Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The WGA strike red carpet show!

On Tuesday hundreds of stars joined picketers outside of Universal. First off, thanks to all of them. Expect to get juicier speeches and more punch lines when this thing is over. But I was surprised more entertainment reporters weren’t out there to host “Red Carpet at the Strike” shows. Where were Joan Rivers and Melissa? Sam Rubin? Mindy Burbano? Tawny Little? Ryan? J-Lo’s sister? I can almost picture what those shows would have been like. Pick any one of those hosts as the reporter.

REPORTER: “Coming over now is Kim Delaney. Kim, gray is a really great color on you.”

REPORTER: “Here’s Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Great to see you out here. What a worthy fight. So did you see BEE MOVIE yet? What did you think?”

REPORTER: “Here’s Ray Romano from EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. So it’s nice of you to be here because you’re already rich off that show. How much have you made?”

REPORTER: “Lisa Edelstein! You look gorgeous!! Who did your baseball cap?

REPORTER: “I’m talking with January Jones from MAD MEN. What is MAD MEN?”

REPORTER: “Here’s January Jones from MAD MEN. January, compare what life was life for writers in the 60’s to now.”

REPORTER: “Julia Louis-Dreyfus is with me now. Julia, have you talked to Jerry? What does he think about this strike?”

REPORTER: “Ben Stiller! Ben Stiller! So the fact that you’re out here, supporting the writers, does that mean you don’t blame them for HEARTBREAK KID?”

REPORTER: “Here’s Nicollette Sheridan from DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Maybe you can answer this question. Eva gave out pizzas last week to writers. What kind, do you know?”

REPORTER: “George Lopez is in the house. George, don’t you write your own material? Do you really need writers?”

REPORTER: “Bill Paxton from BIG LOVE. I know you play a bigamist on your show. Tell me, if you were a writer, do you think you’d be still be supporting the strike if you had three wives to feed?”

REPORTER: “Kaley Cuoco” is here! She’s on BIG BANG THEORY. I see you on that show and you’re so nice to those nerds. Is it harder today because you now around thousands of them?”

REPORTER: “I see Diane Farr. (calling out) Diane! Love your jeans! Love your sign!”

REPORTER: “Coming over now is Venessa Marcil. You see her every week on COLD CASE…what? VEGAS. I meant VEGAS. So, um…Vanessa, do you think the show is as good without James Caan?”

REPORTER: “Camryn Manhein! Hi! I haven’t seen you since the last strike.”

REPORTER: “Brad Garrett! Are you getting taller? No, seriously. Brad, I know you don’t do movies but do you think the strike will affect the Oscar awards?”

REPORTER: “Okay, I see just a bunch of writers approaching. This might be a good time to take a break. We’ll be right back.”

22 comments :

  1. Hey, I drove through Burbank today.

    Every entrance to Universal (including Barham), every drive-on and walk-on entrance to Warner's, almost everything at NBC. Everybody I saw in a red shirt.

    I'm blown away. I don't think I've every seen so many writers cooperate in this way! Excellent!!

    The main Warner's drive-on at Hollywood Way and Olive had only one person at it, though.

    It's not my place to be proud or anything, but my chest did swell a little bit!

    www.theskinofmyteeth.com

    David B.

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  2. Has Joan Rivers critiqued the strikers' clothing on some digital cable channel up near the 800 level yet? That's when you know you've really descended into the land of the inconsequential.

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  3. Joan:

    "There's a writer... Who are you wearing down? ... Nick Counter? Never heard of him..."

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  4. Ken,
    Weren't there any reporters asking the actors about their feelings?

    Reporter: "Ellen DeGeneres is coming down the alley - that's her in the Unibomber-brand hoodie and sunglasses. Hey, Ellen, how do you feel about your show's writers demanding a cut of the Internet Billion that Les Moonves has been gloating over? Ellen - don't walk away! I have more questions! Are you over the purloined puppy yet? Don't run, Ellen - how do you feel about MEN IN TREES?"

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  5. ...i was disappointed there wasn't more of Diane Farr when i clicked that photo.

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  6. Today on the line at NBC, Hooters girls gave wings to famished picketeers. If they can stick it out, we can stick it out.

    Wayne

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  7. Does anyone actually watch the TV Guide channel? By the time the listings roll around to what's on, you've already missed half of what you choose to watch.

    I got to see an interesting sight yesterday. We were at the Extreme Makeover Home Edition reveal here in Louisville, and Ty Pennington spent what seemed like a half an hour reviewing one sheet of paper. Who knew he had to learn lines?

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  8. This BLOG was so much funnier before the strike.

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  9. I read in TV Guide that the writers rejected Eva's pizzas because she crossed the line to work. The same issue had a picture of Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy carrying signs on the line. Does that mean that Felicity didn't go to work? If all of the actors refused to cross the lines what would the producers and networks try to do to them?

    Okay, maybe someone who isn't in a starring role on a hit show would get fired, but I can't see the Desperate Housewives cast or the leads of any hit show getting canned en masse.

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  10. MARK STEINES: At Universal Studios today, Mary Hart was on hand to ask the actors who were picketing in solidarity with the writers the hard-hitting questions that needed to be asked...

    LOCATION SHOT

    MARY HART: Mark, it's a madhouse here...I haven't seen so much confusion since the year Chevy Chase showed up at the Emmys and no one remembered who he was... Oh, here comes Jerry O'Connell and his new bride, Rececca Romijn... Jerry, Rebecca! You know the two of you look so good together... Think this strike will just put a big crimp in your honeymoon plans?....

    IN ANOTHER AREA....

    JOAN RIVERS(To David Caruso): So David, I'm guessing Sunglass Hut was out of the kind you usually wear?....

    ****************************

    Ken, thanks for the update on "Writer's Strike Day 9: America Held Hostage" (which I'm surprised some entertainment show hasn't already coined)... Wish I could be there to lend my support to you guys, but I'm there with you in spirit...

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  11. Red Shirts?

    I mean, as writers, they *must* now what red shirts mean, right?

    Or have we come that far away from the halcyon days of The Original Series, TOS, of Star Trek?

    Red Shirt Guys were those who within the first ten minutes were leeched of all their salt, were phasered away, or were shot by flowers...

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  13. You are all probably aware of this, but I saw an online petition linked to this site:
    http://unitedhollywood.blogspot.com/
    Suffice to say - the writers have this consumer's full support. As a TV and movie fan, it's the least I can do.

    Remember as Gordon Keith once wrote, "2 wrongs won't make em write" ....Nyuck, nyuck.

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  14. Hey, Ken -- I just checked on the writers who are out on strike against the adult film industry... Both of them are picketing an abandoned warehouse in Canoga Park...

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  15. REPORTER: Ellen? WOW! What a pleasant surprise to see you here on the picket line! Oh, Um, I'm sorry David Spade it was an honest mistake. So, I guess that's not Portia de Rossi next to you?

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  16. Over at fanaticalapathy.com, Adam Felber theorizes that LIONS FOR LAMBS and FRED CLAUS tanked last weekend because the stars couldn't plug them on Leno-man. A settlement may be in sight.

    I love the idea of publicists pleading for a few minutes on Charlie Rose, between John F. Burns and Madeline Albright.

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  17. When they have Unofficial Gay Days at Disneyland and/or Magic Mountain (now-annual events), all gay participants are asked to wear red shirts, which means the picket lines are now looking like the Gay Writer's Strike.

    I'm sure the female writers picketing at NBC (including my dear friend Jayne) were delighted to see the Hooter's bimbos reminding them that there is another viable career path for women, if they have big bazooms. (But do the Hooter's waitresses get residuals from Internet downloads of their mammery glands? they're viewed far more often than replays of CAVEMEN.)

    "Famished"? Really? Maybe they haven't eaten since breakfast, but they're not yet living in mud huts. Still, it must be nice to receive support from women not wearing any support.

    Speaking of CAVEMEN, I happened to see this week's episode. (I was tied to a chair by home invaders.) I swear it was a rewrite of an old WILL & GRACE episode. One caveman supports one candidate in an election because he's a caveman. The other supports a candidate who agrees with him about easing gun control. At meet-and-greets, they each discover that their candidate is a raving loon. On WILL & GRACE, Will supported a gay candidate while Grace supported the Jewish female candidate, only to discover that both were loons. Next week: A Caveman gives birth to Little Ricky the same day he gives birth in real life, while the other two cavemen work an out-of-control conveyer belt of candies.

    Obviously for CAVEMEN, the strike didn't come soon enough.

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  18. I just heard that the cast of "Cavemen" has flown to Australia to remake old episodes of "Mission: Impossible."

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  19. Yes, this blog was funnier before the strike. Is it possible that this Ken has been replaced by a scab?

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  20. Just kidding! Ken, this blog is as funny as it has ever been. And it keeps you in the habit of writing things that wind up on the Internet that you don't get paid for.

    At least if the strike keeps up, you can fall back on your old job as a production manager.

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  21. I was going to ask Ellen Degeneres for her thoughts on the strike but all I could do was stare at that pubic hair stuck in her teeth...

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  22. I find it odd to see the actors out there "supporting" the writers, while in costume (I've seen Betty and the Grey's kids in scrubs) so just clearly supporting in between takes. How is that support?

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