tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post1998618219842124304..comments2023-11-03T06:02:02.128-07:00Comments on By Ken Levine: The worst agent sales pitch EVERBy Ken Levinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17305293821975250420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-43658198407150625402012-12-28T08:40:48.285-08:002012-12-28T08:40:48.285-08:00Thanks God you weren't swindled by his sugary ...Thanks God you weren't swindled by his sugary talk!<br />Aldo Pisanohttp://www.aldopisano.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-34312128082795583682012-12-19T15:26:50.744-08:002012-12-19T15:26:50.744-08:00Crowd pleaser is right. I can't even pretend I...Crowd pleaser is right. I can't even pretend I don't love a great story about an awful person. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17522490630522046988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-4019661838335487602012-12-12T08:41:19.539-08:002012-12-12T08:41:19.539-08:00Man, what's that agents name? I really want to...Man, what's that agents name? I really want to know, because if he thinks you guys were assholes imagine what he thought of lesser talent. I want him to represent me because Im really insecure and need to be abused.The Man in Hat asks...noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-74326968375103049042012-12-11T21:59:46.656-08:002012-12-11T21:59:46.656-08:00I never want to find out what happened to the jerk...I never want to find out what happened to the jerks in my life. If things went bad for them, I'll feel guilty somehow. If things went well, I'll feel annoyed. If they effectively turned into different people I'll spend too much time deciding how I feel about it.DBensonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-51671063349851201792012-12-11T21:36:25.425-08:002012-12-11T21:36:25.425-08:00Friday Question:
How did you and David get around...Friday Question:<br /><br />How did you and David get around the catch 22 of obtaining an agent? Was the process different in the 80's and if so, has it changed for the better (I'd like to think not)? I always seem to get the same response from agents, that since I haven't written anything that has aired, I can't even send in a spec script. And because I don't have an agent, no one will hire me to write for a show on the air. <br /><br />I've actually given up on finding an agent or even getting on to a writing staff by sending in a spec script and am now focusing completely on making famous friends. Well, famous in Hollywood, I know tons of politicians but the only reason they're here in DC is because they were too ugly for radio. The funny thing is, I have a friend who's on the writing staff of Bones... And even with that connection (which is a bit weak since I write comedy), has not been able to get me a meeting with an agent (her agent).<br /><br />So, any advice or am I doomed to continue to cold call every agent from downtown to the valley?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05976758043152054556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-81984779811568550082012-12-11T18:06:10.768-08:002012-12-11T18:06:10.768-08:00"I don’t know what he’s doing today. I just h..."I don’t know what he’s doing today. I just hope it’s not eulogies."<br /><br />He might be selling timeshares in the Bahamas, because a salesman I encountered there seemed to use a very similar pitch.<br /><br />Me and my wife were there on vacation, and saw a notice about a free lunch (yeah yeah) if you sat through a presentation. We did, and a salesman was assigned to try and make an individual pitch afterwards. I told him right off the bat that we were not going to buy, but of course he had to try anyway.<br /><br />And who knows, he might have been able to convince me, had his whole sales pitch not consisted of telling me how absolutely awful and shitty my own city is, and how great the Bahamas is. He kept giving seemingly endless variations on how nobody could possibly want to live where I live, so I would love being in the Bahamas. <br /><br />I don't even care that much for my city (except I love the weather - golf season is just getting started here), but I felt ready to defend it against this idiot. I always wondered if that was an effective pitch in any situation. I just can't imagine that basically calling the potential buyer an idiot for living in a hellhole everyone hates is a good strategy. Then again, maybe those are the kind of people that are likely to overpay for a timeshare in the Bahamas.Beef Supremenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-84820460209760908822012-12-11T15:39:21.532-08:002012-12-11T15:39:21.532-08:00There's a wonderfully funny little book about ...There's a wonderfully funny little book about agents I read years ago by someone I assume you know well, Ken, since he was a producer on Cheers: Conversations with My Agent, by Rob Long. (http://www.amazon.com/Conversations-My-Agent-Rob-Long/dp/0452277132).<br /><br />wg<br /><br />Wendy M. Grossmanhttp://www.pelicancrossing.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-65974060169784611802012-12-11T13:24:19.583-08:002012-12-11T13:24:19.583-08:00How did he last 17 yers?How did he last 17 yers?chuckcdnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-28682175122577714702012-12-11T13:00:13.281-08:002012-12-11T13:00:13.281-08:00I'm sure there are all kinds of great agent st...I'm sure there are all kinds of great agent stories from anyone who's had to deal with them, such as a couple of experiences I had;<br /><br />(1) Dealing with an agent who considered representing me for TV who turned out to be blind (as in visually impaired);<br /><br />(2) Having an agent tell me over the phone that he hadn't yet gotten the chance to read my spec when I called to check its status, and then receiving a rejection letter from him in the mail later that same day;<br /><br />(3) Working on a pilot at Disney and having to round up all the agents who were attending and pen them in behind a rope because the producers were afraid that they would start to overrun the soundstage and shmooze with their clients during filming. If I had let go of the rope, it would have been like Walmart opening its doors to start the Christmas shopping season..<br /><br />There's some positive stories too, but at the moment I can't recall any...Tom Quigleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12959628996361620134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-90208563622639209292012-12-11T12:31:55.154-08:002012-12-11T12:31:55.154-08:00Friday ?: You may have left an agent [or agency] b...Friday ?: You may have left an agent [or agency] but has an agency or agent ever dumped you & David? [Or on the other hand, say "We'll keep David but YOU have to go!"]YEKIMIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01921751875397071034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-77605900958717238012012-12-11T12:29:36.549-08:002012-12-11T12:29:36.549-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.YEKIMIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01921751875397071034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-19721516716793319612012-12-11T11:58:46.249-08:002012-12-11T11:58:46.249-08:00I don't know if he's doing eulogies or col...I don't know if he's doing eulogies or collections, but I bet he came into work one day and found sheep in his office.<br /><br />PolyWoggPolyWogghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239033481272527855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-60559660854249904622012-12-11T07:41:57.276-08:002012-12-11T07:41:57.276-08:00Sounds like some of the stock broker pitches I'...Sounds like some of the stock broker pitches I've gotten over the years from some young Wall Street go-getters ... though usually they don't haul out the invectives until after you've turned them down, and they've decided they've got nothing to lose by telling you to your face what they've probably been saying already about you when you weren't on the phone.Johnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-3302360193327957162012-12-11T07:32:10.298-08:002012-12-11T07:32:10.298-08:00I'd like to know someone on whom that pitch wo...I'd like to know someone on whom that pitch worked, though, wouldn't you? On what bundle of insecurities would that pitch resonate? Woody Allen's most nebbishy character wouldn't be cowed by that... would he?<br /><br />My guess is that that guy is now happily working in consumer collections....The Curmudgeonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14723009641287783218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-60802404606355062112012-12-11T07:12:57.021-08:002012-12-11T07:12:57.021-08:00It could only be an Ari Gold-type character. I ima...It could only be an Ari Gold-type character. I imagined him saying these words the minute I got to them during your post.Eduardo Jencarellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14393598179614372710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-27994428008540132252012-12-11T06:35:49.657-08:002012-12-11T06:35:49.657-08:00Back in 1979 I'm in college in San Francisco a...Back in 1979 I'm in college in San Francisco and have written a spec Lou Grant script and a spect Jeffersons script (my writing partner knew Marla Gibbs), and my partner and I come down to Los Angeles to try and secure an agent.<br /><br />We look at the addresses from the Writers Guild of different agents and see that a good number of them are located on Wilshire Blvd. Growing up in New York, I figure if they're on the same block we can walk to all of them. Of course, they're miles apart and we're out of breath as we approach each one. We walk into each of the offices to drop off our scripts. Some will take them, some will not.<br /><br />One agent actually yelled at us and said how dare we presume that we can walk into his office and have him read our scripts. He literally yelled at us for daring to think that he, an agent, would want to potentially represent someone (or at least us)! My partner and I wrote down his name so that when we were famous we could say bad things about him when we accepted our Academy Awards. Unfortunately, 30 years and no Academy Awards later, I don't think I'll have the opportunity. Oh well, I lost his name anyway! <br /><br />We did get an agent out of it. He never found us any work, but he did call me "tiger" on the phone when he said we wrote good scripts! "Good job, Tiger!" I've never been called "tiger" before or since. David Schwartzhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ2W6VoCrSwnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-50595457073890430602012-12-11T06:18:34.803-08:002012-12-11T06:18:34.803-08:00"I just hope it’s not eulogies."
Lol!
..."I just hope it’s not eulogies."<br /><br />Lol!<br /><br />How did you react when he started hurling abuse at you? It must have been satisfying to listen to all that and then inform him that you planned to leave anyway :) Johnny Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com