Do I watch my old shows?

Here’s one of those questions worth an entire post. It’s from Nancy Knechtel.

Mash and Cheers and so many of your shows are on ALL the time. Do you ever watch the old episodes? Can you enjoy them or do the memories come flooding back? Does your family run out of the room? There really could be a Ken Levine Network....

That’s a pretty far-fetched idea but I imagine a Ken Levine Network would still garner better ratings in primetime than NBC.

To answer your question, there are some shows of mine I watch, and others I don’t.

For the most part I have a hard time re-visiting my MASH episodes. There are a few exceptions, but by and large I can’t watch them without saying, “Oh, we could do that better,” and “there’s got to be a better joke than that,” etc. We were very young when we did MASH. I would love one more pass at each of those scripts.

But some MASH episodes I still really enjoy including POINT OF VIEW, OUT OF SIGHT/OUT OF MIND, GOODBYE RADAR, THE BILLFOLD SYNDROME, and MERCHANT OF KOREA. And there are parts of the others I like.

Most of our CHEERS episodes I can watch without cringing. There are a few duds along the way (we wrote 40 total), but even those might not be too bad. I mentioned this story before – a few years ago while in Arizona for spring training I happened upon a CHEERS of ours that I hadn’t seen in ages and was pleasantly surprised. But I don’t know if it was just funnier than I remembered or the comedy bar has been lowered so it appears better than it is.

Certain episodes I can watch over and over. TO ALL THE GIRLS I’VE LOVED BEFORE, RAT GIRL, DEATH TAKES A HOLIDAY ON ICE, ANY FRIEND OF DIANE’S, FINALLY, and BOYS IN THE BAR are just a few. Usually, what makes them so re-watchable is the performance by the actors.

Maybe because we didn’t do enough of them to have clunkers, but I gladly will watch any of our FRASIER episodes.

And there are a couple of WINGS we did that I still have a fondness for. Brian getting a nose job for one. Same for BECKER.

I also find it easier to watch shows I directed than shows I wrote. Good performances and good camera angles don’t diminish over time.

But you’re right, Nancy, that all of these shows bring back memories – some good; some Vietnam flashbacks. What I recall most though are the jokes we didn’t use. They were so appallingly inappropriate. But funny. Sick, disturbed, and in many cases libelous, but really FUNNY.

The family never goes screaming from the room when I watch an old re-run. Just when I watch baseball.

I feel so privileged and lucky that work my partner and I did thirty years ago is still being seen and appreciated. I’m my own worst critic so I sometimes only spot the flaws, but I’m infinitely proud of these shows and hope they keep playing for another thirty years. So even if I don’t watch them, you should.

You've got to see this

I've already posted it on Twitter (you're welcome to follow me), but wanted to share it here.  This is maybe the coolest thing I've ever seen at a ballgame.  It was opening night in Seattle.  The Mariners have a feature between innings where a youngster gets to run out and take second base.  Watch what happens.

Thanks again to everyone who showed up at the meet-and-greet.  The over-under from my Mariners broadcast crew on just how many people would actually attend was 2.  So we went way over that.  It was a great time and so nice to meet my readers face-to-face.  Interestingly, no one introduced themselves as Anonymous.   Based on the success of this I'll try to organize more, including one in Los Angeles. 

A CAN'T-MISS idea for a family sitcom!

Comedy writers are always looking for new twists on family shows. It’s almost an impossible task. Sixty-plus years of television sitcoms have given us seemingly every relationship combination possible. Multiple wives, occasional wives, trophy wives, surrogate fathers, widowed fathers, teenaged fathers, fathers from outer space, arranged marriages, mixed-marriages, May-December marriages, April-June marriages, kids by a previous marriage, kids by a previous divorce, widowed kids, orphaned kids, latch-key kids, test tube babies, talking babies, kids with two dads, two moms, two gays, and whatever the hell that arrangement is on SHAMELESS. Dad moves back in, grandpa moves back in, adult kids move back in, Alf moves in. You get the idea. There's nothing new under the sun. 

Well comedy writers, take heart!  May I introduce you to Jerry Lee Lewis?

Jerry Lee Lewis was a rock star in the early days of rock n’ roll. Some of his big hits were “Whole Lot of Shakin’ Goin’ On”, “Breathless”, and “Great Balls of Fire” (which was also the title of a 1989 movie about him, starring Dennis Quaid). Here’s an example of Jerry Lee in his prime.

He also played the piano with his feet, which of course is the prerequisite of all great musicians.

Anyway, his career hit a little snag when he married his 13-year-old cousin. Why I don't know.  But that was just the first Mrs. Lewis. And here’s where we get into family-pilot-gold –

Recently he married his seventh wife. Her ex-husband is Jerry’s cousin whose sister was Jerry’s first wife.  Now seriously, tell me you've seen that before on ABC.

As always, you're welcome.   

But alas, what happens if you’re not the first four in the door? Once every network buys this sure-fire premise then what? Fear not. Again, dipping into the relationship-rich world of music, I give you Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.

At the time of his death in 2000 it was revealed he had fathered at least 55 children by God knows how many women. I say “at least” because they’re still counting and the number could eventually reach as high as 75.

SCREAMIN’ JAY PLUS 55.

Neither of these stories are made up.  They're both absolutely true.  That's what makes them so great.  And so REAL.  

Get on the phone to your agent. And Paula Marshall.

In appreciation of Elizabeth Montgomery

Elizabeth Montgomery would have been 79 today.  I know this factoid because I have had a crush on Elizabeth Montgomery for &^%# years (gee, something must have gone wrong. The number didn’t print.) Let’s just say since BEWITCHED. There were a lot of TV actresses who were hot back then. But Samantha Stephens was the only one I wanted to marry. And not just because she could turn my math teacher into a Chia Pet. Sam truly was adorable. And funny in that unassuming way you rarely see in witches and genies.

Plus... guys, back me on this – how sexy was that nose twitch? It’s like, if she could do that, what else could she do?

When I became a weekend disc jockey at KERN in Bakersfield I turned my love for Liz into a running bit. The KERN Top 30 survey distributed at record stores featured Ms. Montgomery on the cover every week. That’s what they get for having me design it.

In the early 70s when my partner David and I were writing spec scripts David worked in the film department of ABC. Elizabeth Montgomery starred in a Movie of the Week as Lizzie Borden. David called and said “get your ass down here!” Turns out for European release there was a nude scene. I practically drove on sidewalks to get to the studio where we screened then re-screened (and re-screened again) the scene in question. Ohmygod! Samantha Stephens, naked, blood all over her, holding an ax. Be still my heart!

I only saw her in person one time. And I never actually met her. It was about ten years later. There was a restaurant in Santa Monica called the Maryland Crab House, which featured the whole Chesapeake crab experience – butcher paper, a pile of spiced crabs on the table, wooden mallets, buckets. Liz and her husband Robert Foxworth came in and sat right across from me. Ironically, I would direct Robert years later on the Al Franken sitcom, LATELINE. (He’s the one I thought should run for the senate). So picture this. The goddess I’ve adored forever… chomping on crabs, ripping them apart, contorting her face, sucking claws, swilling beer, juice running down her arm. And I was STILL ENTRANCED.

Anyone I’ve ever talked to who worked with her said she was a dream. Professional and kind and giving as an actress. She made everyone on the set feel comfortable from fellow actors to the lowliest crew member.

Most of her work was in television although she did a few movies, most of them forgettable like one with Dean Martin and a cameo in HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI. But if you can find JOHNNY COOL with Telly Savalas, that’s a good B-movie pot boiler. I imagine some of her TV movies survive. If so, (in all seriousness) A CASE OF RAPE shows just how good a dramatic actress she was. And her episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE was killer. For sheer camp check out A KILLING AFFAIR in which she has an interracial affair with O.J. Simpson.

She was outspoken against the Vietnam War when that was not a popular position. She was a volunteer for the Los Angeles Unit of Recording for the Blind & Dyslexic, a non-profit organization which records educational books for disabled people.

Elizabeth Montgomery was only 62 when she passed away. But she’ll remain forever young, forever Bewitching, and generation after generation will continue to fall under her magic spell.

Thanks Seattle!

... To my peeps who attended the meet-and-greet at F.X. McCrory's today. Could've been real embarrassing if no one showed up.

I have some photos but don't know how to re-size them with my iPad Blogger Ap. So photos to come when I get home. This is why I wish Steve Jobs was still alive.

The Paramount Lot

Looking forward to seeing my peeps in Seattle today at 1:00 at F.X. McCrory's.

I often hear from readers asking me to talk about the various movie studios I've been lucky enough to work on.  For twenty years I was ensconced at Paramount. My fondest memories are of Paramount but more for the people and creative atmosphere than the historic landmarks. Although some of those indeed exist.

The motel-looking building that served as William Holden’s office in SUNSET BLVD. remains intact. And the huge mural of the sky is still there. It’s always sunny with a few wispy clouds at Paramount.

And there is the “tank”. This is a recessed parking lot that can be filled with water for shooting or purposes or flooding cars. The blockbuster TORA TORA TORA shot most of its exteriors there. All of the warships were toy models. How did we live before Industrial Light & Magic?

One night after a late rewrite I saw massive lights and activity going on at the tank. Remember the climax of PATRIOT GAMES? There was a big fight on a small yacht that was swirling around in a vicious storm? They were filming that. I sauntered over and watched. Everyone just assumed I was a member of the crew. How many tourists are on the Paramount lot at 2:30 in the morning with a dog-eared WINGS script? Harrison Ford is a nice guy, by the way.

The tank is used sparingly because it’s quite expensive to fill. We did employ it once for CHEERS. Sam and Diane are on a boat. I think it’s from the fourth season. For the rest of the run of the show whenever we were stuck for a scene I would suggest, “Fill the tank!”

STAR TREK filmed at Paramount. More than once I’d be standing in line at the ATM behind a Klingon.

There was never much of a backlot but their New York street is more like a New York neighborhood. Several streets of different vintage intersect. Westside meets eastside. I see that location in a gazillion films, commercials, and music videos. Half the AMERICAN IDOL Ford videos are shot there. When we were doing ALMOST PERFECT, our stage was adjacent to the New York street. One day I walked out of our stage and there was James Brown sitting on a bench eating a sandwich.

Celebrity sightings were frequent. Tom Cruise (before he became a nut bag) had an office right above the FRASIER writers room and was quite visible. Jesus, he’s short! I turned a corner one day and bumped into Sean Connery. Oh, and the twins from SISTER/SISTER were always around! Not to mention those two women who had an act called THE MOMMIES. If only I had my camera.

Paramount was not in a great neighborhood. Even in the 70s and 80s there were more drug deals made outside the lot than in.

But Paramount was more like being at a great university than a movie studio (or fort, which out of necessity is what it looked like). The Harvard of television comedy. When I arrived the Garry Marshall camp was in full force. HAPPY DAYS, LAVERNE & SHIRLEY, and yes, even BLANKSY’S BEAUTIES. Jim Brooks brought his MTM all-star team over to do TAXI and that begat CHEERS, FRASIER, and the various other shows spawned from those writers. Gary David Goldberg set up shop with FAMILY TIES. And of course there was WEBSTER.

And all of us writers from all of these shows knew each other. We’d help each other out on pilots. We’d work on each other’s series. At one time I was directing, writing, and consulting BECKER, FRASIER, and IT’S ALL RELATIVE at the same time. For years I worked on both CHEERS and WINGS.

When writers would bump into each other the first question always asked was, “How late did you guys go last night?” i.e. how long was your rewrite night? If you got out after TAXI than your show was probably in shit shape that week because they always stayed late at TAXI.

And then there were filming nights. This was the age of multi-camera shows. Most filmed the same nights (Tuesday or Friday). After audiences were sent home usually the directors had about an hour or so of pick-ups. There was nothing more boring. So writers would usually wander from stage to stage.  Talk about 3D.   Every show on television we saw live.

Sadly, the lot is a ghost town today.  Once CBS/Viacom bought it everything changed.   Very few shows are done there today.  CBS moved most everything to their Radford lot in Studio City.   I don't know the reason but I'm guessing to save money.  I know the Smithsonian will showcase sets from classic television shows from time to time.  And they're a pretty big place.  I wonder if they have room for an entire movie studio?

What scripts do you need to get an assignment or representation?

On my way up to Seattle for the big Mariners’ home opener. Here are some Friday Questions while I wait forever in the TSA line.

Damian1342 is up first (beating out the previous 1341 Damians):

Is it possible to get a freelance or staff writing job or even manager from just a Sitcom Pilot script? As opposed to doing a traditional Spec script? Of course we are assuming here the script is good and can be placed in the right hands. Or does one really have to have one of each?

Today you do need one of each – a spec for an existing show and some piece of original material. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a pilot. It can be a one-act play or short film script.

I was on a panel with Bill Lawrence (SCRUBS, COUGAR TOWN) recently and he told the story of a young writer who submitted a spec from an existing show and a DVD. Bill liked the script and turned to the disc, which was labeled “writing sample.” He put it on and it was four minutes of this guy sitting at the computer writing. Bill hired him.

Now you take a big risk doing something outrageous like that. Some producers would not be amused and you’d be dead. But others might think, “Wow! This guy is original.”

Me? I’d laugh, think it was great, and then ask for a pilot.


Heath Brandon (a proud Sitcom Room alum) asks:

Do showrunners listen to the feedback of critics and audience members and potentially adjust something to the prevailing wind throughout the course of the season?

I can’t speak for all, but most do. We certainly did. Especially with a multi-camera show, you have the advantage of an audience's reaction so you see what works and what doesn’t and then steer your show accordingly.

But what that means is you’re really living on the edge that first season. You want to always be ahead, have a few scripts in the bank ready to go, but not too many because things could change. And you sure don’t want to go week-to-week with writing new scripts because then you wind up in a cardiac ward or the Unibomber’s shed.

Mid-season shows have the advantage/disadvantage of filming all episodes of their order before they finally air. The disadvantage is you can’t make mid-course corrections based on feedback. But the advantage is your cast isn’t plunged into a suicidal depression when bad reviews and/or bad ratings come in. Try producing another eight episodes when that occurs. It’s Baghdad with worse weather. Sometimes it’s best when you’re working in a bubble and everyone is happy and optimistic and fooling themselves.

As for critics, there are some I admire and take seriously and others who are idiots and I just dismiss.

From Ben:

Ken, I've just finished watching M*A*S*H for the first time and couldn't help but feel that Charles Winchester was a pre-cursor for Frasier Crane. Do you know how much Frasier was based on or influenced by Winchester?

To my knowledge, not at all. Frasier was created by the Charles Brothers to serve as a temporary love interest for Diane. Who would Diane Chambers be attracted to and why? Those were the only considerations.

And finally, from scotmc:

A few episodes of FRASIER utilized Seattle's now defunct NBA team, the Supersonics. How much should a show incorporate its location, city?

As much as possible. Your location can be a great tool in defining your series. We’re all products of our environment and incorporating that into your series helps determine the attitudes of your characters.

The location also adds flavor and specificity. Generic is the enemy of comedy. (Well, that and Adam Sandler.)  Here's an example.  What’s funnier?

“I’m so sick.”

“That’s what you get for going to White Castle.”

Or

“That’s what you get for going to that popular east coast franchise fast food restaurant that is famous for serving bite size but greasy hamburgers.”

On the other hand, you have to be careful that your location mentions aren’t so specific that only people in that city will get the reference.

“I’m so sick.”

“That’s what you get for going to Ray’s on Cloverdale.”

Ten people in America might get that (although legendary comedy writer Jerry Belson used to say, “ten is enough.”)

Ultimately, my favorite shows are the ones that take me into a whole world, whether it be Seattle, Washington, Harlan County, Kentucky, or Pawnee, Indiana. And I think it was very smart to set WKRP IN CINCINNATI in Cincinnati.

Okay, I have to put my shoes, belt, jacket, eye glasses, and tooth fillings into the bucket and go through security. What’s your question?

Now THIS is a brutal announcer

Not only does he rip the shit out of a player, it's a player from HIS OWN TEAM. Check it out!

A follow-up to yesterday's post

Some follow-up thoughts on yesterday’s post. It generated a lot of comments. First off though, Zachary Knighton must’ve read the piece. He Tweeted these:

@kenlevine never meant to disrespect older scribes in the biz. Only thoughts on what makes HE special and my rapport with the writers on HE

@kenlevine also, I appreciate your response and btw Cheers and Mash were two shows that made me wanna be an actor....

Thanks, Zachary. And like I said, I’m a fan.

Now to some of the comments. Let me respond to a few.

Ger Apeldoorn said...

Older writers also can add focus to a show. In my experience, younger writers are all over the place. Like a kindergarten full of screaming kids, indeed.

Then again, isn't that what youth is about? Reinventing the wheel, not moving forward, but doing the same old stuff in such a way that it seems new? Would an older writer not try to add meaning and feeling to a situation and set-up that doesn't deserve it?

No, I don’t think experienced writers would try to add emotion where it’s not warranted. That was always my issue with WILL & GRACE. They’d have 21 minutes of hilarious burlesque and then some overly sappy moment that felt completely bogus and contrived. The key to strong emotional scenes is that they have to be earned. Experienced writers might re-think the basic story you were planning to tell. They’d find a way to ground it, make it more real, find problems that were more substantial.   And if the original story was too inconsequential, they might suggest that you just scrap it entirely.

As to Ger’s other point, that reinventing the wheel is a good thing and produces more original material, I would respectfully disagree. What’s the old expression? Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Producing a show is hard enough without making needless mistakes. You need sound dramatic structure. Once you’re comfortable with the principles of good basic storytelling then you can twist it to make it new and yours. Picasso was an excellent draftsman before making all those cubist paintings where everyone looked like Liza Minnelli with her face smooshed against a window. Yet, with the possible exception of Steve Buscemi, Picasso knew people didn’t have both eyes on one side of their nose. He broke the rules after learning the rules. 

I think of baseball. Experienced managers like Joe Torre had lifelong baseball people like Don Zimmer as his bench coach and right-hand man. Zimmer didn’t have to communicate with the young players (who have no idea who he was other than some old guy who really shouldn’t be allowed to wear a baseball uniform anymore), but just be there to lend his expertise to the manager and give him the benefit of his 137 years in baseball.

Anonymous said:

Speaking of ageism, what do ya'll think about Dan Harmon releasing yet ANOTHER recording bomb of Chevy Chase? Is show-running like being in the Mafia? Sure looks like he's trying to exterminate Chevy.

In case you missed this latest wrinkle, another voicemail from Chevy to COMMUNITY showrunner, Dan Harmon has “mysteriously” surfaced after a year. On the tape Chevy basically tells Harmon that his show sucks. Translation: Chevy Chase wants more lines and screen time on the show. So who’s the asshole in this case (sounds like I have the makings of a great reality show)? Simple. Whoever leaked that tape to the public. And considering it was on Harmon’s voicemail, I would kinda sorta maybe have to point the finger at him, wouldn’t you say? God, it kills me that I have to take Chevy’s side.

From McElroy...

It seems to me that good writing is good writing, regardless of the age of the writer. It's true that younger writers would have a better handle on the dialog of their generation ... but is that all there is to a show?

Actually, dialog is the easy part. People think that coming up with jokes is the real ordeal, when, in fact, it’s structuring a good fresh story that causes showrunners to call the Betty Ford Center their vacation home.

From several readers there was a FRIENDS backlash – blaming that show for starting a genre of attractive young twentysomething pals looking for love and career advancement in glossy urban settings. FRIENDS was a very well-done show, but I must say, I don't quite understand why viewers of these new shows care about these young people. Wouldn’t audiences hate them for all being in the Lucky Sperm Club? They’re gorgeous, they have amazing apartments, they have cool jobs – oh no, they might not win the scavenger hunt! Who gives a shit?

But apparently audiences do care about these pretty people. Maybe it’s wish fulfillment, maybe they have short memories and forgot how their high school cheerleaders wouldn’t piss on their heads if their hair was on fire.  But it's another perk of the Lucky Sperm Club.  If the camera loves 'em then so does America. 

Little Miss Nomad said:

I don't think catchphrases or crutches are really what Happy Endings is doing so much as developing and depicting the special language any tight-knit group is gonna have. I dig that.

So can I.

That said, "A-mah-zing" is the worst, and I haven't noticed the how-mey/homey thing, but that's irritating as well.

SEINFELD and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER got around that problem by creating their own glossary of expressions. “Spongeworthy,” “Shrinkage,” “Suit Up,” etc.

Thanks to everyone who chimed in.  I love posts that spark debate.  To me, that's a Happy Ending. 

My respone to Zachary Knighton

Several readers have asked me to comment on the article by Zachary Knighton (one of the stars of HAPPY ENDINGS) that appeared recently on the A.V. Club.  Notably, readers wanted my reaction to these statements by Knighton:

…it’s awesome because there isn’t a 90-year-old guy who’s not really in touch with things writing dialogue for us.

And

I don’t want to name any names, but I’ve worked on television shows where there’s a guy writing for my generation who’s like 60—and it doesn’t work.

So what do I think?

This may surprise you but I don’t disagree with him. There are rhythms and exchanges in HAPPY ENDINGS I couldn’t come up with, but since I don’t feel I’m competing with that show, I can just watch and enjoy.  And I like him a lot. 

But let me offer a few points.

First, Knighton is one of the actors on the series, not one of the writers. So there’s no way of knowing whether they share his sentiments. (I don't personally know anyone on the writing staff, by the way.) 

But Knighton might be surprised to learn there are older writers who could make his show and any show better. I suspect HAPPY ENDINGS wouldn’t suffer if Larry David were around, for example.

That said, you need the right older writer. Yes, there are a lot who are out of touch ("That's not the way we did it on WEBSTER!"), but the ones who are good are very good and they’re experienced. I see story turns and clunky scenes on shows and I think, this poor staff is trying to re-invent the wheel. There are obvious fixes that they don’t see because there’s no one experienced around to show them. So yes, the older writers can’t write twentysomething dialogue without putting "dude" at the end of every speech, but they might construct sharper stories, structure funnier block comedy scenes, and I know it’s a generational priority – but they could push you to make your show more emotionally satisfying.

Is it just a coincidence that most big hit sitcoms (BIG BANG THEORY, MODERN FAMILY, TWO AND A HALF MEN) have older writers on their staffs?

One big difference between now and when I broke in (back in the Paleolithic era) is that shows today are more targeted for specific demographics. So writers in their 20’s write for characters in their 20’s. And that’s fine (I mean "awesome"). I wrote for characters my age too when I was starting out. But at 26 I was also writing for 40 year-old characters, and 50 year-old characters. I worry that today if you can only write for characters in their 20’s you are limiting yourself and potentially shortening your career. You want to be versatile, not just a niche writer.

As for the dialogue itself -- In the interview, Knighton also says this:

The great thing about these guys (their writers) is they’ll write a line and the cast will have some weird idiosyncrasy that we add to it. We’ve had this running gag recently, I don’t know how it worked itself in, where we say “homey” like [in nasally voice] “how-me”—and the writers are fine with it, which is really unusual. I think that’s also what makes this show special. We have all these dumb inside jokes and we let the audience in on that. And I don’t know how, but they get it. For some reason saying [in nasally voice] “What’s up, how-me?” is really funny to people.

Writers beware! Those “idiosyncrasies” are not jokes, they are crutches. They are easy familiar laughs. And if that’s what makes your show “special” you’re in trouble. Knighton makes it sound like they invented the form. From “Kiss my grits” to “Dy-no-mite” to “Would you believe?” sitcoms have been glomming onto catch phrases since before Lucy first went “Waaaaaaaa!” They get old. They get tired.

And here’s the thing: once “homey” has been established, anyone can write it. And it's a trap. It’s easy to be lazy. And get away with it. “Homey” will get you out of scenes. For awhile.  And it might get you out of a job because the P.A. can write "Homey" as good as you and costs just a fraction. 

But the good writers, the ones who will have long careers, are the ones who discard the crutches and strive for new, fresh, funny things. Again, this comment was from an actor, not a writer. I imagine the writers on the staff know these are crutches and have better perspective. So why is the actor making such a big deal of it? Because he’s so tickled that he can contribute. And that’s how they contribute – not by creating an original joke or concept, but by saying an existing word in a funny voice.

But those are quibbles.  

One thing I gleaned from the article is that HAPPY ENDINGS seems like a happy place to work. The actors and writers get along and all are passionate about turning out a great show. That’s how it should be. They’re all in their 20’s, they’re doing something they love, and the people they care about are seeing and appreciating their work. The last thing they probably need is Dr. Kelso.

Wanna meet me in Seattle?

I'll be up in Seattle this weekend for the Mariners' home opener.  If there's enough interest, I thought it would be fun to meet fans of the blog or M's.   Maybe Saturday at 1:00 at F.X. McCrory's.  If this sounds like something you'd like to attend, please let me know in the comments section.   This is an unorganized, super informal event -- just a bunch of people having lunch and drinking.   And I'll be happy to sign any Kindles.  You game?  Lemme know.  Thanks.

The clueless guide to watching GAME OF THRONES

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The story behind "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs"

Since I seem to be on a FRASIER jag (and I'm going up to Seattle Friday for the Mariners' home opener), here's a Friday Frasier question that deserves its own post. And a special guest to answer it.

Brian asks:

What's the story of the song "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs" that Kelsey Grammer sings at the end of the show? Who wrote it? What does it mean? Who's idea was it to put it at the end of the show and for Kelsey to sing it?

To answer I went to the source, the extremely talented, Bruce Miller. (Bruce also did the music for ALMOST PERFECT so you know I'm more than a fan.)

Having been the composer on a show called "Wings", I was asked by the creator's of that show to try to come up with a song for their next effort….that is to submit as one of three submissions for the "prize" in a blindfold test to chose the one they liked best!

I was told they wanted something pretty eclectic and jazzy, but to avoid any direct references to specific subject matter. So it was necessary to stay away from words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name "Frasier", and anything else directly indicating aspects of the show.

I immediately wrote the song/music itself, but then needed a lyric that would work, so I called my friend Darryl Phinnesse who is really talented and really smart. I gave him the idea of the show and he called back with the idea of "Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs". At first I was a bit baffled myself until he explained that these were things that were "mixed up"….like Frasier Crane's patients. Once we agreed on this premise (by the time I fully understood it), we went into completing the song. I actually did contribute a couple lines, but the heavy lifting here was Darryl, and lucky for me that I went to him to him in the first place.

"Hey baby I hear the blues a-callin"-refers to patients with troubles calling into the radio show
"Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs"
"But maybe I seem a bit confused"-Frasier's personality was a bit????
"Maybe, but I got you pegged"-Frasier does understand these people and helps them.
"But I don't know what to do with those Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs"-it's a tough business….gotta deal with these "crazies" every day.
"They're calling again"-oh, oh….should be self explanatory.

When I first wrote the song, I instantly thought of the great jazz singer, Mel Torme. He would have been perfect, but the producers wanted me to try Kelsey….and of course, he really made it his own with his interpretation.

As you can see, there were elements of this whole process that came to me from others. Those elements are what eventually helped to make the song successful on the show.

I'd assume the network wanted to get right into the show as quickly as possible (just my guess), so the song needed to go where it could be played full length. When the short little graphics of the Seattle skyline were created for the open of the show, I was asked to compose several different short pieces in the style of the theme, which were alternated each episode, depending upon the particular graphic used for that episode. I recall having composed about 25 of those little main titles by the end of the show's run.

Thanks so much, Bruce. Here's your now-classic closing theme.

Frasier's celebrity callers

Here are many of the celebrities who called into Frasier's radio program.  Thanks to reader Danj for alerting me to it. They missed one of ours though. Dr. Timothy Leary. I've always been proud of the fact that we wrote comedy for Dr. Timothy Leary.

If you haven't already, check out my other post today about FRASIER.

The FRASIER episode NBC didn't see until it was on the air

Here is one of those Friday FRASIER questions that warrants its own post.  Submitted by anonymous. Again, please leave your name. Honestly, no one will stone you if they don’t like your question. Thanks.
In Season 2 of Frasier, you and David wrote a two-parter where Lillith and Frasier end up taking their new beaus to the same romantic hiding spot. Were those episodes designed to bring Bebe back as a special guest star or was that a moment of inspiration that just happened in the writing?

That story stemmed from a real life incident. One of the writers used to work on a different show. At the end of a long grueling season he and his girlfriend took off for Bora Bora. It required several flights, a boat, and a bus to get to this incredibly remote resort. They arrive in their room, unpack, and this writer goes out to the balcony to enjoy the view. And who is on the very next balcony? The show runner he traveled 10,000 miles to forget. We knew we were going to use Bebe again that season so this seemed like a perfect story. Frasier finally finds a woman he really likes. They go to the end of the earth and there’s Lilith.

And always looking to top ourselves we thought, wouldn’t it be funny if he goes back to Bora Bora at the end of the show and there’s Diane on the next balcony? Obviously, that would have been too coincidental so we did it as a dream. He is back in Bora Bora but this time with Niles. But that twist (that you’d never see coming) was just too delicious to resist.

Shelley Long was contacted and agreed to do it. But we all really wanted to preserve the surprise. So she was brought in during a rehearsal day and that scene was shot in secrecy. On filming night the joke was that Niles was Frasier’s companion instead of a woman.

The producers were concerned that if NBC knew about Diane’s cameo they would promo it and spoil the surprise. So they did something rather amazing.

They didn’t tell the network.

They delivered the episode without the Diane snippet. And then on the day it was scheduled to air they said, “Oh, we needed to fix something, here’s the version we want you to air instead.” No one thought anything of it and so the first time NBC learned of this was when they saw it on the air. I’m not sure a show could get away with that today but it was sure fun at the time.

Of all the FRASIER episodes we wrote that one is one of my favorites.

My all-time favorite sitcom joke

It's from AMOS & ANDY, a show from the '50s that is way too politically incorrect to ever air on commercial television again.   But this joke killed me when I first heard it, and makes me laugh every time.  And don't worry.  It's not racist.  Just cruel. 

I often talk about how important the set-up is in constructing jokes.  This is a perfect example.  It's the set up that makes this gag work.  At least for me. 

How to find a writing partner

Here are some Friday Questions to kick off your weekend and the baseball season.

Trixie Malone wants to know:

How does a budding comedy writer find other budding comedy writers to partner up with? I've tried the number on the bathroom stall trick, but those people just aren't funny. Any suggestions?

One of my readers, Darren, saw this and offered a great suggestion:

Try this group.  

It's an online group of about 600 TV writers around the world. Occasionally, people post looking for writing groups and partners. We share info, scripts, do meetups in LA and commiserate. It's 3 parts education, 2 parts support group, 1 part Alcoholics-Not-Very-Anonymous. Good luck!

Thanks, Darren. Another avenue is through writing courses. Lots of people pair up that way.

From time to time the WGA holds events where writers seeking partners are encouraged to attend. Go to their website and keep an eye out for future events. David and I once spoke at one of these and the ad read, “Who knows? The next Levine & Isaacs could be formed at this meeting.”  My reaction was, “Hey, WE’RE the next Levine & Isaacs!”

Nick asks:

I've often heard the old story about how Cheers came dead last in the ratings in it's first season - my question is an obvious one: How or why was Cheers even renewed for the second season when it's ratings were so bad? Also - when did the ratings start to improve (because the quality of the show is evident even in season #1) and if it was on the air today would it survive? Or is today's TV environment too different?

We were renewed because Grant Tinker (pictured: left)and Brandon Tartikoff of NBC believed in the show. They appreciated its quality, were proud to air that kind of show, and… (real reason) they had nothing else better to replace it with.

NBC was in a re-building period and that takes time. It was like trying to make a U-turn in a battleship.

Tinker and Tartikoff realized the ratings problems with CHEERS wasn’t the content but the network’s inability to adequately promote the show because they had no hits to help launch it. And ironically, the disappointing numbers CHEERS had then (1982) would make it a runaway smash in today’s landscape.

Two things helped CHEERS: winning the Best Comedy Emmy that first year (no easy feat since the competition was the last season of MASH and the last season of TAXI), and then COSBY’S arrival season three. COSBY was an absolute game-changer. It exploded onto the scene, getting unheard-of shares in the 40’s. Riding its coat-tails, CHEERS rocketed into the top ten and stayed there for the rest of its run.

Hard to say whether this could happen today. I suppose it’s possible if the network powers-that-be are willing to stick with a show they believe in. I suppose the big difference between then and now is in 1982 NBC championed CHEERS. Today they champion WHITNEY.

On a related subject, Chris wonders:

Any idea why CBS would keep trying to screw over a good show, that also has good numbers, like RULES OF ENGAGEMENT? First they move it to Saturday nights to put on HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN then they force it to go on hiatus for months to give the slot to ROB! Why would they try to mess a show with good numbers up?

Because CBS considers RULES OF ENGAGEMENT a bullpen show. It's the pitcher you bring in once the starter gives up eight runs.  RULES performs for them but they don’t really love it. I was involved in a similar situation with BECKER. CBS never really believed in the show. And yet it continued to get good numbers wherever they placed it. So they just kept moving it around to shore up holes. Good for them, not good for a show trying to build an audience.

I can’t tell you how many people have said to me they discovered BECKER in syndication and love it. But they had no memory of it being on the network. BECKER was on CBS for five friggin’ seasons.

I bet RULES OF ENGAGEMENT has the same fate. People will think it’s a nice new cable show.

From SkippyMom:

Opening day is finally here. I hope you enjoy this season as much as you did all the others. I am quite jealous I might add. What was your favorite/most memorable night in the booth?

A spring training game in Glendale, Arizona in 2009. I was filling in for the Dodgers on the radio. It was also a TV game, which meant that Vin Scully did the first three innings as a simulcast and then the last six on TV. So for that one glorious March Sunday afternoon, Dodger baseball was broadcast by Vin Scully and me. I still have the tape of Vinny tossing it to me for the play-by-play. I don’t think I could covet an Oscar more.

What’s your question?

Who is the real Frasier Crane?

Shows change over time and characters evolve. This generally begins happening when the original showrunners either leave to pursue other opportunities or back off their day-to-day involvement. New writers come on and although they try to be faithful to the series, elements of their sensibilities begin to seep in. It’s only natural. And by the way, sometimes this can be a good thing. Occasionally show improve as a result of the new blood. Many DR. WHO fans feel that way about Steven Moffat’s arrival to that series.

My writing partner, David Isaacs and I once found ourselves in a quandary about how to write FRASIER.

We had been writing the Frasier Crane character since he first joined CHEERS in the third season. We continued to write him for the first few years of his own show. Then we went off to do ALMOST PERFECT for two years.

When that show was unceremoniously dumped by CBS we were invited back on FRASIER. By then Casey, Lee & Angell were less involved than the first few years. Christopher Lloyd and Joe Keenan were essentially running the show... and continuing to win Emmys year after year.  

We met with them and beat out the story for what eventually became the “Room Service” episode. This was season six. Since we had been away from the show for a couple of years we asked to screen some recent episodes. What we discovered was that Frasier Crane had changed. His dialogue became much more florid. His speeches were filled with little ornamentations and curly-cues. Not exactly the Frasier we remembered.

So we were left with a choice. We could either write the “new” Frasier or the character that we were used to.

We decided to write him the way we always had. Instead of trying to out-guess Chris & Joe, we thought “let’s write him our way and they can always rewrite us and add the curly-cues.” So that’s what we did.

To our happy surprise, they didn’t change our Frasier dialogue at all. And when we watched the episode, we were very pleased. First of all, David Lee did a fantastic job of directing it, but beyond that it just felt like the character as we knew him.

We wrote several more episodes of FRASIER over the next few years and it was the same pattern – we went back to our version and they kept it.

Proud to say that David Isaacs and I and David Lloyd are the only writers to have written Frasier Crane from his first year at CHEERS to his last year on FRASIER. And David Isaacs and I are also the only writers to write Frasier Crane in three separate series. We wrote the episode of WINGS in which he appeared. So far this distinction has not resulted in jack shit.  No perks whatsoever.

But the point is you have to write what works for you. And I know that can be tough, especially if you’re on an assignment. Obviously, when writing someone else’s show you have to be as faithful to those characters as you can, but it’s an almost impossible task to out-guess someone. When you’re thinking, “What words would (showrunner’s name here) use in this speech?” you’re digging yourself into a hole. You’re not that person. You’re can’t be in his head. Don’t let him get into yours. Take your shot. You might be surprised. He might even like your take better than his own.

Chase vs. Harmon Update

So Dan Harmon has apologized. Kinda. Sorta. In his blog yesterday he addressed the brouhaha surrounding his recent feud with Chevy Chase that has resulted in enough articles and blog posts (including one by your humble host) to take the heat off of Keith Olbermann. The real loser here is Gloria Allred. America’s number one attention whore is representing the disqualified transgender Miss Universe Canada contestant and no one cares. (Losing a case Allred can handle, but a press conference that doesn’t get coverage? Catastrophe!)

Harmon has acknowledged that the negative feedback has gotten to him. I think the cyber tally prior to his mea culpa was 10 thumbs-up for “like” and 4,000,000 whatever the icon is for “you’re-a-douche.” (Hey, I’m sure I can expect 500 “you’re a douche” claims myself just by addressing this topic again. Commenters appear more passionate about this than say how we approached writing the character of Frasier.)

Anyway, Harmon apologized for playing Chase’s voicemail during his stand-up act. He then tries to disarm his detractors by saying, “I’m a selfish baby and a rude asshole and not a person to trust with your feelings.”

That’s all very commendable (and probably true), but Harmon never mentions the incident at the wrap party where he insulted Chase in front of his wife and daughter. I’m sure Gloria Allred is calling Chevy right now seeking to represent him.

Do I really care whether Harmon gives Chase a proper apology? No. Do you? But because it was a half-apology, this story and mud slinging will continue.

The internet has been a wonderful thing for showrunners. They’ve been able to drum up support for their shows and attract some attention to themselves. It still pisses me off every time I pick up an ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY and see their Sound Bites feature where they show TV actors and post lines their characters have said. To the public, that looks like the actors came up with those pithy lines. None of them did. Writers wrote those! At least now through blogs and social networks, writers and showrunners can finally step into the limelight (assuming Twitter is the limelight).

But the web is also a trap. Transgressions get circulated instantly. Blog posts and angry Tweets are broadcast worldwide. I’m sure there were peasants in caves in Afghanistan following the Marc Cherry-Nicollette Sheridan trial.

Here's my point:  Showrunners have to take special care not to air any dirty laundry publicly. This is not just preferable; it’s imperative. Remember, you’re not just representing your show. You’re also representing the studio and the network. They do not like being embarrassed. They may tolerate it if your show still has some value to them, but good luck in the future when you’re no longer hot. Don’t needlessly shoot yourself in the foot for the benefit of your Facebook friends.

And then there’s the immediate problem: Internal incidents become major crises. And when that occurs you no longer have control over the situation. Now you’re also fighting public opinion and who can predict that?   Herman Cain got votes!  

Let’s take this specific COMMUNITY situation. Had Harmon handled Chase’s walking off the set discreetly, he could have made a much easier case for himself to fire Chase after the season. Now he has to contend with all the Chevy Chase fans rallying to his defense. And all the people who aren’t necessarily Chevy Chase fans but are taking his side in this scuffle. Thousands of emails I’m sure are pouring into NBC whereas there could have been none. Who needs that aggravation?

Harmon claims it’s his passion for the show and desire to please the audience that causes him to make these errors in judgment. I can appreciate that and have no doubt he’s pouring his heart and soul into COMMUNITY. But in the process he’s hurting his cause and making it harder on himself.

So showrunners, for the sake of COMMUNITY, and every show for that matter – do yourself a favor. Keep all squabbles private. Your loyal followers will not un-follow you. Gloria Allred will thank you. And tomorrow I can post that piece I prepared on how we wrote Frasier.

FRIENDS WITH KIDS

I hesitate to recommend this movie because, like THE ARTIST, it might only be playing in three theaters in America (while HUNGER GAMES plays in all the rest). But should your Cineplex have 36 screens, perhaps one (the smallest) will have FRIENDS WITH KIDS. And if so, check it out.

Why might FRIENDS WITH KIDS be so hard to find? Because it’s geared to a minuscule subculture of moviegoers -- namely adults. Take any Adam Sandler comedy and this is the opposite of it. That alone should be enough to get you into the theater.

But on its own merit, FRIENDS WITH KIDS is worth seeing. It’s a smart ensemble romantic comedy about parenthood in upscale New York. Two best platonic friends decide to have a kid together trying to avoid the pitfalls their married friends have had once they became parents. WHEN HARRY KNOCKED UP SALLY.

Jennifer Westfeldt wrote, directed, and stars in it. Otherwise, she had nothing to do with the film. Oh wait – she also produced it. For my money, she was four-for-four. Most impressive to me was the screenplay. I found it so refreshing to follow characters who felt real, said funny things that actual human beings would say, and communicated without the benefit of pratfalls.

If you liked the cast of BRIDESMAIDS you’ll like this because it’s essentially the same group. Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Chris O’Dowd, and Jon Hamm are all there. But be forewarned: no one defecates in the street in this movie. So attend at your own risk.

Starring along with Jennifer Westfeldt is Adam Scott -- the Adam who should be starring in screen comedies, not Sandler. Whether it’s PARKS AND RECREATION or PARTY DOWN or anything he’s in – Scott manages to steal every scene with just his pitch-perfect comic reactions. He and Jennifer make a lovely screen couple, even when they’re dating other people.

Full disclosure: I checked Rotten Tomatoes to see what the critics had to say and the reviews were essentially positive, but there were those who gave it thumbs down. So it’s either sharp, funny, and touching or cutesy, crass, and overfamiliar depending on who you believe.

 One thing I notice is that when film critics dislike comedies they always accuse them of being “sitcommy.” That’s the withering blow – the film is a glorified sitcom. I sure wish they’d specify which sitcom however. How many romcoms have you seen lately that are better than SEINFELD or FRASIER? But if the critics like a movie they never compare it to a sitcom. I noticed that with 21 JUMP STREET even though it is adapted from a TV action-comedy.

FRIENDS WITH KIDS. See it at a theater if it’s still in release where you are. Or it’ll be the movie showing on your next flight. Then there’s always ON DEMAND, NETFLIX, premium cable. And I’m sure each network is developing a sitcom based on the premise. For all I know Jennifer Westfeldt is writing, directing, and starring in three of them.

Chevy Chase vs. Dan Harmon

The feud between COMMUNITY showrunner Dan Harmon and prima-donna/overrated/has-been star Chevy Chase has spilled out into the open. And it’s GREAT FUN!!

Let me tell you the backstory as objectively as I can.  And please know I have never met either party.


Difficult/unfunny/lucky to have any job, Chevy Chase apparently stormed off the set on the final episode thus forcing the writers to scramble.

Later, at the wrap party (where the ingrate actor did attend along with his wife and daughter), Dan Harmon proposed a toast, inviting the rest of the cast and crew to join in a rousing salute of, “Fuck you, Chevy!” The over-the-hill target was so enraged he and his family left.

It gets better. As they say on COMMUNITY – wait for it.

Former SNL cast member (now banned from the show) Chase calls Harmon and leaves a blistering voicemail message. Part of the message has leaked to the world. In addition to using every swear word at least twice, he calls Harmon fat and an alcoholic. Where does Chevy Chase, of all people, get off calling ANYONE fat and an alcoholic? In the rant he says, ““I don’t get talked to like that by anyone. Certainly not in front of my wife and daughter you goddamn asshole!” Okay. I’ll give him that. Because they fear for their jobs, everyone he’s worked with only says, “Fuck you, Chevy!” to his back. 

And, to be fair, I don't condone Harmon's ploy.   There are more elegant ways to handle this situation. 

Chase (whose last successful movie was over twenty years ago) goes on to complain about the writing. The COMMUNITY staff works literally around-the-clock and strives like no other show to be original and out-of-the-box. You might not agree with the results (and sometimes I don’t), but you have to give them props for always trying to top themselves. The writing on COMMUNITY is never lazy or formula.

Meanwhile, fellow-cast-member Jim Rash, who just won an Oscar for writing, doesn’t seem to have a problem with the COMMUNITY scripts.

Chase (whose talk show was one of television’s legendary disasters) has been biting the hand that feeds him frequently. He has publicly said he hates sitcoms. He told the Huffington Post recently: “This is the only time I’ve ever had to act every week in the same clothes and as the same character, and I don’t find it particularly enlightening. It’s not teaching anybody anything.”

Not teaching anybody anything? What did you teach them in THE KARATE DOG? Or NATIONAL LAMPOON EUROPEAN VACATION? CADDYSHACK II? OH HEAVENLY DOG? UNDER THE RAINBOW?

As someone who has been a showrunner myself, I always judge bad actor behavior on the “Is he worth it?” scale. Marilyn Monroe’s shenanigans used to drive director Billy Wilder nuts. But he put up with them, once saying, “My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?” Is Chevy Chase integral to COMMUNITY? Hell no. Is he replaceable? Hell yes. Do you even need another character in his place? Another hell no.

I think it’s a moot point anyway because although Chase says, “it depends on what happens” whether he returns to the show, there’s no way in fucking hell Harmon will allow him back.

Here’s what I don’t like about this juicy Hollywood story and what I do like.  (Remember, I'm Mr. Objective.)

The don’t like part first. By acting like a total jerk, Chase perpetuates the stereotype that actors are all out-of-control ego maniacal monsters. The truth is 95% of them are consummate professionals and easy to work with. They may have creative disagreements with you, but this is a collaborative process. They voice their concerns in a respectful way, and although I hate to admit it, they’re often right.  So he does his fellow actors a disservice... not that he gives a shit, I'm sure.  No one who walks off a set in the middle of a scene has any regard for his fellow actors. 

Now the like part. When showrunners clash with stars and one has to go, usually it’s the showrunner. This pendulum is starting to swing the other way. Charlie Sheen was fired from TWO AND A HALF MEN, not Chuck Lorre. And in this case Dan Harmon will surely prevail. Yay showrunners!

Chevy Chase will not get another show. And trust me, despite what he says, in another few years when the only work he can get is dinner theaters in North Dakota, the idea of steady employment on a network sitcom will look pretty damn good to him. But no offer will come. COMMUNITY only came along because then-NBC president, Ben Silverman forced Chase on Harmon. That won’t happen again. Chase has no name recognition factor anymore and the “Is he worth it?” scale is now pinning in the “no”.

Also, the buzz this story has created might benefit COMMUNITY’S campaign to get renewed for next season. What other NBC show is anyone talking about? So that’s a good thing – maybe the best thing Chase has contributed to the series in his entire tenure.

Final thought:  As many readers have pointed out, Harmon doesn't appear to be an angel either.  I've never met him, but I know there are former COMMUNITY writers who have run screaming from the show because of the insane hours.  Showrunning is incredibly stressful and arrows come at you from all sides.  It's not just difficult actors.  It's the network, studio, critics, religious zealots, and now bloggers.   But I've always approached the job this way:  the showrunner is mommy & daddy.  The cast and crew are your kids.  You be the grown-up. 

And as for Chevy, he'll be opening soon in YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN at the Emter Dinner Theater in Jamestown, North Dakota.  And there's RV parking!


Wait for it. 

A great April Fool's Joke... on ME

Someone emailed to congratulate me on being considered for one of TIME magazine's 100 most influential people in the world.   This was a big thrill until I realized that it was the other Ken Levine who was being considered -- the one who creates epic video games. 

Still, I had to marvel at what an elaborate April Fool's prank this was on me.  I mean, TIME magazine was in on it.  Fortunately, I figured this out almost immediately (because, really -- me among the 100 most influential people of the world -- who are we kidding?) and didn't gloat to my friends, have stationery printed up, or rub it in the faces of those girls in high school who wouldn't go out with me (not that I haven't gotten over that).

But then the thought occurred: Last year TIME magazine named my blog one of the Top 25 on the web.  Was that meant for the other Ken Levine too?  Turns out, no.  It was my blog singled out.   I am so relieved.  I would hate to have to call all those girls back and tell them it wasn't my blog after all.  

In any event, best of luck to the other Ken Levine.    If it can't be me, at least let it be someone mistaken for me. 

The Real Don Steele

The Real Don Steele would have been 76 today. You've probably heard me talk of him before. He's one of my idols (American or otherwise).

He passed away on August 5, 1997. For thirty years The Real Don Steele ruled the Los Angeles airwaves, most notably on 93/KHJ “Boss Radio” in the 60’s and 70’s. Outrageous, electrifying, thrilling – that was Real on…and OFF the air. If you want to hear the greatest cookin’ jock to ever crack a mike in the heyday of top 40. You can check him out here.

Real also appeared in some highly prestigious films such as EATING RAOUL, DEATH RACE 2000 (starring Sylvester Stallone), ROCK N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL, and Ron Howard’s first directing effort, GRAND THEFT AUTO. Television credits are equally as impressive: TALES FROM THE CRYPT and HERE COMES THE BRIDES.

I had the pleasure of working with him at two radio stations, K100 and TenQ in LA in the 70’s. He also fell off my couch stinking drunk one night and my wife still invited him to dinner again.

His catch phrase was “Tina Delgado is alive, ALIVE!” shouted by some unknown frenzied girl. No one ever knew the story behind it. Who Tina Degado was. How he came to use it. Even what the hell it meant. But it didn’t matter. It was all part of the excitement this larger-than-life personality created for “the magnificent megalopolis of Boss Angeles” three hours every day…and especially on “Fractious Fridays”.

Every year on his birthday, April 1st, I wish that maybe his passing is just an April’s Fool joke. That would be so like him. And at 3:00 I could turn on the radio, “Devil with a Blue Dress” by Mitch Ryder would come blazing out of my speaker and I would hear “The Real Don Steele is alive, ALIVE!”

He is in my heart. And always will be.