Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Oh no! It's the end of award season

Now what do we do?

Award season is over.

What will we in Hollywood have to talk about? Our families?  Literature?  The upcoming presidential election? Yeah, that outcome is kind of important but it’s not like who will win for Best Costumes? The state of the world? Hey, that’s what Best Documentaries are for.

Focusing on Donald Trump is a pale substitute for Harvey Weinstein.

Award season gives meaning to our lives. From early September until the end of February we have structure, and more importantly, purpose.

Now what?

What are we going to argue about at Starbucks? What are we going to boycott? What will we do on Saturday nights when we have to actually pay to see a movie?   Oh, the humanity!

Who do we hate?  Isis is bad but they never got a job you wanted.  

I just feel so… so… untethered.

There’s nothing to handicap. Oh, I long for those idyllic six-hour power lunches where we tried to determine what a win from the Shreveport Film Critics really portends.

What is there to root for if Lady Gaga is not nominated for something?

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY Radio might as well sign-off until Comic-Con.

The winter months can be cold and brutal (especially in Southern California). At least we can get some comfort watching privileged celebrities dress nice and honor each other.  But now?  Jesus!

If you think taking down Christmas lights is depressing, just try rolling up red carpets. Is there anything in the world sadder than a 20 foot Oscar statue just propped up in a warehouse? Ignored?!

Oh, sure, the Tony Awards are in June. But that’s New York, and besides, HAMILTON is going to win everything including Best Revival. No real suspense there. And there are the Emmys. But that’s television.

And it’s not just the awards themselves. I don’t want to appear shallow. It’s also the presenters and hosts. How bad will Will Ferrell be this year? Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, there’s always Ricky Gervais ruining the Golden Globes.  We're left adrift. 

And the snubs! The after-parties! For Godsakes we now have to go nine whole months without Swag bags!

And the worst part is, we have to face this crisis alone. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but in life there are no seat fillers.

Oh wait.  There is hope!

I just learned of the Location Managers Guild International awards to be held April 23rd.   Oh, what a relief. There IS a God!   So who do you think is going to win?


The Bumble Bee Pendant said...

Obviously the person that found the location for the Revenant is a lock.
The instructions to the Location Manager, "Cold. And near a River".

Also the Location Manager for the Force Awakens:
"Find Lots of Sand...and find some empty Space. But not in THIS galaxy"

Peter said...

I actually thought you were kidding but I googled and I see you weren't. There really is a Location Managers Guild awards.

Will Jada boycott this too?

Stoney said...

Not exactly on topic here but don't you think it's quite a coincidence that, just as "Spotlight" wins the Best Picture Oscar, TCM is doing a feature this month on films that were condemned by the Catholic Legion Of Decency?

Corey said...

I know you won't be there. It'll be the second Pesach seder for you!

Roseann said...

Anyone who has worked in the Film Business in NYC knows how IMPORTANT the Location Manager is to everyone's well being. They deserve an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, Tony and every other award available. They can make or break a crew member's day. Just imagine irate mommas running out of their NYC Brownstones at 5am ranting because all the generators just got turned on and they are STILL TRYING TO SLEEP. Location Managers salve that wound. Every Wardrobe Supervisor has to have a place to change extras, i.e., roll in racks of clothes and set up a wardrobe change area. Locations finds that place. And where the crew relaxes for a half hour for lunch. All Locations jobs.....

LouOCNY said...

MeTV just posted some pics from the M*A*S*H set - in the top one, is that you in the yellow with the bucket hat?? (and if so, next to D Isaacs?)

Jon B. said...

Friday question (my first one!): Awards Season seems like it would exhausting for all involved. Does movie production go on hiatus for those two-plus months? Or is there just a slow down? It seems like it would be hard for the affected cast members (and directors, etc.) to get so much time away from current projects.

H Johnson said...

I think I know just how you feel Ken...

Years ago, my wife and I decided to take a day trip to Tijuana to show the kids why it wasn't a disaster because when had to share their PlayStation. We stopped to get snacks for the drive down. Being the healthy one I chose a pound of fresh cherries and a gigantic diet coke.

It wasn't until we were returning and were sitting in a two mile long line to the border crossing that I realized I may have made a mistake. You're kinda locked in at that point with exactly no personal facilities available. As the clock slowed down to a near stop, I began sweating bullets and searching for alternative plans. How bad would it scar my kids to watch Daddy solve this problem in the confines of our new Ford Taurus? How long would it take my wife to find an attorney? Is it possible for the human body to explode?

All hope was gone. Why had we gone to Mexico for God's sake? If I'd stayed in Kailua I'd have never met my wife and had these kid's anyway. Why hadn't I gone to film school? What is the meaning of life? I wanna die!

The border agent was about to pull over what looked like a sweating, shaking, nervous obvious drug smuggler when I explained that I had been waiting two hours to take a shit and if he stopped us it would be on his head, literally. We raced up the 5 at 130 mph, okay that's a lie (we were in a Taurus) until we saw a glorious Chevron station with a restroom room directly in the center of the convenience store seemingly inches from the front counter.

Afterward, as I opened the door to a now empty store and then numerous dirty looks in the parking lot I could scarcely remember why I had been so worried.

Is it like that?


Andy Rose said...

Had to Google "Entertainment Weekly Radio" to make sure that actually exists.

Joseph Scarbrough said...

As someone who's done work as a stage manager before, I can certainly tell you that every year, I feel so sorry for the underappreciated people who have to put all of these shows together . . . and I've only done it on a small scale, I cannot imagine how much has to go into putting these big, extravagent award shows together.

Pat Reeder said...

I've always been fascinated by all the time, money and attention devoted to people in showbiz fields other than mine handing trophies to one another. For over 20 years, I've worked behind the scenes in radio, writing the comedy material and human interest stories that other people perform and get credit for. My wife and I have written material that's been heard on up to 600 stations a day in the US and used by radio hosts around the world. My reward has been a modest, steady paycheck and occasionally, one of the hosts telling me privately that our material is the best in the business. But for people in my field, there are no awards, trophies, public recognition, or little bald, naked men. Gold statues of them, I mean.

Closest we ever came was when a morning team won a national award that was televised on CBS. When they were nominated again the following year, one partner told me that our comedy material had so much to do with it that if they won again, he would thank us on network television. They won again. He didn't mention us.

Maybe I should start an award ceremony for all the anonymous people who work behind the scenes in radio and never get any awards. But who would watch it? I'm sure Neil Patrick Harris would agree to host it, but who would watch it?

Unkystan said...

And STILL no Oscar category for Casting!

The Bumble Bee Pendant said...

Unkystan said...And STILL no Oscar category for Casting!

Is that true? That is insane.
Is there an Emmy for that?

Unkystan said...

Yes it is true. Some directors want all the credit and the CD is treated as "the help".
Check out the documentary CASTING BY... It's fascinating.

Diane D. said...

I'm not even in the business, but I never see a movie or TV show without thinking about the casting---appreciating good casting or recognizing how bad casting (even in minor roles) had diminished the movie or TV show. I just watched the movie, CASTING BY, and I am astonished there is no Oscar for Casting. How sad for Marion Dougherty.

Roseann said...

John B-

NOPE - Movie/TV production does NOT shut down during awards season. Once that freight train has left the station it doesn't stop till everything is in the can -think Snowpiercer.

Everyone works double-y harder to get their nominees to the luncheon, ceremony, etc. Casting and Travel work to plan transportation, Producers work hard to shoot out or around the person who may not be there for 3 days or a week. Wardrobe, Hair, Make Up departments may have to help them get themselves together for the actual event. Those working in LA have an easier time of it than productions that are shooting on the East Coast or on Location somewhere else in the country (or even out of the country).
I have suffered through it all.