EP105: 129 Ways to Get a Husband and 1 Way to Get a Wife
Ken shares a hilarious and jaw dropping article from 1958 on how
to get a husband. You won’t believe some of these tips. And finally, a prank Ken pulled on his writing partner to get him a wife. You won’t be alone after listening to this podcast.
Getting lost at a football game sounds like something Monica and Rachel would do. The rest is hilarious. Ken, I definitely take offense to the Trump/hunting comment. My brother is a cop. My 3 nephews are military and hunt and my niece is also military, ROLLER DERBY. My niece’s daughter is 14 and hunts. Everyone I mentioned is also college educated and I have two nieces who are Pharmacists. Yes, we are conservatives who hunt, which is probably more humane than these horrific slaughter houses. I know you didn’t mention military or cops in your comment but I figured I would mention it. I’m glad your viewpoints didn’t come through in your writing. I watch Cheers every day and the episodes you wrote were the funniest.
A question for tomorrow Ken on Oscars. There wont be any host this time. Just STARS introducing us mere mortals to songs, awards segment etc..... So basically more stand-up ovations, more time consuming crap fest is in the offing.
And also what's your view on Kevin Hart's old tweets being brought out to kick him out of the host's job?
Speaking of 1958, have you seen the video of the show “Trackdown” from that era? It really has to be seen to be believed, and even then you probably won’t believe it. But Snopes confirms it is, in fact, real. A con man comes to town in the old west and claims only he can save it from destruction by building a wall! And the con man’s name? https://mobile.twitter.com/_AlexHirsch/status/1083140191362048000
Recall a piece in a Harry Golden book, about the same vintage, claiming widows and Women of a Certain Age were flocking to college towns to target naive, sheltered professors. Some years later, saw a feature article asserting that savvy husband hunters were going to Disney World, because that's where they'd find (fairly affluent) divorced fathers doing quality time with kids. One got results by swooping in with a pack of hands-wipes when a good prospect was dealing with spilled ice cream.
In the name of equal time, you should look up "How to Pick Up Girls", constantly advertised in National Lampoon. I have the "new enlarged" 1980 edition of the 1970 original. Maybe not as outright misogynistic as the "artists" who were all over a while back, but still a lot of jaw dropping. A key assertion is that beautiful women WANT to be picked up, and are often pushovers for Joe Average if he's forward yet Nice. "Nice" includes ... -- offering to massage a secretary's nice and shoulders if she looks stressed. -- asking a pretty stranger to pose for snapshots, then asking for her name and address to send a print. -- picking up salesgirls in "better department stories", because they're bored and will appreciate it. -- picking up receptionists and executive secretaries, because they're stuck there and have to be polite to you -- remembering that you'll always find single women at a house of worship. And the location makes a pickup less "indelicate" -- being open minded (a chapter is headed "When you can't find a Playboy Centerfold")
@jen from jersey Sinces Ken's writings are sympathic to humanity and stays away from cheap demeaning shots at people his values and political positions come through. Compare his humor to the polemics spewed forth by demented donnies supporters who thing for things to be funny they have to demean, insult and abuse anyone who may be lower on the socio econmic scale. I give you the three "great" conservative humorist's of the day Alex Jones, claimed to be nothing more then a comedic entertainer under oath, fatboy mouth limbough who'se anus and mouth are the same organ, and dennis miller need anything else be said?
8 comments :
Getting lost at a football game sounds like something Monica and Rachel would do. The rest is hilarious. Ken, I definitely take offense to the Trump/hunting comment. My brother is a cop. My 3 nephews are military and hunt and my niece is also military, ROLLER DERBY. My niece’s daughter is 14 and hunts. Everyone I mentioned is also college educated and I have two nieces who are Pharmacists. Yes, we are conservatives who hunt, which is probably more humane than these horrific slaughter houses. I know you didn’t mention military or cops in your comment but I figured I would mention it. I’m glad your viewpoints didn’t come through in your writing. I watch Cheers every day and the episodes you wrote were the funniest.
Funny podcast.
A question for tomorrow Ken on Oscars.
There wont be any host this time. Just STARS introducing us mere mortals to songs, awards segment etc..... So basically more stand-up ovations, more time consuming crap fest is in the offing.
And also what's your view on Kevin Hart's old tweets being brought out to kick him out of the host's job?
Speaking of 1958, have you seen the video of the show “Trackdown” from that era? It really has to be seen to be believed, and even then you probably won’t believe it. But Snopes confirms it is, in fact, real. A con man comes to town in the old west and claims only he can save it from destruction by building a wall! And the con man’s name?
https://mobile.twitter.com/_AlexHirsch/status/1083140191362048000
Recall a piece in a Harry Golden book, about the same vintage, claiming widows and Women of a Certain Age were flocking to college towns to target naive, sheltered professors. Some years later, saw a feature article asserting that savvy husband hunters were going to Disney World, because that's where they'd find (fairly affluent) divorced fathers doing quality time with kids. One got results by swooping in with a pack of hands-wipes when a good prospect was dealing with spilled ice cream.
In the name of equal time, you should look up "How to Pick Up Girls", constantly advertised in National Lampoon. I have the "new enlarged" 1980 edition of the 1970 original. Maybe not as outright misogynistic as the "artists" who were all over a while back, but still a lot of jaw dropping. A key assertion is that beautiful women WANT to be picked up, and are often pushovers for Joe Average if he's forward yet Nice. "Nice" includes ...
-- offering to massage a secretary's nice and shoulders if she looks stressed.
-- asking a pretty stranger to pose for snapshots, then asking for her name and address to send a print.
-- picking up salesgirls in "better department stories", because they're bored and will appreciate it.
-- picking up receptionists and executive secretaries, because they're stuck there and have to be polite to you
-- remembering that you'll always find single women at a house of worship. And the location makes a pickup less "indelicate"
-- being open minded (a chapter is headed "When you can't find a Playboy Centerfold")
Have you contacted the Academy and offered your services to host the Oscars?
The good news: you have a low profile
I think you would be the perfect host for the Academy Awards. Funny, witty, and no pretentions.
Dave Sims would be a great guest if you ever want to do a podcast with a Baseball twist.
@jen from jersey
Sinces Ken's writings are sympathic to humanity and stays away from cheap demeaning shots at people his values and political positions come through.
Compare his humor to the polemics spewed forth by demented donnies supporters who thing for things to be funny they have to demean, insult and abuse anyone who may be lower on the socio econmic scale.
I give you the three "great" conservative humorist's of the day
Alex Jones, claimed to be nothing more then a comedic entertainer under oath, fatboy mouth limbough who'se anus and mouth are the same organ, and dennis miller need anything else be said?
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