The truth about Lady Gaga

When Andy Kaufman died so young there were many who believed it was all a hoax. This was just the sort of absurd thing he would do. Andy was labeled a “comedian” but what he really was was a “performance artist”. The idea wasn’t to make you laugh, it was to make him laugh at you for buying into his elaborate ruses. He would assume bizarre characters and amuse himself watching the reaction he received from the gullible public. One such character was Tony Clifton, a belligerent sleazeball lounge singer. Clifton would come on and insult the audience for forty-five minutes. At first they thought it was a bit but eventually they got pissed. To Andy this was high hilarity.

Andy later turned to professional wrestling and began wrestling women on stage. Everything he did was weird and theatrical. You never knew, was he real or a put-on? All during his years starring on the hit sitcom TAXI he bussed tables on Wednesday nights at Jerry’s Deli in the Valley.

So it comes as no surprise that when he died of cancer at age 35, many people believed this too was just another sick stunt.

Well, it turns out they were right. After laying low for many years Andy Kaufman has returned. And he is once again back in the spotlight. He has created his most genius character ever. Andy now goes by the name – Lady Gaga.

But the act is the same. Dressing in absurd costumes, prancing around the stage with the grace of a Clydesdale, and singing songs that make utterly no sense, Andy is having the last laugh on the world.

Because people are buying it! People actually think Lady Gaga is a great artist. How hard it must have been for him to keep a straight face last week when he/she appeared on AMERICAN IDOL. Andy came out dressed in a bikini with netting, a ridiculous blond wig, raccoon eye makeup, and black veil. He/she was joined by shirtless Chippendales type dancers as they clomped their way through a non-melodious song of sheer drivel while fog swirled at their feet.

And the audience loved it! Bravo, Mr. Kaufman! You have successfully duped an entire generation. Lady Gaga is your masterpiece.

At some point someone is going to figure it out. Someone is going to realize, “Hey, this is bullshit!” But that could be years from now… after you’ve sold three billion CD’s and have become the governor of California. So in the meantime, enjoy it, Andy. Keep wearing Cher’s hand-me-downs, keep writing and singing songs that are complete nonsense, and for Godsakes, keep those fog machines pumping,

I knew it was you, Andy. Last Wednesday night I was in Jerry’s Deli and the woman who collected my dirty plates had a platinum wig, black hat, bejeweled Phantom of the Opera mask, a crow under her chin, and a black feathered gown. Welcome back. We missed you.