And one of the Top 10 contestants was even African-American!
Smokey Robinson served as the guest mentor. Younger people didn’t recognize him. I’m sure older people who know what he used to look like didn’t recognize him either. Do not go to Diana Ross’ plastic surgeon! You didn’t find it strange that his office was in Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum?
The key word this season is “artist”, thus adding a new level of pretension to the cheese. I blame Kara. “It’s not about singing”, she whined last night, “it’s about artistry”. She’s saying this to kids singing “Rockin’ Robin”.
Matt Giraud kicked off the five hour show in high style singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”. The judges were universally knocked out by his choreography – and by that I mean he stepped away from the piano and sang standing next to it. Wow!!!! Somewhere in heaven Bob Fosse is humbled. Matt’s bluesy rendition was undercut somewhat by his wardrobe -- a tie and sweater. Or maybe I just don’t get “Osmond Soul”.
Kris Allen sang Marvin’s “How Sweet It Is” but really should’ve sung Diana’s “I’m Coming Out”.
Who hates Scott McIntyre so much that they let him walk out on stage in pink pants? I mean, that’s the kind of prank you reserve for Hitler. Scott turned the Supreme’s “You Can’t Hurry Love” into a Hall & Oates song.
At this point in the show Paula said she had something for Simon and disappeared under the desk. Tell me every person in America wasn’t thinking blowjob. And wasn’t surprised. When she emerged she had coloring books and crayons. She says it’s because Simon acts like he’s 6, but in truth she was just giving him her memoirs to proof. Later, Simon drew a mustache on her. I suppose there are some nights when that's what Paula looks like when she applies her lipstick.
Megan Joy sported a Connie Stevens hairdo and bludgeoned “For Once In My Life”. I imagine she made the same sounds when they were burning the tattoos into her arm.
Anoop Desai did Smokey’s “Oooh Baby Baby”. Paula said, “You have a new found confidence but I want to see more confidence.” You laugh but it’s the smartest thing she’s said all season.
Michael Sarver sang “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” all the while pickin’ and a-grinnin’. I guess when a boy from Jasper, Texas pleads to a girl to not dump him he smiles because if she doesn’t comply he can just tie her ankles and throw her in a sack.
Lil Rounds belted out “Heat Wave”. She should have chosen, “What Does it Take to Win Your Love?” because she sang great yet the judges were lukewarm. They were disappointed because they felt Motown was her genre and she should have killed. Jesus. I don’t know what more she could have done other than marry Berry Gordy.
Danny Gokey is just so gosh darned likable. He can sing, he can smile, he’s America’s mascot.
Allison Irahets is a 40-year-old divorced mother of Mickey Rourke’s twins living in the body of a 16-year-old. When all her friends are watching High School Musical she must be watching Hud. Her version of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” was raw and real and would be the best performance of any night…
Adam Lambert’s was even better. Wearing his hair in a pompadour and looking like Elvis before he started gulping whole cakes at a time, Adam performed an absolutely exquisite version of “Tracks of My Tears”. Controlled, heartbreaking, and wholly original. I thought Paula, Kara, and Smokey were all going to rush the stage to kiss him on the mouth. Adam is clearly smarter, more innovative, and talented than all the other contestants, and even when he misfires (“Ring of Fire” is not a vampire anthem) he’s still fascinating.
I think it’s Michael’s turn to get the boot and when he sings “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” to the judges hoping for a reprieve, I bet the meaning of the song will finally dawn on him.