Here are my New Year’s resolutions:
Host movies on TCM.
Finally watch THE WIRE.
Get ALMOST PERFECT on Netflix or Hulu.
Go to the gym at least twice a week. (My gym is usually packed in January and by March it’s me and two other guys.)
Stay off the 405 freeway when it’s crowded (so only take it between 2-4 AM).
Visit my friend in Walla Walla.
Get more productions of A OR B?
Learn to do an accent in my improv class.
Direct more episodes that my daughter and her partner write.
See a Broadway show I wish I had written.
Go somewhere in the world I've never been.
Recover from the jet lag.
Watch and listen to as much Vin Scully as I possibly can.
Finish writing my new play.
Learn what half the features on my car are.
Not piss off the North Koreans.
Continue to support the WGA’s Foundation.
Give DOWNTON ABBEY one final chance.
Champion strict gun control.
Get a humor piece in the NEW YORKER.
Get a cartoon in the NEW YORKER.
Keep Tetris playing down to three hours a day.
Answer more Friday Questions (which I'll be able to do if I keep the previous resolution).
Clean my desk (a perennial resolution but this year for sure!)
And finally, solve the Natalie Wood case.
Let's see how many I keep. What are your resolutions?
"Go somewhere in the world I've never been. "
ReplyDeleteI recommend Western Australia.
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ReplyDeleteIs that you, Vin?
ReplyDeletea clean desk is a sign of a sick mind. Keep it messy, and keep writing.
ReplyDeleteI love that the pro-gun person makes a violent comment, thus confirming why some people shouldn't have guns.
ReplyDeleteYet this person's not brave enough to provide other than an anonymous comment.
I knew your mention of gun control would get an angry response, after all three thousand Americans a year dying from gun violence is the price of freedom and should be ignored, while two people in the US getting Ebola is a "crisis." The show CSI just had an episode about a mass shooting and in the week before it was going to air there were 3 mass shootings, two in the US and one in Canada, so the network quietly pulled the episode and didn't air it until three weeks later. About a year ago I got cold called by someone from the NRA doing a survey and when I agreed to participate they read me a litany of horrible gun control legislation which Obama had supported in Congress. When I replied that it all sounded good to me, they started to end the survey. When I remarked that this didn't seem to be an honest survey at all as they only apparently wanted to talk to people who agreed with them, the guy asked me one more question and then signed off, and didn't even offer me a membership in the NRA.
ReplyDeleteBreaking news: Anonymous, after finishing binge watching his boxset of Chuck Norris movies, reading a book that champions the notion of intelligent design, and writing a fan letter to Ann Coulter, got into his Humvee with his 5 year old daughter and went to the local gun fair where he showed her how to use a mini-gun, but she lost control of the weapon and ended up riddling her father in a hundred bullets. Police are currently treating this as a case of poetic justice.
ReplyDeleteStay focused on what the people who REALLY count in my life think.
ReplyDeleteIt's too easy to try to please those who can't be pleased (it's their job, they think), who won't ever say thank you, please, (God forbid "I'm sorry, it was me that did it this time") or put themselves second). I spend 'way too much time fixating on those whom I will not even be able to remember in five years.
Now see? I've already started doing it again. But all we can do is keep trying.
Ken- every time I see that "I'm not a robot" thing, I feel like going all Patrick McGoohan at it, as if it's Leo McKern.
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ReplyDeleteGuns...is there anything they CAN"T do?
ReplyDeleteI say if a corporation is a person why can't a gun be a person?
I nominate the GLOCK G42 "Safe Action"® Pistol for President in 2016! With a ProMag Springfield XD 20 Roundclip as running mate.
Waddaya say Anonymous? If that is your name.
Ha! Two comments into the new year and someone goes for your jugular. Or your butt. Not sure which is worse.
ReplyDeleteKen, have an awesomely tremendously stupendously Happy New Year. May all of your resolutions come to fruition, especially getting more Vin Scully in your life - even if it means fewer Friday Questions. (Are there any we haven't asked?) Even if it means - gasp - delaying watching THE WIRE. Hey, those shows aren't going to disappear.
You're lucky to have Vin Scully, still in fine voice after all these years. We lost Harry Kalas way too soon but at least he was able to enjoy a World Series victory before his death.
ReplyDeleteCatch Christopher Walken in a weak moment or after a few drinks and you might solve the Wood case. If not, maybe Robert Wagner will make a death-bed statement. Wonder what work she might have gone on to in her latter years.
Hopefully the Hamburger Hamlet trip (if you CAN'T avoid it) is on the way back from the gym.
Happy New Year Ken. Thanks for all the great posts. Good luck with your resolutions. I'm with you about Vin Scully, but I have a problem in that I live in Hawaii.
ReplyDeleteI pay for the MLB app so I can listen/watch every Dodger game. But for some insane reason, MLB.com considers Honolulu a 'hometown' of the Dodgers. All the LA television broadcasts are blocked! So I get three innings of our beloved Mr. Scully and that's it.
Makes me mad just to think about it. Anybody who even visits this place knows most locals love the Giants or the Mariners. The Dodgers are hated like the Yankees.
Maybe you can use your MLB contacts to fix this problem for one of your most loyal readers? It's worth a night or two at Mama's Fish House. Whadya say ole buddy ol pal?
Aloha
I really hope you get Almost Prefect on Hulu or Netflix. I loved that show and my father still talks about it. I got them Apple TV so they can stream onto their TVs (computer luddites). This would make my father VERY happy to be able to stream Almost Perfect as easily as he streams The Rockford Files. And so would I.
ReplyDeleteI'll have you know I am a child-free faggot atheist and I voted for Obama twice.
ReplyDeleteRest in Peace Luise Rainer.
ReplyDeletemmmmm chicken wings
ReplyDeleteMy New Year's resolutions are:
ReplyDelete--to watch CHINATOWN a ton.
--watch STAR TREK a ton.
--get a screenplay in the hands of an agent or producer.
--hopefully be on my way to making a film by the end of the year.
--spend more time with far-flung friends.
--be a better husband and son (being any kind of father would be nice by the end of the year).
--enjoy more Louisville Orchestra concerts.
My 2015 resolutions are to:
ReplyDelete* finish my romantic comedy screenplay, then sell the damn thing. (Can I become the next Norman Krasna? I can dream, can't I?)
* really exploit the film history resources Los Angeles has to offer (the Margaret Herrick Library, the scripts resource at WGAw, etc.) to make my classic Hollywood blog "Carole & Co." even better as it nears its eighth birthday this June.
* continue to follow "By Ken Levine" throughout 2015 (I learn so much).
* see one more episode filming of my two favorite sitcoms, "Mom" and "Hot In Cleveland."
* also get as much Vin Scully via radio and TV as I can (though I'll also have a 20-game plan at Chavez Ravine) and will root for the Dodgers when they're not facing my Washington Nationals.
* and finally, to continue falling in love with my new hometown. Thank you, Los Angeles!
Like the previous commenter I'm going to avoid clicking on links that say things like "You won't believe what happened next" and "This made my jaw hit the floor". That'll do.
ReplyDeleteKen: Sad to see that THE WIRE carried over from last year. I hope you manage at least the 13 episodes of the first season in the next 12 months. Such a great show.
I used to worry that new viewers wouldn't give the show a chance and would quit early, but TV has changed a lot since it came out. It no longer stands alone. Any fan of MAD MEN should have no problem following THE WIRE.
That said: If you get halfway through the first episode and you don't know why McNulty has been called into his see his Commanding Officer, you weren't paying attention. Rewind and put the subtitles on.
Happy 2015!
Oh goody another Hollywood living in his palace trying to tell America all about guns. Go get in bed with Jane Fonda, Kathie Lee Gifford and Richard Gere and his gerbils.
ReplyDeleteHere’s hoping it’s YOU, (and not me or someone I care about) who someday finds themselves in a situation where they don’t have a gun, and wishes they had one.
Gee, Buck, I'm one of those gun-hating lefties and I don't wish for anyone to be in a situation where s/he needs a gun. Why do you want people to be in danger? Is that what you tell Jesus on Sunday that you did?
ReplyDeleteKen and fellow commenters, may a wonderful year await you, with lots and lots of The Vin.
Oh My God, Buck, if you're going to do that "cold dead hands" schtick, couldn't you at least update your examples of leftie commie gun control pinkos? Jane freaking Fonda?? AND a 1980's Richard Gere/gerbil reference? What happened, did you get sealed into your doomsday shelter back around '85 when the wind blew down your observation tower and it fell in front of the bunker door?
ReplyDeleteWhy on earth do guys like you even read the blog of a TV comedy writer?
How 'bout resolutions for other people?
ReplyDeletePick up your dog's poop!
Pick up you dog's poop no matter what the weather!
Stop cracking your gum
Grab a tissue or two, blow, and stop sniffing every 15 seconds!
Please view The Wire ASAP, then be so kind as to write a humorous piece of satire for The New Yorker in which Omar acts as a champion for gun control.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Some of your goals for the new year sound like mine. Happy New Year! Good luck to your endeavors!
ReplyDeleteAnother compelling argument from the anti-gun control side. They nearly changed my mind with this last one. Who knew they could be so eloquent and persuasive?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it ironic that people who so vehemently want to exercise their second amendment rights have real difficulty with respecting other people exercising their first amendment rights.
ReplyDeleteWant to champion gun control. Visit the shooting range once a week and concentrate on your grip, breath control and don't jerk the trigger. That will greatly shrink your groups and improve control of your gun.
ReplyDeleteHey Ken,
ReplyDelete2 words for 2015: THE. WIRE.
Watch it, Watch it, Watch it, Watch it,
--LL
You don't already do accents? Most funny guys can do at least a few. I'm gonna work on an Irish / Scottish accent, since that's always been a tough one for me. My Jack Kennedy is as good as it's gonna get at this point
ReplyDeleteHi Ken. I hope you get to watch the Wire. It is a great show, but you know what, I'm finding I like the Shield even better.
ReplyDeleteClay Davis for President.
I want you to watch The Wire so we can see your parody of the show.
ReplyDeleteObama's championing of strict gun control has made support for gun at an all time high. Perhaps it is because of his association with Al Sharpton and the violence against shopowners in Ferguson.
ReplyDeleteI would hope that the majority of people would at least be in favor of banning the sale of assault weapons - which are designed for nothing other than killing as many people as quickly as possible - and favored by those who shoot up schools, offices, and movie theaters. As far as I'm concerned, nobody has any business owning these types of weapons.
ReplyDeleteAssault weapon is not a formal term, and just a convenient way for gun controllers to make you think they are talking about banning machine guns. Semi-automatic weapons release one bullet every time you press the trigger, and are not machine guns. So when they are talking about banning assault weapons, they are really talking about common handguns and rifles owned and used by millions who somehow avoid killing as many people as quickly as possible.
ReplyDeleteIf you do get Almost Perfect on Netflix, I promise you I will watch each episode 200 to 300 times like I have for Cheers, Frasier, The Office, Arrested Development, and 30 Rock. Since it was a short run, I may even see them 500 a piece.
ReplyDelete