Saturday, February 10, 2007

Why David Caruso (beat beat) is a one trick pony

"We have ways (beat beat) of making you pay."

This might as well be (beat beat) David Caruso's acting reel.

32 comments :

  1. He has two tricks, the beats, and his sunglasses.

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  2. Ike! Do your impression of David Caruso's career!

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  3. William Shatner, you must relinquish your crown.

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  4. If you watch this video backwards, you see God!

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  5. Nice statue of him at the end...

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  6. talk about product placement opportunities for Oakley or Sunglass Hut!

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  7. he does do that (beat beat) all the time.

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  8. Horatio Kane: So what you're saying
    is... (Puts on sunglasses) ...I suck! (Moves off screen)

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  9. Hey! Nice work if you can get it!

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  10. This is one more trick than he displayed in "Black Point"

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  11. actually, they're silouettes (it's a brand of sunglasses with really bendable sides and no frames).

    it's sad that i know this.

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  12. I've always disliked David Caruso's acting (the reason my least favourite and least watchable CSI is Miami - even though I like the other actors) and can't stand to watch a whole CSI:Miami because of him. Thanks for pointing out one of the reasons his acting irritates me.

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  13. Was he really this bad during his stint on NYPD? I know he was at least this arrogant, but didn't he used to have talent?

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  14. He was excellent in the first season of NYPD Blue. Too bad he was such a perfectionist jerk.

    I wonder...

    If he ever...

    pokes himself with those glasses by mistake.

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!

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  15. Even better than Caruso's acting are the one-liners that the writer's give him. SOOO cheesy! If they were to write something about this video, I'd imagine it'd flow something like:
    "And that's why YouTube videos belong... ... ... (puts on sunglasses) ...on the internet."

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  16. He's the new Shatner- more grumpy, less charming.

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  17. The other thing he does that really, really irritates me is that when he talks to people always tilts his head.
    It's sort of arrogant, really.

    Anyway, Caruso or not Caruso, this show has the worst lines I've ever heard.

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  18. I've seen this reel.

    Kind of makes one long for his Kit Kat days, doesn't it?

    (I suggest looking this up.)

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  19. we like to call this clip "Sunglasses of Justice"

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  20. That reel is hilarious. I always love on that show how he has those oh-so-cool tag lines before the main title rolls, that always has to do with kicking ass and taking names and that the bad guys will be sorry they messed with him. And then you look at Caruso. Who couldn't kick that dough boy's ass?

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  21. Wait, and this show is popular?

    I don't understand why (beat beat) anybody would watch it.

    Honestly though, I only made it through half the video. I was going insane.

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  22. Ken, Why don't you have a contest about who can submit the the best (worst?) parody? Here's my entry:

    EXT. PARKING LOT

    CAINE AND DETECTIVE NATALIA BOA VISTA [PLAYED BY THE GORGEOUS EVA LARUE] STAND OVER A CORPSE SPLAYED OUT ON THE PAVEMENT.

    BOA VISTA: The evidence seems to indicate that it's tied to the Guatemalan drug cartel.

    CAINE STANDS QUIETLY, STARING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE.

    CAINE: Inspector Boa Vista, let me ask you a question.

    BOA VISTA: What?

    CAINE: In the past twenty-four hours the city of Miami has experienced five suspected homicides resulting in my department's manpower being stretched to its limits, all the local law enforcement agencies coming down on my back, and my cell phone being overloaded with messages from the mayor's office strongly suggesting that I do something about this mess before I find my ass in a sling.

    HE SLOWLY TURNS HIS HEAD, PUTS ON HIS SUNGLASSES AND LOOKS DIRECTLY AT HER.

    CAINE: Why is it then, that the only thing I seem to be able to focus on right now is your hooters?

    CUT TO:

    STOCK OPENING SHOT OF MIAMI WITH MUSIC

    ROGER DALTREY'S VOICE: Yee-e-e-a-a-aahhhh!

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  23. Not to sound like i'm defending Mr. Caruso, but please keep in mind... there's a writer somewhere who gets credit -- or blame -- for "crafting" those scenes.

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  24. Ahhhhahaha "Sunglasses of Justice"
    Good one!

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  25. It's odd how bad things can sound when you take things out of context (thing about the Walker clips on Connan). In the acutaly show they aren't that bad (they are exactly good eithor), and fit in with the rest of the show.

    Pull everything out like this, it's no where near as good.

    I'm sure you could do the same thing with any other show, and it would look just as dumb.

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  26. As big a one-trick pony as he is, Caruso is a serviceable actor making a slightly-above-meager salary in a not-going-to-be-cancelled-anytime-soon show...

    There's something to be said for that.

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  27. I just lOVE your blog. It made my day...I would to read more of that...

    http://davidcarusoandme.blogspot.com/

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  28. Caruso is a douche and a class-A-jerk.

    A GOOD ACTOR can make something watchable out of even the most cheesiest lines.
    But Caruso has no talent at all therefor the show is so bad.

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  29. Vixen, you frigging douchebag - so flog yourself.

    David is a GREAT actor - he just has bad writers. Watch him in Proof of Life, Mad Dog & Glory, Body Count, Jade, Deadlocked or some of the other movies he made. Granted, some are not the best movies, but it's the director directing the movie and the editor who edits the movie - not the actor - who makes the movies so "B". David is a great actor, a great man and a very handsome one!

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  30. Disregard her she is mentally ill and therfore her view is a bit blurry" (well, someone who cuts her writs while watching Caruso movies must be sick)....she can't make a difference between good acting and the shit Caruso delivers.
    Caruso is the douchebag of the century...the poop of TV

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  31. Yes, he certainly is....thank you

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  32. I have to say that, Vixen ,you're way to hard on David. You need to separate the man at work versus the man in real life. How can you hate him so much? What has he ever done to you?

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