Monday, August 24, 2020

Floor is Lava

On Netflix last night I came across FLOOR IS LAVA. In as much as I’m always on the lookout for stupid reality and game shows, this one fits the bill. Teams have to go through a series of rooms and hop from object to object without falling into the “lava.” If they fall into the “lava” they’re eliminated.

So you have to scale walls with bugs on them, leap from tables to couches, jump onto giant tiki heads, etc. I don’t think Simon Cowell will be playing this game anytime soon.

I think the grand prize is $10,000 and lava lamp. Not worth a permanent groin injury in my estimation.

My thought while watching this was: Okay, so these are the people too stupid to wear masks.

I suppose the attraction is the physical comedy of watching people fall into what looks like orange Gatorade or landing wrong on a crate and crushing their nuts, but to me it’s the idiocy of these people attempting these feats.

I also wonder this: I know on FEAR FACTOR (another show for the Mensa crowd), people were hired to test the stunts. If the test subject could eat 20 dung beetles, the TV contestant would only have to eat 15. (So you want a job in show business?) I’m sure there were testers employed for FLOOR IS LAVA. Just how far should the objects be from one another? Is it reasonable to assume someone can jump 6 feet, or 7 feet? How many test subjects knocked their teeth out landing wrong on a rock? They probably make minimum wage and no lava lamp.

Sidebar trivia nugget: In the 1950’s there was a game show called BEAT THE CLOCK where contestants had to complete wacky stunts within a certain period of time. They too had test subjects. One of them was the actor James Dean.

FLOOR IS LAVA is on Netflix. It must be porn to stunt people. Here’s a few examples. You won’t be seeing me appearing on this show.

21 comments :

  1. Have you watched Ted Lasso? I really enjoy it and would love your review

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  2. Arlen Peters8/24/2020 6:43 AM

    I'm always amazed the crap people will watch. Here's a good suggestion: read a book!

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  3. I watch primarily for the host's smart ass comments. And it gives me some satisfaction when the most testosterone-laden of players succumbs to the lava.

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  4. FRIDAY QUESTION: I enjoy your podcasts (yes, I've given you a five-star review). If it does not cause any sponsor issues, what mic do you use to record in your home studio and what do you use when you record remotely?

    Also, for weird game shows, take a look at this excerpt from 1958's "Brains and Brawn", complete with oh-so-naughty slide whistle and on-air smoking.

    https://youtu.be/ejDy3xCzt20?t=1010

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  5. Friday question: SEINFELD only had 4 regular characters, with lots of memorable recurring characters (even Newman only appeared in about 1/4 of the episodes). Did you prefer to write for shows with smaller casts or was it tougher generating new story ideas?

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  6. James Dean didn't last long as a Beat the Clock stunt tester. At age 21 and in great shape, he was so agile and completed the stunts so easily the production company couldn't gauge how well the "average" person would do. So he was let go.

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  7. It amazes me that they take childhood games and turn them into game shows. We played this all the time as a kid, only we called it the floor is sharks. If they want it realistic, you should get beaten by an old woman if you fall in, since that's what always happened to us when mom heard us destroying the living room.

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  8. Friday question - since you seem to appreciate British humour, what do you think of Charlie Brooker ? His yearly "wipe" reviews (that sounds rude) are both hilarious, and terrifying. He also created/wrote the wonderfully goofy parody of British police procedurals "A Touch of Cloth."

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  9. At least we have the Kramden/Norton BEAT THE CLOCK appearance preserved. Don't you wish all reality contestants were played by Gleason and Carney?

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  10. "Beat the Clock" had a host with an unusual last name, Jack Narz. He did many games shows in the late 50's through the early 70's.

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  11. I've seen the Lava show also. (kids wanted to watch it) It isn't toooo bad if you watch 1 episode for the fails. But by the 3rd show, you've seen enough.

    But there are a few other shows like that on network TV, CannonBall, Holey Moley, Wipeout. The original Wipeout was from Japan, and what was great about them, was the english narration, was funny.

    But this all has to do with watching other people fail. Fail Army is a popular Youtube channel, even has an IP Tv channel. I thought I had it bad, but look at that dork just fall into a ball pit covered in honey!

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  12. Let's see...it was innovative, original, entertaining, and well produced. No wonder you hate it.

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  13. I'll take What's My Line or the old To Tell the Truth with Garry Moore and company, thank you very much.

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  14. Troy McClure8/24/2020 11:55 AM

    Whenever the subject of crazy game shows comes up, I think of the wonderful Clive James, who's sadly no longer with us. He was a great wit, TV host and writer who became hugely loved and popular in Britain for his TV shows in which he provided hilarious commentary to wacky Japanese game shows and American high school sex education films from the 50s. There are lots of clips on YouTube for anyone who's interested.

    Today, there's no longer any novelty to seeing clips of weird foreign shows, and there's no shortage of people who think they can provide funny commentary, even though most of them can't. But in a world before the internet, Clive introduced the public to the legendary Japanese game show Endurance and his brand of mockery and sarcasm was gold.

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  15. Community did this
    "Geothermal Escapism"
    Season 5, Episode 5
    They also did Pillow/blanket forts and Paintball Wars.

    I appreciate that show more and more.
    Imagine if Tina Fey joined Dan Harmon to do 30RockCommunity. WOW!

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  16. Go from obstacle to obstacle without falling in the lava? It's called American Ninja Warrior.

    No one cares to see you on the show Ken. What we want to know is how would you write the show?

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  17. A favorite Addams cartoon showed a torture chamber with hooded jailers, a Fester-type judge and some frightened people sitting on a bench. A cheery announcer stood at microphone. "And now, the makers of Sun-Go Toilet Soap bring you a different kind of quiz show!"

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  18. Nick from Vancouver8/24/2020 4:16 PM

    This sounds like a variation on the Japanese game show "Takeshi's Castle" (dubbed into English as "Most Extreme Elimination") which was cancelled 30 years ago and featured a bunch of idiots doing things that would inevitably result in minor injury. The English version was only notable in that the dubbing bore no resemblance to the original dialogue and was filled with some of the most puerile innuendo ever. It got old real fast. I predict a similar fate for "Floor is Lava", but won't be bothering to follow it to see if I'm right.

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  19. Besides Floor is Lava, there's a performer named Groundislava.

    https://twitter.com/Groundislava?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundislava

    His Dad did the a ha video Take On Me and Paul Abdul's Opposites attract, so there's that.

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  20. My two-year old grandson absolutely loves this program. His big sisters (4 and 7) like it also, if not as much. I was obliged to sit through an episode recently and was not nearly as impressed as they were, but viewed as a children's entertainment (perhaps one even suggested by a visual in the Pixar movie Inside Out) it's not so terrible. (Consider alternatives such as Octonauts or Paw Patrol -- as a grandfather, I'm sure you've been exposed to these as well.)

    What sort of children's programming would you recommend? And, if you were given the opportunity to create a children's show, and making the further enormous assumption that your vision would be realized without network interference, what would your program look like?

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  21. My family really enjoyed this show. It reminded us of WIPEOUT, which we still miss. There's nothing wrong with stupid shows like this. At least it's not the Kardashians or some other crap like that.

    Hey, here's an idea: why not watch something like this, AND still read a book or do something else more worth-while? It's not like we can only pick one or the other.

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