tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post8213492412090437341..comments2023-11-03T06:02:02.128-07:00Comments on By Ken Levine: Writers can't find work in adult entertainmentBy Ken Levinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17305293821975250420noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-14351165989990109972009-08-30T11:01:27.035-07:002009-08-30T11:01:27.035-07:00Sigh. Dead market.
That said, I checked IMDB for ...Sigh. Dead market.<br /><br />That said, I checked IMDB for _The Flasher (2006)_ and there is no listing there.<br /><br />I'm going to try Netflix next, but I'm starting to believe you're suggesting that IMDB ignores an entire market.Ken Houghtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01440837287933536370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-26323532785690990482009-07-21T09:51:58.162-07:002009-07-21T09:51:58.162-07:00They use scripts in porn films?!?!
It had to be s...They use scripts in porn films?!?!<br /><br />It had to be said ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-78133215801360509342009-07-19T06:11:46.083-07:002009-07-19T06:11:46.083-07:00Obviously the answer is to fill the gap (heh heh) ...Obviously the answer is to fill the gap (heh heh) in the market for more upscale porn - I would recommend movies based on classic and modern works of literature. For the first entry, you could film the memoirs of a well-endowed young man called "A Jawbreaking Work of Staggering Penis."<br /><br />(I've wanted to use that for a while... thanks for providing the venue, Ken!)spmsmithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-44289781274838909662009-07-16T19:32:17.726-07:002009-07-16T19:32:17.726-07:00"Who cares why a smoking hot Asian girl is a ..."Who cares why a smoking hot Asian girl is a cantor?"<br /><br />An hour later you want to see her do the Kol Nidre again.randyhttp://www.tvrandywest.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-58730292122719957072009-07-16T19:05:51.154-07:002009-07-16T19:05:51.154-07:00That would be great! I'm sick of this modern p...That would be great! I'm sick of this modern porn where they have dialogue and acting and stuff. My fast forward is wearing out more than usual. Just put some people with chemistry, film them having sex. Like with any other form of entertainment, it's all about the chemistry between the players.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-56958698153769343812009-07-16T16:34:40.800-07:002009-07-16T16:34:40.800-07:00Not porn script writing but...
Whilst doing a li...Not porn script writing but...<br /><br /><br />Whilst doing a little late night drunken web surfing a few years ago i came across (no pun intended) a Japanese porn site. The ‘Engrish’ translations of the descriptions of the porn DVD’s were bizarrely incomprehensible and so very, very, funny. As i was drunk i emailed the sites webmaster with some of the more obvious corrections and was surprised to receive a very friendly reply thanking me the next day. The Japanese webmaster apologised for his poor ‘Engrish’ and asked if i could help with any of the other descriptions! Over the next few weeks he sent me his best efforts at translations and i tried to make sense of them, which given his poor English and the very weird nature of Japanese porn, was not always easy.<br /> <br />This was great fun and I enjoyed telling everyone i knew that i was a copywriter for a Japanese porn site. Not sure i should put it on my CV though...playfullhttp://perrywilsher.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-14958884204368956892009-07-16T15:47:25.119-07:002009-07-16T15:47:25.119-07:00Well, we've been viewing un-reality porn for y...Well, we've been viewing un-reality porn for years, so what they?<br /><br />(and by viewing I mean for research purposes only. You know, for a book or pamphlet or something)Mike Bellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-31026454403924558842009-07-16T15:28:16.865-07:002009-07-16T15:28:16.865-07:00Emily's spotted the trend - reality porn. How ...Emily's spotted the trend - reality porn. How long do you think Western civilisation has got? Forty, fifty years? Maybe a couple of hundred.blogwardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07362291687463326731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-57234851198100387202009-07-16T14:30:24.366-07:002009-07-16T14:30:24.366-07:00PS (Like that post wsan't long enough)
"...PS (Like that post wsan't long enough)<br /><br />"bevo said... <br />and the dudes who spend too much time at the gym ('roids for everyone!)."<br /><br />Bev, I don't know about straight porn (Ew.), but there are NO steroid users in gay porn. Steroids make your willy get all shrivelled and tiny. A steroid user would never make the cut in gay porn, and I can't see how they'd be much use in straight porn either.D. McEwannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-29868204230037721162009-07-16T14:21:52.229-07:002009-07-16T14:21:52.229-07:00"Patrick said...
In response to D. McEwan ....."Patrick said... <br />In response to D. McEwan ...<br /><br />Hi, I'm from a small town in Kansas, and having just read your post, I'm left wondering if maybe I just don't speak the same language as you - although it would appear to be English ... very odd ..."<br /><br />I'm terrible sorry, Pat; I thought they spoke English in Kansas also. What languauge is it you speak there? Anyway, you write English very well for someone for whom it is a second language.<br /><br />The fact is, the closest I've ever been to Kansas was 35,000 feet above. I didn't realize people actually landed there, let alone LIVED there. Are you being held against your will? I mean I've seen it in movies, and the place is black & white, and is full of homely old farm folks and mean old ladies on bikes who kill children's doggies. And it's nowhere near an ocean or a good gay district. I also remember seeing another movie about Kansas, IN COLD BLOOD, and after seeing what life for the Clutters was like in Kansas, I expected that when they caught Dick and Perry, instead of executing them, they'd have given them an humanitarian award for putting the Clutters out of their misery. Talk about Life in HELL!<br /><br />"Patrick said... <br />In response to D. McEwan ...<br />But if you don't mind me asking a personal question - I don't mean to be so forward, and I really mean no offense at all, but ... are you by any chance gay?"<br /><br />Why would asking if I'm gay offend me? Do you think there's something wrong with being gay? Its not like being a Republican.<br /><br />Anyway, my congratulatuions on your superb deductive reasoning. I'm impressed. Have you thought of becoming a consulting detective? There's a family named Baskerville in Dartmoor being troubled by a mysterious hound who could use your help.<br /><br />***<br />I once saw a porn film with no dialogue, no setting, and no story whatever, which still had a "Written by" credit in the titles. I've also had a porn producer (I know lots of different kinds of folks) tell me that a script for a feature-length porn film should never be over a single page long. And there's nothing quite like a porn blooper reel (Yes, those get included on the DVDs sometimes) showing some gorgeous young man trying to remember a line like "Hello" and requiring 37 takes, or watching take after take of a line like "Shut up and bend over!" where the director is trying to get an understandable reading of it from a guy who's been out of Croatia now for about 45 minutes.<br /><br />"bevo said... <br />Besides the tattoos, which are simply disgusting, do not forget the actors who are completely shaven, the chicks with the malformed faked breasts and the dudes who spend too much time at the gym ('roids for everyone!)."<br /><br />Man, you gotta see some better quality porn. I mean "chicks"! Was it a farm setting? And if you're buying fake breasts, why not go for well-formed ones? Why pay for malformed ones, unless you're into them? <br /><br />I just watched "Hairy Guyz III" two days ago, and there wasn't weren't any "actors who are completely shaven" in it at all. In fact, there were no "actors" period, just porn performers (they are NOT actors, just future California governors.), and believe me, they were NOT shaved ANYWHERE.<br /><br />Man, this topic is so much more interesting than baseball, although without baseball, there would never have been the all-male classics THESE BASES ARE LOADED (I, II, and III. It was a very successful franchise), LITTLE BIG LEAGUE, DAMNED YANKERS, and MAKING THE TEAM (I, II, III, and IV), all of which were set in the dugout and locker rooms. They never show the dull part out on the playing field. (and they seldom rent an actual ballfield either.)<br /><br />WV: biabore, as in "Why biabore when you can rent?"<br /><br />Second WV (First didn't take for some reason): pooglo: A substance that makes defecating under a blacklight really trippy.D. McEwannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-65413533475359311982009-07-16T12:25:39.852-07:002009-07-16T12:25:39.852-07:00I just wanted to voice my approval on the image se...I just wanted to voice my approval on the image selection for this article.<br /><br />Anytime you want to share more adult industry stories (with appropriate eye-candy), feel free.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05769168481906836978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-80063880858971641012009-07-16T12:23:30.778-07:002009-07-16T12:23:30.778-07:00This was an interesting read, still pondering. The...This was an interesting read, still pondering. The comments were just as entertaining as the read, except for this boring one I just posted...lol.Aaliyahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04592146576233426623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-24268690898554097362009-07-16T12:06:46.514-07:002009-07-16T12:06:46.514-07:00"...tatted-up pizza delivery boy."
Besi..."...tatted-up pizza delivery boy."<br /><br />Besides the tattoos, which are simply disgusting, do not forget the actors who are completely shaven, the chicks with the malformed faked breasts and the dudes who spend too much time at the gym ('roids for everyone!).<br /><br />I prefer '70s porn where people still had hair on their bodies, tattoos were as rare as an anal scene, and guys left their white tube socks on during the entire scene.bevonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-73568046719052582762009-07-16T10:14:24.532-07:002009-07-16T10:14:24.532-07:00The one good thing about porn stars is they are du...The one good thing about porn stars is they are dumb enough to sleep with the writer.Ted McCarthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935814565683423660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-75289630921638337222009-07-16T09:54:26.523-07:002009-07-16T09:54:26.523-07:00"Who cares why a smoking hot Asian girl is a ..."Who cares why a smoking hot Asian girl is a cantor?"<br /><br />That's what I asked everyone in shul, but they fired her anyway. And I haven't been back since.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14292453088631182688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-75858282398705188912009-07-16T07:57:46.981-07:002009-07-16T07:57:46.981-07:00Women love a good story they reasoned and what cou...<i> Women love a good story they reasoned and what could be a better one than a 21 year old horny housewife letting in a hunky tatted-up pizza delivery boy?</i><br /><br />How about a 51 year old horny housewife fulfilling every cougar fantasy with a hunky, tatted-up pizza delivery guy who gets the reference to hide the pepperoni?Mary Stellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02186261066656584772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-86185524639840049372009-07-16T07:36:18.950-07:002009-07-16T07:36:18.950-07:00I think the big money now is in custom porn. You c...I think the big money now is in custom porn. You call up some porn people and say "Hey, I like vomiting. Can you make me a story where a girl vomits all over a dude's penis?" And there you go. No studios, just this one producer for hire.<br /><br />Yes this is a real thing.Emily Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02163221455899041141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-70145688509868806952009-07-16T07:32:34.217-07:002009-07-16T07:32:34.217-07:00I once tried to write an adult film script. The p...I once tried to write an adult film script. The people I showed it to told me I needed to flesh out the story some more...Tom Quigleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12959628996361620134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-5714913890998843602009-07-16T07:05:51.528-07:002009-07-16T07:05:51.528-07:00Sidenote: What does it say about the state of the ...<i>Sidenote: What does it say about the state of the newspaper industry when this is on page one of the Gray Lady?</i><br /><br />Don't forget the Gray Lady's offices are now located directly across the street from the Port Authority Bus Terminal, and on the former site of a bunch of peep show parlors that bit the dust (or sucked the dust, or bit something) during the Giuliani Administration. I'd say they're just channeling the spirits of their block's former residents.<br /><br />And as far as eliminating the writers goes, it's just one step from when the industry really gets CGI perfected. Then they're eliminating the actors in favor of digital ones with, ahem, more enhanced attributes (with the appropriate Pixar related play-on-words titles, like "Up...and Up and Up")Johnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-69544508323253054992009-07-16T06:35:53.955-07:002009-07-16T06:35:53.955-07:00Not much to say on the topic, but had to post sinc...Not much to say on the topic, but had to post since the word verifcation was fittingly...<br /><br />dingl<br /><br />Sad part about going from "plots" to "scenes" is where does this leave the the guys who came up with the titles based on current and classic movies? After all, "Backside to the Future III" and "Ghosts of Gangbangs Past" imply there will be a plot stringing things together. Why bother when you can just slap "Redhead Asian Sluts" on the box?Sean D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04938260092908295384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-28326199477279055282009-07-16T05:59:21.083-07:002009-07-16T05:59:21.083-07:00Once I saw a Heckle and Jeckle cartoon that had no...Once I saw a Heckle and Jeckle cartoon that had no setup: when the action starts, they're already on the run, heading into a slaughterhouse on a conveyor belt or some such. Made me realize how much Chuck Jones et al. actually worked on plot, not just gags. So maybe Terrytoons is doing porn now?estivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12736355730705116526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-33876220709504536942009-07-16T05:50:17.518-07:002009-07-16T05:50:17.518-07:00But STILL I get charged for the whole movie I &quo...But STILL I get charged for the whole movie I "accidentally" ordered at the hotel. Even after I explain to the desk clerk that it took me ten minutes (okay, three) to figure out that "Nalin' Palin" wasn't a documentary about the "drive-by media's" quest to screw, um, get the former Rep. VP candidate.Mike Bellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-40774862364893701032009-07-16T05:43:00.165-07:002009-07-16T05:43:00.165-07:00Not that there's anything wrong with that!
(S...Not that there's anything <em>wrong</em> with that!<br /><br />(Sorry, too obvious huh?)Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00648438549121320566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-27317645888014540772009-07-16T05:41:29.904-07:002009-07-16T05:41:29.904-07:00" Their best avenue to date is mounting websi..." Their best avenue to date is mounting websites that people must subscribe to. "<br /><br />Mounting, eh? <br />Gives a whole new meaning to cyber-sex .....J S Swansonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19336675.post-65768490161334930692009-07-16T04:45:55.141-07:002009-07-16T04:45:55.141-07:00As a comedy writer, no doubt you are familiar with...As a comedy writer, no doubt you are familiar with James Gunn's PG-Porn?<br /><br />These have been consistently brilliant and damn funny.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com