Part one was yesterday. (Again tonight, I'll be callin' 'em if I see 'em -- Mariners/Tigers at 7 EDT on 710 ESPN Seattle and MLB.COM)
COWBOYS & ALIENS – “Them’s the damndest injuns I ever did see.”
AN INVISIBLE SIGN – Jessica Alba as a teacher. Will do great business only if her clothes are invisible.
THE HIGH COST OF LIVING – Another Hollywood “meet cute”. Zach Braff hits a pregnant woman with his car.
JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT BUMMER SUMMER – Two Iraqi soldiers, with limbs missing, must crawl across the punishing desert to…Oh wait. That’s a different movie. This one is about third graders on summer vacation.
BEGINNERS – Ewan McGregor learns his dad, Christopher Plummer is gay. Really? He didn’t know? Christopher Plummer?
BAD TEACHER – I’m intrigued. Directed by Jake Kasdan, Cameron Diaz stars as the world’s worst teacher. Also features Justin Timberlake and Jason Segel. Could be funny.
HORRIBLE BOSSES – What is going on in the workforce these days???
A BETTER LIFE – Mexican gardener tries to keep his son out of dangerous gangs, or worse – Arizona.
THE ART OF GETTING BY – Sundance darling. High school student must complete a year’s worth of assignments in three weeks. Impossible for most people. Aaron Sorkin could do it in two weeks.
MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS – Remember Dick Van Dyke and the cute penguins in MARY POPPINS? Now imagine the same thing but for ninety minutes and with Jim Carrey mugging.
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS – The prequel to the other X-Men movies. MUPPET BABIES meets SMALLVILLE.
BEAUTIFUL BOY – Martin Sheen’s kid shoots up his school. Probably blaming Chuck Lorre.
JUST LIKE US – A group of Arab-American comics go on tour. No. Really.
TROLLHUNTER – When a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills loses a maid or chef or dog walker, who’s she gonna call?
CONAN O’BRIEN CAN’T STOP – Documentary that is supposed to be awesome chronicling Coco’s unceremonious departure from NBC and finally landing at – where is he again?—Oh right. TBS.
Bad Teacher sounds like it should be a porn movie and with the right casting it could be.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean Beautiful Boy starring Michael Sheen?
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I think you are just making these titles up. Looks like a good summer to hit the library and read, or check out documentaries on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteWe will probably see "The Hangover 2" in the theater though. We've found that movies like the 40 year old virgin and the hangover are only funny with the extra audience reaction
Wait, of all the movies you've listed in these two parts you cite "Bad Teacher" as 'could be funny'?
ReplyDeleteReally?
Have you seen the incredibly unfunny trailer? And how in the world can any film starring Cameron Diaz be funny?
Wow Ken, I know there's a lot of crap that comes out in the summer but there are occasional gems and from what I've seen of this film (unless they've cleverly hidden all the humor) it sure don't look like one.
Be fair in critiquing GREEN LANTERN's costume - the image attached is a photoshop mockup some fans did before the real pics were released by the studio.
ReplyDeleteHate on this, if you will:
http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/poster-xlarge1.jpg
Bad Teacher has a funny trailer and a great comedic cast. Justin Timberlake is the only recent host who is actually funny on SNL, so I, too, am looking forward to that one. All of the others sound boring.
ReplyDeleteThinking of making up film titles, I remembered Blake Edwards speaking through Larry Storch in S.O.B. -
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jsadOs2eUk
The Invasion of the Pickle People may be just what this nation needs - the feel good movie of 2011!
Couldn't they combine the last two films on the list and come up with "Conan O'Brien's Trollhunter?" Not sure who'd get the Leno and Jeff Zucker roles, though.
ReplyDelete"Ewan McGregor learns his dad, Christopher Plummer is gay. Really? He didn’t know? Christopher Plummer?"
ReplyDeleteWell, when I met his well-known actress daughter Amanda Plummer, she didn't know. Nor does his wife, nor do either of his two ex-wives. And it's news to me also. And you should see how surprised Chris is.
Yeah, I didn't get the Christopher Plummer dig at all. Maybe Ken was thinking of Christopher Marlowe.
ReplyDeleteCount me among those who found the BAD TEACHER trailer to be funny. As for funny Cameron Diaz films, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY had a few million admirers, I believe. Why people are still stumped by the subjective nature of comedy, I'll never know.
Maybe he meant gay as in happy. Though certainly many are both.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKen's right.
ReplyDeleteAll the movies I've seen Christopher Plummer in, he played gay. How was he in The Sound Of Music? Gay dad, seven kids, had a penchant for uniforms and discipline.
How was Plummer in An American Tragedy?. He played a gay F. Lee Bailey. Made me cry.
He was never so gay as when he played Herod in Jesus Of Nazareth. Some love can never be requited.
While we were staring at the dancers in the Madonna videos, Christopher Plummer was building the longest, thickest resume of great gay performances. I never saw him coming.
I'm waiting for Bad Teacher because I'm eager to see if something we contributed for one of the sets made it into the final cut.
ReplyDeleteCowboys and Aliens - I have no idea what the movies about beyond cowboys and aliens, but it stars Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford and that's enough for me. Yes, I can be that shallow.
Well Max, "Gay" usually means "prefers to have sex with is own gender," not "doesn't measure up to Max Clarke's personal milestone of masculinity."
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as a gay man myself, one who actually has sex with other men, I know some gay men who are fathers, but none with seven kids. That sort of repeat straight sex reveals Captain Von Trapp was straight.
@ D. McEwan
ReplyDeleteThey could have been adopted....
King James I of England -- the Bible guy -- "sought solace with extravagant and unsavoury male favourites" according to one biography. Also had eight children with Anne of Denmark. You make the call.
ReplyDeleteI want to see:
ReplyDeleteBad Teacher
Hangover 2
Everything Must Go
Super 8
Cowboys & Aliens
And which ever of those wedding movies that has Kristen Wiig in it, unless it totally tanks.
@ D. McEwan,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the confusion. I was having fun with Ken's strange remark about the movie and Plummer. I don't know anything about Christopher Plummer, the only thing I've seen him in from the last two decades was a trailer for the movie with his Mike Wallace portrayal. Still don't know what Ken meant, please forgive the fictitious revisionism.
"All the movies I've seen Christopher Plummer in, he played gay": For me the best-remembered latter-day Plummer role was as General Chang, the chief antagonist in Nick Meyer's Star Trek VI about 19 years ago. In that role he often quoted lines from Shakespeare with relish, as only a Klingon can. Thanks, Max, for the amusement I felt imagining Chang as a gay character (with bolted-in-place metal eyepatch, yet).
ReplyDeleteAnother shoutout to Lookout Landing, please! (It's a place that appreciate your brand of high octane snark). And maybe the Mariners can score 10 runs again...
ReplyDelete"YEKIMI said...
ReplyDelete@ D. McEwan
They could have been adopted...."
7 kids gay-adopted in pre WWII Austria? On what planet?
The fact is, I've never seen The Sound of Music, quite deliberately, as it's the sort of sacchrine sentimental crapola I dispise, not to mention my loathing of singing kids, and I was afraid if I was forced to sit through it, I'd end up rooting for the Nazis. So I can't say for certain, but I've certainly never heard that the Von Trapp Family Singers were adopted, though I'd understand someone wanting rid of them.
I'm guessing Ken hasn't read Christopher Plummer's autobiography. But I think where he made his mistake is that he forgot Plummer's Canadian.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid I saw Plummer play Cyrano on Broadway. Whatever else Plummer is, he's a great actor!
I'm betting Jim Carrey at least won't have an accent as brutal as DVD's attempt at a Cockney dialect was...
ReplyDelete"Lance Mannion said...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid I saw Plummer play Cyrano on Broadway. Whatever else Plummer is, he's a great actor!"
Boy, that is the truth! See his amazing Ralph Nickleby in the 2003 movie of Nicholas Nickleby, the one with Dame Edna and Nathan Lane as The Crummles. Plummer was magnificent.
(Blogger is now signing all my comments as Tallulah, whether I post as her or not. This is a "D. McEwan comment.)
Doug...can you let Blogger know that either you or Tallulah will sue for identity theft if they don't correct this?
ReplyDeleteYeah Michael Sheen stars in "Beautiful Boy" - and he's from the UK.
ReplyDelete