Wednesday, September 02, 2009

What's more exciting than photos from someone's trip?

So I've been posting these travelogues on my blog for a couple of years now. Probably thirty of them so far. Vegas, London, Dallas, New Yawk -- all over. My Denver post (not to be confused with their newspaper of the same name) got picked up by some Denver website that is incensed. According to them I "hate" Denver. Wow. First off, I don't, and secondly, it's a humor piece folks!

Anyway, at the risk of really pissing off the Mile Highers even more, here are some recent photos from my trip. First -- some fans of this blog from Cincinnati to show that not everyone hates me. Yes, it's just four but there were two others who were called away at the last moment. Okay, now to (gulp) Denver.

I got taken to task for mentioning thunderstorms. Irate commenters declared that LA has fires and earthquakes, etc. (which of course was all news to me). So this was a once in a million occurrence? We lost. As you can see, I'm very concerned. How the hell am I going to get one of our players to be on the postgame show?? This was moments before I was stuffed in a bat bag. Losing pitchers who can't throw strikes are even more over-sensitive than Denverians. Here's the fabulous Denver Greyhound Bus Station and the flop house that resides next door -- the Ritz-Carlton.

I shouldn't include this next one because it makes it seem I actually "like" Denver. This is from Coors field when it is sunny and glorious.
Now to Cincinnati, where I fared better even though I blasted their sacred chili.

This is either the Reds' mascot or Ted Williams' actual head.
In the Reds clubhouse there is a room called the chapel, which I guess is just a fancy name for golf clubs storage closet. I now expect many religious groups to rip me a new one.
The Quacky races, ladies and gentlemen. Teams raced through an obstacle course with rubber ducks. Oh God, am I going to hear from mallard societies?
Your Quacky teams.

And finally, cornholing... among consenting adults.

Tomorrow I discuss the FRASIER living room set. Architecture-defamation groups get ready.


Simon H. said...

Ben-Thank you for your positive and gracious feedback. In the future, we'll try to be hipper so we can meet your apparently high standards for existing. You might want to remember when posting in the future that those blog readers also read the comments section. :-)

Simon H. said...

On a nicer note, thank you once again for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet us Ken. It's certainly something you didn't have to do, but we appreciated it very much, and it definitely was the highlight of our trip to Cincinnati.

Not from Denver said...

Hey Ken, you must remember that you carry some baggage. TV sitcoms tend to make fun of everybody not from LA or New York. Given your resume, I am sure you are responsible for more than a few stereotyping jokes.

Speaking of which, I always find these jokes overly predictable. From Roz on Fraser to Penny on The Big Bang Theory, I cringe every time the writers resort to a cheap laugh. When will they realize this isn't the 1930's and most of the US population isn't rural.

Mork said...

What did I say? I didn't think I said anything bad. Hell, I've never even been to Denver.

Or is this some other Ben sullying my good(?) name?

HitchHacking said...

First time commenter, MASH is my favorite TV show of all time (no seriously).

Anyway, since you're traveling and talking to all sorts of folks, I wanted to throw out a simple icebreaker for when the conversation lulls... ask about the local high school football team, do they have a tradition? Arch enemy cross town rival? What's the mascot?

Most locals are glad to answer questions on that, which can help fix akward silences.

If I knew how to embed a link from the phone without accidentally erasing what I just wrote, I'd link a pic from my current trip. But I don't.

Tim W. said...

Ken, don't feel bad. When the X-FIles was filming here in Vancouver, David Duchovny appeared on David Letterman and made the mistake of complaining about the rain. He was crucified back here about it. Now I watched the interview and he basically mentioned it rains a lot in the context of a joke. I laughed and then forgot all about it. Until I opened the paper the next day.

What I still don't get to this day is the fact that EVERYONE complains about the rain in Vancouver. I've lived here 15 years and people do it every year. It rains a lot in the winter (summer, not much at all, by the way). I like it better than the snow, so it doesn't really bother me much. In fact, Duchovny didn't even really complain, as much as mentioned that it rains a lot. IT DOES RAIN A LOT. Was he lying when he said it? No, but it didn't matter to a seemingly great many small minded people who took it as a personal affront that this Hollywood-type would insult their city like that.

It was an embarrassing time to be from Vancouver, let me tell you.

Anonymous said...

Next time take Kobe Bryant with you to Denver so that you're guaranteed to not be the most hated man in the city.

I've only been to Denver once but the only lasting impression I have is that it's very flat. Boulder (my real destination) was a great city-- although I was dissappointed to learn Mork no longer lived there.

Joe Taylor Jr. said...

They play Corn Hole in Cincinnati?

thomas tucker said...

They play Corn Hole everywhere.
But apparently they do it publicly in Cincinnati.

Joe said...

Only 9 other comments? Haters.

Unknown said...

Ah, cornhole! Talk about an unfortunately-named but incredibly fun way to pass a Sunday afternoon. Tic-Tac-Toss can hold but a pale candle to it.

Trivia: Did you know that both of the famed brothers Lachey play?

Brian said...

There's was something in your comments about Dallas (I'm from there and don't ask me if I'm a steer or a queer) I didn't like (but shook it off as you just being funny), so I felt sweet revenge when you took down Cincinnati Chili.

AlaskaRay said...

Ken Levine said:
"My Denver post (not to be confused with their newspaper of the same name) got picked up by some Denver website that is incensed. According to them I "hate" Denver."

That's the Ken we all know and love. Just making friends and influencing people wherever you go.


Will said...


Totally off topic, but I thought you might be interested in this piece on baseball's chattiest announcers.

Ref said...

Frasier's living room? It's e-CLEC-tic!

D. McEwan said...

"Not from Denver said...
Hey Ken, you must remember that you carry some baggage. TV sitcoms tend to make fun of everybody not from LA or New York."

Well first off, most people in LA, and much of the people in NYC, are not FROM LA or NYC, but have fled to there from the rest of the country.

Secondly, speaking as someone who is ACTUALLY a Los Angeles native, we put up with ENDLESS jibes, jokes, and often-mean-spirited insults from the folks stuck elsewhere. We understand that this comes from jealousy, and shrug it off. If I were marooned in Flyoverland, I'd be bitter too.

But God forbid someone from LA (and Ken is another actual LA native) should get a few laughs about another city.

It's a comedy writer's blog. Why aren't you expecting jokes?

I've only visited Denver once, and that for less than a day. The sole event of note I experienced there was getting stung by a bee, yet I do not hold it against the city. LA used to have smog, it's true, though not as bad as Denver's, and much rarer these days. (LA smog jokes are so half-a-century ago) But at least we're not desperate to find any traces of oxygen in the thin upper stratosphere, and we don't have to duck when the moon passes overhead.

Rose Vanden Eynden said...

Ah, rats! I missed the photo op at the stadium! Oh well...

You got some good shots of cornhole and the duck gathering, too, Ken. Ah, Cincinnati--we're unusual! :-)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

haha, I remembering seeing that shot on TV and thinking, "HEY! that's Ken!" you couldn't look LESS thrilled if you tried.