How's that for a grabber? Happy to say I'm a contributing columnist to the HuffingtonPost. I love when one of my articles is on the front page ahead of Bill Clinton's and Jamie Lee Curtiss'. Better than the rants are the headlines. These are ACTUAL HuffPost headlines from just yesterday. I imagine some are still up.
Is King Tut's Penis Missing?
Chinese Companies 'Renting' White People
Amazing mice learn to SURF
Loveless Chinese Troops Banned From Online Dating
Tiger Woods Attends Daughter's Birthday Party With Another Woman
Cops Mistook Lohan's Cocaine For Breath Mint
Kelly Ripa Pounds An Ice Cream Sundae
Is Glenn Beck The Publishing Industry's Biggest Hope?
Kourtney Kardashian Defends Cosleeping With Her Son
Jeremy Piven Drops His Phone In Toilet At Sushi Restaurant
Death Rays, Sniper Rifles, And Blenders: The 5 WEIRDEST Ways To Destroy The New iPhone
Phillie Phanatic SUED By 75-Year-Old Woman
Marilyn Monroe X-Rays Auctioned: A Breach Of Medical Privacy?
Oil Spill-Inspired Video Game Pokes Fun At Palin, Lets You Fight The Leak
Well, if anyone's looking to pitch the absolutely worst Indiana Jones movie ...
ReplyDeleteI'm dying! If the cops come around asking, Vermonter17032's comment is what did me in. So obvious, yet so unexpected.
ReplyDeleteKing Tut's penis is in a mason jar in my refridgerator. Right next to the pickled cow's tongue.
ReplyDeleteGood thing I'm a vegetarian.
I also have a bottle of Vodka in my freezer, fyi. I don't drink, but keep it handy for guests.
Indiana Jones & the Search For The Pickled Penis......me thinks this might get an R rating....although as old as Harrison Ford is getting they might as well make: Indiana Jones and the Search for The Mighty Metamucil.
ReplyDeleteShrinkage! He was in a cold pool!
ReplyDeleteA boy's mummy doesn't like to think about his penis
ReplyDeletePhillie Phanatic sued? Travesty!
Ken, for Friday questions, this week's TV Guide says The Cosby Show single-handedly brought back the sit-com. Do you agree, disagree or . . .?
Vermonter17032 said...
ReplyDelete"Hey, good news. I found King Tut's penis.If you look closely in that picture you'll see it is attached to his chin."...
Any more facelifts and that's probably where Burt Reynolds' will be too...
Burt's penis on King Tut's chin? Burt's an organ donor. God to admit, tho, Tut must've been quite the man, his penis is golden. Penis jokes at 6:20 a.m.? Sometimes we just wake up with those jokes, don't we.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to get the chance to write some of the HuffPost headlines... How's this for a current story?:
ReplyDelete"Al Gore Denies Sexual Assault Charges, Gropes For An Explanation"
I got REALLY REALLY stoned this weekend. I ate King Tut's penis.
ReplyDeleteWhat? It looked a helluva lot better than the pickled cow's tongue.
I read in otto Neubert's book (who was with Howard Carter in the tomb of King Tut) that the penis was 12 cm.
ReplyDelete