The Queen

One of these is the Queen of England and the other could easily play her in the "Legends" impersonator show in Las Vegas.


I recently saw THE QUEEN. Excellent movie. Jolly good. Well done. Bob’s your uncle. Helen Mirren has come a long way since CALIGULA. THE QUEEN provided great insight into the British Monarchy (although it still doesn’t explain why Queen Elizabeth refused my offer to read the Esskay Meats Out-of-town scoreboard when she attended an Orioles game I broadcast). Here's the post.

A few years ago when the Queen Mum passed away there were thousands of messages left on her Board of Remembrance. What follows are ACTUAL examples. See the movie and they’re even funnier.

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"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".

L.J.Worthington,Penrith.

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"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"

W.Waugh, Richmond.

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"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried"

E. Gorman, Derbyshire.

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"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imagine that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".

A.Christie,Hendon.

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"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"

J.Clement. Grantham.

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"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"

D.Holmes, Somerset.

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"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".

B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.

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"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".

S.Wilson, Bristol.

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"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".

J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.

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"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to experiment with drugs". E. Franks, Cheshire.

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"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".

T.Watson, Ilford.

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"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her public duties".

N. Wallace, Swansea.

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"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible event"

E. Thompson, West Lothian.

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"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin."

R. Thompson, Bath.

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"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".

G.Williams, West Midlands.

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"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".

L. Weller, Harlow.

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"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless bastard!"

J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.

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"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given a life of privilege and comfort"

T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.

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"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".

Y. Howell, Slough.