Thursday, March 26, 2009

It was Motown week on AMERICAN IDOL

And one of the Top 10 contestants was even African-American!

Smokey Robinson served as the guest mentor. Younger people didn’t recognize him. I’m sure older people who know what he used to look like didn’t recognize him either. Do not go to Diana Ross’ plastic surgeon! You didn’t find it strange that his office was in Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum?

The key word this season is “artist”, thus adding a new level of pretension to the cheese. I blame Kara. “It’s not about singing”, she whined last night, “it’s about artistry”. She’s saying this to kids singing “Rockin’ Robin”.

Matt Giraud kicked off the five hour show in high style singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”. The judges were universally knocked out by his choreography – and by that I mean he stepped away from the piano and sang standing next to it. Wow!!!! Somewhere in heaven Bob Fosse is humbled. Matt’s bluesy rendition was undercut somewhat by his wardrobe -- a tie and sweater. Or maybe I just don’t get “Osmond Soul”.

Kris Allen sang Marvin’s “How Sweet It Is” but really should’ve sung Diana’s “I’m Coming Out”.

Who hates Scott McIntyre so much that they let him walk out on stage in pink pants? I mean, that’s the kind of prank you reserve for Hitler. Scott turned the Supreme’s “You Can’t Hurry Love” into a Hall & Oates song.

At this point in the show Paula said she had something for Simon and disappeared under the desk. Tell me every person in America wasn’t thinking blowjob. And wasn’t surprised. When she emerged she had coloring books and crayons. She says it’s because Simon acts like he’s 6, but in truth she was just giving him her memoirs to proof. Later, Simon drew a mustache on her. I suppose there are some nights when that's what Paula looks like when she applies her lipstick.

Megan Joy sported a Connie Stevens hairdo and bludgeoned “For Once In My Life”. I imagine she made the same sounds when they were burning the tattoos into her arm.

Anoop Desai did Smokey’s “Oooh Baby Baby”. Paula said, “You have a new found confidence but I want to see more confidence.” You laugh but it’s the smartest thing she’s said all season.

Michael Sarver sang “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” all the while pickin’ and a-grinnin’. I guess when a boy from Jasper, Texas pleads to a girl to not dump him he smiles because if she doesn’t comply he can just tie her ankles and throw her in a sack.

Lil Rounds belted out “Heat Wave”. She should have chosen, “What Does it Take to Win Your Love?” because she sang great yet the judges were lukewarm. They were disappointed because they felt Motown was her genre and she should have killed. Jesus. I don’t know what more she could have done other than marry Berry Gordy.

Danny Gokey is just so gosh darned likable. He can sing, he can smile, he’s America’s mascot.

Allison Irahets is a 40-year-old divorced mother of Mickey Rourke’s twins living in the body of a 16-year-old. When all her friends are watching High School Musical she must be watching Hud. Her version of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” was raw and real and would be the best performance of any night…

except…

Adam Lambert’s was even better. Wearing his hair in a pompadour and looking like Elvis before he started gulping whole cakes at a time, Adam performed an absolutely exquisite version of “Tracks of My Tears”. Controlled, heartbreaking, and wholly original. I thought Paula, Kara, and Smokey were all going to rush the stage to kiss him on the mouth. Adam is clearly smarter, more innovative, and talented than all the other contestants, and even when he misfires (“Ring of Fire” is not a vampire anthem) he’s still fascinating.

I think it’s Michael’s turn to get the boot and when he sings “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” to the judges hoping for a reprieve, I bet the meaning of the song will finally dawn on him.

18 comments:

Jayne said...

Adam was AWESOME last night! And as much as I like Danny, he just should NOT dance!

Nathan said...

::Ahem:: Berry

Just sayin'.

Mary Stella said...

I'm not surprised that your recap gets barraged with comments. You're a famous writer and radio announcer. Me, I'm just struggling lowlist, but at least a couple of my friends liked my recap enough to comment. *g*

Kara is starting to annoy me. Did you notice that she might embrace artistry but simple arithmetic is beyond her. She told Adam she had six words for his performance and then used at least eight.

If Broadway ever produces a show based on the collective works of Kevin Smith (Dogma - The Musical!), Danny's a lock to play dual parts of Kevin and Silent Bob.

wv = exenesti or Sartres embraces Buddhism

John said...

At first I thought the headline said 'It was Meltdown week on AMERICAN IDOL' and thought, "What's that wacky Paula done this time?" Probably something involving waking Jack Nicholson up at 3 in the morning...

elizabethm said...

I am a older white women and I was a bit offended when the judges assumed that Motown would be Lil Rounds genre. Unless I missed something in the earlier rounds where she killed a Motown song, it seems like black women = Motown to me.

Also is her name representing her chest or booty?

Bilge said...

I love that people are criticizing you now for not paying close enough attention to the show. Apparently you are getting some facts wrong. Congratulations on your waning interest.
'Stop blog filler now!"

The Milner Coupe said...

First, thanks for that take on Lil Round's Heat Wave. I thought she sang it better than the original. I couldn't disagree more with what the judges said. I thought her vocals actually 'unrushed' the song so to speak. She sang the words as if she communicating. I'm sure they'll change their minds on the replay.

Gokey missed a great opportunity to showcase his singing style. He was born to sing Four Tops songs yet he chose to sing Get Ready? For everybody but Rare Earth it's a nice throw away song. If he has any chance to win, he's gonna have to pull the emotion card. Had he sung Bernadette or Reach Out (I'll Be There) and dressed like Berry Gordy was in the house, well he didn't so we remember how nice he is instead of...

How great is that San Diego kid? He is doing eveyhing right (I still think you're crazy about his Ring Of Fire). My sister called and asked if I saw the confetti and ballons fall as he finished singing? I have to say I did and besides wanted to see what he's going to do each new week, there is no reason to continue the competition.

PS. Although at first glance, Kara and her insanely stupid remarks and preachy delivery may seem worthless, somehow her presence has inspired Paula to emerge has the 'Judge Who Is Most Often Right'. And that new status has brought out the stupid in Simon. Sometime's a tool is just a tool.

LisaB said...

I have to agree with the judges on Lil. She was manic and shouting. I tried to stay with her, because I have liked her in the past, but I eventually had to hit the forward button. (Note: if you TiVo the show and start watching it at about 915p, you can finish right on time at 10p).

Adam was just amazing. I smiled through his whole performance. That's my yardstick--how much does this person make me smile? It really is satisfying to watch someone who clearly loves performing and is so dang good at it.

Allison was incredible, too. Seriously, so many of them need to go, now. Can we just boot Megan, Michael and Scott all tonight? Next, Kris and Anoop, then Matt. Danny and Lil should make it to the final four, but it's all going to come down to Allison and Adam. Watching them will keep us hanging on, but this season seems too long already.

jbryant said...

I dunno, I think I'm with the judges on Lil. She can be a great singer, but her "Heat Wave" was mostly just loud.

Ken, are suggesting that Kris Allen's wife is a beard?

I thought Megan Joy should be going home until Sarver performed. She's at least original and can sometimes stumble upon a song that fits her style. He has a nice voice but no edge. Lightly soulful, but no real soul. He did himself no favors by forcing us to compare him to David Ruffin.

Though I liked Danny's "Get Ready," I agree with Milner Coupe that he should've done a Tops song. Seems he never chooses the best songs for himself, but he's so technically proficient and has just a great tone, it doesn't matter as much as it does with some others.

Michael Zand said...

Have you noticed that everything Scott sings sounds like Christian music? He proved it last night by making Motown sound white.

Couldn't disagree with you and Simon more about Adam's "Ring of Fire" last week. It was brilliant, edgy and haunting. Even though Simon is usually right on, I've always pegged him as a bit of a square. Et tu Ken?

Tom Quigley said...

" Jesus. I don’t know what more she could have done other than marry Berry Gordy...

Actually, I think having an affair with Berry Gordy and then bearing him an illegitimate child is more his M.O....

I honestly was planning on watching last night, but then noticed that one of the local cable channels was replaying a restrospective on the career of Hervé Villechaize... It was entitled "There Are No Small Parts"... And I missed it the first two times it was on, and promised myself that damn it, I wasn't going to miss it a third time!...

Probably won't watch IDOL next week either... Plan on catching Animal Planet's tribute to Sarah Palin...

wv: cladspi -- wasn't that a movie starring Robert Redford? "The Great Cladspi"?...

growingupartists said...

Welcome to the dark side. Hitler jokes, huh, looking forward to tomorrow's recap of whatever crosses your mind.

VP81955 said...

If Motown can survive "Idol," we know it's indestructible. Check some of the more obscure songs on YouTube -- especially the early Miracles stuff. Pure bliss.

wv: "pattle" -- "It's a toy!"

"It's a torture device!"

"You're both right!"

P.S. Keep me in your thoughts. I have eye surgery tomorrow morning.

Dhppy said...

I wonder why the judges are just now noticing that Lil Rounds shouts all her songs. Notes are supposed to be hit yes, but not cuffed and subdued.

That damn, Adam. His freaky Ring of Fire, and this performance actually got me on his side.

Poor Anoop sang well and still I see him circling the drain in two weeks.

...Holy crap! I just got spoiled on who lost by Yahoo while going to my email. Bastards!
Perhaps, if someone hadn't told Scott he is white, he wouldn't have been afraid of Motown?

And Megan... well, as Paula says, she certainly is a pretty girl.

D. McEwan said...

I have to agree with the judges on Lil last night. Ghastly. Almost as bad as Megan. Screechy, out of control, horrible-sounding vocals, not quite reaching the high notes. Really wretched.

And count me among the lovers of Adam's RING OF FIRE last week, which I thought was sensational, and a welcome relief in an evening of country-music slush. Of course his song last night was wonderful, and once he got his hair out of his face, a nice-looking boy. Adam, lose the bangs forever.

And it was nice to see Smokey Robinson treat Adam with respect. Last week that Travis person looked like he was afraid he'd catch a disease from just talking with the alien thing he saw Adam as.

I would think Megan would go home tonight, although I can't imagine where Sarver got the idea that a man begging his lady not to leave should be a happy song. Terrible as he was, Megan's performance was pure ear torture.

Meanwhile, a mind-boggling episode was running on LOST, that was much more entertaining than AI was.

Mary Stella said...

Ken, do you also watch the results show? Last night Ruben Studdard performed . . . some song. None of us could pay attention because we were transfixed by the flood of sweat covering his head. If he tanks as a singer he could be the next pitch man for Sham-Wow.

Dave Mackey said...

I've stopped reading the MTV recaps. Ken Levine rocks my AmIdol recap world.

You nailed that ending! Two weeks ago we had sweet Alexis pleading to the judges with "Jolene".

And last night Michael was not too proud to beg. Even though it looked like Paula and Kara were digging it, Simon stepped in and said, "We disagree, he's going home." Remember, all the judges have to agree, and it ultimately comes down to winning Simon over, since he seems to have the veto power over Kara, Randy and Paula. That's the one thing that's no good about the judges' veto - it should be a secret ballot of some sort.

coffee said...

it's interesting how the different contestants are emerging as either obviously terrible or obviously great