Saturday, November 29, 2008

How I censored your mother

On most cross-country flights, American Airlines shows "Eye on America", a collection of CBS shows. And they edit out anything horribly objectionable. My son Matt took note of this recently.

On my American flight, they were showing the "Sandcastles in the Sand" episode of How I Met Your Mother. However, this was no ordinary episode. Thanks to American Airlines we got the version that was so heavily censored that Sesame Street probably uses more foul language. Here are the words I noticed were missing from the episode:

Hell
Kill
Heck
Going all the way

And, for the finale, not only was the audio missing from part of the "Sandcastles in the Sand" music video, but the video of Robin's mouth was blurred out so you couldn't see her say the words "let's do it." I'm sure that the 80 year olds who would be offended by these words are exactly the target demographic for HIMYM. Thanks American Airlines!

And thanks to you, Matt. Here's that mock music video (which is hilarious, by the way). 2:33 in is when Robin utters those words so offensive I can't even print them again without my blog being classified again as pornographic.

And speaking of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, I'll be reviewing that show along with the other CBS Monday comedies later in the week.

15 comments :

  1. And speaking of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, I'll be reviewing that show along with the other CBS Monday comedies later in the week.

    There are other comedies on CBS Monday nights?

    Sorry, it was too easy. I am amused by The Big Bang Theory from time to time, but I have to admit, I watch HIMYM online because I TiVo Chuck and watch that instead.

    I'm also oddly amused that the word verification this time is "likette." Is that when "like" is too strong a word?

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  2. Yay! Comedy reviews!

    Can't wait to hear what you think about Chuck Lorre's new gem (although I am currently a bit miffed that the show gets more and more Sheldon-centric).

    Did you get his recent vanity card about the fires in the Hollywood Hills?

    Don't forget to mention that both female leads on HIMYM are now pregnant IRL and what you thought about the "Naked Man" episode... don't forget, 2 out of 3 times it works.

    Oh and thanks Matt for your input too :-)

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  3. They are so worried about offending the blue noses; why aren't they worried about offending those of us who find having our TV pre-chewed and disgested for us offensive. I am HIGHLY offfended by censorship. But I don't count apparently.

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  4. In fairness to CBS, if offended old people start boycotting the network, they'd lose about 85 percent of their viewership.

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  5. There are other comedies on CBS Monday nights?

    Sorry, it was too easy.


    Yes, it was easy, but it still amuses...and is very true.

    I'm personally offended by the fact that they edited one of the greatest fake songs from one the greatest fake albums ever (hey, I'd totally buy "Make It Sparkle" if they ever made it).

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  6. As Robin said, the '80s didn't arrive in Canada until '93.

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  8. How old are the future-kids in the framing device? I haven't seen any of the episodes where they use it.

    No matter what, it's a little weird to tell your children stories about your sleazy friend's (Neil Patrick Harris) sexual exploits.

    "So my buddy Barney, you remember him, he decides he's going to bang this cougar! You know what a cougar is, right? Some old chick who likes banging young dudes!"

    I just hope they're not six year olds.

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  9. The biggest offence towards this show is the Season 1 DVD set.

    Its aspect ratio is 4:3.

    Yes you heard me right. A show that is filmed in HD is brought to the viewer on DVD in brilliant FULL SCREEN.

    Even though it's packed with extras I still couldn't bring myself to buying it on Black Friday when Amazon had a fire sale for Season 1 and 2. I simply can't. 4:3 is an abomination.

    AND they changed all the songs to ones that don't generate royalties.

    Damn this makes me angry again. So angry. I could take that on Dawson's Creek (they changed the title song there!) but man this makes me angry. f***ing copyrights.

    On a sidenote I was able to get "Standup Comedy" (the book) for only 6 Euro as a used copy via Amazon and it arrived yesterday. Now I'll try to get your book too, Ken :-)

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  10. Belated greetings from American Airlines’ hub headquarters in Dallas.

    Apparently they do and insufficient job of informing the flying public that, for an extra $11 you can not only obtain the semblance of a headrest device, prophylactically sheathed in gossamer pillowcase, but, the unredacted soundtrack to One Tree Hill on Channel 8.

    It is also commonly recognized that the public’s mistrust of the phrase “going all the way,” when heard aboard a common carrier is the number one trigger for an inebriated passenger going postal, assaulting a flight attendant and overturning a beverage cart, before being restrained by other passengers and taken into custody by Homeland Security upon arrival in Cincinnati.

    I also want you to know that having not commented recently is no reflection on how much your blog remains enjoyed and appreciated. It’s just that the last minute haste to reschedule all of our Thanksgiving weekend Mumbai and Bangkok travel plans and the postprandial impressions of a reclining anaconda, pants unzipped, attempting to digest that 130 lb. capybara recently swallowed whole, has necessitated a more passive experience than traditional.

    All the more befuddling since ours, by accident of marriage, for half of us, remains traditionally a Vegan experience, in preparation for the following day’s annual “Fur Free Friday” picket line at Neiman’s (A suggestion hazarded that this outbreak of sloth might reasonably be attributed to the L-Tryptophan, was of course greeted with the unanimous response, “From what?”) Thankfully our son Tyler was able to score some actual birdmatter+gravy from underworld associates. Around here that has a street value of approximately $300, even in this economy.

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  11. A few years back, I watched the inflight version of Mystery, Alaska and thought it was a fun family movie, so I recommended it to my brother as something he and my young nephews might enjoy.

    They rented it, saw the R rating but figured that since I recommended it, all must be okay.

    I haven't flown on a lot of flights that offer movies. So, I didn't know that the movies shown on planes are censored. Nothing like recommending a movie filled with the f-bomb, adulterous sex scenes, and other not-so-family-fare.

    A hockey movie and Russell Crowe. I should have known better.

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  12. Oh my god! Someone please tell me the name of the robot toy we can see at 1:32 in the video! I had it when I was a kid and I had forgotten all about it!

    Anyone else remembers that toy?

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  13. How old are the future-kids in the framing device?
    ______________________________________________
    The kids are teenagers.

    As far as Robin Sparkles songs, I prefer "Let's Go to the Mall" over "Sandcastles in the Sand!" Mostly because it's the first we see of Robin's secret life and the reaction of everyone else is just priceless.

    Better still though is Marshall's "You Just Got Slapped!"

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  14. Oh and that robot toy is the Omnibot 2000!

    http://www.nostalgiaholic.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/omnibot2000.jpg

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  15. I'm thrilled that you are going be doing comedy reviews. I've often thought that that would be a great idea for your blog, but the thought of making a creative suggestion to Mr. Ken Levine seemed ridiculous to me, so I never mentioned it here.

    I'm very much looking forward to this.

    Maybe you can do 30 Rock or "Earl" next?

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