Now HERE'S a reality show I want to see -- Paris Hilton has been ordered to spend 45 days in jail for violating probation.I'm sure she'll be welcomed with open arms by the other inmates.
Bet she wishes she were Nicole Richie. She could then slip between the bars.
Any thoughts???
bet she does all 45 in PC.....
ReplyDeleteany thoughts? yes. too bad it's not 45 years. or 450.
ReplyDeleteI guess there IS a god after all.
ReplyDeleteAP quotes from Miss Hilton...
ReplyDelete"Omigod, 45 days that is like a whole month!!....whatever"
"I don't mind doing time...if he's hot"
"Solitary confinement? Is that like a new boutique on Rodeo?"
"Where's Ashton? I am sooo being Punk'd right now"
Proof that dreams DO come true. I can't wait to see her at the Oz Hilton.
ReplyDeleteGee, it would be just awful if she got shanked. That's what I keep telling myself: it would be awful. It would be awful. I just can't remember WHY it would be awful.
I guess that means stripes are gonna be in this season.
ReplyDeleteThat loud groaning sound heard yesterday emanating from downtown L.A. was the sound of the planets realigning. The softer sound that followed was the sound of ten thousand comedy writers sharpening their pencils.
ReplyDeleteAnyone wanna redo Lieber & Stoller's famous "Riot In Cell Block #9" with Paris Hilton-inspired lyrics? (There is a female-oriented version of the song, recorded by Wanda Jackson in the early sixties, although I don't know if Lieber and Stoller wrote the altered lyrics.)
ReplyDeleteI loved the comment from her mother, yelling at the prosecuting attorney that the whole thing was ludicrous. Gee, maybe Mom and Dad could join Paris for some fun time behind bars too! Hopefully, "Mrs. Bubba" will pay Paris a visit ... kind of a "Welcome Wagon" type of visit, if you now what I mean!
ReplyDeleteHaven't the other prisoners suffered enough? Being housed in a jail with Paris Hilton? That's cruel and unusual punishment if ever there was any. Good God, even murderers deserve better than that! This could provoke a constitutional crisis as everyone in Paris's jail files appeals on constitutional grounds.
ReplyDeleteAnd worst of all; they're going to let her back out again. Drat!
Imagine the fight scenes over who gets to make Paris their bitch mmmmm
ReplyDeleteI blame her parents. Every time I book a night in the Paris Hilton I can't help feeling the poor kid had no chance from the get go.
ReplyDeleteMust watch Saturday Night Live tonight for the first of many "Paris Behind Bars" skits. Stay tuned for when she's released and goes on SNL to do her own parody of her time in the big house.
ReplyDeleteWill Tiffany's or Harry Winston custom design her home monitoring ankle bracelet?
She needs to do her time and then get a job, like at Starbucks or even better, Wal-Mart, and have to pay rent like the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you want to bet she has Starbucks and Pucks delivered to her cell?
ReplyDeleteFirst Martha Stewart, now Paris Hilton...is nothing sacred? Can we expect Hillary to go next?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Free Paris is exactly what all the lesbos in cell block g are saying! Of course, they're talking the adverb...
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Free Paris is exactly what all the lesbos in cell block g are saying! Free the adverb, of course...
ReplyDeleteOh, Mary, Mary, Mary... If only Hollywood Ebloa HAD a sense of humour. Remember last year when Tina Fey went on Stern and ripped her a new one for refusing so many of the writers' ideas that one time she hosted, and how seriously she took herself and how she stated she hates skinny Jessica Simpson because she's fat by Paris' assy standards?
ReplyDeleteStacey
Seriously. That would be a good series. I wonder if anyone's inquired? By the way, why hasn't anyone done an "America's Next Top Poet Laureate" series? I mean, aside from the fact that only a weirdie like me would watch it? Can't you see the breath-taking challenges? Sestina one week, terza rima the next? Gold.
ReplyDelete"Remember last year when Tina Fey went on Stern and ripped her a new one?"
ReplyDeleteNo, actually I don't. I keep meaning to make notes of everything ever said on Howard Stern's show, but since he doesn't appeal to people who can read or write, no one ever makes transcripts to send me. And nothing on earth could make me listen to him.
Paris was whining to reporters today about how she doesn't deserve to go to jail, which only proves she needs to go, as she has not learned her, or indeed any, lesson, or how to read, or write, or think, etc., etc.
If it wasn't for people like Paris life would be d u l l I say let her go free. We need her wit, charm, sex appeal, talent and humor to briten up our day. Hell get her drunk and give her the keys to a tank. Maybe they can get Nicole to ride shotgun and make another reality show of it. They can call it "The Pedestrian Life". The rules are... she has to drink a pint of top shelf vodka, then climes into a tank with Nicole and earns gas money if she makes it down the block without hitting anybody. Of course, we all know Paris and Nicole, something wacky is bound to happen. Hell, we can even make the judge that sentence her to 45 days as one of the pedestrian crossing the street while she and Nicole tries to drive by. Now that's hot!
ReplyDeletecheck out www.junkytrunkboutique.com and buy the great Paris tank top. "property of Los Angles county jail and on the back it says "Paris Hilton"
ReplyDeleteFor a bit of Paris humor, I wrote a fun post on my blog about Paris Hilton…stop by and check it out:
ReplyDeletehttp://rickrockhill.blogspot.com/2007/06/dr-wang-channels-conrad-hilton-beyond.html