My thoughts on the recent Aaron Sorkin controversy

A lot of readers are asking my opinion of the recent Aaron Sorkin/Alena Smith flap. This is nice. Before I had a blog no one asked me about anything. So I’ll take a moment from plugging my book sale (the real reason for this blog) and weigh in with my thoughts.

In case you’re not familiar with the story. On last Sunday night’s episode of THE NEWSROOM there was a campus rape storyline that has angered many viewers. It’s also very timely considering the recent Cosby allegations and University of Virginia/ROLLING STONE debacle. But the episode was filmed months ago. The fact that Sorkin touched on a hotbed subject is actually coincidental. It happens. Real life events sometimes have the audacity to interfere with entertainment scheduling.

Alena Smith was a staff writer on the show and tweeted this week that she strongly disagreed with Sorkin’s position on the campus rape issue in the writers room, and when she wouldn’t stop pressing it Sorkin eventually asked her to leave.

Sorkin then issued a statement. Here is part of that response:

Alena Smith, a staff writer who joined the show for the third season, had strong objections to the Princeton story and made those objections known to me and to the room. I heard Alena's objections and there was some healthy back and forth. After a while I needed to move on (there's a clock ticking) but Alena wasn't ready to do that yet. I gave her more time but then I really needed to move on. Alena still wouldn't let me do that so I excused her from the room.

The next day I wrote a new draft of the Princeton scenes--the draft you saw performed last night. Alena gave the new pages her enthusiastic support. So I was surprised to be told this morning that Alena had tweeted out her unhappiness with the story. But I was even more surprised that she had so casually violated the most important rule of working in a writers room which is confidentiality. It was a room in which people felt safe enough to discuss private and intimate details of their lives in the hope of bringing dimension to stories that were being pitched. That's what happens in writers rooms and while ours was the first one Alena ever worked in, the importance of privacy was made clear to everyone on our first day of work and was reinforced constantly. I'm saddened that she's broken that trust.

And now Sorkin is taking more flack.

So where do I stand?

Well, first of all, I wasn’t in the room. I don’t know how long the debate was. I don’t know how contentious the debate was. I don’t know Alena Smith. I didn’t even know Aaron Sorkin had a writers room. I did see the episode however. I am still a loyal viewer of THE NEWSROOM. It makes me feel smart if I can understand half of what is going on. So I have no idea who was right or wrong. I’m clueless as to whether Sorkin gave her sufficient time or was dismissive, whether she had a myriad of points that required time to express or the same point repeated seven times. I don’t know if he warned her that she was in jeopardy of being tossed. I don’t know if ultimately in his rewrite Sorkin did change things as per her argument or ignored her completely.

But I side with Sorkin on this point: Confidentiality in the writers’ room is a must. And it’s more than just “you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry in public.” Writers need to feel safe. The best stories and moments come from real life, and in the quest for a good story a writer will often share the most intimate details of his or her life. It is a brave and courageous thing to do, to expose yourself for the sake of art. You truly cannot believe some of the shocking things writers will confess in those rooms – things they haven’t told their family, spouse, or shrink. I was once in a rewrite (and this was for a sitcom) where one of the baby writers revealed she had once been gangbanged. Holy shit! She’s telling me this and I didn’t even know her name?

When you join a writing staff it is understood that you honor confidentiality. That’s a cardinal rule. No exceptions. Heide Perlman was a staff writer on CHEERS. Her sister, Rhea, was in the cast. But we knew that nothing said in the room about Rhea or anybody would ever get back to her. And we all said NICE things.

But that’s the code and Alena broke it. Did she ultimately harm anybody? No. But it’s like Pete Rose gambling in baseball. After the Black Sox scandal in 1919 baseball determined that the one thing that could kill the game was if the public thought it was fixed. So there is a rule that players, managers, and coaches are forbidden to bet on baseball. They sign agreements to that effect. There are big signs posted in every major league clubhouse. When Pete was managing Cincinnati he broke that code. You could argue that he only bet on his team, but what about nights he didn’t bet? Wasn’t that sending the message that he didn’t think his team would win that night? Wouldn’t that be handy information to have if you’re a professional gambler?

Again, I’ve never worked for Aaron Sorkin. I might want to kill him if I did. I dunno. He might want to kill me if he were ever on my staff.  But internal struggles have to remain internal. It’s necessary for the process.

Think of it this way:  the writers' room is the ultimate Las Vegas.  What happens in the room STAYS in the room.

Some suggest that Alena Smith will have trouble getting future staff work because of this. In some cases I’m sure that’s true. Would I ever hire her? If I thought she was the best writer for the position then yes I would. Really good writers are hard to find. And the confidentiality issue?  I bet she never does that again.

Now the plug for my book:  Last few days of the sale of  THE ME GENERATION...BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60S).  Only $.99, an 81% saving.   Way more laughs to the penny than you'll ever find again.  Here's where you go.  But hurry!  

WHIPLASH -- It's got a good beat and you can dance to it

Now that I’ve seen WHIPLASH, I think back to those Farmers Insurance commercials featuring J.K. Simmons as a teacher at “Farmers University” and wonder what hell he put his students through. “Write up that claim, you pansy-ass worthless piece of shit! Faster! FASTER!  Are you waiting for the muse to strike, you sensitive little fucking insignificant mama’s boy whiner?!” And I picture the agent wannabes marching in perfect formation for fifty miles while singing “We are Farmers, bump be-dee-bump, bump bump bump!”

J.K. Simmons, a gifted comic actor most of the time, plays a terrifying but absolutely riveting music teacher in WHIPLASH, easily one of the best movies of the year. It’s FAME meets THE GREAT SANTANI with a little ROCKY, HOOSIERS, and FULL METAL JACKET thrown in for spice. Or THE BLACK SWAN without any eating disorders. The music is heart-pounding and thrilling. Ladies and gentleman, the beat REALLY goes on. And yes, it’s a movie about jazz music but there’s more blood than in JAWS.

I could really relate because that's my teaching style at USC. 

Simmons has played bad-ass before -- anyone who’s seen him in OZ knows not to say anything that might hurt his feelings. But here he takes “tough love teacher” to a whole ‘nother place – Guantanamo I think. Oscar nomination? A lock.

So imagine having to co-star with such a magnetic, forceful actor. Newcomer Miles Teller holds his own and more as the young drum student who is pushed to levels one step beyond Travis Bickle. At times Teller reminded me of young a Dustin Hoffman, but way more intense. And wow, can he play drums. Think: Buddy Rich not Ringo. Oscar nomination? I hope so.

Paul Reiser played Teller’s father and didn’t talk incessantly so it was his best performance since DINER.

In a movie that celebrates extraordinary talent, Damien Chazelle proves to be just that as both a writer and director. While Hollywood is fawning all over the Michael Bay’s of the world, people like Chazelle is who they should really be going after. It’s a shame to think that for a movie this good to get any distribution it has to be made independently and win a bunch of awards at film festivals. And then it gets booked into art houses. I wonder how many of you are in small towns where this movie isn’t even playing while DUMBER AND DUMBER TO is showing on fifteen screens.

If you get a chance, see WHIPLASH. Oh, and if you play an instrument – practice.

My Kindle version of THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60S) remains on sale for $.99, which is way less than a dollar.   If you don't want to relive your youth then at least relive mine.  Here's where you go.  Thanks.

My version of Cyber Monday: My book is now on sale for $.99

That's right.  For just a few days only, the Kindle version of my book THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s) will be sale for only $.99.  That's an 81% discount.  

It's the perfect gift for the holidays, especially for baby boomers (so in other words -- your parents, co-workers, aging hippies, or you).   The book chronicles my attempting to grow up in Southern California during the most turbulent and drugged-out decade of the century.  It's all here -- the California Myth, the Sunset Strip, psychedelia, the space race, the Summer of Love, student unrest, sitting home while others had sex.  

Here's where you go to order.   

Seriously, this sale is only for a few days.  So take advantage.  Enjoy a fun ride and support this blog for only $.99.

Here's an excerpt: 

I turned 16 on Valentine’s Day. This is a bigger milestone for girls. Guys do not have Sweet Sixteen parties. They just get their driver’s license.

Unless they have no depth perception, took the exam in a Chevy Impala the size of an aircraft carrier, and failed the test miserably. Happy birthday to me.

The worst part was that I had to wait several weeks to re-take the exam. So everybody knew I failed. To save face – because how humiliating to say you couldn’t parallel park – I just said I hit a guy.

After much practice, re-taking the test in my mom’s Mercury Comet (a car that could fit in the Impala’s glove compartment), I finally passed and got that elusive passport to freedom.

Which meant I finally went out on a real first date. I was still way too intimidated to ask Bev Fine so I asked Marcy Loudon. I wanted to get a few rejections under my belt first so I could better withstand Bev’s ultimate lethal blow. Amazingly, Marcy said yes and that Saturday night I took her to the Corbin Theater on Ventura Blvd. to see one of the great date movies of all-time, To Kill A Mockingbird.

The plan was to put my arm around her about halfway into the film. It was tough though finding just that right moment in the rape trial. I think I got up the courage and draped my arm around her just as Tom is shot to death while trying to escape from jail.

For a nightcap I took Marcy to Farrell’s Ice Cream parlor where we discussed the differences between the movie and the book, and I had her home by midnight. A quick peck on the cheek and that was it.

All girls had curfews back then. Midnight was standard. The penalty for violation was usually grounding. Grounding was actually an effective deterrent in 1966 – at least for the girls I dated. I’m sure my classmate who slept with own her brother didn’t give a shit if she couldn’t go to the Spring Sing. But the girls I dated always insisted on being home by twelve. And I choose to believe it was because of that severe penalty. Please allow me that little fantasy.

What's it like writing for animals?

A lot easier than directing them. On FRASIER the key to writing for Eddie was not asking too much of him. Moose (Eddie’s real name) had an extraordinary trainer in Mathilde de Cagny. As long as the stunt was quick and doable, Mathilde could get Moose to do it (always through treats and loving care). If there was some question while we were writing we would just ask Mathilde. More often than not she’d say Moose could do it. The dog was a gamer! With actors we had to ask their managers.

Other writers were more of a problem. One day in the writers room I pitched some bit with Eddie and a sock and one of the writers (who constantly drove everyone nuts) asked, “What is Eddie thinking now?” What is he fucking THINKING??! How do you answer someone like that without being brought up on charges?

Moose passed away at 15, which is like 108 dog years. I'm only sorry he never got to be on INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO with James Lipton.

Directing animals is another story.

I directed an episode of JUST SHOOT ME called “Sewer”. The B-story had Nina (Wendie Malick) bringing in an orangutan. I forget why but I’m sure it was for a good reason. He was a little harder to train and was in a good part of the show.

On filming night I said to the actors, if he does anything unexpected just go with it and stay in character. We can always re-shoot the scene. Likewise, I told the four camera operators, if you’re on the orangutan and he does something wacky stay on him. Don’t go to your next shot.

Sure enough with cameras rolling and the audience in place, Wendie steps out of the elevator hand in hand with her furry friend, approaches David Spade’s counter, and has a brief exchange with him. The orangutan, who comes up to Wendie’s knees, lifts her dress a few inches, and peers right up between her legs. God love her, Wendie stayed completely in character and reacted with utter nonchalance. The audience went completely nuts. It was a five minute laugh.

After the show had been filmed and the audience released I went back to do some pick-ups. The orangutan’s trainer tapped me on the shoulder and gently told me it was past his bedtime. I said it would only be about another fifteen minutes. He repeated: “Uh, it’s past his bedtime.” I then asked what happens if he stays up after his bedtime?

“He bites everybody he sees.”

“Okay everybody, that’s a wrap!”

I’ve heard stories of actors who were reluctant to work with animals for fear of being upstaged, but I’ve never personally encountered one. However, I think there was a cat who once refused to work with Dustin Hoffman.

This was a repost from four years ago.

Your life is not a sitcom

Over the years I’ve been pitched hundreds of ideas from people not in the business. I was handling funeral arrangements for my grandmother's passing and the mortician pitched me a movie. Small sample size, but so far there’s not one pitch I’ve sparked to. Most of the pitches go like this:

“I work at __________ and you wouldn’t believe how funny it is there? I mean, the things that go on, I could tell you stories, you could write a GREAT sitcom about it.”

If I’m lucky they’ll leave it there but most times they add one or two of those hilarious incidents. They’re usually on a caliber of “we got a guy who never puts sugar in his coffee and one time when he wasn’t looking some slipped in some sugar and then when he drank he went, “Eeeeeuu! Did someone put sugar in my coffee?” At this point the storyteller is usually convulsing with laughter just recalling this classic event. I’m praying for a meteor.


“Tonight, on a very special episode of LAMP SALESMAN, someone slips sugar in Dan’s coffee.”Just because you sell lamps, or work in a real estate office, or a Costco, or in a barbershop, or at a train station and there are co-workers who are a little quirky, this does not mean you have the premise for a sitcom. You have the premise for a work location. And chances are, even with those zany “nuts” you work with, your situation is no funnier than any of the others.

Here’s what nobody ever pitches me: a show about a relationship. THE OFFICE is funny because of the relationship between Michael and his employees. It is funnier still because of the relationships among the employees. What they actually manufacture is completely unimportant.

Start with the characters first.

What about the dynamics between them are interesting, fresh, and could sustain stories week after week? And then, what is the best setting to put them in? One that hasn’t been seen before is a plus but not imperative. How many shows and plays and radio series have been set in bars?

That said, there are some areas that are tougher sales than others. Madcap terrorist cells probably won’t fly.

But the next time you come up to me, assuming it’s not in a funeral parlor (and his movie idea was just friggin’ awful), and you have a great idea for a series, start with who are they are, not what they do. And if they truly are interesting you won’t even need those hilarious incidents.

This is a re-post from five years ago. 

PETER PAN LIVE -- My review

Friday Questions will not be seen this week so that we can bring you this special program. Friday Questions will return in its normal time next week. But now, we proudly present: PETER PAN THE DAY AFTER.

The very fact that everybody is talking about PETER PAN LIVE today makes it a huge success in my book. How often in these days of 900 channels (600 of them featuring cooking shows) does the country experience a shared event? And you had to watch it last night because it was live and you knew it would be the topic of conversation in every school, office, and maximum security prison in the land.

Oh, and it wasn’t all that bad. Certainly not like that SOUND OF MUSIC train wreck last year when all of America was screaming, “Bring on the Nazis already!” And PETER PAN LIVE was an enormous undertaking. Kudos to the hundreds of people behind-the-scenes who pulled off this highly ambitious project with no room for error. Yes, there were wires but no nets.

Do I have quibbles and snarky comments? Oh yeah. It wouldn’t be me otherwise, but on the whole I thought everyone involved should be applauded for a job well done.

First off, Allison Williams surpassed my expectations as Peter. She can sing well enough, crow well enough, and if she threw every teenage boy into a frenzied state of sexual confusion, well, so be it. At least we had Clarissa there to explain it all to you.

On the other hand, Christopher Sleep-Walken – what the fuck was he doing? Even for Chris Walken he was clueless. If there ever was a “lost” boy on the set it was Walken (who you know I normally love). Half the time he couldn’t remember his lines and the ones he said were probably snippets of dialogue from DEER HUNTER.

Now let’s go through the show:

The opening scene was slow and endless – the MUPPET BABIES version of DOWNTON ABBEY. Nana, the dog, however, knew her cues better than Christopher Walken. Did they have to make the wires SO noticeable? They couldn’t have found clear wires? I mean, we know it’s a special effect, but if they’re going to do that, why not just have a Teamster come into the set and double check her harness?

The best singer and most accomplished actress in the entire production was Kelli O’Hara and she disappears for 2 ½ hours.

Maybe it’s because I saw the original Mary Martin versions but some songs like “I’m Flying”, “Wendy”, and “I’ll Never Grow Up” still get me every time.

Off to Never-Never Land. First stop: a gay bar with a pirate theme. When they all started prancing around with tambourines all I could think was “where were the cowbells?”

And what was with that strange pirate musical number that cut to commercial while Walken was straining to hold the last note, and then after five minutes of spots, they went back to him choking the note to death for ten more seconds, and then another five minute commercial break? I bet Walken thought he was on the entire time. Either that or he didn’t know he was on television at all.

The Jolly Roger didn’t need an anchor. It needed cue cards.

Lots of cleaning went on at Never-Never Land apparently. The pirates were swabbing the deck and the Lost Boys were sweeping their pad. I was beginning to think we were watching Felix Unger’s childhood wet dream.

The Lost Boys should be called Lost Men. Was there one of them under 35? Really. I would not have been surprised to see Woody Allen in short pants as part of the group. And what was with the German schoolboy uniforms they all wore? Did wardrobe get a deal on the costumes from SPRING AWAKENING?

It was only mildly creepy that 35-year-old men wanted a 25-year-old girl to be their mother. But let’s be real – PETER PAN is a pretty weird story no matter who does it. Children are abducted. Hot girls play young boys. Father-figures play the villain. And there’s more killing than an episode of 24.

I’m assuming the show got big ratings. If I know Mark Burnett, this spring expect to see SURVIVOR: NEVERLAND on CBS.

Update:  The ratings were disappointing.  Down 46% from last year's SOUND OF MUSIC.  Either the novelty has worn off or they should have gotten Lady Gaga to play Peter. 

Tiger Lily was pretty hot. I think Cher wore that same outfit during her Vegas stint. Her tribe consisted of authentic native-professional wrestlers. Glad they didn’t sing “Ugg-a-Wugg.” That’s a song that belongs in “Never-Never-Again Land.”

Those wildly day-glo Neverland outdoor sets that just exploded with every color in the rainbow looked like the backyard in every Disney Channel family sitcom. Hey, NBC, we all have color TV’s now. It’s no big deal.

Loved the Brian Williams promo in his daughter’s show.

Was that a sad crocodile? Did they hire a second grade class to design and build it? So scrawny. Hook shouldn’t be worried, even if he’s eaten. Clearly this is the one bulimic crocodile.

When the Lost Boys were kidnapped it looked like one was holding a Torah. Never growing up means putting off your Bar Mitzvah indefinitely.

So let me get this straight – the Captain’s name is James Hook and he just coincidentally lost a hand and has to wear a hook? Thank goodness his parents weren’t the Dickless family.

Certainly one of the highlights of any production of PETER PAN is when Peter addresses the audience and asks children to clap and show they believe in fairies. I’m sure when I saw this as a kid it wasn’t at 10:45 at night.  But we didn't have Wal-Mart back then.

In the big climactic scene when Hook blames Wendy for all the misfortune saying that a woman on the ship was bad luck, how I was hoping he’d slip and call her Natalie Wood.

During the program they invited viewers to Live Tweet. If I may be cynical for a moment, I wouldn’t be surprised if NBC didn’t care whether you hated the show. As long as you were tuned in. Hate-watchers count in the ratings just as much as adoring fans. And by suggesting people Live Tweet, knowing they were going to get crushed, they were encouraging hate watching. If this is the case, NBC, Allison Williams deserved better. She worked way too hard to be held up as a target.

Yes, part of the fun of a big live event is goofing on it. And when you take the big stage you have to know that’s part of the bargain. But all kidding aside, adapting Broadway musicals to television is incredibly difficult. It’s so hard to capture the thrilling experience that only live theater can provide. Add to that, all the commercial breaks – each one lasting as long as a normal theatrical intermission. So imagine trying to weave a magic spell when you have twelve intermissions during your show. And for the most part, you’re not using seasoned Broadway veterans who know how to keep the energy up for an entire performance. In this case you're using a former movie star who is a caricature of himself.  For all those reasons, I give PETER PAN LIVE high marks.

Allison, feel free to crow.

Friday Questions on Thursday

The Friday Questions are beginning to stack up so I thought I’d add an extra day.  Feel free to leave your Friday (or Thursday) Questions in the comments section. Thanks.  Meanwhile, I may review PETER PAN tonight and pre-empt Friday Questions or move them to one weekday next week to totally confuse you. 

Tyler starts us off:

I've noticed in the first couple of seasons of Frasier that a smaller version of Cafe Nervosa is sometimes used. It's the area up stage near the bathrooms. But after those first few years we never see this version again. So I guess my question is was there a need for a small set early on that was later resolved?

Very observant, Tyler. Yes, there were two versions of Café Nervosa. There was only so much room on Stage 25 at Paramount so if the episode required a large swing set (say a ballroom for a wedding scene), the size of Café Nervosa could be adjusted to accommodate it. Roy Christopher did an amazing job designing the FRASIER sets.

From Jim:

How often does a showrunning partnership dissolve and has there ever been an instance where, like this Levitan/Lloyd divorce, two separate camps and sensibilities continue production?

Partnerships can dissolve. There is enormous pressure showrunning a series and it can take its toll on many relationships.

There was a similar situation to MODERN FAMILY back in the ‘80s with a series called BUFFALO BILL. It was created by Tom Patchett & Jay Tarses who had been writing partners for years. And prior to that they had been a stand-up act together. After the first season of BUFFALO BILL they split their partnership and did exactly what Steve and Chris are doing on MODERN FAMILY. They alternated episodes.

What I don’t know is whether either of these shows had separate writers for each co-showrunner or the staff worked with both. That would be tough, I imagine because then it’s like you’re working on two separate shows.

Carl asks:

Ken, have you ever had a line or bit of business that you felt was funny but just wouldn't get a laugh no matter what you did with it?

Too many times to count. I toss it out and replace it with something else. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.  On the other hand, there are intended straight lines that out of the blue get laughs. Don’t know why but I just thank the Comedy Gods and move on.

Brian Phillips queries:

With no disrespect to David Isaacs, have you co-written with someone else?

Yes, I co-wrote a spec screenplay that sold to MGM with Robin Schiff. (Robin also co-created and ran ALMOST PERFECT with me and David.) I co-wrote the musical THE ‘60S PROJECT with Janet Brenner that was produced at the Goodspeed Theatre in Connecticut in 2006.

And my first partner was Joel Siegel. Remember him as the movie critic for GOOD MORNING AMERICA? We were in the same army reserve unit and during one two-week active duty summer camp we were assigned to write a musical comedy designed to get reservists to re-enlist. Yes, I know. Everything about that sentence is bizarre.

Still, my real partner is David and we continue to work on projects together to this day.

Charles Jurries wraps it up.

Stephen Collins (7th Heaven) and Bill Cosby have been accused of some terrible things, and the repercussions have been in part taken out on their current projects and/or shows in syndication. As someone who’s worked on many legendary TV series, do you ever wonder if something will come out to distort, even temporarily, the show's legacy? (Something like the Stephen Collins or Bill Cosby allegations.)

Not until you brought it up. Actually, no. I think I know the actors I worked with well enough to be reasonably certain they weren’t those kinds of people.

Whether the allegations are true or not, there have been rumors about Cosby for years.

So keep watching MASH and CHEERS and FRASIER all starring upstanding actors.

BONUS QUESTION:

A number of you have asked if I could do my play, A OR B?  in Seattle or Philadelphia or wherever.  I would be happy to do it anywhere.  

If you are a producer or theater group that would be interested, please contact me.  bossjock@dslextreme.com.   I would hope a two-character romantic comedy with minimal sets would be an attractive prospect to some regional venue.   I'd love to go to Seattle or Philly or even Broadway if I have to.  That's how much I believe in this play.     Thanks much.

Join me on TCM

I will be hosting the "Friday Night Spotlight" on Turner Classic Movies the entire month of January.  Yes, I can't believe it either.  It will be a Neil Simon Film Festival, showing seventeen of Neil's films.  Needless to say, I couldn't be more thrilled or honored.  As many of you know, Neil Simon is an idol of mine.  I've written about him numerous times in this blog.  So I get to be "Robert Osborne"for a month.  How cool is that? 



I recently went to Atlanta to tape my segments.  More on that as we get closer.   Again, thanks to TCM for entrusting me with their Neil Simon salute.   If I can't be him, at least I can introduce his films.  I hope you'll join me.  And even if you skip my intros and outros, watch these movies.  There are some real gems. 

Here's the schedule. 

January 2

8:00 PM

Odd Couple, The (1968)

10:00 PM

Out-of-Towners, The (1970)

12:00 AM

Come Blow Your Horn (1963)



January 9

8:00 PM

Murder by Death (1976)

9:45 PM

Cheap Detective, The (1978)

11:30 PM

Plaza Suite (1971)

1:30 AM

California Suite (1978)



January 16

8:00 PM

Goodbye Girl, The (1977)

10:00 PM

Chapter Two (1979)

12:15 AM

Only When I Laugh (1981)



January 23

8:00 PM

Lost in Yonkers (1993)

10:00 PM

Biloxi Blues (1988)

12:00 AM

Seems Like Old Times (1980)

2:00 AM

Sunshine Boys, The (1975)



January 30

8:00 PM

Heartbreak Kid, The (1972)

10:00 PM

Prisoner of Second Avenue, The (1974)

12:00 AM

Sweet Charity (1969)

Watch where you're going

It’s amazing how oblivious we are going through life (or at least how oblivious I am going through life). Recent example:

A couple of days ago I drove over Beverly Glen. This is a local canyon that separates West Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley. I use it frequently. Anything to stay off the 405 Freeway. When I had my play at the Falcon Theatre I took Beverly Glen every day for two months. My car could negotiate the turns on its own.

I usually had the radio on so was listening to music or a ballgame. Traffic was sometimes slow but it generally moved. And it was always faster than the 405, even when I was behind a garbage truck or a meteor landed on the road.

This time over Beverly Glen I also had a letter to mail so I kept my eyes open for a mailbox. In so doing I found myself really paying attention to my surroundings.

And it was like a completely different experience. For the first time I noticed….

One guy has a boat in front of his place.

Another has a vintage 65 Mustang.

Some of the trees have turned colors and are New England-like. 

There are lot more houses for sale on the east side of the street than the west.

Hippies still exist.

Someone was throwing out a couch or maybe a person. There was a guy sitting on the couch.

There are some very cool mid-century homes.

One nimrod has planted cactus.

There are speed limits on some of the turns.  

A few have white houses with bright red or blue front doors. They must get Jehovah’s Witnesses constantly.

One homeowner still had his "Vote for Shriver" sign in the front lawn.  Do they know up there that the election is over? 

I hope that was a dog and not a wolf.  I was just relieved there wasn't a baby in its mouth.

There’s a new repaved section without lines yet. Is it okay to pass?

Homemade lemonade stands do shitty business on busy canyon roads.

There's a food market.   And it's probably been there my whole life.

The point is I observed so many more things than usual simply by paying attention. How much of the rest of the world around me am I missing by grooving along with Queen and obsessing over that joke I just can’t seem to make work? It’s one thing to stop and smell the roses; it’s another to recognize there are roses there.

I hope to build on this and be more observant in the future. There’s a lot more to see than I’m seeing. Unfortunately, I think within a few days I’ll slip right back into my old ways. But it’s worth making the effort once in awhile. That’s all I’m sayin’.

And no, I never found a mailbox.

Will Peter Pan be hot?

Has NBC promoted their upcoming live version of PETER PAN enough? You can’t leaf through ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY or go to a pop culture website without seeing articles, videos, or discussions on the new version. Kudos to the NBC publicity department.

I was just a wee lad when PETER PAN first appeared on NBC. It was the ‘50’s, Mary Martin was Peter and thanks to 76,000,000 baby boomers still being babies the airing was a national event. The next day it was what everyone talked about at recess. We didn’t have water coolers at Van Alden Elementary School.

But even as a kid I wondered, why couldn’t they get an actual boy to play Peter? Or at least a girl who didn’t look like she was 40?

Try telling a six-year-old that it’s a long-held theater tradition to have a woman play Peter Pan. It just seemed weird. The fact that the parents go out and leave the dog in charge didn’t seem to bother me.

Will young boys today have the same gender issue? And a new wrinkle we didn’t have in the ‘50s – will older boys find Peter hot? I mean, Allison Williams is not Mary Martin. And by older boys I mean, y’know, preadolescent… to 70?

(Quick sidebar question: Does Ellen DeGeneres think she’s playing Peter Pan in real life)

Like last year’s SOUND OF MUSIC, success seems to depend on the star. Carrie Underwood, despite playing Maria as a Miss Texas contestant, attracted huge numbers. Will Allison do the same? She certainly doesn’t have the name recognition that Carrie does. AMERICAN IDOL vs. co-star of GIRLS. Suddenly all the hype makes sense. But I do think Allison will pull it off and this will give her that big-name exposure for future productions.

The other curiosity factor is Christopher Walken as Captain Hook. We know he can dance. And we know he he’s not to be trusted on the deck of a ship. (He was on the boat with Robert Wagner that fateful night.) We know that he’s super strange. Will whatever bizarre interpretation he undoubtedly will give to Captain Hook add or detract from the production? Here too, I’m guessing thumbs (or hooks) up.

And there’s one other factor. The show will air LIVE. If there’s some mishap, if the dog takes a dump, Allison flies into a wall, or Walken has a brain fart and calls Peter “Natalie” you’re going to want to see it in real time. Just having it on your DVR to watch a week later won’t do it. And in this DVR, shows-on-demand age, the only real way network television can attract a live audience is to air something live. This is why they pay such big bucks for sporting events. SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL loses something by Wednesday.

PETER PAN LIVE airs Thursday night. I'll be watching... for nostalgia and curiosity.  Hopefully I can stay up for the whole thing. After all, it is a school night.

Only in L.A. Part 2

Dying underarm hair.  When bright green hair just isn't enough.

Only in LA

My place is a mess after the Thanksgiving weekend.

One of those great Hollywood stories

I was a Story Editor on MASH and was invited to speak to a sitcom writing class at UCLA along with my friend Larry, who at the time was a Story Editor on RHODA. We talked about how to break into the business – the importance of writing great spec scripts. Do’s and don’ts. 

We stressed the need for hard work, really studying the shows, setting high standards for yourself. That was the path to a script assignment for one of our shows.

A friend of mine was in the class and overheard the following:

Two coeds talking. Near the end of our discussion one turned to the other.

COED #1: So what do you think, Ken or Larry?

COED #2 (after some consideration): I’ll fuck Larry. I’d rather get a RHODA.

Postscript: Neither of us got lucky that night. And she never got a RHODA. But it was nice to know the students really were taking our career advice seriously.

One of the worst movies you'll ever see

And it was co-written by Robert Altman, no less. Thanks to blog contributor Hamid for turning me onto this 1956 gem. It stars Jerry Wallace (the singer of Primrose Lane). I defy you to last more than ten minutes. For your consideration this Oscar season -- "Corn's-A-Poppin'"

Nothing more needs to be said

Black Friday Questions

Here they are. And hey, if you’re one of those people who stood in line outside a store for three days to get $100 off on a TV I wanna hear from you.

Allan V starts us off:

I absolutely adored M*A*S*H, but what did you think about it running for 11 seasons? Was that about right, or should it have stopped sooner?

I think eleven years is too long for practically any series, even a classic one.  

Charles Emerson Losechester wonders:

How does a multi-camera show that's shot on film work? Specifically, on CHEERS. Are they making literally three different films with the multiple cameras, with massive splicing edits later on to keep the action continuous, or does it all go through some sort of main control panel where the camera changes happen on the fly?

We had four film cameras shooting continuously. Originally the editing was done on film. In later years the film was transferred to tape and all the editing was done off the tape. An editor could sync all four cameras and switch back and forth building his cut. Now everything is done digitally.

However, there is a cut of the show that is being built on the fly as the show is taping. This is for the studio audience to watch on the monitors. A special editor is hired to do this real-time edit. I’m actually amazed at how good some of these guys are.

From Powerhouse Salter:

Question about sitcom camera angles: What purpose is supposed to be served in a two-person dialogue scene when the camera is set up behind one of the actors and all we can see is the static back of his or her head? I mean, what's the point of no head movement whatsoever and not even a hint of profile to suggest that we're looking at the actual actor (or the actor's stand-in) and not at what might as well be a floor mop with a wig on it?

If I understand your question correctly, you’re referring to a close up of someone talking and the head and shoulder of the person he’s talking to. This is called an “Over.” When I shoot dual conversations I do two passes. On one I do singles and the other I do overs. “Overs” help the audience tie the two yakkers together. And they provide variety. You’re not just ping-ponging back and forth for four minutes. That gets very annoying.

VP81955 went to a recent taping of MOM and asks:

Ken, what's the longest lag time you've ever had between episode filming/taping and episode airing? Because the second-season debut of "Mom" was delayed a month, the episode that aired Thursday was its third of the season. Friday's filming was for episode 12, so it won't air until January.

Infinity. There are plenty of shows that are taped and NEVER air. There have been whole series that are in the can but never aired.

For the second season of ALMOST PERFECT, we shot ten episodes. The show as cancelled after only four had aired. The other six never made it to CBS. Fortunately, the series went into syndication twice – once on USA and once on Lifetime – so those episodes were eventually broadcast.

David and I have written episodes of JOE AND SONS, THE PRACTICE, and BRAM & ALICE that never aired.

Midseason shows are often filmed in the summer and early fall. Networks sometime delay their premiers to March, May, or even the summer.

The first six episodes of SEINFELD sat on the shelf for a year.

On the other hand, I’ve been in situations where we shoot a show one week and it airs the following week. Lots of late nights and overtime when that scenario arises.

What’s your Friday Question? And don’t over-eat this weekend.

My Thanksgiving tradition

We all have our own cherished Thanksgiving traditions. Enjoying Grandma’s famous stuffing recipe (which oddly tastes a lot like Stove Top), the game of touch football on the lawn (they still talk about the year Uncle Ed’s stitches came loose), weird cousin Marla’s holiday decorations (festive paper turkeys with hatchets), everyone bringing their favorite dish, renewing the argument over whether cousin Marla should be hospitalized, etc. My fondest tradition was watching THE HOONEYMOONERS marathon on one of the local LA channels. The last few years it’s been discontinued but thanks to DVD’s, I now own all 39 classic episodes and can gleefully watch them again for the nine millionth time.  I assume Netflix or one of them also offers the show for streaming.

Produced in 1955 for one season only, THE HONEYMOONERS remains my favorite all-time sitcom. I don’t think there’s ever been a more inspired cast than Jackie Gleason, Art Carney, and Audrey Meadows. And Joyce Randolph was okay too.

I wonder what people in their 20’s would think of the show. Would it seem too retro? Would the black-and-white cause a disconnect? Would the comedy still hold up? I’d like to think it would. I’d like to think any generation would marvel at Art Carney demonstrating a golf swing, or Jackie Gleason learning to mambo.  Happily, my USC class seemed amused. 

If you’ve never seen THE HONEYMOONERS, or haven’t in a long time, I invite you to get the DVD collection or go on Netflix or Hulu and have your own Thanksgiving marathon. But JUST the classic 39 episodes. The collected sketches from Gleason’s variety show or the “lost episodes” don’t hold up. But those 39, for my money, are sitcom perfection. I’d be interested to hear what you think.

Some of my favorite episodes are:

The Golfer
Better Living Through TV (the one I show to my USC class)
Oh, my Aching Back
The $99,000 Answer
Young at Heart
Unconventional Behavior
Hello, Mom

I bet as you read this I’m watching one of them right now.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

Bill Cosby -- mentor?

Not to just pile on, but this is an article I wrote about Bill Cosby for this blog a couple of years ago that was picked up by Gawker recently, resulting in a lot of traffic.  So I thought I would share it again for my regular readers. 

I’ve always been a big fan of Bill Cosby. Loved his comedy albums as a kid, took my wife to Las Vegas to see his stand-up act (more like a sit-down act. He just sat in a chair, smoked a cigar, and held a giant audience in the palm of his hand), and admired THE COSBY SHOW (at least when it started). He was a true original and his comedy came out of reality. You laughed because you related.  He was also a damn good spokesman for Jello. So I respect his work. We’re clear on that, right?

Recently, WRITTEN BY, the WGA’s monthly magazine did an article where they referred to Bill Cosby as a writer’s mentor. I think they were being a little overly generous. I wouldn’t call him a mentor.

I’d call him an egotist who worked his writers as if they were pack mules.

I know. You say potato and I say potato.

There’s no question that there was much to be learned from Bill Cosby, and those writers who survived did take lessons that helped them in their future work. But what a cost.

The article explains how the process worked on THE COSBY SHOW. The staff worked out a very rough story area on Wednesday, then wrote an entire script over the weekend. Cosby would shit on it at the table reading on Monday. If there were lines he didn’t like he would read them in funny voices. Rather rude to the writers who killed themselves all weekend to service you. Then would come the hours of notes, Cosby would tear the whole script apart.  Often, with his big cigar, he would literally blow smoke into the writers' faces.  And then the staff went back to now write a completely new script and cough. Those rewrites, even in the article, were termed grueling.

And this went on week after week. Hundred hour weeks were common. Month after month. At least he didn't smoke $2 Tiparillos.

Oh, and did I mention, at the end, Cosby ad libbed stuff?  I’m sure it was funny but why put everybody through that just to ultimately do it yourself?

Talented showrunners would understandably bolt after a season or even a few weeks of this. One writer was so fried after she quit that she spent six months working at the Coney Island Aquarium.

Are there shows with long hours? Absolutely. Is it difficult to write for a comedian who has a very strong voice? You betcha. But you know that going in.

However, to have a star just arbitrarily toss out draft after draft and force his staff to write around the clock for seven months is unfair and highly disrespectful.

I don’t know why the staff bothered to do anything for the table draft. Why work hard crafting jokes and scenes and moments when everything's just going to be dismissed? Just write down the first thing that comes to your mind and head for the train. The fact that the staff didn’t do that (and never did that) says something about how admirable and professional they were.

Fact: Writers burn out. Fact: Writers do not do their best work at 4:00 AM after being in the room for fifteen hours. How would an actor like it if he were asked to strenuously rehearse every day from 7:00 AM until 11:00 PM and then an audience would be brought in and he'd be asked to perform NOISES OFF for two hours?

The fact that Cosby established this grueling schedule and maintained it shows, to me, a lack of consideration and compassion. Yes, the show was a smash hit, and he was the 800 pound gorilla, but I will never be convinced it would have been any worse had the writers not spent 70% of their time writing material that everyone knew was gong to get thrown out. I could however, make an argument that the shows would have been even better had the staff not been walking zombies.  And if some of the better writers had not quit.

But that’s the way they did it. A number of people made fortunes of money (including sweater manufacturers). And the show is a classic.

Call Cosby brilliant, call him the man who saved sitcoms, call him a game-changer, a visionary, a titan in the world of comedy. But mentor? I was fortunate that I had mentors who didn’t send me screaming to an aquarium.

A riot photo that is a riot

I teach a class Monday nights at USC, which is in downtown Los Angeles.  As a result of the Ferguson protests the campus was under lockdown.  No one was allowed to enter or leave.  Scary times with helicopters hovering overhead and lots of sirens and flashing blue lights.  But that doesn't mean you can't get hungry.   Here are students getting a pizza delivered during lockdown.  I had to take this photo.  I bet you won't see anything similar in the paper. 

The Macy's Parade

I have no desire to go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I’ve been in New York several times during Thanksgiving and just my luck, every year it’s been cold. Maybe if they held it indoors one year… Perhaps down in the subway? Nah, it might be tough wedging Sponge Bob through a tunnel.

Brutal weather conditions aside, the parade is spectacular and organizers do an amazing job. It’s quite a spectacle and well worth seeing if you’re not a princess like me. But hey, I don’t go to football games in the winter either. Do fans realize these games are on television?  Or are they just looking for an excuse to use those flasks? 

In Manhattan in January I’ve been known to hail a cab to take me across the street.

I only attended the parade once. And that was because James L. Brooks had a condo along the parade route and had a bunch of people over for a viewing party. So I watched from the window while sipping my hot chocolate. Jim, and a few others were calling down to the passing celebrities. It helped that he actually knew these people.

More fun than going to the parade is watching them blow up the balloons the night before. I do recommend that. They do it near the Natural History Museum. Wear a sweater.

To me the Macy’s Parade is a TV event anyway, even when I’m in Manhattan. It signals the official beginning of the holiday season and gives us a chance to see all the “stars” of the midseason NBC shows that will be cancelled by every St. Paddy’s Day Parade. Al Roker will be interviewing these recycled sitcom actors and fawning all over them. Such excitement lay ahead when these new NBC shows premier. Remember GROWING UP FISHER? 1600 PENN? SMASH?

THE TODAY SHOW anchors always host. Matt Lauer pretends he’s really enjoying himself, but he has the same look as when they make him do the red carpet show for the Golden Globes. It must be the one day of the year Ann Curry is sitting by a cozy fire saying, "Ha ha bitches!" 

The advantage of viewing the parade on TV is you get to see the Broadway production numbers. My heart always goes out to those poor frozen kids in skimpy show outfits dancing and singing in 20 degree temperatures, sometimes being rained or snowed upon. Equity is such a strong union. Why isn’t there a rule that Broadway dancers are not allowed to perform if they can see their own breath? How many Rockettes blow out hamstrings?

And then the parade starts and I’m always wondering why certain celebrities got stuck on certain floats. “There’s Allison Janney on the foot care float.” Singers stop and lip sync the first chorus of their songs before they’re cut off by six Black Friday commercials. Balloons are the big attraction and Matt must act like he’s seeing the Snoopy balloon for the first time, even though he’s seen it thirty.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t enjoy a parade unless I’m also provided commentary. Instead of listening to a marching band I want to hear how many pancake breakfasts they held in order to finance this trip. I need to know how much helium is in Bullwinkle. And why is Allison Janney on that float shaped like a giant foot?

And then afterward, that big decision, that tough decision – football or the dog show?

Hope you have a great holiday season. And if you’re going to the parade, try to get a selfie with Kermit. Thanks. And again, wear a sweater.