It’s not our fault!When a man is looking at a woman and his eyes drift downward do not be offended ladies, it’s how we were programmed.
No… really.
Thank God for the Nielsen/Norman group for uncovering this TRUTH. They conducting a study on Web site design and happened upon this monumental discovery. In tracking eye movement researchers had 255 men and women look at photos of other people. Men always snuck quick peeks at the subject’s crotch – even if the subject was another man.
When shown a photo of admittedly strapping George Brett (pictured right), women locked onto his face. Men couldn’t help checking out his package.
That CLICK you hear is every homophobe now logging off this site.
The study however, concluded that these peeks weren’t a sign of sexual attraction (in most cases… I mean, who are we kidding?). They were a natural response for men to check out the competition. (And just to put your mind at ease guys, he wore a cup.)
We men glance down when looking at a woman for the obvious disgusting reason but the key here is that it can’t be helped! Please consider that the next time you haul off and slap us into next Tuesday.
The survey continues:
Both groups were asked to look at photos of puppies on the American Kennel Club’s site. Women focused on the cute puppies’ big brown eyes. Men’s eyes STILL drifted south towards the dogs’ genitals.
So here are the conclusions I’ve arrived at: Somehow I feel vindicated..
and really creepy.
...that explain the popularity of those ice skating shows...
ReplyDeleteVerily, I am, likewise, ashamed...
Have you ever seen sheep genitals? For the love of God, man...they hang all the way to the ground. They look painful. I was cringing.
ReplyDeleteI saw them at the Ohio State Fair.
You could see them from the skyride. Or go into the sheep tent. I did both.
Best Wishes From One Crotch Ogler To Another,
Seacrest, OUT!!!
I'm proud to be a horndog even if some daze can be ruff.
ReplyDeletecheers
Monty
We spend 9 months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.
ReplyDeleteAs a National League and Phillies fan, I'd never paid much attention to George Brett, but then he was in pursuit of the .400 batting average and his handsome face was all over the place. I figured seeing him in action was just another bonus to my Phillies making it to the World Series in 1980 -- even though we planned to grind the Royals into the clay.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, poor George became known in that series not for his hitting prowess or his fielding skills, but for his hemmorhoids. You know he was hoping for a ring on his finger. Instead he ended up with one to sit on.
I don't know why guys get a bad rap for checking out women. It's not like we go through life and don't ogle you, too.
I call it 'spring-loaded neck syndrome'. Can't be helped. But when busted with the refrain"...My face is up here"
ReplyDeleteI don't move my head and say "I've made my choice."
The awkward stare at my boobies while I'm speaking...yeah, most of male friends -- and numerous strangers -- do it to me all the time. Short of surgery, I can't really help being a 40-C but I'd really appreciate it if you guys would at least look in the general direction of my face while I'm talking to you. Thanks. ;-)
ReplyDeleteKJC
Will all due respect to Kelli J and her boobies...
ReplyDeleteI once did a story on the radio similar to this one...Later that night at home, the phone rings and a friend's incredibly well endowed wife is on the other end...no hello or anything...simply, "what color are my eyes?" And for the only time in my life when I needed an adlib, I came up with one: "You've got eyes?"
I for one would like to hear more about Kelly's boobs.
ReplyDeleteKelly?
With all due respect to Kelly who, after checking out her webpage, seems to be a very talented and lovely woman, as to your request...
ReplyDeletedon't hold your breath.
Alaskaray
I once worked with a woman who was a crotch watcher. That's the first place her eyes would go if you walked up to her desk.
ReplyDeleteQuite flattering, actually, since I'm a grower not a shower and unaccustomed to that kind of attention.
Wasn't my imagination either 'cause I pointed it out to a couple of other guys there and they confirmed it through independent investigation.
How many times have I seen a dog being walked and thought, "Man, that pooch is HUNG!"? Well, never, actually. I was looking at the crotch of the guy walking the dog.
ReplyDeleteBarry Humphries character "Sir Les Patterson", a horny old horndog if ever there was one, routinely describes looking at a beautiful woman thusly, "Being a man, eventually my eyes wandered in the direction of her face. And if that's nice too, it's a bonus!"
This reminds me of why one should always put the Sexual Harassment Forms in a lower drawer...
ReplyDeleteWhen they ask for a form, simply motion them to the drawer. And as they reach over to get it, check out their ass.
The only time I can really recall being a crotch watcher was when I worked w/ a man who always seemed to have a wet spot on his khaki chinos . . .
ReplyDeleteWhat a thoroughly illuminating discusssion this has been! :-)
ReplyDeleteKJC
Men are very competitive by nature. They often check each other out. It's not a gay thing, they're just "sizing" each other up.
ReplyDeleteDiane said...
ReplyDelete"The only time I can really recall being a crotch watcher was when I worked w/ a man who always seemed to have a wet spot on his khaki chinos . .
Alas, the reason I gave up, "going commando."
1-0
ReplyDeleteWhen a man is looking at a woman and his eyes drift downward do not be offended ladies, it’s how we were programmed.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone disputes men are programmed or have a natural inclination to look at breasts. That's not the issue.
The issue is social etiquette/politeness suggests men should stop themselves from looking (no matter how natural or how strong the urge) because it can be considered rude.
I'd read about the Nielsen/Norman group study before and found it interesting. But just for the record, men aren't the only people who look at genitalia.
I'm female and look at men's crotches. But, again, etiquette requires that I do it secretly because it's rude otherwise.
I also look at animal genitalia, not at all in a sexual way, but out of curiosity. If it's in front of me, I'm going to look, and animals don't get offended so no one cares.
And why do people keep saying George Brett is handsome? I don't see it.