I didn’t want to admit it before but I am. I just assumed I would get the $474,000,000 and go on with my life. Oh right. And I’d get the baby. And now with these three other imposters laying claim I have grave fears that if we’re not careful, this could turn into a circus.
I also resent that I have been accused of merely trying to get publicity. All of this comes at a bad time because I’m currently in New York for the reading of my play, UPFRONTS AND PERSONAL Monday night at 7:30 at CAP 21 at 18 W. 18th Street, call 212-352-3101 – and I don’t need the distraction.
Just let me and my family live in peace (and prosperity).
Get in line Mr.
ReplyDeleteI'm the mother of Nicole's baby!
ReplyDeleteThe Father of the Baby. Nice ring to it. Kind of like an update of Father of the Bride.
ReplyDeleteI think at this stage it'll be easier if everyone who doesn't want to register as potential father makes an announcement.
ReplyDelete(I heard Senantor Obama threw his hat into the ring earlier too...)
I am the father of Nicole and her baby. Cut the check.
ReplyDeleteWow Ken I didn't know you were married to Zaza, belated congratulations and I hope you spread the wealth (hint hint) you lucky bastard
ReplyDeleteI am Spartacus!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I fathered Anna Nicole's baby.
I'm Brian, and so's my wife!
ReplyDelete... and you're a comedy writer.
ReplyDeleteWow.
I need money, but not enough to claim I fathered Anna Nicole's baby. No f'ing way, no f'ing how.
ReplyDeleteAnd now with these three other imposters laying claim I have grave fears that if we’re not careful, this could turn into a circus.
ReplyDeleteMake room in the clown car. There are five of you. It could be the rich old man's kid after all.
I thought I was the father. :(
ReplyDeleteIf it was the rich old man's spermination, don't you know Anna Nicole would have JUMPED to declare that profitable little factoid?
ReplyDeleteIn the back of my mind, I thought Beaver Cleaver might have a love child somewhere. Of course, I expected it to be in San Diego or Detroit or San Francisco.
ReplyDeleteThis just might work.
ReplyDeleteI'm the mother of Angelina Jolie's baby. The softball she carried was for show.
Oh wait, she doesn't have a project coming out. Uh, how about Tori Spelling?
Would you believe Marcia Cross?
Then Suri Cruise. She looks just like me at that age!
And I'm pushing for people to go to my blog. Nevermind I'm inconsistent and haven't updated in ages. Read me!
There are people who aren't even born yet that will probably be litigating apsects of this whole mess years from now. I just hope that when those people ARE born, they know who their fathers are....
ReplyDeleteWhy don't all you fathers of Anna Nicole's baby (who, by the way has a name) get together and file a class action suit?
ReplyDelete