Tonys SOPRANOS

SPOILER ALERT!!!
Since the final SOPRANOS and TONY AWARDS were on the same night and both were so similar in theme and presentation, I thought I’d review them together.

As usual, the TONYS were the only awards show where no one thanked their wives.

You KNEW David Chase would do an ending nobody expected. But I thought it was going to be Bob Newhart springing up in bed telling Emily he had this really weird dream and Emily telling him to lay off the Lincoln log sandwiches before bed.

I was happy SPRING AWAKENING won. I saw it a year ago when it played in a dingy church in the village. Call me psychic but even then I knew, simulated sex and nudity would find an audience.

Things don’t look good for the SOPRANOS. But I choose to believe Tony noticed the guy going into the bathroom, shot him coming out. A.J. went on to produce CLEAVER II: THE MIDDLE EAST. Meadow became a prosecutor in New York and joined the cast of LAW & ORDER in 2017. Carmela and her dad got the building contract for the new Yankee Stadium. Tony settled his differences with the New York families but declared war on the New York Psychoanalytic Association, and Uncle Junior became a presidential advisor.

I miss Hugh Jackman.

At least Mr. Broadway himself was there, CBS newsman Harry Smith.

Who deserved to be shot more – Phil Leotardo or that JOURNEY’S END producer who wore Scotch plaid pants? Phil at least you could forgive for a few things.

Christina Applegate, with her short blond hair and tight green dress looked like Tinkerbell while her co-presenter, Neil Patrick Harris looked like Peter Pan. Neil is maybe the only male who could ever play that part.

The TONYS were shown on the west coast with a three hour delay but considering the speed of sound, we in LA still learned the results before those sitting in the back row of Radio City Music Hall.

Heidi Klum loves CATS. What a shock! And speaking of cats…

Was the cat at the safe house “pussy”? Some theorize it was Adrianna. But if she didn’t disguise herself doing JOEY I don’t know why she would now.

I thought THE SOPRANOS brought Pussy back but it was only Marvin Hamlisch at the Tonys.

LES MISERABLES is now a revival. Don’t you have to close for like at least a week to be considered a revival?

During that medley of closed musicals I thought, "Just come back Thursday. You could still win something."

Randy Thomas is the best off-stage announcer in the biz. She’s the first person EVER on national television to pronounce Billy Crudup’s name correctly.

THE COAST OF UTOPIA was a worthy winner for Best Play. At least 7 of its 9 hours were fantastic.

Did you notice that all the bad things on THE SOPRANOS started happening AFTER they killed Tim Daly, the screenwriter? Bad mojo. This is the only power the WGA has.

This was the year of actors portraying real people. Frank Langella as Nixon, Christine Ebersole as Edith Bouvier Beale & “Little” Edie Beale, and Ashley Brown as Mary Poppins.

Why are there no metal detectors at Holtsen’s Ice Cream Parlor? Especially at night?

I wonder how well this line went over in Alabama? Harvey Firestein said, “I wish I had a nickel for every time I gave it to an actor.” There were even some “Yikes” from the Tony audience.

12.8 million tickets were sold this season on Broadway. 11.2 of them for THE LION KING and MAMA MIA.

Those four-wheel drive SUV’s are perfect for rolling over and crushing a gangster’s head.

And that scene wasn’t nearly as stomach churning as the number from MARY POPPINS.

It’s hard to watch Fantasia sing on television without a phone number on the screen.

How important are the Tony Awards to CBS when they don’t even show them in HD? Although, considering all the face work of the presenters and winners, the Tony committee might have requested no HD.

“Don’t Stop” by Steve Perry expressed the thoughts of everyone watching that last scene of THE SOPRANOS. At least hang on until Meadow ordered.

Hey, my buddy Paul Kreppel won! Congratulations, Paul.

Not one audience shot of Les Moonves in the entire TONY broadcast. I thought, “Wait a minute. Is this not the TONYS?” And then a winner mentioned Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall and I knew I was in the right place.

Ohmygod, A.J. has the same job my daughter has this summer. And in a further coincidence, she too wants to own a nightclub.

David Hyde Pierce is a national comic treasure.

Great seeing he and Bebe Neuwirth together on stage. My partner and I wrote the FRASIER where they slept together. How lucky for us that we could write for two such gifted performers.

Making Paulie the captain of the construction business was like putting a certain former head of the Texas Rangers into the White House.

Julie White won the TONY for “Best Impersonation of a Harriet Harris” performance. She was very funny in THE LITTLE DOG LAUGHED. Probably funnier than her fellow nominees Vanessa Redgrave and Angela Lansbury.

Has Frank Vincent (Phil Leotardo) ever NOT been shot to death in any show or movie he’s ever been in? Even home movies.

When they say everybody has “a little Broadway” in them, is that just a euphemism?

All in all, I thought the TONYS were entertaining and THE SOPRANOS fascinating (infuriating but fascinating). HBO reaches only a fraction of the country while CBS blankets the nation. I bet THE SOPRANOS had triple the audience of THE TONYS. Maybe that’s why Les Moonves wasn’t there. Even he was watching to see if Tony got whacked.