Sunday, June 28, 2015

Blow in her face and she'll follow you everywhere.

Are you having withdrawal symptoms now that MAD MEN is over?  Well, to help you through these difficult times I thought you might enjoy these actual magazine ads from Don Draper's day.   Noted without comment except to say, JESUS EFFIN' CHRIST!!?"

28 comments :

  1. From this day forward, you must start each blog post with "How are your bowels?" It's only proper.

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  2. If I were the cynical type, I might think that that Colt ad was some kind of proto-Goth message encouraging people to commit suicide. I guess that's a consequence of living in a culture that isn't obsessed with guns.

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  3. eddie the basque6/28/2015 7:30 AM

    "Keep your head cool, your feet warm, and your bowels open is a good rule to follow."

    So that is why my mother always made sure I left the house with clean underwear.

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  4. "Today we have better and more pleasant ways to remove waste from the body then the ancients ever dreamed of."

    Good God, that has to be my most favorite line of ad copy of all time!

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  5. Well, you selectively chose these, Ken. This also happened to be the time when we had a middle class with decent paying jobs, and functioning schools, before we embraced globalization, and made the lives of a majority of Americans a struggle to get by each month.

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  6. "Every voyage a gay cruise..." I'm sure the word "gay" would probably be changed to "joyful" today...

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  7. Blogger James Lileks has made "mid=century culture" his turf and has a huge site full of ads like this. He has a strong Thesis, that his "culture" was ruined by Evil Hippies wrecking his fonts and stealing his lunch money.

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  8. "Today we have better and more pleasant ways to remove waste from the body then the ancients ever dreamed of."

    If anyone knows, please post.

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  9. Oh for the days when pinching a loaf weighed our minds more than the middle east and overhead drones.

    Aloha

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  10. {sobs} I just want that toaster -- SO -- much -- Oh, damn. I'm not married.

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  11. "The Ancients thought that the bowels were the seat of emotions."

    That one gave me a belly laugh.

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  12. You can find old bottles of Dr. Miles' Little Pills for sale in vintage stores online. The active ingredients were aloin (a bitter resin from aloe plants that causes colon contractions), ipecac (a drug that was used to induce vomiting) and podophyllin (an extract of the mayapple plant that irritates the small intestine and once was sold as a wart remover).

    So enjoy this "more pleasant way of removing waste from the body"!

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  13. Hate to disrupt such a jovial thread, but I understand veteran comedy writer Chris Thompson ("Bosom Buddies," "The Naked Truth," "Action") died Friday at age 63, just as he was planning to make a comeback via a pilot at Amazon: http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/chris-thompson-bosom-buddies-shake-it-up-action-dead-at-63-1201530057

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  14. "Do unto others . . . Give her a Hoover."

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  15. I was in the hospital for 5 weeks, every day the duty nurse would ask me about my bowel movements. Nothings changed I see.

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  16. @Mitchell:

    I got that kind of ironic vibe to the ad, too. "Here, go kill yourself! You'd only enjoy the holidays anyway."

    On the flip side, though, I imagine Harry Callahan types reading this kind of thing back in the day and having that glint in their eyes and half-smirk. They would think it's 'cute'.

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  17. Obviously you are not the child of an Italian mother. They believe everything is cured with a good bowel movement!!
    Janice B.

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  18. A now defunct hardware/department store, Western Auto, used to put a traditional photo on their Christmas catalogs. Gathered around the tree, little Johnny is playing with his train, Shelia had her dolly, Mom had a hair dryer -- and in the background with a big smile on his face was Dad holding a shotgun. I always thought they should have a thought bubble over him saying "You'd BETTER be having fun!"

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  19. June Fairchild RIP. Sunset Strip goddess, from Gazzari's and the Monkees to that thing she did with her tongue..

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  20. Actually, my dad gave my mom a vacuum cleaner last Christmas. It was by request, though. She wanted a new vacuum cleaner, anyway, and preferred that to any of the godawful clothes or jewelry that he, with the best of intentions and the worst of taste, tends to buy her.

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  21. More than anything, I'd like to know who the artists/illustrators were who did the artwork for those ads.

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  22. My question -- in the cruise ad -- there was Kukla and Ollie -- where the hell was Fran?

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  23. I guess the guy version of that vacuum ad would be "Christmas morning he'll be happier with a Hooter!"

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  24. Vintage ads like these make me cringe.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. Jay said...

    Actually, my dad gave my mom a vacuum cleaner last Christmas. It was by request, though. She wanted a new vacuum cleaner, anyway, and preferred that to any of the godawful clothes or jewelry that he, with the best of intentions and the worst of taste, tends to buy her.


    ROFL! My mom was the same way. My dad was always wonderful about buying her gifts for just about any occasion, but his taste was just so awful that she preferred to save herself the trouble and would tell him to just buy her a new toaster or a vacuum.

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  27. Jeff C in DC7/01/2015 9:36 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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