The Kingfish sets up a blind date for "Mama". Hoping the poor guy would like her and take her off of his hands he arranges for Mama to go to the beauty parlor. He's talking to the hair stylist, describing Mama. He says (and I'm paraphrasing), "Picture a grapefruit that's been out at sea. And it washes ashore, all covered with seaweed and crabs. Now it sits in the sun for a couple of weeks and gets all wrinkly and rotted and bugs are now flying around it. Can you picture that?" The hairstylist says "Uh huh." And the Kingfish says, "Good. If you can make her look that good I'd be satisfied!"
This is a re-post from several years ago, but so what? This joke always makes me laugh.
TOMORROW: Comedy 101 is back in session. If you haven't seen the episode I'll be breaking down, scroll down to yesterday's post. And Happy Mother's Day.
Good joke but don't post it on your Twitter account. Humourless social justice warriors are always waiting to pounce on anything they deem to be politically incorrect and will relentlessly hound you, as they did Joss Whedon until he closed his Twitter account. They're all about free speech, these social justice warriors.
ReplyDeleteTo all my maternal acquaintances as I sit here with an English Breakfast tea at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf at 7th & Flower (thinking of my mother, who reached age 93 before leaving us in December 2013)...a very happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteI think of my late mother daily, knowing that the hallowed prairie cemetary earth she rests in is younger than that joke.
ReplyDeleteMr. T's rap song "Treat Your Mother Right" spoke to the mid 80's generation.
ReplyDelete( Okay, it was a VHS motivational tape released in 1984: SOMEBODY must have seen it ... )
Enough with the "SJW" bullshit. Criticizing your speech is not suppressing your speech. Joss Whedon's decision to close his Twitter account was his own. And I say this as a fan of Whedon's and someone who disagreed with most of the criticism I read over his depiction of Black Widow in AGE OF ULTRON (I assume that's what you're talking about here).
ReplyDeleteAlways liked how Amos met the Kingfish....Amos is at the race track and reaches for his wallet his jacket, "and shook hands with the Kingfish"..
ReplyDeleteMy Mother's favorite Mother joke-
ReplyDeleteHow many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It's alright, I'll sit in the dark.
A joke, also, older than the hollowed ground in which she rests... and yet...I hear her sniggering, even now
Bear Bryant:
ReplyDeleteCall your mama. I wish I could.
To John Hammes: Not only saw it, included it in the revised and expanded edition of "Hollywood Hi-Fi" that I'm currently finishing up. I pity the fool who doesn't have both the Mr. T rap album and the accompanying home video.
ReplyDeleteTo Peter: I've found the best way to avoid the SJWs trying to shame you on Twitter. I just have nothing to do with that useless hangout for unemployed morons. When I think of a good one-liner, I don't give it away on Twitter, I find a way to get paid for it.
Ken, a Friday question for you. I've recently been catching some episodes of "Reba," a show I never saw in first run, but it holds up well and has become a hit on TV Land (they're even running weekend marathons). It's not great, but it's a well-done sitcom in the ABC Family genre. What most impresses me is Reba McEntire. She's a terrific comic actress with a strong persona that they could build a show around for six seasons. She's also a major country music star who holds all-time records for industry awards and chart hits.
I know a lot of singers try acting, and I wrote the book on actors who try singing. There are also many versatile singer/actors who come from Broadway, like Sutton Foster. But aside from Reba McEntire, I can think of very few major recording artists you could build a sitcom around, aside from maybe Cher, Barbra Streisand, Miley Cyrus and Queen Latifah. My question: Have you ever worked with anyone primarily known as a successful singer who you thought also had the kind of top-notch comic acting chops to anchor a sitcom? Or even be a long-running supporting character?
Answer: Kristin Chenoweth (who Ken indeed worked with). That little giant is a superb comedic actress.
DeleteHow many mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't know. My mother deserted me when I was a child.
To VP81955: I love Kristin Chenowith and have attended one of her live concerts here in Dallas. She's a phenomenal multi-talent, but I'd put her in the same category as Sutton Foster. They're very talented musically, but their primary background is Broadway, where you have to be able to sing, dance and act. Kristin's made records, but wasn't a major recording star first, like Reba or Queen Latifah. There was also an attempt by NBC to build a sitcom around her, but it didn't work out, maybe not through any fault of her own.
ReplyDeleteI meant, is there any famous recording star with the comic acting chops and persona to build a sitcom around, a la stand-ups like Tim Allen, Ray Romano or Roseanne? Most of today's pop/hip-hop stars seem to have no sense of humor at all (Kanye West). Another country music talent who came to mind is Brad Paisley. Some of his hit songs, like "Celebrity," are hilarious, and he's very funny in guest shots on shows like "Prairie Home Companion."