Friday, May 12, 2006

My favorite casting story EVER.

In 1993 my partner David and I were casting a pilot for CBS called BIG WAVE DAVE’S. One of the parts was for Jack. If you haven’t already, read yesterday’s post with a description of Jack and the sides we used for the audition. And now prepare yourself for RC. That’s not his real name but will do for our purposes.

Our office was on the Paramount lot. Our first floor window looked out at Gower Avenue. To set the scene, we were on the couch. To our left was the window to Gower. To our right was Sheila Guthrie, our casting director. Directly across from us was a chair for the actor and the door to our outer office where our assistant and other actors waited. That particular day we were seeing Jacks and Karens. The Karen role would eventually go to Jane Kaczmarek but that day there were maybe six other talented actresses set to read.

Normally the casting director goes out into the waiting room, brings in the actor, and introduces him. When it was time for RC, Sheila went out and came back in alone. She said he wanted to make an entrance. Uh oh, we thought. That can’t be a good sign.

A moment later the door bursts open and this fat sloth bursts in. He’s wearing just a t-shirt and shorts and carrying a large garbage bag over his shoulder (a la Dave). Oh, and he’s SOAKING WET.

We were a little startled but kept it together. He began reading with Sheila and then peeled off his t-shirt. Why we don’t know. He continued reading but now, for some inexplicable reason, he dropped his shorts. All he was wearing was his tighty-whities. And since they were soaked they were completely transparent. In other words, little Willy had now joined the reading.

Amazingly, Sheila managed to keep reading with him. David and I tried to remain composed but the absurdity of this was just too much. We both started laughing.

RC came to the Kampua’a, God of rain speech. He crossed to the window, stood in front of it, rattled the blinds (to represent thunder) and bellowed out his speech. At the same time a young couple, probably tourists, were walking down the street. We could see them from our angle. The couple turned to the noise and the girl went bat shit, screaming in utter terror.

By now David and I were rolling on the floor. RC must’ve felt he was KILLING. He did the last few lines with even greater panache. We’re now on the floor, tears streaming, sides hurting from laughing so hard. What do you say to this guy? We managed “Well, okay, we haven’t seen that before.” He thanked us for his time, gathered up his clothes and the garbage bag. We told him he could put his clothes back on but he said, “No no, I’ve taken up too much of your time already.” With that he walks into the outer office. Now we hear six actresses scream at the top of their lungs. We’re rolling on the floor again.

RC goes out into the hall to dress. The CHEERS offices were at the other end of the hallway. The CHEERS writers came out to see what was going on. From our office we heard those screams, which set us off for another twenty minutes.

Obviously, RC didn’t get the part. But for five minutes I must admit we were considering bringing him to the network.

10 comments :

  1. My eyes! My eyes! Or maybe I should say... My imagination! Because I'm really imagining a very funny, scary vision. RC was certainly dedicated to his craft... or something. At least they were tighty-whities and not a *gulp* thong. It could've been worse. Right?

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  2. Poor old Richard Chamberlain. From Doctor Kildare and Shogun to this.

    Seriously -- did you ever see this guy again? I mean, without giving anything away, is he someone who's out there and working?

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  3. Ken, who was it? We really must know. So, if we can't guess, tell us please. We are obviously not very busy.

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  4. RC?
    So NOW we know what Dick Cheney was doing during the Clinton administration

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  5. That sounds like vintage Chris Farley.

    Slobishness and near-instant nudity were the give-aways. ;)

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  6. What strikes me is how everything is relative. That was a crazy moment from casting a pilot. But what if you decided that it was so funny that it inspired you to write a pilot about two sitcom writers who were casting a show. So, you put that scene into your sitcom and then had to cast it. One after another, dozens of guys would burst in with a garbate bag, drop their pants and run around in tighty whities. And it would all be very mundane.

    I don't know if this even makes sense, but it struck me as a weird epilog to your story.

    Bill

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  7. My sides hurt I'm laughing so hard.

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  8. Ken: Thank you. That was marvelous.

    Everyone Else: Are we playing Blind Item with this?

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  9. Ha ha ha. Fine to tell this story, but please get the facts straight:

    1) I was not that fat in 1993.

    2) My "little" willie is not little, in fact, statistically it is perfectly average. It just looks smaller on my body.

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  10. I gotta go with Farley. Anyone who'd take a sht out of the window of an office at 30 Rock would not be above this kind of spectacle.

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