Meanwhile, Neil Patrick Harris will once again host the Tony Awards for CBS in June. I don't know the exact date but who cares? No one watches it anyway. Neil replaces Sean Hayes who will be busy filming THE THREE STOOGES. It’s being produced and directed by the Farrelly Brothers so if you thought the original Three Stooges were lowbrow and crass, just wait.
I found a blog with truly bad writing advice called HOW TO WRITE GOOD. But it’s very funny. Check it out.
Departing CBS news anchor/failure Katie Couric is negotiating to star in her own daytime talk show, thus following the success of fellow former TODAY SHOW hosts Jane Pauley and Deborah Norville in the daytime arena.
Congratulations to Dan Hoard, just named the new voice of the Cincinnati Bengals. Dan was my partner in Syracuse and one of the best sportscasters in the country. Trivia note for you SIMPSONS fans: In the "Dancin' Homer" episode that I wrote along with David Isaacs, I play the voice of the Springfield Isotopes and the name I use is Dan Hoard. Go Bengals! And Topes of course.
There are 88 scripted pilots this year vying for spots on network fall schedules. I think that’s up from like five a few years ago.
This Sunday I will be filling-in and once again co-hosting Dodger Talk on 790 KABC with Josh Suchon. I haven’t been paying strict attention. Is anything going on with the Dodgers this year?
And my next Seattle Mariners’ broadcasts will be next weekend from Cleveland. I also plan to visit the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame and demand an explanation as to why Rebecca Black hasn't been inducted yet.
To make room for her new/former husband, she is moving 35,000 dolls out of the house.
Sorry to hear of the passing of Jackie Cooper at 88. It’s somewhat disconcerting though that for all he’s accomplished in an amazing 85-year career that including acting, producing, Oscar nominations, and Emmy winning directing, some media outlets only refer to him as Perry White from the Christopher Reeve SUPERMAN films. How about THE LITTLE RASCALS, THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE (although Cleo the dog stole that show), HENNESEY, and directing MASH…just for starters?
I have located the worst comedy writers ever. They are all writing “humorous” Mother’s Day cards. Every card I read was like a one-liner from the remake of HEARTBREAK KID.
Touching Tweet from JennyJohnsonHi5: Last Mother's Day my stepkids got me an apron that read "World's Shittiest Stepmom" It was such a fucking dumb gift, they know I don't cook.
You know the perfect gift for mom on Mother's Day is a collection of hilarious travelogues. WHERE THE HELL AM? TRIPS I HAVE SURVIVED is just the thing. Order it here. She'll love you for it, and hey, where else you gonna get a Mother's Day gift for $2.99?
I can’t believe we haven’t seen the TV movie-of-the-week depicting the bin Laden killing starring Mark Harmon. It’s been four days!
Actual HuffingtonPost headline last night: How Do Astronauts Go Number Two In Space?
You know it’s May when CHUCK is on the verge of cancellation.
Not to be a name-dropper but Marlin slugger, Mike Stanton and I have the same dentist.
And finally, from Elayne Boosler: "Largest Spider Fossil Ever Found." Hmm. Does it live at the Playboy Mansion?
God bless you, Ken, for remembering and mentioning "Hennesey". I was three years old when it started, but I wanted Abby Dalton's phone number.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times I saw a Jackie Cooper credit on a Mash re-run and would think to myself, "Is that THE Jackie Cooper, naw can't be." Thanks for pointing that out.
ReplyDeleteWV -- docarn -- if only I was clever, I know there's something there, damnit.
The late Michael O'Donoghue also wrote a wonderful "How To Wrte Good," which for some reason, is linked on this page:
ReplyDeletehttp://workableweb.com/_pages/tips_how_to_write_good.htm
Also, Ken, let me be thie first to pre-welcome you to Cleveland! If you're looking for a light meal, let me sugggest Frank Sterle's Slovenian Country House for all of your schnitzle & slivovitz needs.
wv: ingsyc - a boy band with a bad head cold.
Not to be a name-dropper but Marlin slugger, Mike Stanton and I have the same dentist.
ReplyDeleteJimmy Buffett, Carl Hiaasen and I have the same dentist.
Please tell me you are kidding with the Boston Rob/Jerri, Bitch with the hat hosting the Emmys.
ReplyDeletePLEASE!!!!
SisterZip
Ken said:
ReplyDelete"...Is anything going on with the Dodgers this year?"
Frank McCourt has taken more undeserved money out of the Dodgers organization than Alyssa Milano...
Rest in peace to Jackie Cooper. A class act.
ReplyDeleteSince the "mansion compound" is now empty can't Boston Rob reside there?
Random question of the day:
ReplyDeleteIn your baseball pronouncing career, have you ever described a rally as "and the hits just keep on comin'?"
It looks like the "Three Stooges" movie is going to completely fictionalize their lives.
ReplyDeleteSo Hollywood can't find anything funny about growing up Jewish and poor in Brooklyn anymore?
To anonymous: Do you happen to know how one gets into the field of baseball pronouncing? I'm pretty good at correctly saying the names of most major league baseball players. Do you think I have a chance at a change in careers?
ReplyDeleteI went to the same physical therapist as Troy Glaus, and I don't have a contract for this year either....
ReplyDeleteLove ya, Ken. Love my wife. But JennyJohnsonHi5 is my TWILF.
ReplyDeleteWhat the HELL is Marie Osmond going to do with the 35,000 dolls? And HOW the hell did she acquire 35,000 dolls that now require something to be done with them in the first place? And why hasn't she been featured on the show HOARDERS yet?
ReplyDeleteBaseball pronouncing, pretty clever, I like it! And the hits just keep on coming? Not if you're calling a Mariner game (usually).
ReplyDeleteYou're going to Cleveland, but not to Baltimore (which is the first stop on their next road trip)? Who will be the Rizzistant when they play the O's?
Interesting stat I saw in Dwight Perry's column yesterday: most complete games pitched, career: Cy Young, 749. Most complete games pitched, active players: Roy Halladay, 60. He's closing in fast! The majority of pitchers never appear in 700+ games! I bet Rizzs has the rest of the Cy Young stats memorized.
"Have you in Cleveland by evenin'!" Lewis Grizzard.
Ken,
ReplyDeleteDo I remember correctly, or didn't Jackie Cooper also direct some Simon & Simon episodes? Are you sure you want to work for the Dodgers this weekend, an article in my local paper said they couldn't meet payroll this weekend.
Good Luck!
Last I heard Katie Couric was turned down for a talk show. She's a walking example of the Peter Principle.
ReplyDeleteKen, why did Fox Sports Northwest become Root? Just a name change or is it a different entity? BTW, what a dumb name.
Ken,
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you know or not, but the Isotopes are real. They used to be the Albuquerque Dukes. (Those Dukes are coming up, coming up, coming up swinging).
I hope you're only exaggerating a little about the scripted pilots looking for a network spot. Maybe the "reality" crap has peaked at last.
ReplyDeleteMy hairdresser once cut the hair of Mary Tyler Moore. Top that.
To Diane:
ReplyDeleteThe baseball "pronouncer" instead of announcer is a nod to an old Gary Owens-ism that only a few people --including Ken--might get. But thanks for being alert.
Don't know if Ken will see this comment, but there is now a plan floating around to redevelop the Dodger Stadium area for the NFL. Wonder what he thinks of that, given the NFL's patchy history in Los Angeles.
ReplyDeleteFor lack of a better place, i'll post this question here, since it's kind of random...
ReplyDeleteI was watching the final episode of Family Ties (a great sitcom, even though I don't think you were involved in it) on TV. Lots of emotion in the story. Is it harder to write the final episode of a sitcom, which usually has a sense of closure, finality and/or emotion, than it is to write for a show during its prime?
I usually think of myself as the only straight man in America who actually watches the Tony Awards, so I'll be watching. And this year, I actually have a reason: Matt and Trey of "South Park" are up for 14 awards for "Book of Mormon." I'm really looking forward to that, after nearly wearing out my mute button on the godawful numbers from last year's new musicals. I'm also looking forward to the "In Memorium" segment, where they salute all the actors who died while performing in "Spider-Man."
ReplyDeleteOn another topic, when will people ever learn not to try to reproduce the Three Stooges? Every so often, like on the old "Fridays" show on ABC, people try to do the Stooges, and it's always embarrassing. People think because it was dumb, lowbrow, knockabout humor, it must be easy. But Howard, Fine & Howard honed their timing in vaudeville and films for decades, and they had those moves and sound effects down to an exact science. Anyone else doing it comes across like Louie Anderson trying to channel Fred Astaire.
Well said about the Stooges, Pat. They were unique and will never be replicated.
ReplyDeleteI read the How To Write Good blog. I can't tell if he's serious or subversively insane. It has to be the worst collective advice on writing complied into so small a space in the known universe. I feel like I have to go and read all of Eudora Welty's books to purge him from my brain.
ReplyDeleteTo anonymous; Thanks for the explanation. I was afraid I was missing something and sure enough...
ReplyDeleteThat blog is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteDebra Norville isn't on during daytime in St. Louis. The local CBS affiliate shows Craig Ferguson out-of-pattern and puts her in between.
ReplyDeleteInside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, and The Jerry Springer Show have all been on literally every broadcast station in St. Louis (except the PBS affiliate) at every possible programming hour they could be on.