Sunday, June 17, 2012

My Next Life by Woody Allen



11 comments :

  1. I love that bit. Very clever and funny!

    As it turns out, it's not Woody Allen. Nor is it George Carlin. Nor is it from Seinfeld. It was actually written by Sean Morey.

    His original bit went:

    "I think the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement! You go to college, you do drugs, alcohol, you party, you have sex, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating.... You finish off as a gleam in somebody's eye."

    Obviously some clever person punched it up a little bit, and then it got attributed to either Allen, Carlin, or Seinfeld (depending on who you ask).

    A link on the history of this funny piece, for anyone who's interested:
    http://www.deepspirits.com/eyeopeners/living-life-backwards.php

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  2. Kind of like Benjamin Button.. :P

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  3. I love it! Whoever wrote it and/or refined it, it sounds good to me. And it's much shorter and more entertaining than the tedious Benjamin Button.

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  4. If life is backwards, Sean Morey will end up with a pile of money that he'll have to give back.

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  5. It was always the case that random bits of humor floated upstream until they got attached to big names-- Mark Twain apparently wrote every joke from 1800-1950. But the cut-and-paste ants on the internet have accelerated this process.

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  6. Yes, I had seen this piece a number of times via email receipts . . . often attributed to George Carlin; never had seen it attributed to Woody Allen.

    Surprised you got caught in a hoax.

    It happens. I've been caught a few times myself. I try to check snopes.com (or, if political, factcheck.org) but I still get hoaxed occasionally.

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  7. Saw this on Twitter yesterday:
    ! RT @MiaFarrow Boom RT @RonanFarrow: Happy father's day -- or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day.

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  8. "... some clever person punched it up a bit"? I must be terribly out of touch, as I think the original is so much better than this version (which sounds nothing like Woody Allen, of course).

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  9. That's how everyone on the planet Ork lives...however, their insides age (feel older) as their outsides get younger.

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  10. Austin in Tokyo6/19/2012 10:53 PM

    What about the guy who is born while he is being "drawn and quartered"? Would be a very traumatic way to start out in life.

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