Why I'm not hip

This is a hard thing to admit but… I’m not hip.

And worse – I’ve never been.

When I was a teenager and everyone was gravitating towards FM progressive rock I still liked Top 40.

Everyone loved Janis Joplin. I loved (and still love) Karen Carpenter.

I miss TV opening titles.

When I went to UCLA and wanted to get into the film department I was summarily turned away because I wanted to do comedies.

I found Cheech & Chong to be hit or miss.

I eat red meat.

I would rather watch old Looney Tunes than any new animated series.

Analytics will kill baseball.

I watch vintage game shows.

Hip trendy bars tend to be too loud.

I write at home not at Starbucks.

I don’t have a Tesla.

I eat Gluten.

I can’t tell you who all the current cast members of SNL are.

I liked the NBA better when the coaches ran the teams and not the players.

I stopped watching THE DAILY SHOW when Jon Stewart left.

I didn’t watch RENT on Fox (okay, nobody did).

I like 5 GUYS over IN N’ OUT.

I didn’t see most of the nominated Oscar movies. Nor do I care.

I still love Marv Albert.

What’s the big deal with Avocado Toast?

I’ve never been to Coachella. But I’ve never been to Woodstock either.

I don’t wear a Fitbit.

I’d rather see a Neil Simon play than one by Eugene O’Neill.

I miss Walter Cronkite.

I ask for straws.

Tetris is still my favorite computer game.

Sean Connery is still my favorite James Bond.

I don’t know how to access original programming on Facebook.

When I go to rock concerts I want the bands to play their hits. And not fuck with them.

I still write a blog.