Only days away from another edition of the big new Fox hit, MOMENT OF TRUTH. Let’s see whose lives they ruin this week. For the sake of prize money, contestants subject themselves to a lie detector test and must correctly answer terribly personal humiliating questions.
Last Monday night some blonde bimbo married to a guy who looks like Fogell from SUPERBAD admitted that she’s cheated on her husband (they’ve been married all of two years) and she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend and would rather be married to him. Oh, and the punchline: she then lost all her money answering a question untruthfully. The question: Do you still think you’re a good person? Her answer: Yes.
HORN BLAST! NO! YOU LOSE!
So as a public service of this blog (and you know I’m all about public service) here is a test. If you’re thinking of becoming a contestant for MOMENT OF TRUTH you must be able to answer all of these correctly. (spoiler alert: the correct answer to all of them is True.) Good luck.
TRUE OR FALSE?
I will do anything for money.
I consider myself a whore.
I will destroy my marriage for cab fare.
I will sell my children for whiskey.
I believe the world was formed 200 years ago.
I have sex with animals…usually at their request.
I believe everything our government says.
I go to Oriental massage parlors for massages.
My favorite author is Teri Hatcher.
My recreational drug of choice is steroids.
I have a child who’s also a sibling. Maybe two.
I voted for Sanjaya…for president.
I have an ear wax fetish.
I am too stupid to live.
If you get 100% it’s (a) the first time that’s ever happened for you, and (b) time to contact the producers and make your fortune… that you’ll probably trade away for a bag of magic beans.
Ken, you outdid yourself on this one! I almost fell out of my chair laughing! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteYes, Ken, you outdid yourself - promoting another piece of garbage from the garbage network. I cannot understand how anyone could watch anything Rupert Murdoch puts on the air. Fox should have it's FCC license pulled for the good of the country - I consider him the biggest terrorist of all.
ReplyDeleteShame on you, Ken, for promoting American Idol the way you do. More garbage designed to dumb down America. Are you being paid by Fox to do this?
Anonymous. Leave your name or your comment will be deleted.
ReplyDeleteI promote AMERICAN IDOL because the show amuses me. I did not promote it during the strike on principle. But the strike is over and my little blog is not going to influence the ratings in any possible way.
And I hardly think I'm "promoting" THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.
But at the end of the day this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want. I don't get paid for this so my one perk is creative freedom. And you're free to find bloggers you agree with more.
So everybody wins.
Not so fast, Ken. You may notice that Fogell made his own prior confession of infidelity in Jimmy Kimmel’s I’m F8#k&*g Ben Affleck sequel to Sarah Silverman’s celebrated equally courageous I’m F8#k&*g Matt Damon opus (as reprised a week ago on your friend Michael’s www.shouldveaskedme.com blog). You’ll spot McLovin at approx. 05:04 into it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQrBouWRiE
In my humble opinion, one of the many other highlights is Cameron Diaz’s patented wink/grin and interpretation of the lyrics in American sign language approx. 40 sec. after that. Near Spoiler: I could name at least 16 of the other celebrities besides Affleck/Kimmel in the We are the World sendup – beginning with the FedEx delivery guy—but don’t want to spoil that here for anybody.
I applaud your crusade for nymoty, but isn't it sad when somebody can't even think up a fake user name besides "anonymous?" And speaking of McLovin, if I didn't know better I'd suspect this "anonymous" might be your own
MacGuffin just to keep the old juices flowing.
Finally, also from the wonderful world of "sanctimony," next: a one second clip reel of all the non-sanctimonious highlights from Cheaters - a Dallas-based show of which we are oh so very, very proud – that is kicking itself right now because it wishes it had also gone with the lie detector angle.
Is it THAT hard to enter a Name when you leave a reply?
ReplyDeleteI think anonymous posting should be disabled. At least leave a synonym so we can tell the different anonymous people apart.
I don't get the "Not so fast, Ken" reply. A lengthy review of the Jimmy Kimmel skit without previous references. Or did I miss something?
--My favorite author is Teri Hatcher.--
ReplyDeletehey, that Burnt Toast book of hers--all one hundred and three pages with large, double-space type of it--was pure reading heaven!
I thought "The Moment of Truth" was on Wednesdays. I'm pretty sure tonight is the 2-hour Terminator season finale.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to watch Moment of Truth. Yes, I know that the people signed up to appear on the show so they deserve whatever they get, but I don't have the stomach to watch someone's heart ripped out on television. Just seeing the commercials for the episode you blogged about made me sick.
ReplyDeleteThis is where I draw a line on the remote and refuse to cross.
Flamethrower funny!
ReplyDeleteCan TV go any lower? The answer is, "Yes, of course!"
As New Media grows, the pressure to deliver audience increases for the old outlets, so I'm sure we'll see much muckier stuff in the weeks ahead from Murdoch and the rest.
The good news is: it will provide grist for more funny.
Write on!
I only had to watch this mess once, it crosses so many lines it's unbelievable, not funny, not entertaining, just 44 mins of garbage.
ReplyDeleteThe best part of that Moment of Truth episode (yeah, I watched a bit of it) was the host repeatedly saying how he wasn't cool with how low the questions went, even as he was barely concealing a smile at how his "indignity" would bump the ratings even more.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to mention one very important fact due to commenting before the coffee was brewed, this being, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH is what happens when the writers are on strike and creative decisions are left exclusively to studio heads. And some people think the writers are the ones that are to blame for the declining intellect in television...
ReplyDeleteThe only redeeming feature of the blonde women on Moment of Truth. At least they don't moan about always getting asked the first question.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Ken. And mining this TV trash for comedic effect is a good reason for you to watch it. That said, is it really worth exposing your brain cells to such drivel?
ReplyDeleteThe hubby and I couldn't help but watch THE MOMENT OF TRUTH because it was so horrible, much like a 17 car pile up on the nation's busiest highway at rush hour.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that she married him even though she was in love with another man means she's retarded. And then went on FOX show designed to unearth and showcase lies such as hers. Who does that to themself or the family and friends?! What an attention whore. *rolls eyes* Thank gawd for people just like her, though. How else would I get to feel smug and morally superior without them? ;-)
Stacey
ken, you watch so we don't have to.
ReplyDeletefor that public service, sir, i salute you.
i however will always watch american idol. i don't offer any excuses. i like it. it's fun, and we see some talented kids on that show year after year.
Those of you who are too good for the rest of us have an important duty: you MUST watch the trashy shows that you despise. That way, you can take note of and boycott the advertisers. And then you can come here to complain, and as Ken says, everybody wins!
ReplyDeleteWhat I can't understand is why nobody talks about the genius that is America's Next Top Model. I mean, isn't that the cream of reality television?
ReplyDeleteI think so.
I didn't answer yes to any of those questions, except maybe the whiskey one, so I'm pretty happy with that. I'm a good human being.
Like that 17-car pile-up Stacey mentioned, the ads for the first episode of "The Moment of Truth" compelled me to look. How anyone made it to episode two is beyond me. You drive past a pile-up; you don't get out and stare at the carnage. Now I get all the schadenfreude and condescension I need from the promos.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll never understand why noted cultural critics like our very own "anonymous" keep arguing that American Idol is designed to "dumb down" America. It's a singing contest. I know of no correlation between an interest in singing contests and diminished intellectual capacity (if there is one, I guess all America's problems of the previous century can be laid at the feet of Major Bowes, Ted Mack and Arthur Godfrey).
I'm sure it's true that many stupid people watch the show, because stupid people will watch anything (including test patterns, when we had 'em). I enjoy the show, and I like to think I'm pretty smart (note this post's preponderance of ten-dollar words such as schadenfreude, condescension, correlation and preponderance).
Can we just cut to the chase and start televising executions?
ReplyDelete"Fox brings you the ultimate life and death reality series: Needles and Pins! LIVE! TELEVISED! EXECUTIONS!"
And for May sweeps, female live televised executions! Bringing together the drama of televised executions with the titilation of chicks in prison flicks...
I wish I knew who the writer was of the best line about Fox ever...
ReplyDeleteJon Lovitz as the Critic: You're watching Fox. Shame on you!
This has always bothered me. Does it actually matter who watches anything -- if they're not either a Nielsen or Arbitron family (digest or meter)? I don't think the rest of us are counted in any other way, are we?
ReplyDeleteBTW, I was anonymous #2 above today. That'll teach me to anonymize for irony ambiguously.
On a broader note (which I may have to repeat from time to time)...
ReplyDeleteScience Fiction authors may have misfired in predicting flying cars and robo-butlers for the 21st century but boy, have they nailed some social aspects. Satirical pieces that suggested the future would be covered in advertising and entertainment would be mindless voyeurism dressed in inane gaudiness.
Not the predictions I had my hopes pinned on...
My cat likes to eat the wax from my ears, it's the only food he eats other than the dry cat food stuff we give him.
ReplyDeleteNever have I witnessed a better example of a delusional parent than in this travesty of an ep.
ReplyDeleteThis guy should be the poster boy for any and all who would bemoan the decline of our society. As the whore was wrestling with the question that ultimately cost her the fee, pimp daddy kept earnestly nodding his head and mouthing, "You are a good girl. You are good."
This may not have risen to the level of Klinger's romance with the Korean woman, but it was entirely compelling.
Ah, Mr. Levine, I think you missed one. How can you compare the works of Teri Hatcher with he who is TRULY the greatest author of all time...William Shatner. The Tek World um, "novels" were so brilliant...
ReplyDeleteand yes, intended to be funny. no, it probably wasn't...