Here’s what I did. I enlisted five judges. They each selected their top ten. Based on entries that got multiple votes I tried to put together the top five. But there were just too many. So here’s the good news. I will have two winners – each receives the same stupendous prize (a signed copy of MIDNIGHT, one of my better failed pilot scripts!!). But that means more work for you guys. You’ll have to vote twice. The first five compete for a grand prize today. The next five next week. Good luck and out of 800+ entries, here is today’s heat.
1. Veyhoo -- A Yiddish web search site.
2. Meway -- Popeye’s closing number in his Vegas show.
3. Prock – totally useless hybrid of two words that already mean the same thing.
4. Bimeca – The border area between California and Mexico. Noted for its loft apartments, trendy eateries, film festival and raging drug war.
5. Hutdo – What Jabba got at the barbershop.
The poll is open. And closes midnight Sunday PST. In case of a tie Al Franken will determine the winner. Just click on your choice below. One vote per person. But you're welcome to keep checking the results. I must admit, I do every five minutes.
Thanks again to everyone who did and/or will now participate. I love you people.
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ReplyDeleteI thought bimeca would be the holy city Lindsay Lohan, Anne Heche and Andy Dick would pilgrim to if they were Shitte.
ReplyDelete#4 Bimeca gets my vote
ReplyDeleteWho knew there was a "POLLDADDY?" How cool.
ReplyDeleteI had to throw my vote to Hutdo because I almost had Diet Coke coming out my nose when I read it. It just cracked me up for some reason. Perhaps my brain is frozen or snow addled. But it did amuse me.
ReplyDeleteThough I was close to voting for Prock was well.
You need to have a choice of none of the above. There were several that were much better.
ReplyDeleteI must be a moron. I don't get prock. Can someone explain it to me? It's a dirty word, right? Right? I did it meway.
ReplyDeletenone of the above, sorry.
ReplyDeleteTo Ken and the intrepid judges, thank you for all the time and energy you put into the contest.
ReplyDeleteI knew it was too much to hope that nobody would criticize the five that were chosen as finalists for this heat.
Oh, how fitting, a word verification that stymies me: jeciuqsq. Hmm. Unless it's a little known location in Poughkeepsie called Jeciuq Square.
I vote "prock" my own bad self.
ReplyDeleteAlas, NOW I get a glorious word verification word: "dispimp" which is the antonym of "datpimp."
Prock. A dirty joke, yes, but a highly LITERATE dirty joke.
ReplyDeletepithymn: I think that pretty much sums up this contest.
Good picks. Two of those really cracked me up when I read them. It was hard to choose between the two.
ReplyDeleteWell the Jewish vote will gor for #1 and the gay vote will go for #3, and the Jewish gay vote will go for #5.
ReplyDeleteMy WV now is stfutie, the useless saint.
HEY! When I tried to vote a second, fifth and tenth time, the tallies didn't change and it snottily said "We have already recorded YOUR vote." Adding an implied "This isn't Cook County."
ReplyDeleteWhat is this crap? One man, one vote? Did I wake up today in RUSSIA?
A FAIR election? Boy, we didn't do that back in my punchline contest days.
Harumph!
I like Wayne's def of Bimeca better than the one in the contest.
ReplyDeleteWV: deater. Someone having a meal in Brooklyn.
D. McEwan asked:
ReplyDeleteWhat is this crap? One man, one vote? Did I wake up today in RUSSIA?
Nah, you just didn't wake up in Florida like I did. I voted twice with no difficulty.
wv: ookepili -- Inhaling helium and then singing without musical accompaniment.
Wait, you don't get prock or you don't get enough prock? I'm sooo confused.
ReplyDeleteThey are all fine. We'd expect nothing less, and remember, it's a privilege just to be nominated.
But here's one Jew voting straight prock -- although in the tradition of our people, we'll have to take a little hutdo off the top. Meway struck me funny, but requiring less dexterity than #3, so I voted Calvinistically.
Re: Cook County, or at least the state it's in. I'm for letting the Fonz sell that senate seat, but then donate the receipts to the Chrysler Corporation. Win-win.
And btw, have we got the makings of a summer replacement game show here -- or is this already on one of those cable channels I don't get?
ReplyDelete3 contestants. Spin for random scrambled letters. Each writes definition privately, then all appear on the front of the rostrum like on Jeopardy. Audience votes for most creative or funniest. Can go to tiebreaker or several.
Winner gets the Samsonite luggage, the Amana Free-of-frost Refrigerator with automatic icemaker, the eight piece setting of Fiestaware, and the trip to Puerta Vallarta. (What can I say, still stuck in the 60s.)
And we could have "celebrity" Daffynitions, if only Orson Bean were 60 years younger....
If the one I voted for doesn't win I'm out of here. And no, I'm not telling you which one. It's so obviously funnier than the rest I shouldn't have to say anything.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, now you give me a softball verification word like "emuzed?" The whole week of the contest all I got was variations of "phrlnb." No, I'm not at all "emuzed."
OK, if you must have a hint, it's the one that makes absolutely no sense. Got it now?
Ken,
ReplyDeleteHow long will the vote be open for this round? I need to know when I should start lobbying if things don't seem to be going the right way?
(And to avoid any doubts - Ken already knows this, but nobody else would - I don't have an entry in this contest. My interest is solely the proper recognition of artistic excellence.)
Voting ends at midnight Sunday California time. The next round begins early in the week.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to all the finalists. Congrats also to the judges who narrowed down 800 entries and then dumped it onto Ken to figure out what to do with them.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I loved all the entries that went the unexpected route, and there were a lot of very clever ones.
Whoever wins I hope you look forward to not only a great prize, but also your very own clan of anonymous detractors.
A. Buck Short said:
ReplyDeleteWinner gets the Samsonite luggage, the Amana Free-of-frost Refrigerator with automatic icemaker, the eight piece setting of Fiestaware, and the trip to Puerta Vallarta. (What can I say, still stuck in the 60s.)
I'm holding out for the gift certificate from Michael C. Fina.
Bummer. My wv is an actual word. Mister. A person who runs around misting plants. Dialogue from the Deep South: "I ran on over to find 'er, but I mister."
I like Veyhoo myself.
ReplyDelete(Wv: Nogentl - the story of Yentl's younger brother, who defied family tradition to become a Trekkie.)
Oh, great. Polldaddy is down -- that sounds like gang-war lingo, I know -- and now I can't vote with the frequency I had hoped.
ReplyDelete(Still, since I live in FL, that means my vote may be "recounted" and magically become three.)
P.S. My WVW is "nessemsh" which is how you get the nessem to be quiet.
Polldaddy is Mrs. Gallup's pet name for the hubby.
ReplyDeletePopeye singing in a niteclub was too funny. Like Elmer Fudd singing "Lola" by the Kinks.
ReplyDelete