In years past I would satisfy my satirical itch by writing political essays for the Huffington Post. Their commenters were a whole other level of crazy, but who cares? It was a forum for me to express my views. However, when the HuffPost was sold for $360 million and still didn’t pay contributing writers I decided I didn’t need to express myself that badly.
So although I didn’t write about the election, I followed it very closely. I read the articles, watched the debates, researched the issues, and surveyed the various media outlets – even the ones that were reprehensible with commentators who should be shot.
It’s no secret who my candidate was. Longtime readers of this blog know that in all good conscience I just could not vote for Roseanne.
But whereas most people I know – on either side of the aisle – were really sweating out this election – studying polls on a daily basis and analyzing every word of the campaign, I had no anxiety at all. None. I knew who was going to win. The outcome was never in doubt. Personally, I thought the actual “voting” was anti-climatic. And it meant BEN AND KATE was pre-empted.
There’s one true indicator of who will win a presidential election, dear readers, and that is…
Halloween masks.
There were more Obama Halloween masks sold this year than Romney masks. Period. End of story. On to who will win THE VOICE?
I laugh to think that each candidate spent over $100 million on polling research. All they had to do was call one Spirit Halloween store. I’m forever amused at how stupid politicians are.
Again, I would have shared this revelation on the Huffington Post had they paid me, although I have to say Nate Silver did a pretty fair job. Leave it to a baseball guy! I didn’t want to post it on the blog because I’m still getting hate mail for saying I like Ed Asner.
I switched around from network to network. Most ridiculous was ABC's from Times Square. It was NEW ELECTION ROCKIN' EVE. After Obama was projected the winner I expected them to go a tape performance of the Goo Goo Dolls and Maroon 5. And Diane Sawyer sounded like she thought it was New Year's Eve. George S. should have cut her off during the first commercial break.
Best commentator: Bob Schieffer of CBS.
So now comes all the fence mending bullshit… for twenty-four hours. And then it’s business as usual – each party trying to block and smear the other. Each putting their own self-interests above the interests of the people they are sworn to represent. But the commercials will stop. Hallelujah, the commercials will stop.
And I’ll put my Roseanne Halloween mask away until next year.
The Halloween mask depicts someone you consider scary, someone for whom you wouldn't vote. For example, the ever-popular Nixon mask. So Ken buys a Roseanne mask, since he wouldn't vote for her.
ReplyDeleteIf Obama masks outsold Romney masks, shouldn't Romney have won?
I had to leave ABC because of Dianne Sawyer. Many radio stations on the east coast are putting clips of her silliness (drunkeness) together. Too bad, since I love George S and George W on ABC. Could not stay awak for the concession speech, though stayed up long enough to find out who won (and that medical cannibus will soon be legal in MA!)
ReplyDeleteHEATON IS AN ANTI-AMERICAN BITCH!!!
ReplyDelete(Just kidding)
Ahhhh. Relief. No more election craziness for another two years! And I'm not talking about the mid-term elections in 2014. I'm talking about the 2016 candidates launching their campaign for 2016 then. Yes, I know, there are guys already plotting for 2016, but I hope they'll keep it all under the covers until 2014, because I know there's no chance in hell they'll put it off to any later than that.
ReplyDeleteUS voters blew it yesterday, and we will all now suffer through another four years of weak leadership, including:
ReplyDeleteEconomy and debt spiraling deeper out of control.
Philosophy that MORE government is better, and will fix the ills of the people over the individual--private sector that fosters competition and lower prices--(or even leaving issues at the state level).
Claiming to unite the divide btwn the parties--"hope and change"--but then promoting his left wing agenda instead.
Ramming through OwebamaCare, for example, among others, over what was more critical for America's future-- jobs, education etc.
Continuing to deplete the US military and diminishing our stature around the world.
Apologetic to a fault, thus giving *hope* to our enemies to continue their mission of hate and violence.
Arrogant and self-righteous demeanor in general. Above-it-all attitude that they purport.
Tough sell to move to Romney by keeping some of his policy details private, but we would have gotten a smart, successful and motivated LEADER for the US. A decent man with proven successes in multiple venues and industries throughout his career.
What a shame--lost opportunity--to have voted in the same vitriol and ineffective compromiser. It will set us back decades and our children will have to pay for the mistake many US voters made yesterday.
NBC did a good job, Chuck Todd was very informative discussing the details and the broad picture of the election.
ReplyDeleteBest line of the night at NBC maybe came from Bryan Williams. Somebody had just reported the passage of recreational marijuana use in Colorado.
Bryan Williams to the reporter: I'll see you in Boulder.
The clips of Diane Sawyer apparently blotto gives rise to a possible "Friday Question." I suspect you have encountered lots of talent who were over-served or over-medicated just before taping/airing etc. Anything you can do about it? Intravenous Red Bull? Grin and bear it?
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph is one of the best and truest things written about an election. I like it.
ReplyDeleteYou think the commercials were bad in California, try living in a swing state. The phones were ringing off the hook with robo-calls from the RNC.
ReplyDelete"Longtime readers of this blog know that in all good conscience I just could not vote for Roseanne."
ReplyDeleteHer campaign strategy was messed up, you call them asshats after the polls have closed. Whatever your political stripe, , wasn't it all worth to see Donald Trump blowing his stack? I was going to say "tearing his hair out" but I suspect that's some top-quality welding, so no way could he pull that out.
BettyD - I gave up on Diane Sawyer a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling that one of the things that tipped the election was the Romney ad about the the car companies shipping jobs to China, Chrysler's blunt rebuke and giving their workers time off to vote.
I wonder how many people wrote in Alfred E. Newman.
ReplyDeleteI love listening to the right-wing spin doctors in their day-after bitterness (like "JT Anthony" and his delusions above, mixing up NOT returning us to the 1950s with the victory of the team that will prevent our moving backwards with Romnuts), like the ones spewing that "it was a squeaker" and "It was so close, Obama has no mandate." HA! 60-40? That, right-wing fools, is a mandate.
ReplyDeleteI'm not taking your Patricia Heaton bait, delicious as it looks. But I am giving my "Patricia Heaton Chair" a good nasty gloat.
More debt, more dependence on the federal gov't, worse healthcare than our current financially bloated system (ignoring the underlying issues), advancing his own agenda than what the US needed, weak job growth, more vulnerable militarily... "Delusional"? How does his reelection make us better? Are you satisfied with his performance? I'm curious if you're someone who thinks he didn't lie about his knowledge of the Benghazi massacre?
DeletePatricia Heaton! Slowly I turn...
ReplyDelete"...each party trying to block and smear the other. Each putting their own self-interests above the interests of the people they are sworn to represent."
Each?
I'm sorry to break the hysteria but yesterday elections didn't change anything. The American people elected the same president, the same senate (with only 2 democrat seats more than the previous) and the same congress (almost identical numbers of dems vs. reps) This means nothing changed and most probably that nothing will change.
ReplyDeleteSo why doesn't somebody actually explains to me why media labeled these elections as historic today?
It does change things--save the Congress retaining its majority. More nothingness, deeper debt, we will continue to wallow in the same morass we have now. Romney likely would have made positive change.
Delete"Iron Fist said...
ReplyDeleteSo why doesn't somebody actually explains to me why media labeled these elections as historic today?"
Simple, we PREVENTED the teabaggers, the morons, the super-wealthy, the 1%, Patricia Heaton, and the bigots from turning the clock back to 1947. This election wasn't about "Change." That was 2008. Try to keep up. his one was about PREVENTING reversion to Evil.
But yes, more work needs to be done. The House remains in the control of Slytherin and must be held in check until it can be rectified in two years.
Iron Fist, the 2012 Elections were historic in that it was the first election following the U.S. Supreme Court's 2010 ruling in the case of Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (558 U.S. 310), which basically gave corporations, unions, and other organizations the same rights as individuals when it comes to campaign financing. I don't know the exact figures, but when you sum-up all of the different campaigns for every office on the federal, state, county, and local levels, the money spent approaches the hundreds of billions of dollars. Imagine the many others ways that money could have been used for in this crippled economy.
ReplyDeletePatricia Heaton is a succubus from the deepest, darkest pits of Hell. She prowls the night searching for young innocents to lure back to her lair and drain of their life-force.
ReplyDeleteOr, I don't know, maybe she's actually a really nice person. Never met her, couldn't say.
It's an historic election because women, hispanics, african-americans, asians and millennials voted overwhelminging democratic despite [insert anti-Obama rant here] and their votes mattered more than white males.
ReplyDeleteThis demographic change in America is going to change the issues that are debated going forward.
"It's NOT JUST the economy, stupid".
So it wasn't the outcome that was historic, but how we got to the outcome that was.
RCP: Yes, each. If you have an hour to spare and a strong stomach, this is a pretty good (and non-partisan) introduction to the problem.
ReplyDelete"There were more Obama Halloween masks sold this year than Romney masks."
ReplyDeleteWhich is strange, because the Romney mask is MUCH scarier!
BTW, the reason the Benghazi thing isn't taking hold is that most people remember that during Bush's watch 11 embassies were attacked, resulting in a total of over 90 fatalities, and no one said boo about it. Ditto the 241 Marines who died needlessly in Beirut because St. Ronnie ignored warnings to get them the hell out of there. (In his autobiography, Tip O'Neill wrote that he would go to his grave wondering how the hell Reagan got away with it.)
Some of us, JT, live in the reality-based universe, and can smell the BS from miles away.
Why shift the issue to other instances, and not respond to Benghanzi? Your statement doesn't even make sense. You then conclude, without a cogent argument or thought, with living in a reality-based universe, and smelling BS. Huh?
DeleteMy state of Ohio went for Obama, despite the best efforts of our Secretary of State. I'm pleasantly surprised, because I thought all his diabolical scheming might actually work.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with 1947? I was born that year and have a certain affection for it.
ReplyDeleteHi Ken: This is a Friday question.
ReplyDeleteI've heard the terms "Friends People" and "Seinfeld People". Is this distinction something comedy writers are aware of? Is this a style of comedy or does it have to do with likes and dislikes based upon age and/or gender?
Chiming in from the great state of Florida where the ballots still aren't tallied. There might still be people waiting in line to vote. Good thing nobody was counting on the 29 electoral votes.
ReplyDeleteAllegedly they'll fix the problems by 2016 but don't count on it, particularly if a senator from FL is running in the big race.
I watched the ABC Coverage most of the night. Diane's loosey-goosey delivery wasn't the strangest. Sometime in the hours between when Obama was declared the winner and when he actually gave his speech, the commentators started to get downright punchy. One, when making the case that the demography (most over-used word of the night) of American voters has changed, proclaimed numerous times that this might be the last time when two white men run against each other for president.
He said it several times before someone stopped laughing long enough to correct him.
Since I went to be early last night and stayed there there until this morning until awakened, I missed out of Diane Sawyer tipsy/tired/celebrating Colorado's new pot laws across state lines (her hubby and his old comedy partner Elaine May could turn that into a great sketch I suspect), and only caught up with Karl Rove having a meltdown over Ohio this afternoon on You Tube. I have been sick of this election for weeks now, which is what happens when you live in a swing state and somebody in Yonkers calls you at least three times a day for two months straight. (has Dolly Levi-Vandergelder suddenly developed an interest in politics?). I voted back on the 27th of October, the first day of early voting here in Florida, so this campaign has essentially been over for me for over a week (three hours, but it was actually kind of fun, and everybody, including the local candidates who came out to campaign at the library where the polling was held, was on their best behavior).
ReplyDeleteAs per usual, Florida is behaving like the drunken, mentally-diseased uncle at the wedding. It isn't just that we still haven't counted all of our ballots yet, but the fact that Allen West, on of the Tea Party nutcases that was running for re-election is now demanding that all of the voting machines and ballots in St. Lucie County be impounded so that he can uncover proof that there was an organized conspiracy to deny him a second term. Also, the state ballot was longer than the algebra final I took back in late July (11 proposed amendments to the state constitution, most of them the brain-children of one of the Koch Brothers' front groups. Those failed. (Also, two candidates for a statewide office are both members of the same YMCA I go to, and watching them spy on each other to see if The Other Guy is trying to campaign surreptitiously while using the Lateral Chest Press has been entertaining beyond belief.)
The other thing about this whole business I'll miss, oddly enough, is a campaign sign for Mitt Romney (odd, because I voted for Obama and Romney always came across like an unpleasantly aggressive sales rep). It wasn't an official sign, which like all of them is essentially a plastic garbage bag suspended from a metal frame, but a real sign, beautifully lettered and decorated by hand. It's the work of one of our neighbors, a very nice fellow and a fireman decorated for bravery, and it was a genuine Labor of Love, or at least of Political Conviction. I disagreed with the politics, but I always smiled when I saw it . . .
Have to agree about the Romney mask. When he stood next to Ryan they looked like Herman and Eddie Munster.
ReplyDeleteMy brother used to work in the media production dept. of the RNC in Washington, where he learned all the ins and outs of polling. Last Friday, he emailed me his prediction, based on the Thursday Rasmussen and Gallup polls. He said that barring some last-minute surprise, Obama was a shoe-in. Looking at the internals, he said he could tell Romney was losing his momentum, and independents were breaking for Obama. He added that incumbents can count on a 1-1.5 percent higher vote than their last poll standing, so he predicted that by Tuesday, Obama would be at around 52 percent. Five days later, he was dead-on accurate. He's now called every presidential election correctly since the early '90s.
ReplyDeleteWeird thing is that he was using the Rasmussen and Gallup polls, and his prediction based on their numbers five days out was more accurate than their own final predictions based on their own current data.
Next election, I'm taking his predictions and betting some money on them.
God I miss Peter Jennings.
ReplyDeleteThe rich are different from you and me. A female co-worker, lawyer turned development executive from a wealthy family, married the company's chief operating officer, from a VERY wealthy family. I gave her a delicious recipe for zucchini casserole. In the midst of preparing it, she called and asked me what size pan she should use. I told her to use a lasagne pan and there would be enough for a couple of meals. She said, "Benjamin doesn't like leftovers." OMG! I'm sure they must have eventually hired a personal chef in order to eliminate any dreaded leftovers. (And whatever you do, don't EVER call him "Ben".)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I never connected with Romney, I think he has leadership qualities, but the real possibility that he would have led us down a path favoring the 1% at the expense of the "leftovers" was too great.
(This is what scares me now: Jeb Bush for President in 2016? Yikes!!)
I got so tired of listening to commentators chattering away while waiting for Obama to make his acceptance speech, I hit the mute button on the TV and listened to "The Revolution Will Not Be Televized" instead. Remember: The revolution will not go better with Coke, and the revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
ReplyDeleteCheers, thanks a lot,
Storm
Well done, Ken! You nicely side-stepped all the hate mail this time.
ReplyDeleteI've been saying it for the past ten years, but it's scary how split the "United" States are. I guess it's always been the case, but I didn't understand how much vitriol and bitterness there was until I lived there and saw it first hand.
I do think the astoundingly low quality television news is partially to blame. Feeding people's fears so they they believe every election is their favourite candidate or certain apocalypse.
I know we Brits have terrible quality print news, but America's TV news is its insidious equivalent.
I always say: If you're being entertained, you're not watching news.
Good luck, America. I'm sure things will sort themselves out, whoever you wished was sitting in the Oval Office. It's not really the end of the world if your guy didn't get in, these elections are just a minor event in the eyes of history.
Wow! 35 comments already. I don't why the networks are trying to turn it into "Rockin' Election Eve" either. At least they weren't crying on the set of CNN this time. Maybe Fox was.
ReplyDeleteTo me the historic part was that Obama one in a landslide but only had 1/4 of the white male vote. Next Presidential cycle, you can probably win decisively with only 15% of the white male vote. That is the death nell for the Republicans.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be surprised to see a viable 3rd party made up of moderate republicans and others that could provide an real alternative. The current republicans are unelectable now in a national campaign. They'll be a party of congressmen.
I watched NBC's coverage and Brian Williams was absolutely on fire. He was hilarious the entire evening. By far, that was the most entertaining election night coverage I've ever watched.
ReplyDelete"JT Anthony said...
ReplyDeleteRomney likely would have made positive change."
Ok, JT, now you're just spouting delusional blather.
"Cap'n Bob said...
What's wrong with 1947? I was born that year and have a certain affection for it."
As was Stephen King and one of my closest friends. But what was wrong with it? Well, how about:
Segregation, lack of civil rights, rampant, open, societally-approved homphobia, misceganation illegal in many states, feminism all but non-existant, a highly-conservative, backwards social agenda running the country downhill into right-wing land. McCarthyism and the Red Scare when people's lives were ruined over their having left-leaning politics by the Fascist wing of the right-wing.The opeeration that saved my life in 1998 had not been invented yet. No color TV. Catch-22 not yet writtten.
This list goes on and on and on. Frankly, what was RIGHT with 1947? I was born in 1950, and I have NO desire to return to 1950.
The comments here, from both sides, are a lot more articulate than most. Classy group, even the ones I disagree with.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I expected it to be a lot closer (60-40 is a pretty darned good margin) there were a lot of indicators that Obama could win. Which is why I am still bemused at the sputtering shock exhibited by Rove and Trump. Rove appeared absolutely betrayed and I wondered by whom. Was he truly wearing blinders or did he think he had inside information that didn't pan out?
Anyway, Heaton isn't my favorite actress but I'm glad to hear that she's a nice person. As for her politics, well, if I made her kind of money maybe I'd be more worked up about taxes. A tax break on my meager earnings won't buy a cup of coffee, so I'd just as soon Uncle Sam kept it, and maybe we can keep some schools and libraries open, fix a few bad roads, etc.
To Johnny Walker,
ReplyDeleteYou said:
"I've been saying it for the past ten years, but it's scary how split the 'United' States are."
Sorry, I know what you were trying to do there, but you still should have said "... the United States is." Despite our differences (which also goes for differences of the citizens within individual states), we are still one nation. And most of us will stand up for what we believe is righteous, especially democracy.
JT: Benghazi is a tragedy; nobody argues that. The problem is that the GOP is trying to blow this up into some sort of impeachable scandal, which is rubbish. Bush & Cheney pre-emptively invaded another country (something the U.S. had never ever done before), one that had neither the desire nor the ability to attack us. It resulted in the deaths of over 4000 soldiers, the crippling and maiming of thousands more, and the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, all at a cost of over one trillion of our tax dollars. And it was treated as "business as usual"--instead of being tried for war crimes, they and the rest of their gang of thugs are now living lavishly on their ill-gotten gains. THAT, sir, is a scandal, arguably the largest one in our nation's history. So don't talk to me about Benghazi, because it's a drop in the bucket compared to the genuine criminality of the previous administration.
ReplyDeleteCadavra: the Bush/Cheney conflict is a completely different argument, one that I'm not going to address now. Please stay focused on the one we originally started to debate. It's odd that you would even bring it up in this context. As if bringing up a different situation somehow makes Benghazi a "minor" incident, unworthy of mention.
DeleteWhile you acknowledge Benghazi as a tragedy, it seems you do NOT acknowledge that the administration refused to defend them in crisis after pleas for help. I infer from your lack of response that you agree that Obama failed in this instance, showing lack of character and transparency. Let me add, however, this is not unique to Dems. Cheney and Rummy ARE likely worse offenders of these things; instances that none of us will ever know.
The main reason the former SEAL was killed is that he disregarded orders not to step in and defend the Ambassador et al. What a hero, by the way.
Yes, Benghazi was a tragedy, and made worse by the administration's handling of it. Not only did they condemn them to a terrifying death by not answring their calls--multiple pleas for life saving intervention and help, but they also then lied about it to protect their political image. The complicit liberal media abjectly failed to make a big deal out of it, but most, if not all, agree that there was a massive coverup (CIA and State Dept. reject blame for the administration's "reported" sequence of events, especially when the objective evidence is overwhelming clear).
Also interesting that your response reflects a similar tactic of Obama's campaign, which is, don't focus on the issue at hand, but shift it to something else. Again, let's argue Bush/Cheney after this is settled, if you so choose.
Wondering if you think the media is biased in its coverage of most things political to the Democrats, especially Owebama and his liberal agenda? Even Candy Crowley crossed the professional line by attempting to come to Barry's defense. Awful display of media bias.
Finally, let me add that Fox and other crazies like Limbaugh and O'Reilly are as bad as it gets on the Republican side...
All politics aside, I thought Brian Williams at NBC had the best zinger of the night with his description of Donald Trump: "Donald Trump, who has driven well past the last exit to relevance and veered into something closer to irresponsible here, is tweeting tonight."
ReplyDeleteGo Brian!