Sunday, January 13, 2013

Getting ready for the Golden Globes

Tonight is the whatever-annual Golden Globe Awards on NBC. I will be reviewing them along with my daughter, Annie and her writing partner, Jon.  The review will appear tomorrow morning.  To get you in the mood, here are a few highlights from past Golden Globe reviews. In compiling these I realized there were a lot of years I didn’t bother. The reasons being: I don’t give a shit, they were canceled, I was on the radio the night they aired, I forgot, I wasn’t nominated, Debra Messing was, I don’t get NBC on my cable provider, and CSPAN-2 aired a senate sub-committee fact-finding hearing on sorghum subsidies in the plain states.

But when I did bite the bullet, these were some of my observations:

Sir Laurence Olivier at one time won a Golden Globe which literally broke in his hand during his acceptance speech.

The big incentive for stars to attend the Golden Globes is that they do provide dinner. And they can thank the busboys for voting for them.

There's no need to thank them from the stage. What they really want is tips.

Paula Patton looked like the world’s yummiest yellow Peep.

The ceremony itself was held in the glittering Beverly Hilton Hotel Ballroom, site of the Temple Emmanuel Purim Ball.

Where else can you see Clint Eastwood and the Queer Eye guys considered peers?

More on the ceremony in a moment, but first a look back at NBC’s Red Carpet Arrival Show. First, it started without sound. Then it was hosted by the least talented person on the planet – Carson Daly. When interviewing Leo DiCaprio he had to look down at his card before asking the following question: “So how are you doin’?” Why is this lox on TV?

When Francis Conroy is not the most obscure actor to win an award you know you're in trouble.

Justin Bieber was the only presenter who was shorter than the statue.

Do seat fillers get to eat the meals of the people their substituting for?

Dustin Hoffman is starting to look like Bob Uecker.

Shows on host network NBC won exactly no Golden Globes.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY did so well I say it's time for a sequel.

The big highlight for me was HOMELAND’S Morena Baccarin. I’ve never seen a gown that was both backless and frontless. She has now starred in the TV series and dress named V.

Debra Messing came as Tin Tin.

Tilda Swinton came as David Bowie.

With big stars like Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman in the audience, why were they cutting to Piper Perabo for reaction shots?

Nice tribute to Morgan Freeman. He’s made 50 movies. In half of them Ashley Judd gets kidnapped.

70 year-old Jane Fonda looked spectacular. I love the new hip, Janie!

The ceremony took place one mile from my house. Albert Brooks should have known he wouldn’t win when his table was on our front lawn.

See you tomorrow with this year’s report. If the three of us don’t fall asleep.


Johnny Walker said...

Looks like you got your wish with regards to LORD OF THE RINGS.

Cap'n Bob said...

I always thought The Golden Globes was Raquel Welch's nickname.

Anonymous said...

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE LEVINE LOOK AT THE GGs... But Jane Fonda has a new knee, not hip. She blogged all about it on her website a few years ago. But I think a new hip is more sexy than a knee no matter where it is implanted. (BTW, it was the same doc who gave Liz Taylor her hip and Angela Lansbury her knee: Dr. John Moreland of Santa Monica, surgeon to the stars)

Barry Traylor said...

I tend not to watch award shows, but at least you will have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to enjoy.

Nancy Plum said...

You forgot to mention - the camera did cut to Brad & Angelina and there she was putting lipgloss on and he was looking bored! When they show the table I Lilly to see whose champagne glass is empty!

Tv Food and Drink said...

Yep. Golden Globes is ripe for the picking. I look forward to the review tomorrow! Gary

Eduardo Jencarelli said...

What's that camera that focuses on people's handnails and feet?

By far the most pointless addition, I've seen on a Red Carpet shows.

Paul Duca said...

Oh mother got HER new hip in Holland (but installed to American standards).

Storm said...

"Tilda Swinton came as David Bowie..."

Well, no need to do my usual daily sinus irrigation regimen, because you just made me shoot water out my nose. Nice.

Actually, I dream of the day when the two of them play aliens together in a film directed by his son, Duncan Jones. It's OK, Duncan, you've made quite a name for yourself as a talented director without relying on/using Dad to get movies-- now make a movie with him! If he won't tour anymore (looking forward to his new album; maybe he'll mini-tour?), then he needs to do more acting, dammit.

(Yeah, OK, it's a fair cop; I'm obsessed with the man.)

Cheers, thanks a lot,