Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Some random blogservations...

Thanks again to everyone for the nice wishes on the TIME magazine honor. I was hoping to get recognized. Now I don’t have to tweet those photos of myself.

How perfect that the shutterbug congressman’s name is “Weiner”. And how further perfect that the person who officiated his wedding was Bill Clinton.

If they use that storyline next year on THE GOOD WIFE, Chris Noth could once again play “Mr. Big”.

3D movies are starting to flop. Audiences are finding those glasses annoying. It's hard to text with them on.

Maybe if the congressman had tweeted in 3D….

How come on HAWAII 5-0 Scott Caan never does anything anymore while that lox Alex O’Loughlin does everything? That’s like developing MORK & MINDY around Mindy.

Weiner apparently had a relationship with porn star Ginger Lee. Once this was discovered he coached her on what to say. Here was his suggestion: “This is silly. Like so many others, I follow Rep. Weiner on Twitter.” Oh yeah, all porn stars follow U.S. congressmen on Twitter.

Am I the only one tired of Lady Gaga? We get it. You’re outrageous. You’re a great self-promoter. You look better in a mask.

After a five-year hiatus, the CBS EVENING NEWS has returned to the airwaves.

Headline in yesterday’s HuffPost: How Ringo Starr Was Almost Killed by Nazis.

And another, even better HuffPost headline: Did Ronald Reagan Think 'E.T' Was A True Story?!

Note to waiters and waitresses: Not everything is awesome.

Some favorite team names: Lehigh Valley IronPigs, Long Beach State DirtBags, Great Lakes Loons, Richmond Flying Squirrels, and Modesto Nuts.

TRUE BLOOD is back this summer. I bet the ratings would be higher if they went with my daughter, Annie’s title for the show. VAMPIRE PORN.

Think of how much better Terrence Malick’s THE TREE OF LIFE would have been if he hadn’t’ve rushed it.

Happy birthday to my brother, Corey.

The NBA FINALS have been great this year.  Now tied 2-2.  Dirk Nowitzki even looks like Bill Walton.  

My summer guilty pleasures: “The Best of the Beach Boys”, frozen bananas, COVERT AFFAIRS.

Milton Bradley’s name is on the All-Star ballot. He’s been released by Seattle, no other team in baseball will touch him. He was so hated by fans that he wore earplugs to drown out the booing – in his own home stadium. So give him real serious consideration.

Everyone says the new X-MEN: FIRST CLASS movie is just that… except for January Jones. But I hear she’s in lingerie for most of the film, so who cares? You already know she can’t act.

Cheryl Cole has been axed off of THE X-FACTOR (U.S. version). This would be a bigger story if anyone in America knew who the hell she was. Apparently her accent is so thick that you can’t understand a word she says. And overly-critical Fox thought that was an issue.

Laurence Fishburne is leaving CSI.   After two years of basically posing, he moves on to resume trying to have Samuel L. Jackson's career.   Hey, Cheryl Cole!  There's an opening!

Every time I see a Beverly Hills restaurant go out of business that charged $7 for valet parking I cheer.

There will be an AMERICAN PIE 4. (So many unanswered questions from the first three). The entire original cast has been signed. The hard part was coordinating schedules with rehabs.

Maybe if the congressman had tweeted it in a pie…

Two people returned my book to Kindle last month. How bad could it be that they demanded their $2.99 back? Thanks to all of you who bought it and absorbed the loss. You can order yours here – at no risk to you.


MARCIA said...

You've always made me laugh. Thank you Mr Levine.
Marcia G.

Ghost of Dick Lane said...

Whoa, Nellie. Laurence Fishburne is a terrific actor and his stage/filmed performance as Thurgood Marshall from this season is no SKJ aspirational knock-off.

BDodd said...

I bet those book returns were from Roseanne. She wanted the opportunity to fire you not once, but twice.

Belated congrats on your Time recognition!

John D'Oh said...

"Covert Affairs"? Seriously??

Mike Barer said...

As far as your recognition, it was about TIME.

PatGLex said...

Team names: I'll have to put in a word for the Minnesota Golden Gophers. (A friend of mine has a hat with gopher ears. :-) )

I've also been a fan of the Lansing minor league baseball team name: the Lugnuts.

Weirdest one I've heard of: the Savannah Sand Gnats.

Mary Stella said...

Any man sending pictures of himself nude expands the meaning of junk mail.

Call it True Blood, call it Vampire Porn, it's one of my favorite shows.

Ken, objectively speaking as a woman who watches Hawaii 5-0, Scott Caan and his character is the brotherly guy we want to hug. Alex O'Loughlin is the HGILF.

Have you watched The Voice? My new favorite music competition show.

Tony said...

After the Atlanta Braves pulled their AAA franchise out of Richmond and the AA Connecticut Defenders were recruited to fill the hole, the team's owners and the local newspaper held a naming contest that landed on the Flying Squirrels. Here are the names put up for vote:

* Richmond Rock Hoppers
* Richmond Rhinos
* Richmond Flatheads
* Richmond Flying Squirrels
* Richmond Hambones

That last one was thrown out because it turned out to be an epithet. I admit I didn't really like any of them, but the Flying Squirrels name has grown on me. And despite finishing in last place in its first year last year, the team topped the division in average and total attendance.

Meanwhile, down in Georgia, the Gwinnett County Braves are scraping the bottom of the barrel in attendance.

404 said...


Corey said...


Larry 3rd-degree Fishburn said...

I was going to return 'your' book to Nordstrom's; I hear that they'll take anything back. Roseanne bought 2 copies of your book just in case it was good enough that she'd want to read it again.

Mariners have re-established their 8-year run of no offense. I'm not at all surprised but I think Matt P. may have an aneurysm. But the savior is on the way. Carp is coming. Now we can be the sister team of the Toyo Carp...a team that once opened their season by
scoring 2 runs in 9 games. Sounds familiar.

HCarvalho said...

Hey Ken what's your take on Game of Thrones?

Retro Blog said...

Uh, I didn't even know you COULD return to book on the kindle, I love my kindle, congrats though.
CBC has returned to the airwaves?
Whattcha got against Katie? Kid has a nice smile. I find it disturbing the the advertisements that one sees on CBC are no longer about Cars, etc, now all Baby boomer medical products. THey have better commercials on DISH TV.

Sally creeping down the alley said...

"After a five-year hiatus, the CBS EVENING NEWS has returned to the airwaves."

One wonders if you'd say that if instead of Scott Pelley another woman had replaced Katie Couric. Maybe Roseanne was right about you, maybe you really don't like women.

Breadbaker said...

So if your brother Corey the missing third with Feldman and Haim?

Markus said...

The biggest issue I have with Weiner is that he gives Americans, in their infinite wisdom, yet another incentive to mix up Wiener and Weiner. It's not like there hadn't been recurrent problems with identifying the use of "ie" versus "ei" before. Briefly weird heir fiercly retrieving Weiner's wiener view.

And hell no, you so aren't the only one who's tired of Lady Gaga.

Wonderin' said...

If Weiner were Muslim instead of his wife, would his transgressions be as beheading offense?

Mac said...

Cheryl Cole's accent is pretty hard to understand in the UK. Like you say, it's hardly an issue; it's not like she's giving updates on the Large Hadron Collider.

tb said...

So now I can buy a "used" copy of Kens book on Kindle at a discount?

Anonymous said...

Hey Ken, I got your book for my Kindle and thought it was great. Also hope to hear you on more M's broadcasts.

Mike Doran said...

This must be said:

I've seen some Mork & Mindy reruns recently, and the only thing that keeps Robin Williams from being totally insufferable is that Pam Dawber is there to make him at least somewhat likable.

Dawber hasn't worked much since marrying Mark Harmon, apparently by her own choice.
Williams has yet to find someone who could ground him as well as Dawber could, and his work has suffered accordingly.

brian said...

"3D movies are starting to flop. Audiences are finding those glasses annoying. It's hard to text with them on."

From the Alamo Drafthouse theater in Austin, TX: She texted. We kicked her out. Some part nsfw.

Pamela Atherton said...

Ref Sally Alley comment... I don't think it's a comment on women as much as a comment on newscasters. That's like saying if you don't think Sarah Palin is a good choice for president, then you must not like women.

It's a newscasting issue. And now, it's going to become a talk show hosting issue. I don't find her relatable. And I'm a woman.

jbryant said...

"Dawber hasn't worked much since marrying Mark Harmon, apparently by her own choice."

Gee, I hope no one forced her to marry him! :)

Jason Crane said...

Ken, I bought your book for my Kindle. Added to the commenter above, you're even now.

Also, no guilt needed where the Beach Boys are concerned. They're the bomb.

PatGLex: I used to go to Sand Gnats games all the time when I lived there. Made fun of Travis Hafner, who couldn't hit anything. Now look at him.

All the best,


Tim W. said...

I had no idea about the Time honour until you mentioned it. Congrats. You are always on my short list of daily readings.

You know, the most interesting part of the whole Weinergate thing is watching Jon Stewart try and walk the line between what he knows he should do, and trying not to criticize his friend, too much.

Chris said...

Pelosi hates Weiner! Go figure. Personally, she always looked like she enjoyed the Weiner!!!

D. McEwan said...

You can "return" Kindle books? What about that mysterious stain on page 18? Well, I'm not returning mycopy of the real book, though I did order it with a sufficent number of additional purchases that the shipping was free. I'
m not throwing away another $2.98 on shipping!

@BDodd, your joke presupposes that Roseanne would BUY a copy or two in the first place. She's a STAR! If it ain't sent to her free, f*#k it! It's not like it's Salmon Pizza for Christ's sake. ("For Jehovah's sake" for all you Jewish white female-hating writers!) (But seriously BDodd, you made me laugh.)

@MAry Stella. I'd "F" Scott Caan long before that stick of flesh-covered wood McLoughlin.

Also, as every outfit I've ever bought gay porn from sends me pictures from new releases, I've been getting "Junk Mail" in my junk mail for years. And my mailman wonders why I smile if there's a lot of junk in my mail.

@"Sally creeping down the alley" So will Ken be getting a Roseanne-friendly you-hate-woman "joke" from you every time he makes a joke about a woman until the end of time? Here's a rule of thumb to apply to yourself and future postings: if you're about to make a Roseanne-was-right, Ken-hates-women "joke", that means you are actually too stupid to post here, but Roseanne will welcome you, until she decides at random to hate you.

Someone had to "defend" Pam Dawber from a joke. Yes, we were all wishing they'd have gotten rid of Robin Williams, and instead shot The Mindy Chronicles. Thank you, Mark Harmon, for keeping Pam off of TV. Though, in fact, I hadn't noticed Pam Dawber had disappeared from acting, as the hard part was noticing when she WAS acting.

This just in: Paul Revere hates strong women, which is why he told a strong woman that he rode around ringingbells and warning the British that they'd never take away Bostonian's guns, and then arranged for that "Gotcha" question of "What have you seen so far today, and what are you going to take away from your visit?" Strong-Woman-Hating BASTARD!

Mike Barer said...

Ken, now that your home from Seattle, the Sun stopped shining and the Mariners stopped winning. Get back here!

Cap'n Bob said...

Loved the slam at Katie. I think she was a glowing example of the Peter Priciple (and there is no weiner joke intended).

It's not only waitresses. I bought a bag of dog food at the pet store yesterday and when I set it on the counter the clerk gave me an "Awesome!"

I returned a Kindle purchase (unread). There is a place to do it on the Amazon Kindle site. I suspect the two that returned Ken's book read it first, and are just cheap bastards. I knew a woman who used to return clothes after wearing them once. She justified it by saying everyone does it, although she was the only one I ever knew who did. It's called dishonesty.

Unknown said...

There's a huge ad on the cineplex near or main train station in my town here in Germany with January Jones on it and I've been waiting since they put it up for you to comment on her in that movie.

You Sir, always deliver!

Now say something funny.

Rob said...

American Pie 4 with the original cast - reminds me of Peter Scolari's Newhart line - "When they went to revive What's Happening the original cast were all available"

SharoneRosen said...

oh awesome, how I miss using you when I am actually awe struck! If only the wait staff would listen to you.

My summer guilty pleasures are Eureka and Warehouse 13. SciFi with a comic edge.... and no "gooey gore-y" stuff

Matt Patton said...

I remember a time when even Today seemed more like a real news show. And that was when Barbara Walters was the co-host. Also, there are now lots of female anchors and reporters on news all over the country and the world who come across as brisk and professional.

Somehow, Katie Couric never really did. Neither, it should be be said, did her co-host, Matt Lauer. They seemed like a pair of P. M. Magazine hosts who got something on the bosses at NBC and got kicked (sort of) upstairs. (for those who don't remember, P. M. Magazine was a syndicated show where local hosts linked pre-filmed segments--the hosts had a high quotient of fluffiness--Lauer's always seemed higher than Couric's--and she did a nice take-down of Sarah Palin).

VP81955 said...

American Pie 4 with the original cast - reminds me of Peter Scolari's Newhart line - "When they went to revive What's Happening the original cast were all available"

Good actor who deserves more work. I've been catching reruns of the "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" TV series on the Hub (a new family-oriented channel, which I believe is from the Disney folks), and he really did a fine job as Wayne Szalinski. That series was clever, well-written with some nice in-jokes (the family lived in Matheson, Colo., an obvious homage to the great Richard Matheson), but since it was an hour long and didn't have a laugh track, I think many people didn't know what to do with it.

Max Clarke said...

Congratulations on the Time mention. No surprise to your loyal readers, but it's good to see the establishment pointy-heads woke up.

Anonymous said...

And by Kindle you mean Amazon. I want to buy it on my Kindle but it's not available.

Brian Phillips said...

"Weiner apparently had a relationship with porn star Ginger Lee. "

This is easily explained.

WEINER: (to Political Consultant) I'd like to run for the Senate.
POLITICAL CONSULTANT: I think that's great, but you need to approach this gingerly...
WEINER: I'm on it!

Buttermilk Sky said...

Not only can you return a book to Kindle, they can take it back once you've bought it, without consulting you. (They issue a refund.) This happened some years ago due to a dispute with the copyright holder. Creepily, the book that vanished was "1984".

If the congressman's name was Anthony Schwartz, do you think this would have come up? I mean, arisen? Oh, never mind.

Paul Du ca said...

Ken, will you have any thoughts on the passing of Leonard B. Stern, whose credits include THE HONEYMOONERS, GET SMART! and McMILLAN & WIFE, as well as creatpr of Mad Libs. and author of A MARTIAN WOULDN'T SAY THAT! MEMOS TV EXECS WISH THEY HADN'T WRITTEN, which includes this one...

TO: Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds

FROM:: V.P., Current Programming


Please clear your calendar for lunch on Friday. I need to explain how you guys keep screwing up M*A*S*H

Michael Zand said...

COVERT AFFAIRS? Really, Ken. You must love Piper Perabo's perpetual pout. (how's that for alliteration.) But seriously, I gave up on the show last season because it was just too stupid. The cast is great but the writing? Oy. Thought I'd give it a try again, watched the season premier where Piper and her lover boy, whose been shot are in a naval hospital in Guam. Suddenly, the entire hospital staff disappears and three machine gun toting terrorists chase Piper and her boyfriend out of the hospital. What happened to the entire military hospital staff? Were they in cahoots with the terrorists? Is it that easy to get onto a US Naval base, dressed in basic terrorist black, toting submachine guns? Oh, and the final nail that make remove this from my DVR... She's a trained agent. She manages to incapacitate one bad guy, disarm the other one and knock him down. But instead of grabbing the guy's weapon and blowing him away, she grabs the wounded boyfriend to hobble out of the hospital while the terrorist regains his weapon and chases them down. He's about to shoot them just outside the entrance when the lone guard at the front of the hospital shoots the bad guy just in time. I'm sorry if my heroine is too stupid to breath, I can't hang.

Laurie said...

Re: Ringo and the Nazi's, was your Jewish community back in 1964 one of the ones (like mine) seriously speculating that Starr was really short for Starstein?

gottacook said...

Laurie - I can tell you that "Starr" is already by itself a Jewish surname, at least on the east coast.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your Time recognition!!

But I thought I was the only one who thought Lady Gaga looked better in a mask!?

Matt Patton said...

Ringo's real last name was Starkey (his full real name was Richard Starkey). I don't know if that's Jewish or not. I know I thought that he and Paul McCartney were the only Beatles who looked comfortable on camera (Richard Lester obviously thought so, too--Ringo dominates the last act of A Hard Day's Night and he was at the center of the plot for Help!

Anonymous said...

Ringo sorta looks Jewish, but, of course, he's not. Ringo is such a great, great human being - so kind and loving...who doesn't love Ringo? And he's always okay with talking about...The Beatles...he loves to tell stories about "the band." It's Paulie that doesn't like talking about..."them." But Paul always was and always will be a Beatle. In the end, he was the only one who wanted to keep it going, the only one still enthusiastic about going forward. Even though Ringo quit the band for two weeks, he came back, playing his drum-kit even stronger. He, too, wanted to keep the band going into the '70s. Ringo was always an underrated drummer, but listen to his great style that truly was his on Strawberry Fields, Rain, I Am The Walrus, Tommorrow Never Knows and of course, the ending drum solo - his first and only on any Beatles' album - on the jam at the end of Abbey Road. May he live on forever, rock on Ringo, and don't let the Nazi bastards get you down. Well, with your affable, smiling personality, no one can bring you down.

Chet said...

Thank you! May wife saids I'm full of crap when I said this, "Dirk Nowitzki even looks like Bill Walton."

D. McEwan said...

I second Anonymous's Ringo Love!