Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day!

Especially to my own father, Cliff, who is both my hero and role model.

Note to those wives and kids planning to celebrate: no brunches. That’s Mother’s Day stuff. Let the old man sit in front of the TV and watch NASCAR or the WNBA. 

Or watch FIELD OF DREAMS.

And now, as a public service, here are some movies NOT to watch on Father’s Day:

FEAR STRIKES OUT
CHINATOWN
SHINE
WALK THE LINE
OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN
DEAD POETS SOCIETY
STAR WARS
THE GREAT SANTINI

Some TV shows and telefilms NOT to watch:

THE MARVIN GAYE STORY
THE BEACH BOYS STORY
MAD MEN
LOST
WHITE COLLAR
Any CBS family comedy

Some unfriendly father plays:

ALL MY SONS
DEATH OF A SALESMAN (any Arthur Miller, actually)
LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT

Some books to avoid:

Any Bing Crosby biography
Any Frank Sinatra biography
LOVE STORY (for so many reasons)

Records to skip:

PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE by the Temptations
BOY NAMED SUE by Johnny Cash
 
The sappiest record but a lot of people like it:
 
MY DAD by Paul Peterson

Any other suggestions are welcome.

Again, happy Father’s Day – the most sacred of the bullshit Hallmark holidays.

36 comments :

  1. I would add "Cats in the Cradle" by Jim Croce as another song to avoid on Fathed's Day.

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  2. The Shining
    The Stepfather
    Tim Allen sitcoms
    The Jacksons TV-movie

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  3. http://youtu.be/e0Dt9q8bkqg

    A classic.

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  4. We're watching CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG, which was a movie my father and I cherished when it was first released. He got me the tie-in paperback, the soundtrack album, even the single instrumental by Paul Mauriat.

    As a semi-adult, I have a boy and a girl and a Truly Scrumptious in my life as well as a Toyota. Who knew back then what life could bring?

    When the stage version of CCBB toured, my wife and kids took me to see if for my birthday. Must confess that seeing it live on stage got me a little verklempt.

    It's just one of those movies -- and musical scores -- that I can't be objective about because they figure so prominently in my life. Maybe CCBB is a perfect film, but it's a perfect memory that lives on.

    ...Talk amongst yourselves.

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  5. meant to say "not" a perfect film, but I couldn't see through the misty eyes.

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  6. Married With Children doesn't paint a sterling portrait of fatherhood.

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  7. "I Never Sang For My Father" directed by my late goomba Gil Cates starring Melvyn Douglas and Gene Hackman.

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  8. I cry at the end of "Field of Dreams" everytime. Steve Martin's version of "Father of the Bride" (the first one) also kills me.

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  9. Don't forget Twin Peaks, home to one of the creepiest dad's of all time.

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  10. "Menendez: A Killing In Beverly Hills" is probably not one to watch, unless you're trying to drop Dad a hint that he should be a bit nicer.

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  11. Scooter Schechtman6/16/2013 11:45 AM

    "Father Of the Bride" also brings me to tears, especially after watching "The Jerk", "The Man With Two Brains" or any of his other good, funny ones.

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  12. My father would have been 107 this year, but if he were alive his best gift would be Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner. He loved the 2000 year old man.

    wg

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  13. Song to avoid on Father's Day (and, come to think of it, Mother's Day as well): "The End," from the Doors' debut LP in 1967.

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  14. In the words of the immortal Ralph Kiner, to all of you fathers out there, "Happy Birthday!"

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  15. Would 'The Poems of Lizzie Borden' be too tacky a gift?

    I'm grateful my Dad is still here (at 89). My gifts this year were a great success: a DVD of Laurel & Hardy and a book of crossword puzzles.

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  16. victor Velasco6/16/2013 2:53 PM

    Ken, unlike Paul's dad, you ARE much in the eyes of the world; Happy Father's Day
    P.S. A funny song for the day : "Dear Dad" by Chuck Berry

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  17. "My Dad" by Ray Stevens is a good song for Father's Day.

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  18. I'd stay away from Dolores Claiborne.

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  19. You're right Jim. It just shows the lengths to which I avoid the song by forgetting who recorded it.

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  20. Dating myself, but how about Eddie Fisher's "Oh, My Pa-pa".

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  21. The Bad Father's Day Film Festival
    Rosemary's Baby
    American Beauty
    Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, the one ending with "Luke, I am your father."

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  22. I can certainly understand avoiding "Chinatown" -

    It's Father's Day!
    It's Grandfather's Day!
    It's Father's Day!
    It's Grandfather's Day!
    It's Father's Day!
    It's Grandfather's Day!

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  23. Eddie "Oh My Papa" Fisher was my dad's Hebrew school classmate in Philadelphia, although they didn't remain in touch. Unlike Eddie, my dad didn't abuse his health, retired at 82, and is still going strong nearly 3 years later, kaynahora.

    Wayne: Who's the worse father in American Beauty, Lester or Colonel Fitts?

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  24. Actually I kinda like Ozzie Nelson. Now.

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  25. Well, I enjoyed the perfect Father's Day viewing, a 1983 BBC serial adaptation of Charles Dickens's Domby And Son, with Julian Glover as Paul Domby Sr., the quintessential stern, with-holding, unloving Victorian dad: Everydad. The sexism-related theme of the novel (Domby is unable to bring himself to love his flawless, morally-perfect daughter because she's not the boy he wanted, his only son having died in early childhood) is as modern as today. Paul Domby is not quite as bad a dad as Darth Vader, but in The Empire Strikes Back, Julian Glover was working directly under Vader, so clearly he studied Bad Dadism under the Sith Master of Bad Daddying. It's been almost 30 years since I read the novel, so I'm enjoying a revisit to the Dombys.

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  26. Frequency with Dennis Quaid and Jim Caviezel. A son and father reunited years after the father died in an act of heroism as a fireman. It works.

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  27. Voluntarily watch the WNBA? Your innocuous--almost throw-away--comment can't go unchecked. Please explain...

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  28. Another bad dad: Ebenezer Scrooge's father who made him stay at boarding school during the holiday breaks. It appeared to have a bit of an effect on him in his later years...

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  29. How did you miss Arthur Kopit's "Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feeling So Sad"?

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  30. Don't watche that Liberace moei either.

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  31. uh...."movie"... or whatever it was.

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  32. Ron Rettig,

    Well, the movie of Oh Dad, Poor Dad, is very, very unavailable, unfortunately. I should have remembered it, though. I played The Commodore in it on stage back in college. (Though, of course, it's a better Mother's Day selection, not unlike its obvious inspiration, Medea.)

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  33. No, not Medea. Oops. The Orestia with Madame Rosepetal as Clytemnestra.

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  34. Thanks for bringing up "My Dad". Thought I'd finally purged that sappy song from my head but, alas, no! Oy!
    I remember you from Parkman Jr HS.

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  35. Who are you Bruce N.? Go Parkman!

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