Monday, April 14, 2008

Blogging can KILL!!

AMERICAN IDOL recap will appear late tonight.

Wow! Thanks to all of you who entered the Komedy Kontest. Over the next few days the judge will be going through all of the entries. It won’t be an easy job narrowing them to five because there were quite a few terrific ones. And a few that were a real cry for help. Keep checking for the announcement of finalists and your chance to vote. Thanks again, everybody. And no, David Isaacs is not the judge.

Every so often I’ll get a comment blasting me for misspelling, bad grammar, or just a general “you’re an idiot” accusation. That’s okay except you should know I’m tempting DEATH by writing this blog.

Recently a prominent technology blogger had a massive heart attack and died. Exhausted following multiple posts he just collapsed.

Considering there is now something like 20,000,000 bloggers I have to say I don’t like my odds.

Non-bloggers might not appreciate the crushing pressure we’re under to create content. Sure there are other professions that are stress-producing but let’s be realistic. Air traffic controllers get breaks during fog. Fire fighters have days when they’re just washing the truck. There is no rest for bloggers. Every day (or week or month) we must keep feeding the monster. New anecdotes, more advice, fresh tirades, pictures of kitties – it never stops!!!

And yet I shall continue. Call me courageous, fearless, even reckless. But I will never stand down from my comedy watch. And if the inevitable happens I hope readers will remember me for my bravery and dedication and not because I use too many commas.

33 comments :

  1. Godspeed, Ken Levine.

    You are my higher power.

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  2. More kitties, please. And fresh whiskey for my horsies.

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  3. If those kitties are yours, they're even cuter than Cookie, Empress of the Known Universe, currently sitting on my shoulder and whispering in my ear what to write here.

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  4. I just got that same picture sent to me, and then I check your blog and there it is! LOL

    Take a deep breath, and keep blogging away, Ken!

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  5. My kitty cat is fifteen years old and weighs fourteen pounds.
    I usually give her a bath in the sink. However....
    Once, she was having her lady busines cleaned at the Vet. I called to check on her and the nice girl at the desk told me that she was air-drying because she had a little meltdown and freaked out when they put her in the dryer box. DRYER BOX??!! I had never heard of such a thing. I treid to remain calm and asked exactly what happened. She put the attendant on the phone to assure me that after my cat started doing back flips in the dryer box, the promptly removed her and she was no air drying comfortably. Well....no sooner did they tell me to come by in a couple of hours to retrieve her, I was out the door and in the Vet's office in about five minutes flat. True, the Vet was very close to my house. I almost started crying. (I know, pathetic) I called out to my cat[--or rather cried out for her and I heard her distinct meowanswer. She was unfazed back in my arms and air dried just fine at home under the livingroom table. Dryer Boxes. Who knew?

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  6. sorry for the typos and spelling errors
    lady business
    they promptly removed her
    tried to remain clam

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  7. Well that about sums it up. Spend an hour or three knocking out a blog on any subject, and 5 of the 6responses are about "the cats in the picture." :) Blogged by Bob Evans? LOL (live on levine).

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  8. I'm not sure I could do the every day blogging thing. But I know the pressure. When I started my blog, I didn't really figure anyone would find it. It was just a place for me to bitch and moan.

    And bitch and moan I did. But then people began to read and then I felt the pressure to post.

    This last couple of weeks has been really dull. Like, painfully dull. So what do I write about?

    But if I was going for an update every day, I think I'd have to hire a ghost writer. Wouldn't it be cool to hire a ghost? Not a crappy one like Casper. More like the girl from Ring. The one in the well. Yeah, that would rock.

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  9. Ken, we who are about to blog salute you!

    I've never understood the need to point out typos on blogs. It's not like we're incredibly lazy, stupid, or careless. Goofs happen. Unlike books, the blog posts don't go through multiple readers and a copy editor. Besides, blog content is free. Enjoy.

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  10. Ken, I feel your pain. I hope you take this link in the spirit it's posted. It can only help with your 'problem'... :)

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=N7L02tCNi0I

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  11. I find the semicolon to be a very useful tool in an over comma populated world.
    I further find the colon to be a very useful tool in an over opinionated world.

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  12. If a typo gets through just blame the editor, just never admit that you are your own editor and things are good.

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  13. The National Comma Reserves are at an all-time low, and the government is not being forthcoming about the real levels of available punctuation.

    We either need to tap the punctuation wells at Yellowstone--which will cause an uproar among environmentalists and possibly hasten the long-overdue eruption of the Yellowstone Super Volcano--or we need to develop an effective alternative to punctuation and I propose that we revert to the run-on sentence because it seems to be the most efficient available solution as well as the most environmentally-friendly, and while the run-on sentence may cause a bit of a drain on the National Comma Reserves, it's entirely possible that since using run-on sentences will save periods by the truckload, we might be able to convert some periods.

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  14. Ken,

    Heve we commenters ever stopped to express our gratitude? The amount of time and effort you expend each day to entertain and inform us is amazing -- and you do it without ever realizing a penny in return. The least we can do is send you a heartfelt THANK YOU!

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  15. Hear hear. Thanks Ken for at least making the web a better place.

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  16. i think the biggest danger comes from overuse of ellipses. . .

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  17. Hey, my 'kitty' comment was a euphemism. Thanks for all the fish, Ken. I'd give you the day off if I could. Let's play two. And take the fork in the road.

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  18. So that's why my cats always smell like toothpaste...

    Thanks for your daily dedication to this blog, Ken. Now go take a nap in the bathtub.

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  19. Tina Degado would be proud.

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  20. I briefly taught an adult education English class, which mainly served to remind me how damned difficult it is to keep all the rules straight. The proper use of commas was a big issue. Some students erred on the side of caution and simply threw in a comma every 4 or 5 words. I once read a similarly punctuated screenplay, and I wanted to tear my eyes out after 5 pages. But yeah, grammar-policing a blog is just sad.

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  21. Thanks from me too, Ken. You'll get your reward in blog heaven!

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  22. All I have to do is tell people you used to be known as Beaver Cleaver, and it gets a huge laugh. So don't worry, you're way ahead. Hey May, keep up the excellent work

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  23. Ken,

    I certainly hope blogging doesn't drive you to an early grave... but just to be on the safe side, as a contingency, I've started reciting the Kaddish...

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  24. William Tecumseh Sherman once suggested that if newspapermen were to meet their demise "there would be news from hell by breakfast".

    Why not blog posts as well?

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  25. One too many exclamation points in that title, Levine.

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  26. To anonymous:

    What do you mean, "would"? Tina Delgado is still alive, ALIVE!

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  27. Ellipses are harmless. It's the tangents and hyperbole that you have to watch out for.

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  28. ABC (by Robert Pinsky)

    Any body can die, evidently. Few
    Go happily, irradiating joy,

    Knowledge, love. Many
    Need oblivion, painkillers,
    Quickest respite.

    Sweet time unafflicted,
    Various world:

    X = your zenith.
    ***********************************

    (My thanks to you, Ken for "irradiating joy knowledge love")--from Swanson

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  29. Bravo, Ken.

    Please don't die.

    Thanks.

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  30. As a shameless comma Nazi, let me assure you that none of your little miscues has diminished my love of your blog. Anyay, it's not that you use too many commas, some of them just wander off and settle in strange places. If your claim to fame was as a grammarian, it would be one thing, but you're a comedy writer--and fantastic comedy writer--and on that score you succeed beyond all expectations.

    Live long and perspire.

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  31. Hey, Ken - why not have people guest-host the blog for you? When you need a break? Like the guy who writes 'Family Circus' does.

    Maybe I need a better analogy.

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  32. o, ken! defy death! keep on blogging!

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  33. Like the guy who writes 'Family Circus' does.

    To beat a new hole into an old joke: That crap is written?

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