Sunday, April 18, 2010

When you read this I may be over your house

I’m hitting the road with the Dodgers. Will be going to Cincinnati on Monday (Yes, I will give Skyline Chili another chance), Washington D.C. (let’s see if Senator Franken remembers me), and Gotham. I’ll be doing my Dodger Talk shows from those venues. One tiny complication – this pesky viral infection I have in one eye that has rendered it almost blind temporarily. Slowly it’s improving and I can now make out blobs! You do not want me filling in doing the play-by-play. “There’s a fly ball into the oil dissolve you see whenever a show does a flashback.” The station might get some calls.

But I’m armed with a million eye drops and steroids. By the time we hit New York my head should be the size of Barry Bond’s. One of the drops needs to be refrigerated at all times so that’s going to be fun maneuvering. It sounds like my own personal AMAZING RACE challenge. Still, I’m sure there are fans who do it with beer.

The good news is I don’t have to worry about driving. I just get on the bus. However, if you hear a Dodger game is cancelled this week you’ll know it’s because they asked me to drive the bus.

Last year in Cincinnati I met a number of fans of the blog. Would love to do that again in all three stops. And hopefully my vision will improve enough that I and hopefully by then I’ll be able to see you. At the moment my recognition is limited to mascots. But email me if you’re going to games in any of those cities and we’ll try to hook up.

And if you’re a Reds, Nationals, or Mets fan, take heart. Even though I can now easily hit 30 home runs, I promise not to play. Although I bet hitters would sure hate facing a guy on the mound that who can only pitch to the plate if his catcher whistles first.

17 comments :

  1. Big fan of your blog...going to one of the games in DC. Not sure how to email you, however.

    Sorry -- would have made this note in GIANT font size...but blogger doesn't support that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Would love to make it out to a Cincinnati game--I'm only about 90 miles down the Ohio River in Madison, IN--but this isn't the week. Are you likely to come back through later in the season?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Byrum Saam did Phillies and/or A's games (he moved between the two teams) from 1937 to 1975. In his later years, he had cataracts he didn't get fixed, and Richie Ashburn, who did color, sometimes had to show him where the ball was. One time Saam said, "There's a ground ball to short ... and it's gone!"

    To be fair, artificial turf, especially when it faded, could make it tough to pick up the ball. Jack Buck once said, "There a fly ball to right, Ozzie scoops it up on one hop at short and throws him out." On a Dodger broadcast one time, Jerry Doggett said, "Swing and ... he hit it, but I can't see where the ball went on the turf," and Ross Porter leaned in to say where it went. So, Ken, don't feel bad!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Email me at bossjock@dslextreme.com

    Ken

    ReplyDelete
  5. Even in your current state, you'll still probably be able to distinguish routine fly balls from home runs better than Steiner can.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ken, you probably really are over my home here in Louisville on the way to Cincinnati. Too bad I'm not a sports fan.

    All the same, you should come see the Louisville Bats play sometime in Slugger Field. It's done in the style of the old-time ball fields. My family and I go a couple times a year -- even though I'm not a baseball fan, they serve brats and beer!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good luck with your attempt at trying Skyline Chili again. They now have a Walking 3-Way(basically Cincinnati Chili in a small cup) at Great American Ball Park for the not-at-all-completely-ridiculous price of seven dollars. You can add diarrhea to your list of medical maladies afterwords.

    If you don't like that, they also now offer Sushi there. This was quite the controversy in Cincinnati and on the airwaves of WLW 700AM for several days. One caller to the station actually claimed the residents won't stand for it because they're losing jobs overseas to people in Japan, and don't want to be reminded of it when they go to the Ballpark. I wish I was making that up.

    Anyways, as one of the lucky souls to meet Ken last year in Cincinnati, I highly recommend it to the faithful readers of this blog. You won't be sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  8. All I can say is ARRRRRRR, Matey.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sorry I won't be able to meet you again this year in Cincinnati, Ken! But I'm glad you're giving Skyline another try. :-) Don't forget to get some Graeter's ice cream, too. That is usually a better bet for most people new to Cincy cuisine.

    Enjoy your road trip, and I really hope your eye gets better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pizza party at Ray's (the real one, on Prince Street just west of Bowery) whenever you say.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I work about 4 blocks from Great American Ballpark and wouldn't mind meeting up for a drink or what not.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you ever fly to Miami for Dodgers-Marlins, I'd go to a game just to say hi and buy you a beer, even though I'm a Phillies fan.

    Ken, can you get one of those portable refrigerator bags that diabetics use for their insulin?

    wv= brutch -- brunch with lesbians?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Don't walk to far out of the main side exit to the Nats' ballpark if you've got eye problems. You might fall into the Anacostia, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone (only in Washington would you put the main fan entrance to the ballpark the furthest away from all the seats, behind the left-centerfield bleachers. But it does put you close to the Five Guys burger stand in right-centerfield...)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hope your eye heals quickly, Ken. But if it doesn't and for some reason you cannot broadcast, Im qualified to be your sub since I can see the lights of Great American ball park from my condo. I somehow missed the hookup last time, but I would love to try to meet you and the Cincy gang.
    wv: flatophs: what you call a Russian who wears a crew cut. What?

    ReplyDelete
  15. You can try Cincinnati chili, Washington style, at Hard Times Cafe -- which is along the third-base line at Nationals Park, not far from Ben's Chili Bowl (a D.C. institution, beloved by Bill Cosby and others for the legendary half-smoke). Hard Times makes Cincinnati, Texas and Terlingua chili, all of which are splendid.

    Oh, and the Nats are playing good baseball of late; they won't contend, but won't embarrass themselves, either. However, D.C. fans are understandably focused on the Capitals, who may have come alive in the playoffs after a sluggish start.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Don't forget that ice cream place, it's wayyyyy better than the chili.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ken,

    Couldn't make it down from Indianapolis this go 'round. We'll have to shoot for June.

    ReplyDelete

NOTE: Even though leaving a comment anonymously is an option here, we really discourage that. Please use a name using the Name/URL option. Invent one if you must. Be creative. Anonymous comments are subject to deletion. Thanks.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.