****
Among the health-insurance upgrades demanded by Philadelphia-area transit workers and agreed to by the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority in November was removal of the 10-tablet-per-month rationing of Viagra and similar medications, to allow as many as 30 per month (according to a Philadelphia Daily News report). (The final contract, reportedly even more beneficial to the union, was being voted on by union members at press time.)
Among the health-insurance upgrades demanded by Philadelphia-area transit workers and agreed to by the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority in November was removal of the 10-tablet-per-month rationing of Viagra and similar medications, to allow as many as 30 per month (according to a Philadelphia Daily News report). (The final contract, reportedly even more beneficial to the union, was being voted on by union members at press time.)
*******
When police in Brimfield, Ohio, stopped Jaime Aguirre, 42, for a traffic violation in October, they found some conventional photos of nude and near-nude women, but were especially surprised at a stash of x-rays and mammograms, which they supposed came from Aguirre's job as technician at an imaging center in Tiffin, Ohio. The Brimfield police chief said he believed the stash was used by Aguirre for sexual gratification, and since some of the x-rays and mammograms were of girls under the age of 18, Aguirre was charged with possession of child pornography.
****
In Ogden, Utah, in October, Adam Manning, 30, accompanied his pregnant girlfriend to the McKay-Dee Hospital emergency room as she was going into labor. According to witnesses, as a nurse attended to the woman, Manning began flirting with her, complimenting the nurse's looks and giving her neck rubs. When Manning then allegedly groped the nurse's breast, she called for security, and Manning was eventually arrested and taken to jail, thus missing the birth of his child.
In Ogden, Utah, in October, Adam Manning, 30, accompanied his pregnant girlfriend to the McKay-Dee Hospital emergency room as she was going into labor. According to witnesses, as a nurse attended to the woman, Manning began flirting with her, complimenting the nurse's looks and giving her neck rubs. When Manning then allegedly groped the nurse's breast, she called for security, and Manning was eventually arrested and taken to jail, thus missing the birth of his child.
****
Thousands of airline passengers continue to attempt to bring prohibited carry-on items on board. The New York Post reported in September that the Transportation Security Administration had confiscated 123,000 items so far this year from just the three main airports serving New York City. Included were 43 explosives, 1,600 knives, a 10-point deer antler, several fire extinguishers, a tree branch, nunchucks, a grill, a baby alligator, "unwashed adult toys," a gassed-up chain saw and a kitchen sink.
Thousands of airline passengers continue to attempt to bring prohibited carry-on items on board. The New York Post reported in September that the Transportation Security Administration had confiscated 123,000 items so far this year from just the three main airports serving New York City. Included were 43 explosives, 1,600 knives, a 10-point deer antler, several fire extinguishers, a tree branch, nunchucks, a grill, a baby alligator, "unwashed adult toys," a gassed-up chain saw and a kitchen sink.
****
Andrew Burwitz, 20, was arrested in Appleton, Wis., in November and charged with two drive-by shootings. No one was hit, and the major damage was done to Burwitz's car, in that Burwitz fired the first shot before he remembered to roll down the window.
Happy headline writing, comedy scribes.
Andrew Burwitz, 20, was arrested in Appleton, Wis., in November and charged with two drive-by shootings. No one was hit, and the major damage was done to Burwitz's car, in that Burwitz fired the first shot before he remembered to roll down the window.
Happy headline writing, comedy scribes.
Transit Workers Drive "Hard" Bargain.
ReplyDeleteIt's What's Inside That Counts for Unusual Porn Collector
Dad Misses Birth Over Attempt to Make Second Child
As Long As They're Clean, You're Clear to Board
In Case of Delinquency, Break Glass
Ditz Burwitz blows window to bitz in attempted hitz.
ReplyDeletePhilly transit workers sing the blues over contract.
ReplyDeleteUnion Benefits Extended
ReplyDeleteManning's Pass Incomplete
'Beauty more than skin deep' police allege
ReplyDeleteSEPTA APPROVES TRANSIT WORKERS DAILY DIDDLE
ReplyDeleteX-RAY-TED BUSTS GET TECH BUSTED
TRANSIT WORKERS PILLS SEIZED IN UTAH HOSPITAL
ANTLERS NOW A DANGEROUS WEAPON
COPS SEES INCREASE IN DRIVE-BY IDIOTS
Transit Workers Win Hard One!
ReplyDeleteOhio Man Found Jonesing for Bones
ReplyDeleteOrigin Discovered of Slang Term "Boner"
New Pickup Line: Hey Nursy, what Are You Doing After You Deliver My Baby?
Adam Manning Awarded Nobel Prize in Animal Science for Proving Once and For All That Men Are Pigs
Police Now Realize that "Adam Manning," Arrested in October, Was Alias Used by Tiger Woods
NSA Workers Protest Christmas Bonuses of Knives and Grilled Alligator Bits; Ask Instead for Daily Viagra
Union Members on the Rise.
ReplyDeleteCall Your Doctor If Train Delay Lasts More Than 4 Hours
ReplyDeleteX-Rays of Defendant's Brain Show Nothing
How I Mortified Your Mother
Unfortunately, the 3 French Hens Got Past Them
The Good News: He Has Endorsement Deal With Windex
Transit Workers May Come Daily
ReplyDeletePhizer is no miser with favorite blue pill.
ReplyDeleteUnion contract Lifts Wokers
ReplyDeleteArrest of boob leads to stolen x-rays
Clueless Man Allowed to Breed
Feds confiscate Cliche at Airport
Do-it-yourself-Gangster Regrets Frugality
Correction: Headline should read "Arrest of boob leads to stolen mammograms"
ReplyDeleteUnion Boners May Delay Morning Commute
ReplyDeleteSex-Ray Tech Nipped In Mammo Grand Theft
Man Delivers Grope To Maternity Nurse
Hatfields and McCoys Take First Airplane Ride
Local Car Outwits Carjacker
Aguirre bones on bones
ReplyDeleteI'm voting for Troy; he seems to have the hed-line nature.
ReplyDeleteacest: having sex with letters.
Transit Workers Seek Help Entering Tunnels
ReplyDeletePhiladelphia transit worker," Look no hands!"
ReplyDeletewith thanks to my better half, Ross Angus
Well for the first story, two spring to mind:
ReplyDeletePhilly Transit Workers Wives Protest Against Planned Changes to Award.
Tiger Woods Plans to become a Philly Transit Worker.
Stiff raise in Septa contract
ReplyDeletePerv wanted to jump her bones
Irresistible Big Mam at McKay-Dee's
Nun chucks nunchucks, gets on plane
Drive-and-Shoot downside discovered
More Viagra for Philly transit workers:
ReplyDelete"Taking the el on the Broad Street Line'
(As a former Philadelphia-are resident, I know that prostitution is rampant near the eastern end of the Market-Frankford El, so I guess SEPTA wants to make sure its workers are ready. Although increasing the supply of condoms would have been wiser...and safer.)
Tables are not only turned but lifted with no hands as labor stiffs management in contract talks
ReplyDeleteLab technician caught checking for lumps now about to take his lumps in jail
Pervert tries to breast feed and misses child’s birth
Depressed Wisconsin man said it was “too cold” for proper drive-by, says he will move to Los Angeles
Transit Workers Can Stick It to Anyone
ReplyDeleteTraffic Stop Yields More Boobs than Hooters, Including Suspect
Man Fondles Nurse, Has Baby Same Night
Use That Kitchen Sink to Wash Adult Toys Before Boarding
Clean Window Means Clear Ecidence in Shooting
or Lower your window before you unload your gun. CBS cares.
Local Man Pulls Drive By on Self
Union improves ability to improve union
ReplyDeletePervert, yes; superficial, no
Man arrested for groping delivery nurse; blames 'bad Lamaze training'
TSA to become eBay Super Seller
Appleton man's unusual car insurance claim denied
New Contract Makes Work Harder on a Daily Basis
ReplyDeleteDelivery Room - The New Pick Up Bar
123,000 Reasons You're Late for Your Flight
In Case of Drive-By, Break Glass
fark.com ----->
ReplyDeleteSo let me get this straight - x-ray pictures of children are considered child pornography, because the police "guesses" he uses them to pleasure himself?
ReplyDeleteThat's so idiotic I would be to embarrassed to even write an article about it, let alone a headline.
Better get rid of your dog's x-rays as soon as possible, you don't want to be charged of beastiality...