PUNHARRI: The ancient ritual of killing bad jokes
I think we have another contest. You guys have come up with some great definitions based on your comment verification codes. For those who don’t read the comments, you’re missing out. Some great stuff in there. (And don’t think I’m threatened because some of you sons a bitches are funnier than I am.)
But your definitions are just too good not to be rewarded. So in the spirit of the Komedy Kontest, I’m hereby starting another competition. The best word verification daffy definition. Since it’s luck of the draw what the combination of letters will be for you I think it’s only fair to keep the initial entry period open longer than the Komedy Kontest. So phase one will end at 9:00 PM PST on Thursday. That gives you six days.
Like before, I will have someone else select the top five and you guys will vote for the final winner. Better to hate someone you don't know rather than me.
“Yeah, yeah”, you’re saying, “But what the hell do I WIN? It better be GREAT!”
It will be hard to top the Komedy Kontest grand prize -- a signed AfterMASH script – but I think I’ve done it.
The winner of the Daffy Definition Kontest will receive…
Are you ready?
A signed copy of MIDNIGHT, one of our very best unproduced pilots! Talk about rare! Talk about special! Talk about a show that should have been made! This one is it! And it includes the official Paramount Studios script cover, just like the one rejected by CBS.
Some Kontest rules:
Enter as many times as you’d like.
You must give your name.
You’re on the honor system. But judges have the right to throw out any entry they feel is not legitimate.
Please do not comment on other entries until the final five are chosen.
Decision of the judges is final.
You must be a citizen of some country in order to apply. Doesn't have to be the US but some country.
You are not required to listen to my Sunday night radio show from 7-10 PST on Talkradio 790 KABC even though it streams live on the internet.
Best of luck, everyone. Let the punharri begin!
788 comments :
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 788 Newer› Newest»BIREEDS
Oboes and clarinets that like both genders.
cratall: a volcano on the moon
inedness: when a talking horse has his name legally changed
ABLEMEGO
What the slaves said to Lincoln.
chafts: a web site for talking wheat
cougist: a mountain lion that believes in the abolition of private property
TABRAN
What Sam Malone did for Norm in the past
POTSKE
What Russian hippies smoke.
NEDEPERM
The condition of a woman's hair after getting caught in the rain.
COSECT
What married vivisectionists do.
Ophelly: Hamlet's hillbilly girlfriend
birlib: an emancipation movement that counted both Perry Mason and Ironside as members
aplen -
When aplenty just isn't on the table.
reccurph -
The word Candice Bergen gave herself when she would frequently wake up and think that Murphy Brown was still on the air.
irmin -
A small gnomish creature that served as muse to many Borscht Belt comics back in the day. Usually he recieved very little pay which included a two dollar bill and a catalog of Shabbos paraphernalia. He was not pleased.
fluinsing -
The act of eating at a restaurant in Little Ethiopia with the goal of getting out of work for at least two days.
raties: what the well dressed rodent wears
amocitum -
An ancient Roman plaza built just to give people a place to run amuck. The Roman empire fell shortly thereafter.
clacid: LSD taken by dead, white males
weemies: What you call midgets that swear revenge on you
liard - an untrustworthy Scottish landowner
peabove. What you don't want to look up and see as you leave a building.
penspec - what you do when no studio or network will hire you.
Chiacke: Commonly used verification word for a porn site.
boapedds - snakes with feet
ingsnal -
A word used similarly to pig latin by Pontius Pilat that was half mumbled and whispered to a gaurd that meant "begin the nailings" as to not offend his visiting momma Paula Pilat.
javaillo - steel wool pad for removing coffee stains
Vitchi - How my wife Varvara acts if I've drank too much veer.
H Johnson
hicizess - toothless female vampire who sucks necks anyway
nesser: Sex between two large people in a body of water in Scotland.
spids - bits of food that fly out of your mouth when you try to talk and eat a potato at the same time
commiti -
A committee for girls who spell their names as thus: Traci, Juli, Judi, Stephani, Lindsi, Ali, Tami. They are also all whores.
subil: Quenton Taritino's latest movie. David Carridine is seved with a lawsuit.
Cheednes - The act of being as one with Don Cheadles
as in: Obama is the Cheednes!
H Johnson
cilica: Where all the porn stars live
kathe -
A catheter for Kids!
grate - profound disappointment;opposite of great.
as in: Oh grate, my word verification is a real word.
H Johnson
mencries: What happens after every airing of "Brian's Song"
omouse: what you should never hear from somebody alone with a mouse
jachi -
Scarface's favorite Happy Days character.
bilis: telling a falsehood twice
mundenai: disagreeing when someone calls you boring
ameth: Used in conclusion when praying for a bountiful methamphetamine crop.
Frequently heard shouted from the mobile homes and tool sheds of Riverside County, CA.
hypoose -
When Sarah Palin goes into Moose killing overdrive.
baloging - blogging when you're full of baloney (not implying anything about Ken!)
distsitt: an insult directed at someone who refuses to stand.
orman -
Someone I can't stand who has their own show whose repugnance is exceeded only by Nancy Grace.
hablu - talking diry in Spanish (as in, why do all these young Mexican comics have to work hablu?)
unscanti - my wife's winter pj's
as in - Where the hell is it? Your nightie is way unscanti!
H Johnson
inazza:
Where O.J. is gonna get it...
misib -
1. A goombah's pronunciation of "missive". As in: "Ayy! Nicky you send dat misib yet? Well whaddafuck ya doing? You bedda stop ogglin' my sista or Ima gonna pop you one right in ya nose. Ahh whaddaya good for? Nothin'. I send dat misib myself. I love ya Nicky. Like my own brotha. Mmwah!
2. A turkish curry dish with rib meat.
ankme - what happens to a teenager who listens to Nirvana while eating french fries.
H Johnson
pomidsc - Pomidsc me to introdoosk myslefk - I'm Popeye.
Hey, you do what you can with what you're given.
athsspec - A visual aid for near-sighted Bruth of San Francisco
H Johnson
Bedan: The substance produced by a man's body that renders him completely unable to understand how bad a menstrual cramp can hurt.
dinse - aftereffect of brainwashing
nonpf - (noun) - masculine
as in: I don't know about Cruise, but Pitt is definitely a nonpf.
H Johnson
Prelick- The process by which you are about to eat a dripping ice cream cone.
flogada - fleet of ships manned by sadists
Conal - /ko-nahl/ (n.) 1. - Cone like.
(jeez, why couldn't I get a better captchs?)
1. undenti - Italian for mushy spaghetti
2. undenti - How P. Hilton described her car after getting it back from the shop.
H Johnson
Suptows - The art of towing something with your ass.
facktz - What Joe Friday goes looking for in the hood.
garrecat - to strangle a feline
Sheesh, this is addictive. I can't imagine what the post count will be come Thursday.
Makende - What Nelson Mandela calls Ken Levine.
H Johnson
Fockillu - gangster contraction.
ectal - type of thermometer for poltergeists
Appia -
Johnny Appleseed's family name before they emigrated to the U.S.
Natedle - A special spoon just for Nate.
calik -
The inextricable desire to taste California.
Cotact - The result of spelling the word "contact" while not wearing any.
chaulatu -
The Hawaiian phrase for "Would you like a water chestnut?"
Vivisms - The wit and wisdom of Vivian Vance.
ababur -
An upholstery material made from woven strands of Barbara Streisand's hair. Only sold in Scottsdale and select cities is Belize.
barpro - that flashy blonde that just asked if you'd like to buy her a drink
Natesses - A whole bunch of Nathans
H Johnson
warope -
A device used unsuccessfully by President George W. Bush to escape the embarassment.
Gerco - An underground corporation that supplies small rodents to the gay community.
H Johnson
imetr - new device from Apple for helping you keep track of all your other Apple devices
immetan - What Britney says after gittin' outta the booth.
H Johnson
hortat - shorthand for that display of ink where a woman's lower back meets her buns.
As Vince Vaughn said in Wedding Crashers - "It might as well be a target."
shnostup -
A term used exclusively by Mel Brooks to describe sex in Minnesota in the heart of winter.
oxbert - Who pulls Dilbert's wagon?
H Johnson
joilizer - The weapon used to pull men away from Jennifer Aniston.
H Johnson
Subjugma - difficult situation in which the only options are either shouting the word "submarine" or playing "Turkey in the Straw" with a whiskey jug.
Algaski - Alaska's younger, less attractive cousin
bilict:
Ménage à trois act (illegal in most states) which earned a porno rating for this blog.
Somebody stop me...
Obston: town mostly for it's famous bar Hceers
balliev
relying on the power of prayer only when the outcome of a sporting event is on the line
CALFSCI
The scientific study of young cows.
"Terfu" The time all the termites go home.
Clamero - Chevrolet's ill-fated attempt at an amphibious vehicle.
CUTARS
Guitars with Razor-sharp strings.
Oveys: yiddish brand of bladder protection products
PSYCO
What you have left after you tell Norman Bates to "Get the H out of here!"
spagnati
members of the Vatican's secret society since the Middle Ages that covertly influences all western nations to eat spaghetti
bojor -
A French erection.
rativena: a prayer said to the god of rodents.
Spookjju: a martial art for ghosts
hylie:
A greeting to your friend, Lee.
garge: where you keep your cr.
MOSKI
Title of Spike Lee movie about Bode Miller
nomic -
Something that is nameish.
pretingu: the first symptom of the clap.
hessids -
Former Hasidic Jews who still enjoy a good humantash.
Crount - 1. The seminal act in a coronation. "And, yea, did the Pope then place the circlet atop her head, and thus the new queen was crount."
2. Vulgar Slang for a particular part of the female body, also known as "prussy".
comer:
A girl you want to sleep with.
dyingfwn -
1. A dying faun.
2. A dying phone.
3. A dying sense of fun.
4. Something Gary Busey laughs as he demolishes a Color Me Mine store with a Cocker Spaniel.
latert:
Something you are not going to do nowt.
unflat -
Jennifer Lopez.
creedn -
The act of writing music just as crappy as the music of creed.
oates -
Is nothing without Hall.
Imenim -
The indie rap name of Eminem before he went all "commercial".
Pentl - Bartleby the Scrivener's Jewish grandmother
strollus:
The first name of the nanny who took Julius Ceasar's infant for a walk.
tancestr:
Hey! I just found out George Hamilton is one of my great uncles thrice removed!
Bee
mulap: a unit of distance defined by the ground covered when a cow runs once around the edge of the pasture
Debra;
What I unsuccessfully tried to do to all those girls, in the back seat of my car, when I was in high school.
ebech:
ebay's apathetic cousin
Bee
Supagal - favorite comic book heroine of working class Italian-Americans.
prock - totally useless hybrid of two words that already mean the same thing anyway
immin -
Something that is so imminent that...you get it. You're a smart bunch.
proofsho - /pro-of-sho/ (n.) similar to best in show, but for tne AVN Adult Film Awards.
Tatercon - The reason all the hotels in Boise are booked this weekend.
mirrhos -
Shiny prostitutes.
Slymens -
A fashion brand for only the best date rapists.
Enurize
verb; slang;
to pass or discharge urine in a continuous manner
From the Greek "enourin" meaning "to urinate in."
Coined after a failed venture by Energizer to cross market with hospitals by advertising on medical supplies. Photos of the energizer bunny staring up at you from your bedpan spawned hospital staff to refer to full bedpans as the 'urine that just keeps going and going and going...'
Opicidne
Never produced screenplay from 1973 wherein the kid from the Andy Griffith show tunes in, drops out and moves from Maybury to (Height) Ashbury.
After one too many tabs of acid - he strolls down the on the Golden Gate bridge, and thinking he sees that big ol' catfish that had always eluded his and his Pa's hook, jumps to his untimely death.
Alas for the producers, Ron Howard backed out, deciding he wanted to take his career down a more commercial route.
Undowni: The replacement word for 'up' after several generations of inbreeding.
puglus -
Slang term for sexy Walter Matthau.
Goets: Extremely literary goats.
spookjju:
One of my Hebrew Brethren working undercover in Djibouti or a similar posting.
poonden -
Where all the lovin' happens. Come on. It wrote itself.
nosig -
F. Murray Abraham's college nickname.
simptor -
Someone who causes symptoms.
vrosthee -
Governor Schwarzenegger's dessert.
pulpati -
A party on the pulpit and all the choir boys are invited.
maties -
Gay pirate comrades.
corys -
The term used to describe a washed up 80's child actor who was not missed suddenly thrown back into the spotlight for no reason whatsoever.
domulys -
The world famous groupies of the one the only master of the arts and lovemaking...Dom DeLuise.
throcrop - a food fight down on the farm.
afing -
A thing. Something. Anything. But it must come from Jersey.
gesch -
Sean Connery's response when asked who has drank more goat urine him or Stacy Keach.
mentell -
Montel Williams retarded brother, am I right folks! Hazzah!
NAMBLESB - little known lesbian chapter of NAMBLA. They're not into man-boy love, of course, but they're against gender discrimination of any kind. So they sued to get in.
Refero - Mexican marijuana
barsen - The criminal act of lighting your own farts.
hapan: Spanish for Japan.
truca: A brotha Teamsta
(and Cap'n Bob, we're astat as we can be.)
ticle: a very small facial twitch
Cometi: What the Yeti tried to get his wife to do last night
Chext- A new breakfast cereal.
uncat: wearable cat underwear
capsess: how one rates a good drive-by shooting
hytizips: What Heidi Fleiss does in your lap after she does that other thing in your lap.(Fastidious to a fault.)
ravon: Roger Ebert suggesting that Michael Medved would do well to just stick with additional right wing talk radio. Medved's reply: "Nevermore."
shalla - The first word to 7,863 late 50s and early 60s songs.
H Johnson
prion: door bouncer at a Star Trek Convention
Schari
How I look the day after a tequila bender. Downright schari.
phottoro
A picture so airbrushed it's pure bull
Nobwool: How they give handjobs in Kiev.
Phoss - /foss/ (n.) Floss for people with cleft palates.
TANSANDR: shirtless woodworker.
NEENTHRA: Mothra before pupation.
inque -
A term used to describe the moment a woman's vagina is ready.
eliquarg: An elegant burp or upchuck.
tebunhag - /tay-bun-hagg/ (n.) A girl who hangs around with tebuns because their non-hetero personalities don't make her feel threatened and they have an uncanny ability to match blouses with shoes.
preusas -
The Greek God of pre-owned vehicles.
acketr - /ack-et-err/ (n.) Instrument used to strike tennis balls at a dyslexic tennis tournament.
Crownify: The process of inaugurating a new King or Queen.
culff -
It's uh...like a gulf. Except for the water. And, uh, the U shaped shoreline. It's uh...it's...actually it isn't like a gulf in any way. I don't know why I said that. I don't know what it is. Sorry 'bout that.
Poundop: An opportunity for some poundin'.
readongl - /ree-dong-uhl/ (v.) Action taken when one's girlfriend is not satisfied with a single dongling in a night.
hellytie -
Not just a bad tie. The WORST kind of tie. An evil tie.
Mingn: The act of picking up unattractive people.
monies:
Old timey gangster speak for money.
Also a slang term getting the munchies on a Monday.
idipityp:
A disease causing the infected to pity the fool and pity him hard.
Fatlex: Lex Luther's nickname at 75.
Gforce: What Kirk showed the Orion Slave Girls.
Epicant: What the Orion Slave Girls said about Kirk behind his back.
Tedonch: An unused graphic from the Batman TV series.
Opreh: The Original Oprah Winfrey Tribute Show!
Shnesat: An enthusiastic compliment. Ken Levine is the shnesat.
inorit: What a wife expects her husband to do when she makes a mistake.
soldel: When a man or woman loves their Dell computer so much they swear off any future relationships.
jawkifin: Sexual act preformed on a fish or dolphin that is normally considered illegal (AK, VT, KY and HI not applicable) unless said fish or dolphin is considered an endangered species.
shouil
An expression of disbelief that someone will actually do something. Example: "You're all going to vote for this as the funniest definition? Sho u il!"
OK, is this the part where we go all Katherine Heigly, and also take ourselves out of the running -- not because we've previously gone home with a statuette, but because our own word verification writing staff isn't giving us anything as good to work with this season as Bosley, blogward, James and Morris?
Or are we allowed to keep rejecting word verifiers until we get better material?
In the words of Jerry Lewis, this has me going all plearnm. Ephing plearmn!!!
quitut: how to fire someone like an Egyptian
rancy: Pet name Ronald Reagan gave to his wife after he found out she was a freak in bed.
carip: when you let one go while driving
shalf: dwarfspoitation film from the early seventies about a short private dick who's one short mother--(shut your mouth)--I'm just talkin' bout Shalf. (Movie slogan? "Size DOES matter.")
ponchili: Erik Estrada's latest line of Mexican food products
subdomel: Name given to Alice's boss after he went on strike.
gropa: What your Grandfather does to your girlfreind when he's drunk.
rensa - /ren-suh/ (n.) Organization for retarded geniuses. (Must have IQ of at least lawnchair doodlebug to qualify for membership.)
philin: when Regis guest-hosts.
watra - /wot-ruh/ (n.) The last position in the Kama Sutra. The one that makes your wife say, "WHAT???"
jimpl: a genital pimple
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