Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentine's Day

Most guys don’t love Valentine’s Day. It’s a holiday designed to trap them. If you’re dating more than one woman, you’re dead. If you get the wrong gift, you’re dead. If the gift is too cheap or too elaborate, you’re dead. If you get her a humorous card with Bush on the front you’re dead (although in that case you deserve to be).

Or worse, they love the gift and card too much. Then you’re REALLY dead.

My problem with Valentine’s Day is that it’s also my birthday. Try going out to a nice celebration dinner when every restaurant is packed, all the prices are jacked way up, and everyone is trying so hard to create a “romantic atmosphere” that when their date isn’t looking they’re popping Lexapros like Tic Tacs.

Still, not to be a cynic I would like to offer this touching love song as my way of saying Happy Valentine's Day.


Video thumbnail. Click to play
Click To Play
at

48 comments :

  1. Bitter Animator2/14/2008 12:40 AM

    Happy Birthday Mr.L!

    Yeah, as a man, I loathe Valentine's Day and have already had several rants about it this morning.

    Hope you have a great birthday in spite of the crowds!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sergio Barrejón2/14/2008 1:22 AM

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2/14/2008 2:23 AM

    Congratulations! Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2/14/2008 2:51 AM

    Happy birthday. I will mostly be bloggin tonight. Oh woe is me?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2/14/2008 3:43 AM

    Fuck Valentine's Day! Ken Levine Day all the way!

    My day off from work today, so I'll watch a few of your M*A*S*H episodes in your honor.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2/14/2008 5:54 AM

    I made some heart warming valentine's that are sure to say "I love you" the right way.

    http://dcovideo.dco1.com/seasontwo/valentines/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tom Quigley2/14/2008 6:02 AM

    Ken,

    Happy Birthday! -- Oh, and just for a joke, I'd send you a dozen roses -- but the price of those things is higher than gasoline on St. Valentine's day....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2/14/2008 6:07 AM

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Beth Ciotta2/14/2008 6:17 AM

    So are you dead? ;)

    Happy Birthday, Ken! Have have fantastic/romantic day/night!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2/14/2008 6:21 AM

    I'm sure you must have realized that you can rearrange the letters in Valentine and spell Levine.

    Happy Levine's Day.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mary Stella2/14/2008 6:21 AM

    Happy Birthday, Ken! So, you get to give AND receive.

    Ahh, Valentine's Day. Single people who aren't dating anyone hate it, too.

    But I'm not bitter. No, not me. I love celebrating on days that commemorate martyred saints and executed gangsters.

    Did you see AOL's list of tv's most romantic couples? Sam and Diane were voted #1.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous2/14/2008 6:26 AM

    Happy birthday, Ken.
    But who gets Valentines Day off from work? Those It's Just Lunch girls?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jake Hollywood2/14/2008 6:36 AM

    Happy Birthday, Ken. This is your 39th, right?

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Curmudgeon2/14/2008 6:50 AM

    Happy Birthday to you, Mr. Levine.

    Today is also my Older Daughter's birthday; she's 24.

    And, of course, today is also the anniversary of the birth of the Waukegan Wonder -- Jack Benny. He'd be 39, too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Unknown2/14/2008 7:15 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LouOCNY2/14/2008 7:17 AM

    Happy Birthday Ken!!!

    Many thanks for all the joy you have given so many over the years1

    And kudos to curmudgeon for remembering Mr Benny...

    ReplyDelete
  17. R.A. Porter2/14/2008 7:24 AM

    Happy Birthday, Ken!

    ReplyDelete
  18. J-Money2/14/2008 7:29 AM

    Happy Birthday! I understand that pitchers & catchers will be reporting for the occasion.

    As a gift to you, there may be some baysbawl news that doesn't concern Roger Clemens' ass.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Emily Blake2/14/2008 7:33 AM

    I prefer to call it "Singles Awareness Day."

    I'm going to be popping chocolate all day long just so I don't get depressed.

    And also, you know, happy birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Scott2/14/2008 7:42 AM

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  21. VP819552/14/2008 7:45 AM

    I'm sure Ken likes that he shares a birthday with Jack Benny (cue "Love In Bloom") -- after all, few comedians appreciated writers more than Benny.

    Happy birthday, Ken.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous2/14/2008 8:18 AM

    Happy Birthday Ken, and you should give credit where's it's due. The comic panel is from .

    ReplyDelete
  23. maven2/14/2008 8:20 AM

    Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's Day, Ken!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous2/14/2008 8:43 AM

    Happy Vaseline's Day...

    oh.

    Nevermind.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jason Sanders2/14/2008 9:23 AM

    Happy B-Day Mr. Levine!

    ReplyDelete
  26. david golbitz2/14/2008 9:55 AM

    Happy Birthday, good sir. Love the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  27. gwangung2/14/2008 9:59 AM

    Bah! Humbug!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Richard Cooper2/14/2008 10:19 AM

    I hope you get a big king cake with a toy baby in it... wait, that's for Mardi Gras. I hope you get a big pink cake with a toy heart-shaped something something in it. Okay, I give up. Happy Birthday, anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous2/14/2008 10:23 AM

    My husband turned that Valentine's Day trap into a plus. He proposed on that day, so that he would never get trapped having to remember what day he proposed. I thought it was brilliant.

    Happy Birthday Ken. Been a pleasure reading your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  30. MrCarlson2/14/2008 11:39 AM

    Happy birthday Ken, and many more. It's been nice hanging around here.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Roger Owen Green2/14/2008 11:44 AM

    this was my birthday present to you - I changed your birthday on wikipedia from February 2 to February 14. (it was right on TV.com and IMDB)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Omnibabe2/14/2008 11:49 AM

    Birthday greetings from Chicago!

    ReplyDelete
  33. m.2/14/2008 12:16 PM

    On this very special day I'm gonna make an exception to my no-comments rule to wish you a very happy birthday. Fuck love and friendship, it's Ken Levine Day!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous2/14/2008 12:20 PM

    Wow, if your parents had named you Nathan instead of Kenneth, you'd be Nat Levine, which is an anagram of Valentine. Too bad they didn't think of that (probably had other stuff on their mind that day).

    Happy Birthday to all those here (Ken, Florence Henderson, Simon Pegg, Meg Tilly, Teller, Freddie Highmore, Carl Bernstein, Maceo Parker, Alan Parker, Hugh Downs, Pat O'Brien), gone (Vic Morrow, Murray the K, Lois Maxwell, Edward Platt) and presumed gone (Jimmy Hoffa).

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous2/14/2008 1:31 PM

    Happy b-day Ken, and it could have been worse -- I refused to be pried out of my mom's womb for six hours so I'd make sure I wasn't born on April Fool's Day (they yanked me out at Mount Siani in New York, but I added the extra three hours just in case mom somehow ended up in California for the delivery).

    After seeing the way a couple of not-as-foresighted classmates fared who did have to put up with the April Fool's birthday abuse, I'm very comfortable with my decision, even if it did mean a few extra hours of labor pains.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Alice2/14/2008 2:14 PM

    Happy Birthday. As a birthday gift/ offer on something you wrote on another post, if you're ever in Mexico City I can take you driving around. I know great places you can get honked at by taxi drivers and buses ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous2/14/2008 2:34 PM

    First comment. Long time reader. My birthday too- I feel your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous2/14/2008 2:54 PM

    don't worry, Steak & BJ Day is in one month.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous2/14/2008 6:56 PM

    To the Anonymous above me...are you from Boston? I know the morning radio show I listen to there (my homebase) has "A Steak and a You-Know-What Day" running gag (a public service announcement performed by a faux Peter Graves).

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous2/14/2008 7:17 PM

    And I thought my birthday on April first was bad. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Mike McCann2/14/2008 8:43 PM

    To add to the list submitted by jbryant, your birthday buds also include Teller, Steve Tisch and New York mayor Mike Bloomberg.

    The following link shows all the major league baseball players born on February 14th. Not only were no legends or stars born on this date, one might be hard pressed to name the best player who shares the birthday of Ken and Mel Allen.

    http://www.baseball-reference.com/friv/birthdays.cgi?date=02-14

    I'll go with Dave Deavecky...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Michael Jones2/14/2008 10:19 PM

    I have the opposite problem, I can't find a restaurant (besides Denny's) that's open on my Christmas birthday.
    Best wishes on YOUR day!

    ReplyDelete
  43. By Ken Levine2/15/2008 8:57 AM

    Thanks to everybody for your lovely birthday wishes. And now that Valentine's Day is over we can concentrate on the really important holidays like President's Day.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Scribe LA2/15/2008 10:22 AM

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  45. HH2/15/2008 11:58 AM

    Happy Birthday! As a woman, even, I'd much rather celebrate you than dance to the tune of another advertising gimmick that has managed to achieve some kind of cultural guilt-inducing status that people in good relationships (like mine) don't need. Have a great year!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dwacon2/15/2008 11:07 PM

    I was looking forward to Valentine's day. Even ordered a dozen gold plated roses.

    But caveat emptor, they arrived two days late.

    But on the bright side, we broke up, so I actually saved money.

    Not sure how I saved money. I just reassure myself that I did.

    That being said, anyone want a gold plated rose. Will offer you a good price...

    ReplyDelete
  47. TCinLA2/15/2008 11:16 PM

    Gotcha beat: Wife #1 had a birthday on December 25... try getting that one right, or even in the same universe with right.

    Then there was the girlfriend with a January 1 birthday... a relationship that only lasted one birthday.

    But happy mumble-mumble, oh, hell, just be 39 like Jack Benny.. Happy Birtday (belatedly, which I almost always do with all friends).

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous2/08/2009 2:46 PM

    I know that especially with Valentine's Day right around the corner, I will need all the extra savings I can get so I thought I'd share a site I stumbled across the other day that gives me money when I shop or sell through Ebay and also when I shop major retailers online. It's called Big Crumbs. It's free (of course). Don't we all love a good deal? Check it out: http://www.bigcrumbs.com/crumbs/frontpage.jsp?r=twinklings Happy shopping and saving!

    ReplyDelete

NOTE: Even though leaving a comment anonymously is an option here, we really discourage that. Please use a name using the Name/URL option. Invent one if you must. Be creative. Anonymous comments are subject to deletion. Thanks.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.