Hilarious unsold pilots

You think some of today’s shows are strange? Friend of the blog and writer extraordinaire, Lee Goldberg once wrote a book listing unsold TV pilots from 1955-1990.  He has recently updated it.  You can buy it here.  I recommend it.  Some of these are priceless.  These are actual projects.  Writers pitched them with a straight face and sold them.  Scripts were commissioned and then networks said, "Sure, we'll shell out millions of dollar to make these".   Can you imagine what didn't get picked up?   Anyway, with the new development season in full swing, let's go back and relive past gems. 

 
DANGER TEAM ABC-1990 – Kathleen Beller plays a bookkeeper-turned-private eye who solves crimes with the help of three animated clay figures. (Whatever happened to Kathleen Beller (pictured above)? She was soooo hot.)

GOOD AGAINST EVIL ABC-1977 -- Dack Rambo is a writer who happens to fall in love with Satan’s girlfriend.  (Don't you hate it when that happens?)

HIGH RISK ABC-1976 -- Six former circus performers team up to solve crimes. (A better title might have been JUSTICE DU SOLEIL.  Notice how many of these delightful dramas were developed by ABC?)

JUDGE DEE ABC-1974 -- Khigh Dhiegh is a roving judge in seventh century China, deciding right and wrong and solving crimes. (We had an idea for a show but it was set in the eighth century and no one wants that era.)

MADAME SIN ABC-1972 – Maybe my favorite of all of them. Bette Davis as an all-powerful dragon lady who kidnaps a former C.I.A. agent (Robert Wagner), brainwashes him with a special ray gun, and enlists him in her high-tech global intelligence agency that operates out of her Scottish castle. (Again, I'm not making these up. I couldn't.)

McCLONE NBC-1988 – Master thespian, Howie Long is pursued by evil clones.

MOMMA THE DETECTIVE CBS-1981 – Esther Rolle (from GOOD TIMES) as a maid who solves crimes.

NICK KNIGHT CBS-1989 – I bet we see a new version of this in like five minutes. Rick Springfield is a crimefighting vampire on the San Francisco police force.

HURRICANE ISLAND & STRANDED – two of the many “people are shipwrecked on a remote island” pilots. But none of them had the hatch.

ETHEL IS AN ELEPHANT CBS-1980 -- A New York photographer who shares his apartment with a baby elephant.

GREAT DAY ABC-1977 -- As described: “This pilot was supposed to illustrate how fun life is as a skid row bum in New York’s bowery.” Featured in the cast: Billy Barty and Spo-De-Odee.

A LITTLE BIT STRANGE NBC-1989 – A widower raising a bizarre family. He and his son are warlocks, his daughter is a witch, his mother-in-law is psychic, his brother a soul-singing bat (yes, a bat), and his nephew is made of mud. A “normal” girl marries into this family.

MARS: BASE ONE CBS-1988 -- A family adjusting to life on Mars, where they live next door to a Soviet technician and his American-stripper wife. (Note: the 1988 WGA strike forced cancellation of this project. I think part of the problem was that they wanted to shoot on location.)

MIXED NUTS ABC-1977 – (not to be confused with MIXED NUTS -- one of the worst movies of all time) The lives and hilarious misadventures of the doctors and psychiatric patients of a mental institution.

MR. AND MRS. DRACULA ABC-1980, 1981 -- The Dracula family moves to a New York apartment. In the second version they live in the South Bronx. Okay, now that makes sense.

SGT. T.K. YU NBC-1979 – Korean stand-up comic Johnny Yune is a Korean LAPD detective/stand-up comic. (This pilot was in competition with one of ours, about a guy-girl comedy team. And neither got on the schedule. Instead, NBC picked up PINK LADY AND JEFF, a comedy-variety show starring a stand-up comic and Japanese girl group who couldn’t speak English.  Sometimes the most absurd pilot gets on the air.)

Tomorrow: More pilots include one with Alan Alda raising an invisible baby and Sonny Bono fighting crime.  You're gonna wanna be here!

9-11 and David & Lynn Angell

I re-post this every year on this date and always will. 

9/11 affected us all, profoundly and in many cases personally. Two of my dear friends were on flight 11. David and Lynn Angell. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of them, missed them, and not felt grateful that they were in my life.

David and I worked together on CHEERS, WINGS, and FRASIER (the latter two he co-created). We used to call him the “dean”. In his quiet way he was the one we always looked to for final approval of a line or a story direction. He brought a warmth and humanity to his writing that hopefully rubbed off on the rest of us “schickmeisters”. And he could be funny – sneaky funny. During long rewrite sessions he tended to be quiet. Maybe two or three times a night he’d pitch a joke – but they were always the funniest jokes of the script.

For those of you hoping to become comedy writers yourselves, let David Angell be your inspiration. Before breaking in he worked in the U.S. Army, the Pentagon, an insurance firm, an engineering company, and then when he finally moved out to L.A. he did “virtually every temp job known to man” for five years. Sometimes even the greatest talents take awhile to be recognized.

I first met David the first season of CHEERS. He came in to pitch some stories. He had been recommended after writing a good NEWHART episode. This shy quiet man who looked more like a quantum physics professor than a comedy writer, slinked into the room, mumbled through his story pitches, and we all thought, “is this the right guy? He sure doesn’t seem funny.” Still, he was given an assignment (“Pick a con…any con”) and when the script came back everyone was just blown away. He was quickly given a second assignment (“Someone single, someone blue”) and that draft came back even better. I think the first order of business for the next season was to hire David Angell on staff.

After 9/11, David’s partners Peter Casey & David Lee called me and my partner into their office. There was a FRASIER script David Angell was about to write. (It was the one where Lilith’s brother arrived in a wheelchair and became an evangelist. Michael Keaton played the part.) Peter & David asked if we would write it and for me that was a greater honor than even winning an Emmy.

David’s wife, Lynn, was also an inspiration. She devoted her life to helping others – tirelessly working on creating a children’s library and a center that serves abused children.

My heart goes out to their families. To all of the families.

I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

So tragic, so senseless, and even fourteen years later, so inconceivable.

Friday Questions on Thursday

I’m doing Friday Questions on Thursday this week only. But tomorrow is 9-11 and I always repost my piece on David & Lynn Angell on that date. Friday Questions return to Friday next week.

Wendy M. Grossman asks:

Do you find it easier to track character and plot details and remain consistent over a long period of time now that we have computer databases and easier means of updating documents like the show's bible?

Yes, it’s much easier to monitor continuity IF….

the producers and writers bother to check. But honestly, most of the time they don’t. And things do occasionally fall between the cracks so the writers will give a character a sister when he once had a brother, etc.

When I was on CHEERS and FRASIER it wasn’t enough that we had once done a similar story. We tried to make sure that no other show had done that story. If we were going down a road and someone in the room said MURPHY BROWN did something similar we threw the story out. So we were trying to monitor everybody.  There were times we were more successful than others. 

Mark wonders:

Why is stupid funny? I know that in many commercials it's just bad writers taking the easy way out, but what about with Extras (an amazing show) with the girl friend who was just painfully stupid. Or the roommate in Notting Hill. There have been characters who weren't very smart but they had redeeming qualities (Don Knotts on Andy Griffith, Coach on Cheers but maybe they were just naive and unworldly rather than not very smart), but I just don't get these. Especially the commercials when I wonder if they think their aim is only to sell to idiots.

So, is stupid funny or not? Isn't it a difficult knife edge to walk along to do it right?

This is pure speculation on my part, supported by no empirical evidence whatsoever, but I think dumb characters give us a sense of superiority. Look how much smarter we are.

As I’ve said in the past, dumb characters also allow us to provide exposition for the dumb audience members out there. When the smart character explains to the dummy what’s going on, he’s actually explaining it to equally clueless segment of the audience.

From Greg:

When shooting a multi-cam show, how often would you go on location?

Depends on the show, the budget, and most importantly – how large the soundstage is.  Generally, though, you try to avoid it.  Going out is expensive, time consuming, and the studio audience always feels a little cheated. 

But I’ve shot outside many times for multi-cam shows. I’ve probably filmed scenes on the Paramount New York street at least a half dozen times. In one case there was a traffic jam with snow.

I’ve filmed out at Griffith Park. One of my actors wrenched his back and had to be taken to the hospital on a stretcher. That was take one.

I’ve filmed on the 20th backlot, the Radford backlot, but the most fun was a big crowd scene for an episode of DHARMA & GREG. We shot at Ghiradelli Square in San Francisco. I had about 100 extras, scaffolding, cameras in sniper positions, and a million guys on walkie-talkies named “Dave.” I really felt like David Lean that night.

DrBOP is next:

Absolutely stoopid question, but do you always wear a suit on the day of a shoot?

On a multi-camera show in front of an audience, yes, I always wear a suit when I direct. Even if I’m not directing, If I’m on the floor at all, as either a producer or writer I wear a suit.

Why?  It’s just a sign of respect for the audience. And I liken it to basketball head coaches. They always dress nice for games. I just think it’s a classy thing to do.

What’s your Friday Question? Just leave it in the comments section. Thanks.

The first Stephen Colbert Show

This is one of those reviews where I’m more interested in what you guys think. Here’s why? After watching the first Stephen Colbert Show I checked out some reviews to see how they jibed with mine and they were totally opposite. And of course, far be it for me to tell the New York Times they’re wrong. (They’ve been known to throw my Sunday paper on the roof.)

So I’ll share my thoughts with curiosity as to whether they’re shared or singular. Please weigh in and since politics may rear its ugly head, don’t attack each other.

Ready? Here we go.

Oh wait. Not yet. First a disclaimer:

I love Stephen Colbert. I’m a huge fan. I applauded when I learned he got this gig. He’s enormously talented, is an amazing interviewer (no one has a quicker or funnier mind), and he can even sing and dance.

Now I’ll begin.

No, no. One more thing. Sorry.

He was under enormous pressure last night. The expectations were unrealistically high. There was the whole summer build-up, a big audience, and a culture that makes its mind up in 140 seconds and characters or less. Good luck feeling comfortable under those conditions. And the key to success in one of those late night shows is putting the viewers at ease.  It’s hard to do that when you have enough adrenaline coursing through your veins to lift a Buick.

Now to the review.

I thought last night’s show was the first waffle you make Sunday morning and throw away. I have high hopes for the Colbert show, but it’s going to take some time and adjustments.

Understandably, he was trying way too hard. Again, the expectations. The local CBS affiliate in Los Angeles had a countdown in the bottom corner of the screen during its 11:00 news. “Once we get through this gang war shooting we got COMEDY coming up in only 9 minutes! Now 8 minutes!”

But my big problem was he didn’t know who he wanted to be. And that’s what he’ll have to settle on and grow into. Was he the goofy guy dancing around at the beginning? A zany irreverent host with pre-taped bits? A character similar to the one he played on COMEDY CENTRAL? A political pundit? Will he be sincere or a put on? At times he was all of these. Pick one (my vote is the political pundit).

One thing about Letterman, from the day he first stepped out onto the stage for his NBC morning show he had his persona down. I’m certain Stephen will find his. But sooner rather than later.

The only time he felt relaxed and in his element was the interview with Jeb Bush. That was by far the highlight. And way better than his interview with George Clooney. That was clearly rehearsed and forced. The phony movie clips were really lame. The truth is he had nothing to ask him. Give Colbert a reason to interview someone and nobody is better or funnier.

I worry that doing a mainstream latenight talk show he’ll be saddled with too many Sofia Vergaras. That’s like asking Peter Serkin to play “Chopsticks.”

I liked the hummus commercial and some of the Donald Trump jokes, but Trump is such an easy target. Was he really worth devoting five minutes? I was hoping for something with a little more bite.  Have we forgotten Mike Huckabee already?

The few major newspaper reviews I read loved the show (and maybe you did too -- I want to know). But as I was watching I tried to imagine people who were not intimately familiar with Stephen Colbert. He may be an icon to us cool kids, but I bet there are way more people than you think who really don’t know him. Or never got that he was playing a satiric character on THE COLBERT REPORT. Based on last night, I’m not sure they were knocked out.  And winning them over is more important than winning me over. 

But to those new to the dance, I ask you not to judge based on one show (unless you loved it). Give him a chance.  This show is on five nights a week every week.  It's a work-in-progress.  Stephen Colbert is smart, incredibly funny, and he’ll figure it out. When he does he could have the best latenight show of the bunch. Of course, by then the New York Times will hate him.

Oh shit.  There goes my paper on the garage again.  

So what did you think? 

Viva Las Vegas

Hello. Back from Las Vegas where I had a speaking engagement as a fundraiser for the Doberman Rescue of Nevada. He hasn’t worked since THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW. Stayed at New York New York. You never know when you might bump into Sondheim at the quarter slots.

Less than 40% of Vegas income now comes from gaming. The big $$$$ these days is in nightclubs and now dayclubs – crazy decadent hotel pool parties, where Jesse Pinkman and his goofball friends from BREAKING BAD can lose fortunes of drug money, destroy their livers, and still not get laid.

Lots of New Yorkers stay at New York, New York. Why? The inside is supposed to duplicate Manhattan but it looks like Sesame Street during nuclear winter. And I’m not sure nature lovers will be fooled by the Central Park themed casino.

Haven’t you native NY’ers ever wanted to go to Europe? Paris is only a block away.

Oops. The U.S. postal stamp of the Statue of Liberty was based on the Las Vegas replica, not the real one. You’ll notice on the stamp Lady Liberty looks more like a showgirl than the original. Lawsuits are pending.

I requested a quiet room, and was given one… except when the Big Apple roller coaster went by every two minutes with people screaming their brains out.

Meanwhile, Celine Dion is back in residency at Caesar’s. She hits that high note in “All By Myself” and windows shatter nightly in the Octavius tower.

The Linq Hotel has a Ferris wheel larger than the one in London. Good luck to the folks in rooms near that behemoth. Each pod has its own bar and can hold up to forty drunks. Must be real fun when those suspended pods start swaying. Forget the noise; you don’t want to be walking underneath that thing.

The Linq is the old Imperial Palace (and the former Quad Resort). Gone are the “enterdealers” or “dealertrainers” or whatever the hell they were called. Stevie Wonder is no longer dealing blackjack. But the auto collection remains. I wonder if the big attraction is still Hitler’s towncar. If you can’t see the fountains at the Bellagio or the erupting volcano at the Mirage at least you can catch der Fuhrer’s ride.

Add caption

Security at the Linq is very tight.  You don't want to mess with one of these guys.  

At one time Sinatra was a headliner. Now it’s the ventriloquist from AMERICA’S GOT TALENT.

Of course the Trump hotel has the word TRUMP prominently emblazoned everywhere. In a gambling town why advertise LOSER?

New to Vegas to help class up the joint: A replica of the famous Manneken Pis bronze sculpture of a little boy urinating. It’s now proudly peeing in front of the D Hotel downtown. After midnight you can see real people doing it.

The Aria Hotel offers an hour-long “indoor hike” through its casino, facilities, and shops. Las Vegas -- your healthy getaway.

Went on two local TV morning shows to promote my appearance. My 6:00 AM wake up call was the rollercoaster. On one show the two co-hosts asked the audience to vote on their favorite breakfast food. Matzo brei did not make the top five. I followed a cowboy promoting barrel races. We had so much to discuss in the green room.

Treasure Island has discontinued its live mermaid show. The ship is gone, replaced by a CVS. Is there no Historical Society in Las Vegas?

My idea for a theme hotel: Woodstock. Buy an empty field, charge people $200 a night to sleep on the ground in the dirt, erect a stage, and hire Ten Years After and Sha-Na-Na to play twelve-hour sets.

There are walkway bridges on the strip and sidewalks bordered by wrought-iron fences to keep pedestrians off the street. And yet, one or two pickled cretins are hit by cars a week. Typical last words have been: “Parr-tayyy!” “Whoooo!” and “Hey, which one of these is Hitler’s car?”

Sheri’s Ranch in nearby Pahrump, Nevada stages concerts along with its brothel activity. So when wives check credit card bills husbands can say they were there for a show. Wives might still be wary. “You spent $1,000 to see Paul Revere and the Raiders?”

If you go to the “Divas,” female impersonator show at the Linq you get a coupon for a free buffet and you can see a Britney Spears impersonator who is probably better than the real Britney Spears appearing across the street at Planet Hollywood.

But wait! There’s also a Prince tribute show (or is it “the artist known as the impersonator of the artist known as Prince”?), a Michael Jackson tribute show (for adults 9 and older), Sinatra tribute show (this guy is such a good mimic he even roughs people up like Frank), Bee Gees tribute show (which should be called “Stayin’ Alive”), and Four Seasons tribute show (JERSEY BOYS). I spoke at the Las Vegas Academy of the Arts. Good turnout but I’m sure more would have attended if a Ken Levine impersonator had appeared instead.

The 14th floor pool has reopened at the Cosmopolitan Hotel following its recent pool fire. The fake palm trees and cabanas went up faster than a Ford Pinto. Note to poolside partygoers: Yell “Fire!” not “Awesome!” Guests on higher floors went out to their balcony to watch the blaze and smoke got sucked into their rooms thus setting off the smoke alarms resulting in several floors being evacuated. I personally, might not have waited for the alarms to flee the 30th floor in a hotel fire.

Uber is coming soon to Las Vegas. No official start date has been announced but they should be hitting pedestrians within the next few weeks.

The Hash House a Go Go at the Linq is the Hungry Heifer with Snickers flapjacks.

Which reminds me, Mariah Carey is back soon, but only an impersonator can now fit into her gowns.

Cirque de Soleil has a show in every hotel except Circus Circus.

There’s a Dean Martin Drive that intersects with Jerry Lewis Way. On that corner is a pawnshop. You’d think there’d be a bar and clown college.

Drove by Wayne Newton’s Casa de Shenandoah estate (which is surrounded by pod malls. Wendy’s as far as the eye could see.) Newton has fallen on hard times financially and has been forced to sell his beloved garish complex. Among his debts: $600,000 to the Oakland Airport for parking fees. Jesus, man, take the BART.

I miss the days when the mob owned Vegas and hotels weren’t fairy castles or pyramids, people dressed for the evening, being a VIP didn’t mean you earned rewards points, statues didn’t piss, slots paid off in coins, swimming pools were for swimming, casinos were quiet, and when Elvis came to town it was to film a movie; not marry people. Oh, and there was no crime. But as always, Vegas was great goofy fun. I lost dough but saved Dobermans.

For more of my travelogues, I suggest my book WHERE THE HELL AM I?  TRIPS I HAVE SURVIVED.  You can get a copy for only $3.99.  Here's where you go.  Help support this free blog and provide me the funds to go on other trips.  You'd be surprised how far one can go on $3.99. Thanks.

Bring back Jerry!

Seems like only yesterday the Labor Day holiday songs started flooding the radio. As I sit here on this low cyber-traffic weekend I’m reminded of how, as a kid, September was always a big month. So much to look forward to.

As hard as it is to believe, when the networks unveiled their fall shows it was a BIG DEAL. A real big deal. Remember “NBC WEEK”? When they rolled out their new fare they also offered full-color glossy yearbooks you could send away for. I must’ve had six. Now it’s “NBC WEAK.” CBS had a half hour “preview show” in which they would show snippets of their new shows. It got the highest rating of the week. During the summer you would watch daytime game shows just to see the promos. ABC usually got the jump on the other networks by premiering their new lineup first. THE JETSONS was water cooler stuff.

And to coincide with the new season, US automakers unveiled their new models for the year. All summer they would tease you by showing the cars hidden under large sheets. Major speculation over whether the Chevy Impala’s fins could get any larger. They were already the size of A-frame houses. And what was this new car Ford was introducing called the Mustang?

And of course, we had the Jerry Lewis Telethon.  Almost 24 hours of the most saccharine, maudlin, cheesy glitz-filled entertainment/sales pitch hosted by the incomparable Jerry Lewis.  At a moment's notice he could go from tears to cross-eyed clown.  And always on hand was Tony Orlando, Norm Crosby, jugglers, and cabaret singers from the best Travelodge lounges in Henderson.   By hour 19 Jerry usually went totally off the rails.  All live.   That, my friends, was MUST SEE TV.

But this year there's hope.  There's a new Neil Patrick Harris live variety show on tap.   Could this be the return of Jerry?  And it's on NBC.  Where can I send away for the yearbook? 

Character actors

My heart goes out to character actors.

When you read casting breakdowns there are a lot more productions seeking, “Male, 30’s, handsome, charming” than “Overweight, 50’s, Italian/Russian mix, unibrow”.

And the few character actors that are successful enough that they don’t have to be service managers at Jiffy Lube ultimately get trapped by their own success. Producers will glance at their headshots or see them read and say, “Him again? Jesus. This guy’s been on a million shows. Can’t we find any new overweight Italian/Russians? “

When you walk into a room and the producers go, “Hey, it’s the ‘can you hear me’ guy!” or “I’ve seen that big white head before. Aren’t you Jack from Jack in the Box?” you’re dead.

Or if a production is to be filmed on location in say, Houston. They’ll cast from the local pool there. Yes, that Nazi soldier might speak with a drawl but it’s cheaper to over-dub him than fly a real Nazi halfway across the country.

And time is never a friend. They get too old to play the cute waitress, the ballplayer, or Julia Roberts’ best friend (although Julia Roberts miraculously never ages herself).

If a character actor isn’t hot agents often lose interest. There’s always some Chihuahua who’s easier to book.

The most heartbreaking casting session I ever held was on MASH. We had a USO subplot in an episode and needed an accordion player. One by one, ten accordion players came in to audition. They all looked right, they all could play “Lady of Spain”. We had to choose one, which we did. But I felt so terrible for the others. How many calls do they get from their agent saying “MASH needs an accordion player”? How many of them kissed their wives goodbye on the way to the casting session saying, “I know I haven’t worked in six years but I’ve got this one!”

So the next time you’re in Jiffy Lube or Wal-Mart or Staples be nice to the clerk. He may be one hell of an accordion player.


This is a re-post from four years ago.

Katey Sagal's first job

In 1985, my partner, David and I created a comeback show for Mary Tyler Moore called (oddly enough) MARY.  We were extremely fortunate to have a great casting director in Molly Lopata.   All summer we spent auditioning actors for the series.  Most you've heard of.  Some even big names.

One day Molly brought in a newcomer to read for the role of Jo Tucker, Mary's acerbic workmate.  We loved her.  She was funny, real, and so fresh.  A definite call-back.

Eventually we had to go to CBS to get cast approval.  They asked to see two candidates for each role.  For the part of Jo we brought in Kathy Bates and this newcomer.  Both were wonderful.  CBS was thrilled with either pick.   We decided to go with the newbie.  There was just something very special about Katey Sagal.

Here is a sample of her work on MARY.  I don't know who put this together but many thanks.   It not not only shows her comedic side but her singing ability too.

Friday Questions

Back from Vegas and I may be broke, but I can still answer some Friday Questions. What’s yours?

Carson Clark asks:

I've been listening to some of the old radio show comedies on the Sirius/XM classics channel. I was wondering what it would be like for you to write a radio comedy script? Would it be easier, more challenging? On a side note, I can believe audiences piled into a theater to watch actors talk into microphones.

In a sense I have written radio plays. Director Jim Burrows always contended that CHEERS episodes were just radio plays. Many times during CHEERS filmings Jim would turn away from the stage and just listen. The cadence and the pace and the words were more important than camera angles.

I agree with him. Today it’s more about style – mockumentaries or shotgun dialogue or naturalistic dialogue so naturalistic that everyone is mumbling.

CHEERS was about characters and attitudes and emotions. To appreciate the show you had to listen. I don’t know if it was easier or harder, but it was more rewarding writing something knowing the writing was the most important factor.

As an experiment, put on a first season episode of CHEERS and turn away from the flatscreen. Just listen. See what you think.

To your other question – I believe people came to watch radio shows for the same reason they come to watch TV shows – to see how they’re made. There’s something special about being on the inside. For audiences used to listening to radio shows it must’ve been a hoot to see how they were done, to watch the guy insert sound effects, to see their beloved actors in person, and for radio there was the added attraction that the shows were going out over the air live. Believe it or not, I’m too young to have ever been in a studio audience of a radio show, but I would have loved it I’m sure.

From Keith:

Friday question: Any thoughts on Antenna TV bringing Johnny Carson back?

I don’t imagine they will hold up all that well overall. The monologues will feel very dated. Spiro Agnew jokes won’t land. The sketches quite frankly, were always hokey.

But what I hope does hold up are the interviews. Carson was an absolute master at those. He got a lot out of his guests, he really listened, and he was incredibly quick with a quip.

Plus, he got good guests. So it will be fun to see some of those.

I suppose there is also the nostalgic value of being able to watch an entire old TONIGHT SHOW and not just clips. It’s like taking the Way-Back Machine for a spin. For me, two or three spins should be enough.

scott has a Friday question regarding sitcom sets:

The interior courthouse set on The Andy Griffith Show is the only set I can recall where we get a 360 degree view of he interior. Were there others that you can recall?

Most single-camera sitcoms have sets that can be shot from any direction. The Swamp on MASH for example.

But what about multi-camera shows, filmed before a studio audience? You’d never expect to see them have a fourth wall.

Well, again I refer you to the first year of CHEERS. In a few episodes there is a fourth wall. You see the other side of the bar. We filmed those angles after the audience had left. The only reason we stopped was because it took too long to bring in the fourth wall, move the cameras into the set, and shoot it. The added depth wasn’t worth the time and effort. But check it out, although not when you’re just listening to an episode.

And finally, from Alex:

Speaking about sets, Ken, I have a question. When a show filmed in front of an audience requires a major change to a set, how is that handled? For example, there is an Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Marie backs the car through Raymond's living room wall. Later in the episode, the wall is repaired again. And there's a Cheers episode where Rebecca turns the pool room into a chili parlor. The pool room is wrecked when the pressure cooker Rebecca is using explodes. When major changes have to made to a set, are those scenes filmed separately from the rest of the episode, or does the audience just sit and wait for the crew to make the necessary changes?

Those scenes are pre-shot, usually the day before. They’re then quickly edited and shown to the studio audience the next night.

However, there have been exceptions. If the big stunt happens at the end of the show sometimes they will film it in front of the audience.

For example, there was a CHEERS episode David Isaacs and I wrote where Cliff was distraught that his mother was selling the family home. So he chained himself to a beam in the living room. Norm eventually talks him into giving up, and saws through the beam. The moment they exit the house the second floor collapses and everything crashes to the ground including a toilet. With the great Jim Burrows directing, we did that live for the audience. Needless to say, they went nuts.

On ALMOST PERFECT I directed a big pie fight and we did that in front of the audience too. Although, to cover my ass, I also pre-filmed it the night before. It took about twelve hours to clean up. I’d hate to be the warm up guy who had to fill twelve hours.

The Fall Preview -- oh boy!

Every January the LA TIMES Calendar section would devote a Sunday edition to all the new movies coming out that year. As you read through the thumbnails you thought, “this is going to be the best year for movies EVER.” Every premise sounded intriguing. Aside from all the sequels (even back then) there was one novel idea after another. And each film had A-list actors, directors, or writers attached.

Then you started watching them as the year unfolded. Ugh! What happened? One LONE RANGER (starring the great Johnny Depp you know) after another.

The following year would be the same thing. And so on.

Now that we’re in September we’re getting assaulted with promotion for the new TV season and movie season. Fall Previews are everywhere. And of course this year there’s not a single project that isn’t a can’t-miss.

Flash forward to November and half the new shows will be cancelled. CBS will wish they still had RULES OF ENGAGEMENT to plug in the lineup. NBC will beg the NFL to let them air football every night. Some highly touted movies will gross eleven cents in three weeks of wide release. And more people will be watching BREAKING BAD on Netflix than the new “hit” series.

With that in mind I recently leafed through ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY’S Fall Preview. Wow zowee! One director’s hands were sweaty because the script was so riveting. Four or five actors were predicted to become breakout stars. Current stars gushed over their upcoming roles. Oscar buzz was everywhere.

And now I realize, I don’t believe ANY of it. They could be touting this new TV series called THE WIRE and I’d be like, “yeah, yeah, probably a piece of shit.” A new STAR WARS is coming! So what? This could be another Jar Jar Binks STAR WARS.

I feel like Charlie Brown and the football. Lucy tees it up, Charlie goes to kick it, she pulls it away, and he falls on his ass. And this happens repeatedly. Charlie never learns. I’ve been so inundated with hype, so besieged with hyperbole that I now don’t buy any of it. Sorry, Lucy, find another chump.

So then I asked myself, “if you feel that way, why are you even reading this?” And my answer was, “You’re right. This is insane” and I tossed the magazine away.

Obviously there will be some Oscar-worthy films coming down the chute in the next couple of months. And one or two new shows (out of eighty) will be worth watching. Please let me know what they are. You guys won’t pull the football out from under me...will you?

Why...?

Why do In & Out burgers taste better off the truck than at their permanent locations?

Why are there rain delays in baseball when it’s not raining? Anticipating rain is not actual rain.

Why do people go to football games in the East and Midwest during December when they’re on television?

Why aren’t the great songwriters of the ‘60s and ‘70s still writing hit songs?

Why are there so few multi-camera shows on television when the ones that are get better ratings than single-camera sitcoms?

Why does Jacksonville, Florida have an NFL team but not Los Angeles?

Why doesn’t Broadway strive to turn out more shows like HAMILTON and FUN HOME and fewer adaptations of franchises, safe revivals, or jukebox musicals?

Why does Donald Trump think a giant fence will keep anybody out?

Why is Adam Sandler still starring in movies?

Why are ice cream sandwiches suddenly the rage?

Why was “Jack” from Jack in the Box dumped?

Why is Batman sleeping with his nanny?

Why did the Red Sox let Don Orsillo go?

Why have stores put up Halloween displays already?

Why do most shows we loved as kids not hold up?

Why the hate for Anna Gunn? She played a thankless role beautifully.

Why am I looking forward to SUPERGIRL?

Why does Hollywood keep remaking old TV shows? And a follow-up question, why haven’t they remade ALMOST PERFECT?

I'm finally playing Vegas!

No, I'm not opening for Sinatra (yet).  But tomorrow night I will be speaking at the Las Vegas Academy of the Arts at 7:00.  I'll be discussing my career and ways to reinvent yourself.   Okay, and maybe I'll sing a few of my hits. 

But it's for a good cause -- the Doberman Rescue of Nevada.  (the dog, not the character in SGT. BILKO)

Tickets are only $29.  I'm also doing a Meet-and-Greet at 6:00 for $49.   You can finally get that selfie with me you've always wanted. 

Tickets are available online.  Just go here.   Again, it's for a really good cause.

So I'm off to Vegas today.   I'll also be appearing on a couple of local morning TV shows to promote the event tomorrow.  Who is awake in Las Vegas in the morning before 9?

See ya in Sin City. 

Who is your favorite TV president?

A recent Reuters poll found that fictional TV presidents scored a much higher approval rating than our actual president. Even Francis Underwood kicked ass. And not only did he kill people, he had the audacity to propose cutting Social Security.

So my question to you, dear reader, is who is your favorite TV president?

Is it Jed Bartlet from WEST WING? I suspect all his votes will come from Blue States.

Francis Underwood and his wife might split his vote.

President Laura Roslin on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has to deal with killer robots but that’s easier than senate subcommittees.

I’m guessing David Palmer from 24 gets a lot of votes. He seems like a strong compassionate leader and you can call him if someone dents your car at Costco.

Ol’ Fitz Grant from SCANDAL should fare better with women and Ashley Madison subscribers.

Mackenzie Allen from COMMANDER IN CHIEF will do better with men (older men).

And Selina Meyer from VEEP is for those who believe the ability to make you laugh is way more important than the ability to lead. I see Trump voters going this route.

There are probably a few I left out. There was a different president every year on 24. And after the pilot I stopped watching MADAM SECRETARY so I have no idea who Tea Leoni is dealing with there.  Write-in votes are acceptable.  Also, there are way too many movie presidents to throw in this mix so I’ll just confine the discussion to TV.

Usually when I post anything even remotely political it results in heated debates. Let’s see how ugly the discussion gets and how personal the attacks are when the fighting is over Jed Bartlet vs. Frank Underwood.

A key to directing

Just finished directing another episode of INSTANT MOM that was written by that sparkling young writing team of Annie Levine & Jonathan Emerson. I’d like to thank them for writing in stunts and a dog. But it was a terrific script and INSTANT MOM has a fabulous cast headed by Tia Mowry-Hardrict, Michael Boatman, and Sheryl Lee Ralph.

Beginning on September 19th it returns to TV LAND with all new episodes from 8-9 PM every Saturday.

Every TV director has a different approach. And every director has different strengths and weaknesses depending upon their background. An actor-turned-director can communicate more easily with actors than an editor-turned-director, but the former editor is probably more way more proficient with the cameras and technical side of the job.

I bring a writing background. As director emeritus Jim Burrows says, “if the script is good you can just point one camera at the stage and the show will work.” I’ve been directing now over twenty years and my skills have improved in both the technical and creative side.  I was able to tell the dog what his motivation was.   All of those aspects are essential, but there’s one other that I think is both key and rarely addressed in college directing classes or how-to books.

And that is this:

A director must set the tone of the stage.

There are a lot of people working on the production of a show. How does a director get the best work out of all of them? Here again, different approaches come into play.

Some directors are demanding, feeling that people perform best if they’re pushed. Others are very hands-on and feel they must control everything.

I think people do their best work when they’re in a comfortable supportive environment. There’s a lot of pressure on a set. You have to shoot difficult scenes with the clock always ticking. Many things are out of your control (how many takes will the dog need to hit his mark -- even if he knows his motivation?). If the director can create a calming tone I believe that’s a real plus. Relieving tension is as important a skill as knowing classic comic tropes, various acting techniques, and what lens goes with what shot.

Directing is a management job. It requires organizational skills, motivation skills, and leadership ability. For my money, a happy cast and crew will result in a better product. I mean, you’re making a TV show. How cool is that? Shouldn’t you WANT to go to work?

That's a wrap.

Thanks to Andrea Wachner, Kevin Corcoran, and Jake O'Flaherty for the cool photos.

Inside THE PRICE IS RIGHT

Today is my daughter Annie's birthday. So as a salute I thought I would reprise something she wrote for the blog a few years ago. Thanks for being such a wonderful daughter. And for being funny. I love you.

My daughter Annie recently attended the taping of THE PRICE IS RIGHT and along with her writing partner, Jon Emerson files this account of it:

Recently, a friend of mine came to visit and wanted to do something “touristy” in the city. I happen to live very close to where they tape THE PRICE IS RIGHT and my dad happens to enjoy getting a day off from blogging, so it didn't take long to put two and two together...

We got in line around six in the morning and were already behind a half-dozen people praying for the chance to “come on down.” A regular Algonquin Round Table. (IKEA round table; actual retail price: $199.)

There was the married couple from Utah who drove ten hours literally just for this taping. As soon as it was over they were headed right back. I didn't ask how he chose which wife to bring, but I assume she was the one who does the grocery shopping.

And Scott, the entrepreneur, whose real goal was to get on SHARK TANK. His latest stroke of genius was a combination watch and stun gun. (Mederma Scar Cream; actual retail price: $20.)

As the line grew behind us, I began to realize we were dressed like complete idiots. In that we were the only ones not dressed like complete idiots. A rainbow of t-shirts covered in blood, sweat, and Puffy Paint. (Dimensional Puffy Fabric Paint; actual retail price: $9.99 for a pack of six.) Each shirt featured witty turns of phrase like “Sock It Drew Me” and “Just Drew It!” I almost Drew my brains out.

In line at six in the morning and we finally got through the CBS gates around nine. Much to our chagrin, we were just put into another line. Our newest line companion was Michael Polosky. This was Michael's thirty-seventh taping of THE PRICE IS RIGHT. He knew every single thing I could have ever wondered about the show except what made me think coming to it was a good idea.

At last we were given the iconic price tag name badges. The show requires you put your full legal first name on the badge, meaning I had to be Diana. Nobody ever calls me Diana, so for all I know, they did call me down and I just ignored it. That'll make for a fun blooper reel. (Game Show Moments Gone Bananas (DVD); actual retail price: $13.)

Everyone in line was divided up into groups of twelve to sixteen people. Each group was interviewed so that the producers could find contestants for this particular episode. Personally, I thought I nailed my interview. I was charming, I was funny, I was a sure-fire TV sensation.

I was seated in the very back row.

We would have been closer to the stage if I sat on my couch at home.

I will say this, though... I don't know if it was the psychedelic set, the allure of winning a trampoline, or what, but as soon as I sat in that metal folding chair, I went from mumbling “I hate this” to screaming “PICK THE KAYAK!” in sixty-seconds flat. (Mark 1 Economy Stopwatch; actual retail price: $8.)

Drew Carey came out, the place went nuts, and only six hours from the time we got in line, we finally heard: “It's the Price is Riiiiiight!”

THE PRICE IS RIGHT is currently involved in a $7.7 million lawsuit. I think the producers might be worried they'll have to pay out because one of the big prizes of the show was a BBQ shaped like a pickle. Sure, people won cars, but I don't remember the old PRICE IS RIGHT requiring you to return those cars to the nearest Enterprise location with the same amount of gas in the tank as when you got it.

For most of the audience (read: old women) the biggest draw of the show was the raw sexual magnetism of Drew Carey...'s male model assistant “Hot Rob.” “Hot Rob” is the first male model the show has ever had. From the looks of him, he gets paid per ab. (Total Gym XLS; actual retail price: $999.)

At one point, Drew read the contestant's bids incorrectly and called the wrong person up to the stage. The audience felt terrible for her as she danced her way up to Drew and then had to walk back to her podium. Then Hot Rob gave her a hug and the audience wanted to kill her.

After the taping, they had us all stay behind to do pick-ups. It was mostly contestants having to recreate their psychotic sprinting from their seats to the stage. Can you imagine? “I'm so sorry you didn't win that trip, that car, any of the furniture, and you got beaten in the Showcase Showdown by only a dollar... But, hey, at least you got that hot dog cooker. Now run down here again and put a little more enthusiasm into it.”

They let us all go home and I have to admit I was thrilled with the experience. Sure, I didn't get called up to be a contestant, but I buy everything with coupons anyway, so how good could I have done?

This particular episode airs tomorrow. I'll be the one way in the back trying to stop a 200 year-old woman from rushing the stage to get at Hot Rob. (Trojan condoms; actual retail price: $14.)

That's the end of this blog post. Thanks for reading and don't forget to have your pets spayed or neutered.

Thanks again to Jon & Diana... I mean Annie.

Why I'm glad I got out of radio

I thank “Kung Fu Fighting.” I was a disc jockey in San Diego in 1974 working the 7-midnight shift. Although we were called a Top 40 station, our playlist was more like Top 20. Research suggested that repetition was the key to rating success so we played the same damn records over and over. The “power” rotation was like five records that played every 70 minutes or so.

There were nights when “Kung Fu Fighting” would come up four times a shift. It was like a drill to my head. I had been flirting with getting out of radio for about a year – maybe try my hand at TV writing if I was good enough and lucky enough to break in – but there was a tugging at my heart. Radio had always been my first love, ever since I was a kid.

I loved the amazing creative disc jockeys like Dick Whittington, Robert W. Morgan, Don MacKinnon, Gary Owens, Dan Ingram, Lohman & Barkley, Bob & Ray, Larry Lujack, Emperor Hudson, Dave Diamond, and of course the incomparable Real Don Steele. Tuning down the dial for non music stations I had Vin Scully calling Dodger games, Chick Hearn calling the Lakers, Bill King describing the Raiders, and dynamic news personalities like Paul Harvey (even I wanted to buy a tractor, he made them sound so inviting).

But I bailed, went into TV and moved on with my dreams. Over the years I’ve kept my hand in radio – weekend disc jockey here, talk show host there, and eventually baseball announcer – but it has always broken my heart to see how the industry has changed, and never for the better.

Once major conglomerates were able to gobble up more than a couple of stations in every market things went from bad to calamitous. Thousands of jobs were eliminated, every corner that could be cut was, commercial loads increased to insane amounts, and the listener was completely disregarded.  Profits.  Profits.  That's all the mattered.  Mortgage any future to make a buck today!

What few precious on air personalities we still have are quickly dwindling. And there’s no one new coming up because who in their right mind would want to begin a career in radio now? That’s like hoping to go into the typewriter manufacturing business.

There were a few more casualties last week. KRTH in Los Angeles, a CBS station, after reaching ratings heights with its ‘80s oldies format, just fired three major reasons why people listened to the station. Shotgun Tom Kelly got left go after 15 years or more. The guy has a fucking star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Also dumped were longtime nighttime jock, Christina Kelley (a wonderful talent), and radio icon Charlie Tuna.

Shotgun was given some bullshit title of “ambassador” and will make personal appearances but that’s just nonsense. He won’t be on the air doing afternoons anymore. And by the way, he sounds as good now as he ever did.

Who will replace them? Actually, the question should be “what” will replace them? Generic voice tracks? Or will they splurge and hire some nobody and pay him minimum wage?

It’s disgraceful and it’s an epidemic. Internet radio and satellite radio and podcasts can’t come fast enough. I recently did the Kevin Smith podcast and I bet ten times as many people heard me than if I were on KRTH – and KRTH gets good ratings. And when you did hear me, you didn’t have to suffer through twenty minutes of horrendous commercials, annoying promos, and idiotic contests.

In the past when a great disc jockey got fired he would simply show up elsewhere. But who knows today? Nobody is hiring. They’re all just firing.

It breaks my heart for so many reasons. It’s like, I’m glad I left my girlfriend when I did, but how tragic that she ended up Krysten Ritter on BREAKING BAD.

Friday Questions

Yes, it’s that time of the week again.

Ted O'Hara with the first Friday Question:

Have you ever found that you've boxed yourself in on future stories due to some plot detail in a past show that seem innocuous at the time? And if so, how did you get out of it?

Yes, it's happened.  You generally try to let time pass and hope no one notices. And yes, that's the chicken shit solution.  In only the second episode of CHEERS we introduced Sam’s ex-wife, primarily for one joke. Later we all thought, why did we do that? We don’t want the added complication of Sam being married before.

So we just ignored that beat as if it never happened. Great storytelling? No. But functional. We've convinced ourselves that it is. 

Sometimes you just ignore the complication and other times you try to explain it away. An example of each:

In an early episode of MASH Harry Morgan appeared as a crazy general (“The General Flipped at Dawn”). Later, of course, he re-appeared as Colonel Potter. Nothing was ever said.

On CHEERS we once established that Frasier’s father was dead. Oops. Tell that to John Mahoney. Later, on the FRASIER episode where Sam Malone visited (written by me and David Isaacs) we explained that Frasier had just said that out of anger.

The truth is there are inconsistencies on most long-running series. It’s understandable. New writers come aboard and don’t know the intricate details of all that went before. Especially before the internet. 

From Andrew:

Have you consciously altered your comedy style over the years? Do you mainly think in single-cam joke form now instead of multi-cam?

We never alter our style to appeal to a certain age group. We write what we think is funny for an intelligent audience. We don’t buy into the thinking that Millennials only want sex jokes or pop culture references.

As for single vs. multi-cam, last year David and I had a pilot at USA (before they shut down their comedy department completely – not our fault, by the way). It was pitched as a single-camera show. They asked if we could change it to multi-cam. I facetiously said, “Sure. In First Draft you can easily just change the template from single to multi-camera. One click and it’s done.”

But seriously, the styles are somewhat different as are the tones. We adjust our approach accordingly.

Since multi-camera shows are filmed before a live studio audience they are constructed more like plays. Dialogue is key and there are more set-up/jokes. The single camera format is more realistic. Laughs come from visual situations as well as witty banter.

Each format has its pluses and minuses. I’ve worked extensively in both. Which one I prefer depends entirely on the premise of the series. Which format lends itself the best to telling the story? MASH in front of an audience would be ridiculous. CHEERS on an empty soundstage would be a waste.  So it varies from project to project.

Anthony asks:

Yesterday's 'Now I Know' email newsletter talked about Jay Winsten bringing the "designated driver" concept to the US and how he worked with tv executives and "convinced many prominent TV shows of the era -- Cheers, the Cosby Show, L.A. Law, and Roseanne are mentioned in various press reports -- to make a positive, story-relevant reference to the designated driver program in various episodes."

How did you feel having to write certain things in? Were there other times you were told to deal with particular issues and how does it change the writing process?

I was never forced to write anything in. But my shows were always on major broadcast networks. In addition to being a writer and producer I consider myself a responsible broadcaster.

I have been privileged to be given an audience of millions of people. I don’t take that responsibility lightly.

So along the way, if I can champion causes such as “designated drivers” or the danger of smoking and do it organically within the fabric of my show, I am happy to do so.

I come from an era where broadcast stations were obligated to program in the public’s best interest.  Otherwise they could lose their license. Those laws are relaxed today to where they’re utterly meaningless, and there are so many other delivery systems that I think the public’s best interest is now a total non-factor.

But television is the greatest form of mass communication the world has ever known. Why not use it for good?

And finally, from Bill Avena:

OK nobody's around so here's my question: did you ever meet the "Richard Hooker" who wrote the original novel?

No. Richard Hooker, whose real name was Dr. H. Richard Hornberger, had sold the film rights to 20th Century Fox for only a few thousand dollars. So needless to say, he was bitter that the franchise went on to earn billions and he got nothing. You could certainly understand why he had no desire to cooperate with us. Also, Dr. Hornberger was a staunch conservative and disapproved of Alan Alda’s very liberal take on the Hawkeye character. According to Dr. Hornberger’s son, he rarely even watched the series. Again, I can’t blame him.

What’s your Friday Question?

Actors breaking up in the middle of a scene

Here’s one of those Friday Questions that became an entire post.

It’s from Tyler:

Do sitcom directors tend to be more amused or irritated by repeated takes being blown by one or more actors in a scene laughing and giggling? Have you worked with any actors who got irked by co-stars who repeatedly did so? I've just been re-watching all the Seinfeld blooper reels (often as funny as the show itself) and Michael Richards at times gets clearly annoyed with blown takes.

Actors infrequently get the giggles so when it happens it’s generally amusing to all concerned. And studio audiences LOVE it. When I direct and it happens I just give the actors a few minutes to regain their composure, well aware that it will still take a few more takes before they can get through the line.

Sometimes these laughing fits come as a result of something so funny in the script or a performance so hilarious that the other actors just can’t hold it.  That's a good thing!

I remember once on CHEERS we used Tony Shaloub as a waiter and he just pulverized everybody. Yes, it resulted in delays but boy was it worth it.

In an episode of FRASIER I directed, two characters came to dinner who had huge noses. I told my camera operators to stay with whoever they were shooting if they were about to lose it. Some of the shots we ended up using were priceless. No actor I’ve ever worked with had more concentration than David Hyde Pierce, and even he was about to explode.

Ray Romano, on EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, was so quick and every so often would toss in a hilarious ad lib that would crack up Patty Heaton. But that was on purpose.

I imagine if an actor breaks up habitually it can get old to his fellow cast mates, but I haven’t seen any instance of the cast getting annoyed (although it sounds like Michael Richards did get annoyed.  

Here’s a sheepish confession: There used to be network specials that aired G-rated bloopers. The director would get a nice royalty if a clip from his episode was used. I was the happy recipient of a few of these checks. So when something goofy occurred like an actor with the chronic giggles, one of my first thoughts was “Ka-ching!”

Harvey Korman was a gifted comic actor who was part of the ensemble of THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW. Fellow cast member Tim Conway could always break him up. I’m going to leave you now with one of the funniest sketches ever on television. Conway is the dentist, Korman is the patient. Watch Korman. This has me in stitches every time even though I’ve seen it twenty times.

Are "stories" still important?

A lot of Millineals say no. They point out that webisodes are very popular and a recent survey claimed that 2:26 is the optimum length. So who needs to kill themselves coming up with stories? They’re a royal pain in the ass to concoct and audiences prefer their entertainment in bite-sized portions. Who needs an ingenious beginning, middle, and end when you can show a cat trying to climb a greased pole?

Here’s the problem with that theory (besides the fact that it’s incredibly lazy) – two minute webisodes are like pieces of candy. There’s no real nourishment, nothing really satisfying or long lasting about them. You watch, you maybe chuckle, and you move on. It’s a little novelty. You never get really invested in the characters.

And that’s the key. Once you care about a character the interest level goes way up. And you need time to create that connection between the character and the viewer.

There have been myriads of entertainment forms down through the ages – from live theater to literature to filmed works of various lengths designed for various screens. But the principle of good drama remains the same. People want to be engrossed, surprised, delighted, taken to new worlds,  scared shitless, aroused, and involved. They want the subject matter to resonate, they want to maybe learn a thing or two along the way, and they want a certain amount of complexity. You can’t live on a diet of mini-Snickers bars (although I am this week directing INSTANT MOM) .

And two-minute programs may happily exist on websites, but networks, movie studios, and premium streaming delivery systems have way more time than two-minute blips to fill.

We live in a world where audiences watch two-minute shows and binge-watch others for six hours at a time.  People binge-watch because they want to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.   That's the result of story. 

Like I ranted about yesterday in my MAN FROM UNCLE pan, good drama is storytelling and the foundation of storytelling has not changed in thousands of years. Like I said, it’s a bitch to break stories. You hit roadblocks, you wrestle with logic, you fight the temptation to do something familiar or clichéd, you search for ways to hide exposition, you constantly question whether the stakes are high enough, the turns are surprising enough, and whether you’ve chosen the correct length to tell the story. And if it’s a comedy, how to do all that and still have the show be funny. Yes, it’s a tall order.

But it’s worth it.

Webisodes are the new thing, yet there’s still room for classic dramatic structure – or, as the ancient Greeks used to call it – old school.