tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post114024370621748780..comments2023-11-03T06:02:02.128-07:00Comments on By Ken Levine: Some kids write poetry...By Ken Levinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17305293821975250420noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-1140459757081002432006-02-20T10:22:00.000-08:002006-02-20T10:22:00.000-08:00Annie nailed it, but forgot a couple - 1) The chub...Annie nailed it, but forgot a couple - <BR/><BR/>1) The chubby ones who can only be beautiful and charming when stitched into a corset and speaking in iambec pentameter. And they always pronounce it "thea-tuh", by the way, and have no idea that their best friend, whom they've had an unrequieted crush on since freshman year, is gay even though at 21 he's still a virgin and a member of the school choir. Every audition monologue this person ever performs generally ends with either tears or a loud funny face and a flop on the floor. Wants to be a professional actress but eventually refuses to move to New York or Los Angeles and settles for regional productions of As You Like It. <BR/><BR/>2) the dirty ones who wear ripped t-shirts and leather jackets with boots, drive motorcycles and shower only when absolutely necessary. Mumbles a lot and hate any shows requiring them to where tights. At the thought of being in a David Mamet or Sam Shepard play they actually grow physically aroused. Most audition monologues end with him getting enraged at someone he's supposed to love. Tries to sleep with every woman in the department at least twice and makes a pass at least one professor. Has no idea that the good buddy he lifts weights and boxes with at the gym is really gay, even though he never sees him with any woman and the fellow waxes his chest. Wants to be a professional actor but refuses to move to LA or New York, cut his hair or buy real headshots (he likes the k-mart pictures that come 4 out of a machine), so instead settles for community theatre productions of Streetcar Named Desire. <BR/><BR/>There are more, but those are the highlights. <BR/><BR/>BTW, full disclosure, I was unfortunately one of the latter types, but I wasn't afraid to move to NYC or cut my hair. I grew out of the rest of it, thankfully.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-1140291193075860992006-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:002006-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:00your error, young Levine, male, is in assuming the...your error, young Levine, male, is in assuming the purpose of the card is to "get you laid". No, no...the Valentine's card is used to maintain an established lay. There is, as yet, no device which will guarantee the INITIAL lay.SkookumJoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07911146044957613693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-1140280988080304342006-02-18T08:43:00.000-08:002006-02-18T08:43:00.000-08:00My best friend is a theater major, so I've met ple...My best friend is a theater major, so I've met plenty of people from all three of those categories.<BR/><BR/>As for the Valentines...I had a friend way back in eighth grade who was bought his girlfriend lots of chocolates, a few boquets of flowers, and an extremely mushy card for Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, that was the day she decided to dump him.dogganshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18181787629720233183noreply@blogger.com