Emmy nominations are today

Today is the day the Primetime Emmys are announced. This was written before the nominees were released. I love to review things before they happen or before I know what I’m talking about. So here’s what I can predict:

Many of the nominated shows you will not have watched.

Many of the nominated actors you will not be familiar with.

Even once they’re nominated, you still won’t watch these shows.

The Emmy campaigns in Los Angeles will be the biggest ever this year. Look for billboards everywhere. It’s only a matter of time before robo-calls.

With so many competing shows and talent there will be way more snubs this year.

There will be shows and actors nominated in categories they don’t belong in.

The Academy will be trying to cut down on the number of actual awards shown live as if giving out writing awards is what causes their four-hour show to be ponderous.

There will be no talk of omitting directing awards from the primetime telecast.

Broadcast networks will get just a sprinkling of nominations while cable and streaming services will get the vast majority.

The debate will be renewed as to whether a streaming show is considered “television.”

Most people will watch the nominated shows on their computers or devices, not their TV’s.

And finally, here’s the big difference between now and decades gone by – once upon a time shows could be good AND popular. Now they’re one or the other. So the Emmys are no longer really a shared national experience. 30 million MASH fans squared off against 40 million ALL IN THE FAMILY fans. Nothing like that exists today, which to me is a shame.

Congratulations to all the nominees. The ceremony will be Monday, September 17th and I plan to review them again for my podcast. A day later is the Jewish High Holiday so I can repent for whatever snarky bitchy thing I say.

EP80: A tour of the Paramount Lot

On this week's Hollywood and Levine Podcast, Ken gives you a VIP tour of the Paramount lot where many classic movies and TV shows were filmed. Ken called Paramount home for twenty years and has tons of stories and history on this iconic lot. Only thing missing is a tram. 

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

BARRY -- My review

I didn’t vote for BARRY for the Best Comedy Emmy because it’s not really that funny, and there are dramas that are more powerful, but I sure like the show.

BARRY is an eight episode series that has been on HBO since March. (Yes, I’m late to the party. What else is new?) And it stars Bill Hader (who always seems nice when I see him at the gym) as a disillusioned hit man who gets the acting bug when he comes to LA to kill an actor (one of the more common occurrences in Los Angeles).

There are fun quirky characters and comedic moments (although I honestly laughed at loud more from THE GOOD FIGHT), but the characters are rich and the storytelling is terrific. Kudos to Bill Hader and Alec Berg.

The writers do a very smart thing. Hader’s character (“Barry”) is constantly pulled in two directions – his hit man life, which gets more complicated, and his acting pursuit, which includes a relationship with lovely and very real Sarah Goldberg. Watching him juggle these two worlds is compelling and fun.

They also do something really clever – maybe the best device ever for getting out backstory exposition. Barry pours his heart out to acting teacher, Henry Winkler, who mistakes it for an audition monologue and accepts him into the class. So not only was the exposition dispensed to the audience, it also was a great character piece and a key plot point. That’s some nifty writing right there.

Besides Hader, whose only better performance is when he does his Alan Alda impression, Henry Winkler is great as the self-absorbed bullshit acting teacher, Stephen Root shines as Barry’s handler, and Anthony Carrigan steals every scene as an insouciant Euro (or Eastern Euro)-trash mobster. I also love Paula Newsome as the police detective on Barry’s trail (although, in fairness I’ve loved her since I directed her in CONRAD BLOOM and am relieved I didn’t kill her career). Oh, and Jon Hamm was convincing as Jon Hamm.

I do hope BARRY gets some Emmy recognition. Bill Hader deserves a nomination certainly for Best Actor. I suspect there will be a season two. I’ll have to ask the next time I see him at the gym. But if you haven’t seen it, BARRY on HBO is worth a look.  What say you all? 

Sound advice

Now we have surround sound and I’m sure some have THX for the home, but for many years TV sound came out of little speakers. The fidelity was not great. But in those days who knew the difference? Did anyone ever say, “Gilligan sounds a little tinny tonight, doesn’t he?”

Of course we also listened to music on AM radio – in mono, compressed, with occasional static – and at the time it never bothered anybody. FM was also available during that period but largely ignored. You would think that once people got hip to the existence of FM and its way better fidelity in stereo that there would be a mad rush to the FM dial. But it took years for FM to overtake AM.

So television audio continued to squeak out of little grills for way more years than it needed to.

When I was a disc jockey on AM radio I always had a choice. I could listen on my headphones to the output of the board or a radio, which gave me an accurate account of how it really sounded. Needless to say, what was being sent to the transmitter sounded way better. Crystal clear. The “radio” signal contained all the processing, squashed sound, etc.

I always listened to the on-air monitor. I always wanted to hear exactly what the listeners heard. Sometimes the mix of voice over the music was different once it left the transmitter. But again, I wanted to hear what it sounded like in Reseda. So the Sav-On Drug Store commercials didn’t sound as good. It was a price I was willing to pay.

But when I became a TV showrunner in the ‘80s and would go in for the final mix of a show I would drive the sound people crazy because I insisted we mix it down based on a transistor radio speaker. Meanwhile, they had these gorgeous hanging speakers and control boards with 567 channels, all with EQ and special effect capability. You can’t believe how great things sounded on those mega speakers. But that’s not what the viewer would hear. So I mixed the show on a speaker similar to the one on their 15” Sony Trinatron portable.

That’s also how I mixed opening theme songs (back when there WERE opening theme songs).

If I were overseeing a final mix today I would not use a small speaker. But I would make sure ALL the dialog is heard. There’s a lot of mumbling on TV shows now. And just as I would in the ‘old days,” I would make sure the audience heard the dialogue loud and clear. And if that meant lowering the volume on the background music or the cool ambience or tropical birds then so be it.

The only thing important is what the AUDIENCE hears. Technology has changed, but that hasn’t. If you need Closed Captions to watch a show in English there’s something seriously wrong.

Pepe Le Pew

Pepe Le Pew is a cartoon character. Depending on your age you might never have heard of him. He was introduced by Warner Brothers in 1945 and has made numerous appearances in Looney Tunes.

You’re probably not going to be seeing much of him these days. He’s become very non-PC.

Pepe is an amorous skunk who is always on the make. He fancies himself a great suave French lover (accent and everything) and is hopelessly in love with a black female cat he mistakes for a skunk. He is completely lovesick to where he’s always stalking her, trying to sweep her into his arms, and the joke of course is that he’s a skunk and she’s repulsed. In short, he’s the poster skunk for sexual harassment.

But that’s today. In 1949 a Pepe Le Pew cartoon won an Academy Award for Best Animated Short. Today he’s a predator, back then he was a “ladies man.”

Several years ago, in my first play, A OR B? I made a Pepe Le Pew reference and it consistently got a big laugh. Bigger than I would have expected. So for fun I slipped a Pepe Le Pew joke into my next play. Same thing. Loud laugh. At that point I became curious. Was the name just funny? Was it such an absurd putdown to compare someone to him?  Why were people laughing at the mere mention of Pepe Le Pew? 

In any event, it’s now become kind of a running joke. I put a Pepe Le Pew reference into every full-length play (except one) and he appears in a number of my one-acts as well.  The one play he doesn’t appear in is OUR TIME but only because I couldn’t find an appropriate place for it and I will never just shoehorn in a joke.

But I wondered if the Pepe Le Pew jokes would work as well today in this new #MeToo era. A couple of weeks ago I had a one-act play in a festival in Brooklyn that did have a Pepe Le Pew joke. Now bear in mind I’m more than willing to remove them if they’re now deemed inappropriate. They’re just silly jokes. But guess what, both performances I saw, Pepe still got laughs.

Sometimes things work in comedy that are hard to explain. When I’m running a writers room and someone pitches a joke and the whole room breaks into laughter I tell the writers assistant to put it in just like that. Upon reflection maybe the syntax is wrong or something about it seems off, but my feeling is however it was pitched got a laugh so go with that and don’t bother analyzing why it worked when it shouldn’t have.

Pepe Le Pew is now an obscure reference and no longer acceptable in society. And yet, as I was watching the Grand Rapids production of OUR TIME I was thinking to myself – there’s gotta be a place for a Pepe Le Pew joke in here somewhere.

The 2000's begin tonight

CNN kicks off another decades documentary tonight with the 2000's.   Happy to say that like with the '70's, '80s, and '90s I'm included in the chapter on television.  Who knows how often?  Maybe ten seconds, but I'm told I made the cut. 

And hey, I'm just thrilled I was actually in television that long.

The previous decade documentaries have been fantastic so I'm really looking forward to this installment. 

Proud to be a part of Fake News.

Ken Levine a.k.a. Beaver Cleaver

Barbara Billingsley, who played June Cleaver on the classic 50s sitcom LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, passed away several years ago.  She was 94.  Not the star that Lauren Bacall was, but as a kid I marveled at how she cooked and cleaned and always wore a party dress and pearls.  My mom never did.   But for years it was an honor to be mistaken for Barbara's TV son.

I guess that requires an explanation, huh?

Okay, that means a look back at my checkered radio career...

After being fired from KMEN San Bernardino in late ‘73 I sat out of work for six months. Apparently no one wanted a wise-ass disc jockey with a light voice. I couldn’t even land a gig doing all-nights in Fresno. Ironically, when I did get an offer it was to do evenings at WDRQ, Detroit. So I wasn’t good enough for market #100 but I was fine for market #4.

More on my actual adventures in Detroit in future posts but today I want to concentrate on my name. No rock station would let me use my actual name (Levine sounded too… uh, “Red Sea Pedestrian”). And in general disc jockeys had very generic names. Johnny Mitchell. Steve Clark. Bob Shannon. Take any two simple first names and slam them together.

Needless to say, to audiences these disc jockeys were interchangeable. In some cases stations changed personnel but just kept the name. So Bill Bailey could be the afternoon man but over the course of three years that could be four different guys.

In Bakersfield and San Bernardino I was Ken Stevens. When I got the job in Detroit I decided to make a change. I took the moniker Beaver Cleaver.

Why?

I wanted something distinctive. I wanted something memorable. The first time the listener heard, “Hi, this is Beaver Cleaver” I wanted him to say "What the fuck?!"   Any major program director will tell you -- if you can get the audience to say "What the fuck?!" you've won. 

It was a name everybody knew from the TV show. I figured a lot of people would wonder if I was Jerry Mathers (who played the Beav). This might even prompt some discussion in various Detroit high schools. How often did you discuss disc jockeys in your high school?

I also liked that the name was easy to say. As opposed to Illya Kuryakin, my second choice (although it would have been fun to hear jingle singers trying to sing Illya Kuryakin).

I’d like to take credit for being the first disc jockey to do something like this, but the truth is I wasn’t. Art Ferguson debuted on KHJ in 1967 as Charlie Tuna. At the time Charlie the Tuna was the cartoon mascot of the Starkist Tuna ad campaign. Whether it was Art’s idea or a program director I thought it was genius.

One other side benefit to “Beaver Cleaver” was that I could use it for double entendres. Remember this was for a teenage audience. I came on the first night and said, “This is the grand opening of the Beaver.” Yes, it was juvenile but my goal was to make noise. I'm sure I got some more "What the fucks?!" with that one. 

Anyway, it worked. People did take notice and remember. A few years ago I was having lunch with Tom Hanks. He was saying he grew up in the Bay Area and I mentioned I was a disc jockey in San Francisco at that time. “Who were you?” he asked. When I told him his eyes lit up and immediately he said, “Beaver Cleaver! KYA! Boss of the Bay!” I don’t think he would have remembered the name I used in Bakersfield.  (I bet you can't either and you just read it fifteen seconds ago.)  

So I used that handle at WDRQ and future stops as a DJ. Later that year I was hired by K100 in Los Angeles. (A year before I couldn’t get arrested in Fresno.) The station was owned by Bill Drake & Gene Chenault, the architects of the KHJ Boss Radio format that was the rage of the 60s. I was brought in to do evenings, following the Real Don Steele. It was a dream job except I hated the program director. When I say he was clueless, here’s how clueless:

The day I was slated to debut the station had all of the other jocks hyping my arrival. The PD stopped in the booth and midday guy, Eric Chase jokingly asked if I was going to have Wally and Lumpy join me my first night. The PD said, “What are you talking about?” Eric said, “Wally and Lumpy – the Beav's brother and his dufus friend.” The PD was completely confused. Eric said, “Y’know, from the TV show. From LEAVE IT TO BEAVER.” The PD’s eyes widened in horror. “There’s a TV show?!”

How the fuck could this moron not have heard of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER?

So he calls me into his office panicked. There were already promos on the air. What if we got sued? I tried to calm him down. “If we get sued,” I said, “it’s the best thing that could ever happen to us.” Now he was really perplexed. I reasoned that in the highly unlikely event we were sued this would become a big story. The local TV stations would probably cover it. K100 would get more free publicity than it could ever imagine. I would stop using Beaver Cleaver and the station could invite listeners to come up with my new name. Fortunately, owner Bill Drake thought that was brilliant and I was allowed to keep calling myself Mrs. Cleaver’s Beaver.

For the record, I was never sued. And continued to use the name until 1980. By the way, Frank Bank, who played “Lumpy”, was once Jerry Mathers’s investment adviser.

Friday Questions

Have you recovered from the 4th? Here are some FQ’s for the 6th.

Chris Dellecese starts us off:

Watching some reruns of Mad About You, I notice that as it gets deeper in the series, Helen Hunt’s name starts popping up in the Producer credits, and suddenly there seem to be a lot more references to how “beautiful” her character is in various episodes.

Can’t be an accident.

I’m guessing you don’t know the particulars here, but in general how do shows, scripts and characters change when the stars become more active in producing, directing, etc?

I personally hadn’t noticed that about Helen Hunt’s character in MAD ABOUT YOU in those later years.  Paul Riser talked so much I pretty much tuned him out. 

Some actors take the credit and involvement very seriously. In a few cases they really contribute positively. Alan Alda on MASH for example.

Other times actor/producers can become the 800-pound gorilla. It depends on the actor. Roseanne was a holy terror.

In many cases however, the credit means more vanity and more money and the actor doesn’t exert himself more into the process.

From Janet Ybarra

Ken, do you ever think about projects beyond your blog and podcast? Specifically, thinking would you want to get into radio via Sirius XM? Or go back to calling baseball for someone?

I would love to call baseball play-by-play again in the right situation. I really miss it. And depending on the project, I’d be happy to do something for Sirius/XM. I love radio (as I’m sure anyone can tell from my podcast).

Besides that I just look for projects that interest me. I have a number of plays I’m either in the process of writing or trying to find homes for. And I wouldn’t rule out TV if there’s an idea that really excites me and a venue that will give me the freedom to do it my way (which might just be wishful thinking).

estiv asks:

Got a question, but I'll admit it's kind of nebulous.

Many nights recently I've watched Frasier on Cozy TV, and I was struck watching an early episode at how well the comedy and the serious moments were blended. As much respect as I have for Norman Lear, one thing that always bothered me about his shows was the way the serious moments were frequently heavy-handed, and there would often be one character who'd keep cracking jokes no matter what. I guess that's a way to make your point and still keep your audience, but it wore thin for me.

This episode of Frasier featured a turning point in his relationship with his father, where Frasier blew up and walked out of the apartment. What stood out was how smoothly that moment followed what had to some extent been a series of jokes. True to the things you say often, those jokes were true to the characters and to the situation, but even so the dialogue was clearly meant to be funny. The moment when Frasier walked out was obviously not meant to be funny at all.

So my question is: how hard is it to do that? If you shift gears too quickly, it feels wrong. If you do it too slowly, things lag. How do you get it right?

You need to establish the tone very early on in the life of the series. You need to make the characters real and you need to protect them. You must never sacrifice your characters for the sake of a joke – no matter how funny the joke is. ALWAYS play your characters to the top of their intelligence.

Characters have to have REAL problems that people can relate to. And they must deal with those problems with behavior consistent with who they are.  The serious moments have to be EARNED.

Showrunners must really be watchdogs. But the results are worth it and at times you end up with sitcom episodes that have great depth along with great laughs.

And finally, from Garrett:

When you direct an episode, how many weeks do you dedicate to that process? Is there a week for preparation, a week for production and week for editing?

Built right into directors’ contracts is pre-production time. That’s more necessary in single-camera shows (i.e. shot like a movie). You need to scout locations, plan your shooting schedule, have a tone meeting with the showrunner, etc.

I’ve directed mostly multi-cam episodes and there is little or no pre-production. On some occasions I don’t even see the script until the night before the table reading.

Usually, an hour before the table reading there is a production meeting where the director will go page by page with various department heads to work out what sets, props, wardrobe, effects, food, etc. will be needed for the episode.

But you’ll notice that one director might direct every episode of a season of a multi-cam show (a la James Burrows) where as different directors are needed for single-camera shows. That’s because single-camera directors really do need a few days to prepare for their episode.

What’s you’re Friday Question?

What if "Diane" stayed on CHEERS?

As an experiment I recently sprinkled in a few Friday Question Days from ten years ago.  Nobody goes back and actually reads the archives.  I received good response from it so I'm doing it again.  Hopefully you're not reading this in the Emergency Room having lost two fingers due to last night's fireworks. 

From Brian:

Have you ever considered or were you ever offered the chance to write commercials? Many commercials leave me thinking "What ad genius thought that one up?" and "That's supposed to make we want to buy that?"

There was a period before my writing career when I was pretty much considering anything other than movie stars’ personal assistant. I was always leery of advertising because I had always heard it was a pressure cooker, everyone had ulcers, and you had to come up with campaigns without the benefit of a wife who’s a witch. But desperate times called for desperate applications. I got a meeting at J. Walter Thompson’s and was asked to go home and write up some copy. I did and never heard back from them. I’m guessing they didn’t love it.

Several comedy writers started in advertising. Allan Katz (MASH, Rhoda, All in the Family, Roseanne) came up with the name “Screaming Yellow Zonkers”, and Steve Gordon who wrote and directed ARTHUR started as a Mad Man.

Tyroc asks:

Where do you think the Sam/Diane relationship would have gone had Shelley Long stayed on it? Do you think the show would've run as long as it did?

There were no long range plans for Sam/Diane and the thing about CHEERS is that the Charles Brothers always encouraged as many different ideas and directions as we could think of. The goal was to find the most original story arc possible. So who knows? There was resistance to marrying them but if someone came up with a fresh unexpected take on the institution we might have gone in that direction.

And from Ski:

I have noticed that on some TV shows, some writers play characters on the shows they write. Do any of these writers ever switch jobs and become actors? Or conversely, are there any actors who say "screw it I wanna write"?

A couple of writers for THE OFFICE are part of the ensemble. And of course there’s Tina Fey.

But there have a number of instances when comedy writers go before the camera. I’ll give a few examples but I’m sure there are quite a few more. Conan O’Brien went from the SIMPSONS writing staff to some talk show, I forget the name. Jay Tarses, one of the driving forces behind THE BOB NEWHART SHOW and BUFFALO BILL was in the cast of OPEN ALL NIGHT (a show he co-created) and THE DUCK FACTORY. Everett Greenbaum, who I profiled recently, made a nice living as a character actor the last ten years of his life. And most writers wind up doing little cameos, further proving that it’s the one-or-two line guys who kill you. That wasn’t the case with me, however. I was great in the two shows I acted in.

A number of stand-up comics gravitate towards the writing room. A few do both. Dana Gould on RAYMOND is one. Carol Leifer is another. And don’t forget Larry David.

Several actors also write, like Alan Alda and Jerry Seinfeld but aren’t about to trade the greasepaint for grease boards.

And then there’s Rachel Sweet, a wonderful writer with such credits as SEINFELD, DHARMA & GREG, and SPORTS NIGHT. She was an 80’s punk rock star. That's the way I wanted to break into the writing field.

EP79: Inside the Writers Room

Ken takes you inside the Writers Room and explains what it takes to succeed. A must episode for all prospective sitcom writers.

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

Whitney Houston's masterpiece

This gives me chills every time I hear it. If Whitney Houston had "one moment in time" this was it. Happy 4th of July everybody.

Happy 4th of July

As I mentioned recently, I drove through Ohio and Michigan a few weeks ago and was shocked by the number of billboards for fireworks. 

Why the hell do people buy home fireworks?

How many fingers and eyebrows do they have to lose? On the other hand, it's hard to vote for do-nothing incumbent congressmen this November if you don't have fingers.

What parent in his right mind with children would set off something called a 12 inch “strike force missile”?

Or a “Mad Dog”
 “Bazooka Bear”
“Titanium Cracker”
“Dragon’s Wrath”
“Big Mama Jama"
“Brutal Force”
“Nuke Power”
“Pull String Grenade”
“Assorted Color Ammo Smoke”
“Caliber Blast”
“Car Bomb”
“Big Earthquake”
“Jumboshell Fountain”
“Pyrogyro”
“Cracker Jack in a Box”
“Deadly Fire”
“Battle of New Orleans”
“Pay Back”
“Mucho Grande – small” (isn’t that an oxymoron?)
“Air Raid”
Or of course the ever popular “So X*@! Good”?

Explain to me where these are “safe and SANE”.

Better to go to a city park, ballpark, or Steven Spielberg’s house. Enter a 5K race, cheer on a parade and pray that the grand marshal is someone more impressive than Flo from Progressive Insurance.

Have a wonderful day.  Don't blow your fingers off.

Dump network trailers

Several years ago broadcast networks began producing trailers of their new upcoming shows. I think this tactic is a mistake.

Or at least get better shows.

The comedies in particular look ghastly this year. If the idea of a trailer is to motivate you to watch the show (or movie) these have the opposite effect. I don’t know how anyone can look at some of these sitcom trailers and not say, “This is stupid. No way am I watching this shit.”

Your show is dead even before it airs. At least in the pre-trailer days, viewers would only catch fleeting glimpses of the new shows. They still might be curious enough to tune in. But when you watch these trailers and see how painfully unfunny they are, you're as gone as a cool breeze.

And half the casts are being replaced. So the trailers you see feature actors who were fired. Networks are not even presenting the good versions of the bad shows they’re showcasing.

Aside from that you’re seeing the same faces you’ve seen every year, now recycled one more time. Oh boy, Cedric the Entertainer has white neighbors who just moved in. Cart out the old JEFFERSON jokes from 1975. And hey, with new casting the white neighbors are the guy from NEW GIRL and girl from 2 BROKE GIRLS.  Everything about that seems stale and familiar. 

Audiences have learned that movie comedies put their best jokes in the trailer. So when those jokes suck you know the movie does too. With very few exceptions, the same is true in sitcom trailers. And what you’re left with – or at least what I’m left with – is that for all the pilot scripts commissioned and all the “notes” and then the fifteen or so that get made by each network – after a year’s worth of development – THESE are the best shows?

The decline of network television is inevitable. But it’s odd to see them contribute to their own demise. Lose the comedy trailers. So what if other networks employ them? It’s bad enough you’re running the shows. Give yourself a fighting chance.

OCEAN'S EIGHT -- my review

Here’s the REAL plot of caper movie, OCEAN'S EIGHT – a movie studio is trying to steal $100,000,000 from unsuspecting theatergoers.

What a blatant cash grab. Award-winning actresses cashing big paychecks. Cate Blanchett in this film is like having a Maserati and using it to go to Trader Joe’s to pick up an onion. Anne Hathaway steals the movie by being mildly amusing.

The best thing I can say about OCEAN'S EIGHT is that it’s better than the all-woman remake of GHOSTBUSTERS. But it’s the same principle – take an existing franchise and utilize the current trend.

I could devote an entire post to pointing out the absurd plot holes and inconsistencies. But if you see this movie you won’t need me.

Here are some of the factors that go into good caper movies:

The stings are ingenious.

The person being robbed deserves it.

The crew must pull off seemingly impossible tasks.

Despite all the precision planning, things go wrong, and the crew must improvise to avoid getting caught.

In short – NOTHING COMES EASY.

Okay, with that in mind…

SPOILER ALERT -- More on the structure than the specifics.

They rob a $150,000,000 diamond necklace from Cartier… because that’s where the necklace happened to be. So in a sense the movie is glorifying crime. It’s not like Cartier agreed to build Trump’s wall.

Every problem is easily solved. Sarah Paulson needs a great job at Vogue to get inside info on a big party -- poof! She gets it.

When they learn a special magnet prevents anyone from removing the necklace once it’s around someone’s neck, crew member Rihanna just happens to have a sister who is an expert at this (magnetic locks?), is nearby, and solves the problem lickity-split.

Mindy Kalin needs a job in the kitchen?  Grab an apron!  

The plan itself pretty much goes like clockwork. Rarely if ever do we get to see these women have to be resourceful. So there’s practically zero suspense.

And the heist part of the movie is over about an hour in, and if feels like they edited the footage and said, “Shit! We’re short. Now what do we do to fill another half hour?” The insurance investigator plot (with the under utilized James Corden) feels completely tacked on. And other than revealing ridiculous twists and surprises the piece accomplishes nothing – it certainly doesn’t add to the suspense.

There’s not a minute in this movie that you don’t feel they’re going to succeed at every level.

And as for the witty banter, I saw the movie is a full theatre. Aside from some titters along the way there was one solid laugh in the whole film. And that was delivered by James Corden about 70 minutes into the movie and felt like a throwaway line that he ad libbed.

There are some fabulous caper movies if you like the genre. Among them: THE HOT ROCK, THE STING, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (both versions), THE LADY KILLERS, THE KILLING, and THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY.

And there was a British TV series that was wondrous called HUSTLE. Every week the stings were five times as ingenious as OCEANS EIGHT with a terrific cast. Seek it out if you can.

But as for OCEAN'S EIGHT, keep your hand on your wallet when you pass the boxoffice.

B100 reasons to love radio

Happy to say I was a disc jockey back when radio was fun. In the ‘70s there were two formats that appealed to young listeners. Laid-back album oriented FM stations where all the DJ’s were stoned or at least aspired to be. And Top 40 where the presentation was high energy. Speed instead of downers. I gravitated towards Top 40. There was more freedom to be zany, you could talk every three minutes instead of every fifteen minutes (after long far out album sets), and you could play jingles and sound effects and wild tracks of people telling you to shut up. Top 40 was a better fit for my personality. I was not cool. I was not mellow. I thought “Nights in White Satin” sucked.

The only downside to Top 40 radio was that you played the same damn ten songs over and over again. That’s what eventually drove me out of it (that and being fired a lot). But playing “Kung Fu Fighting” four times a night every night almost turned me into Mary Todd Lincoln.

In 1975 KFMB-FM San Diego became B100. Programmed by a radio genius, Bobby Rich, it was a wild fun station with the slogan “Better Boogie” (whatever that meant). By then I had retired from radio full-time and was in Los Angeles launching my TV writing career. But I still did weekends on B100. Thank goodness the station had a trade deal with PSA airlines and the Travelator Hotel (where all the stewardesses stayed and slept with everyone but me). I was using the air name Beaver Cleaver and having the time of my radio life. Imagine Seth MacFarlane but not as tasteful.

Almost from day one the station was a huge hit. San Diego kids were very discerning when it came to “Boogie” and appreciated that ours was better.

For the one-year anniversary of the station, program director Bobby Rich put together a weekend special – 100 hours on non-stop music. No commercials. And better than that, he invited top disc jockeys from Southern California to come down and make guest appearances. Rich Brother Robbin, Dave Conley, and Chuck Browning (former well-known San Diego personalities) and Billy Pearl (formerly of KHJ and once my roommate) joined the airstaff for 100 hours.

To mix it up everyone worked one-hour shifts. And in a couple of cases we doubled up. I did an hour teamed with Rich Brother Robbin and another with Billy Pearl.

Pretty much anything went. Inside radio jokes flew. At the time there was a syndicated program rock stations were airing called the Fantasy Concert, where a Woodstock-like concert was imagined. (They played "Kung Fu Fighting" but put crowd noise underneath it.)  So I did the Concert from Rock n’ Roll Heaven. In an Ed Sullivan voice I introduced all dead acts. There were Mama Cass ham sandwich jokes, Jimi Hendrix jokes – like I said, good taste was not a high priority.

And for most of the weekend everyone hung out at the station. It was one continuous party. Hopefully the listeners got swept up in our enthusiasm and rowdiness because we were probably terrible. It’s like seeing home videos of the party you thought was so awesome. In the light of day taking off your clothes and peeing in the cat box was not the great idea you thought it was at the time.

But the point is radio was fun. It was live, it was audacious, and sadly, I don’t think will ever be like that again.

Funny because it's true

This is a cartoon by William Haefeli from the June 18th edition of THE NEW YORKER. 

                        "I set a limit: one pity play per actor per year." 

All of my friends are welcome to substitute "playwright" for "actor."

As a result you're all excused for the rest of the year.   And yes, a "reading" counts.

When I have a play in production locally, usually the first few performances are filled with friends (which I deeply appreciate).   But it's very that cool that around week three I glance into the audience and don't recognize anybody.   "Ohmygod!  Actual strangers want to see this!" 

But I saw the cartoon and thought, what a perfect intro to thank my friends (and blog readers) who have come to see my work.  Pity is one thing but an empty theatre is way worse. 

Now I better get back to work on that twelve hour one-man show I'm writing about the time I got my tonsils out.  Should be ready by January.  See you all again next year!

Friday Questions

Friday Questions anybody?

Mork (nanu nanu) leads off.

I've got a baseball-adjacent question for you, Ken--what are your thoughts (if any) on baseball cards? Did you ever collect them, either as a kid or adult? Do you think they're good for the game, bad for the game, just plain dumb?

I loved baseball cards as a kid and had a big collection. Back in those days you couldn’t buy entire sets. You had to buy the gum (sugar-coated cardboard) and certain cards were rare and hard to get. You’d also end up with doubles and triples of cards. I think I had 12 Joey Jay, Milwaukee Braves cards one year.

But in my neighborhood you would flip cards. You and your opponent would stand at one end of a room and flip your cards against the opposite wall. Whichever card fell closet to the wall was the winner and you got to keep both cards. You would flip your doubles and triples in the hopes of getting a player you didn’t have.

Back before the internet, baseball cards were pretty much the only source of player statistics. And I would study them religiously.

Now baseball card collecting has become a business and to me that’s a shame. There’s an innocence to the hobby that’s lost.

But overall I still feel baseball cards are good for the game. Anything to promote interest in baseball is a good thing.

And finally, to all the moms out there, don’t throw out your kids’ baseball card collections. They will want them someday, trust me.

Brian Phillips asks:

What are some longest laughs from the studio audience that came from a Levine and Isaacs script?

In the first year CHEERS episode, “The Boys in the Bar” – where the regulars were worried the bar might go gay – we had a scene of Sam and Diane in the poolroom. Sam is trying to come to grips with the news that his roommate during his playing days was gay. At one point he says: “I shoulda known. One night we were in a piano bar and he requested a show tune.”

For some reason that got a thunderous laugh. The audience laughter was so long that director James Burrows cut the cameras to avoid wasting any more film.

When you have a joke that stops cameras – that’s the walk-off grand slam home run for comedy writers.

Mark has a question based on my glowing review of THE MIDDLE.

Given your love for the show back in 2013, did you get an immediate response from the makers of the show to either write or direct an episode?

I did get an immediate response from the showrunners thanking me, but no I was not approached to write or direct one. And that’s fine. I didn’t write my review with any hopes of getting an assignment. It was purely from the heart with no ulterior motives.

There’s talk of a spin-off starring “Sue.” I hope that happens. I’d much rather see that than a ROSEANNE spin-off.

And finally, from Mike Kaiser:

Hi, Ken-- All of these recent suicides got me thinking.... back in the day, was it the network censors that caused the TV version of the M*A*S*H theme to be aired without lyrics or was that a creative decision or something in between?

It was Gene Reynolds and Larry Gelbart’s decision never to air the lyrics. The lyrics do not at all reflect the tone or sentiment of the TV show. I applaud their decision and during my watch not once did we entertain airing the lyrics.

The lyrics are stupid and meant to be. Robert Altman’s teenage son wrote them. And ironically, his son has made more money off the royalties than his dad ever did directing the movie.

What’s your Friday Question? Leave it in the comments section. Thank you.

And yet ANOTHER opening...

Happy to say that my play OUR TIME opens tonight in New York!  This is a terrific cast, director, and production.  Many many laughs.  If you're anywhere east of Kansas please come see it.  Thanks.

The Red Hen incident

Recently Sarah Huckabee Sanders was kicked out of a Virginia restaurant for her role in defending Trump. This of course made all the news reports. 20 years ago when OJ Simpson was absurdly acquitted of murder there were any number of local restaurants who told him he wasn’t welcomed. And those that did allow him stay found many of their other patrons got up and left in protest.  I would have left in a heartbeat.  Very few, if any, of those incidents made it to national newscasts.

But it reminds me of a somewhat similar story about Nixon when he was president.

His western White House was an estate in San Clemente, California – a gorgeous beach community about halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. In nearby Newport Beach there was (and still is) a fantastic funky restaurant called The Crab Cooker. Fresh grilled seafood served on paper plates. Very informal. Reasonable prices. Free breadsticks. And no reservations. But one of the few places actually worth the wait.

One day, during Nixon’s presidency when Tricky was at the western White House, the owner of the Crab Cooker got a call saying the president would like to dine there that Saturday night. The owner was delighted and suggested he come around 5:30 so he wouldn’t have to wait long. The White House rep said, “You don’t understand. The president of the United States wants to dine in YOUR restaurant.” “Yes, that’s a great honor,” said the Crab Cooker owner, “but unfortunately we don’t take reservations. Have him come at 5:30. He’ll get right in.”

The White House person said, “Reservations? No. We want you to close the entire restaurant for the night so the president and his party can attend.” “What? Oh no, we don’t do that,” Mr. Crab Cooker said. So Nixon never ate at the Crab Cooker.

The Crab Cooker did not go public with that story but word of it leaked out. And business skyrocketed as a result – much more than any publicity had the president actually eaten there. 

Sometimes the fork and spoon are mightier than the sword.

EP78: From Russia with Laughs – International sitcoms and American reboots

Ken talks to Bill Diamond, a veteran writer/producer (WINGS, MURPHY BROWN) who has produced sitcoms in Russia.   It’s a crazy story. Ken & Bill also discuss reboots – specifically the new MURPHY BROWN and whether Ken thinks there will ever be a CHEERS reboot.

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

Open letter to MLB

Major League Baseball attendance has really plummeted. It’s now at the lowest average in the last fifteen years. There are lots of reasons given for this: bad weather, higher prices, length of games, too many games on television, or in the case of Los Angeles – too few games on television.

Allow me to offer another reason; one I’ve not heard anywhere else.

Today’s announcers are fucking boring.

They’re generic, they’re competent, they have pleasant voices, but they give the listener or viewer zero reason to want to tune in if the game itself isn’t important or meaningful. And face it, with 162 games a year, very few are really “important.” I love baseball, can watch it year round. But seriously, a single game the end of June? Who gives a shit who wins or loses? Even championship teams lose 60 games a year.

When I would tune into a Dodger game and find they were losing 10-0 I thought, “Goody! Vin Scully is going to fill the time with wonderful stories.  For the next hour he will keep me enthralled.” Now if the Dodgers are losing 5-0 – CLICK!

How important are announcers? Again, let’s look at the Dodgers. 70% of the market can’t get their telecasts. The only way 70% of the market can follow the games on a daily basis is over the radio. So you would expect the Dodger station would have enormous ratings. After all, we’re only a half-year from them being in the World Series. And when Vin Scully called Dodger games radio ratings were 40 shares or above – year after year – win or lose. Scully is gone. The Dodger radio station draws a 0.9. And attendance is way down so it’s not like everybody is just going to the park.  I'm sorry but that's horrifying. 

Announcers create loyalty. Announcers are a team’s best salesmen. But audiences need a reason to listen. It used to be that announcers had showmanship, distinctive styles and personalities. Fans would listen or watch games regardless of the score. I’m not saying the announcers should be bigger than the game or detract from the game, but Jesus, give us SOMETHING. Are teams so deathly afraid their announcers will God forbid say something that one fan might complain about? Fuck them. Even when fans HATE certain announcers they listen. God bless John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman of the Yankees – love ‘em or hate ‘em they’re unique and they draw a big audience. Have we forgotten the lessons of Harry Caray? Or Ernie Harwell? Or Jack Buck? Or Dave Niehaus? Or Bob Prince? Or Harry Kalas? Or Jerry Coleman?

I listen to a lot of announcers today and wonder – if you took away their laptops would they still be able to call the game? There is an ART to calling baseball – especially on the radio. You need to be a storyteller. You need a flair for the dramatic (and I don’t mean screaming home run calls). You need a sense of humor, you need to sprinkle in things other than baseball.

In fairness, there are some but very few who do this. People ask me who will be the next Vin Scully? My answer is always Jason Benetti of the White Sox. Don’t look now but he’s having fun. He’s making the game come alive. He’s giving a Shakespeare reference.

He makes you want to care about the White Sox – maybe enough that you’ll even come out to the ballpark. And it doesn’t cost your team $200 million for five years and Jason Benetti will never need Tommy John surgery.

Or does this just make too much sense to work?

Thanks to Mike Kinosian  for the following chart on flagship station ratings.

The new Mr. Rogers documentary -- My review

Full disclosure: I was not a fan of MR. ROGERS NEIGHBORHOOD when it aired. My kids watched it, but I found it oddly creepy. Fred Rogers seemed hypnotized. If felt more like MR. STEPFORD'S NEIGHBORHOOD.  So I can honestly say I went into WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR? – the documentary on Mr. Rogers without an ounce of nostalgia. I went because a number of people I respect recommended it. And what else was I going to watch? SUPERFLY? (How could it POSSIBLY be better than the original?)

I am now one of those people recommending WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?

What a wonderful and touching profile of a man who it turns out was absolutely genuine and sincere. His love of children and their well-being is so poignant. And unlike Walt Disney, he didn’t parlay his relationship with children into a multi-billion dollar monolith. Fred Rogers never got rich on merchandise and his “neighborhood” never became an amusement park in Florida. You never saw five-year-olds wearing Mr. Rogers sweaters to school.

What you did see was a broadcast pioneer. His show was unlike any children’s show before it and he himself was an original. No funny hats, no clown suits, no garish costumes. Just a kind soul communicating one-to-one to children who need all the love and attention and support they can receive.

I still would have a tough time watching one of his shows all the way through, but I sure appreciate them more now. I also appreciate that he tackled serious subjects. He dealt with the Robert Kennedy assassination the first week he was on the air. Later he dealt with race issues, death, divorce, self-esteem – not exactly Bozo the Clown introducing Popeye cartoons.

The documentary also delves with the insane push-back he received from certain quarters. There are those who blame him for Millennial behavior because he had the audacity of telling every child he was special. And even at his funeral we see horrifying protests that looking back are the seeds of hate and stupidity that we now call Trump supporters.

Especially in light of children being separated from their families and detained, this documentary is even more heartbreaking. Can you imagine if Fred Rogers were still alive to witness this? How he would weep.

I hope this movie is playing in your neighborhood. Go see it. And hug your child.

RIP Dan Ingram

Dan Ingram has died.  And I'm devastated.  He was 83. You know I come from a radio background and have admired many spectacularly talented disc jockeys from the great era of Top 40. Dan Ingram was my all-time favorite. And I didn’t even live in New York.

For almost 22 years Dan Ingram was the top rated jock on 77WABC in New York. Since the station had such a huge signal he was also a top rated jock in other markets such as Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. He later worked on other New York outlets including WCBS-FM.

I first heard Dan in the mid ‘60s. Growing up in Los Angeles I knew of WABC but had never heard them. So I wrote a letter to the station asking for a sample of their programming. They sent a one-hour tape of a recent Dan Ingram show. Within ten minutes my head almost exploded. This guy was so funny, so quick, so fearless (he often goofed on commercials and the music), had such a great voice, precision timing weaving his content into the intro of records, and somehow managed to communicate as if he were talking only to me. I had heard some great disc jockeys. The Real Don Steele, Robert W. Morgan, Larry Lujack, Gary Owens, Don McKinnon, but I’m sorry, Dan Ingram was the best. He said more funny things in one hour (and all off the cuff) than anyone else did in a week. And he continued doing that for almost fifty years. It’s utterly mind-boggling.  And if you thought he was funny on the air -- when he turned that mic off that's when the real hilarity took place. 

I’ll bet if you grew up on the East Coast you too are crying right now.

More than just a deejay, Dan was a “broadcaster.” During the famous Northeast Blackout of  November 1965 Ingram drove to the station’s transmitter in Lodi, New Jersey and stayed on the air for eleven hours via a generator anchoring coverage of the emergency.

We met thanks to mutual friend, Jon Wolfert, and I stayed close to Dan for 40 years. We’d get together for dinner whenever my wife and I were in New York or when he and his wife were in Los Angeles. I had a reading in New York of a screenplay I had written and got Dan to read the stage directions. Forget hearing actors playing the parts, I was blown away that Dan Ingram was actually reading words I had written. That’s like Vladimir Horowitz playing a little ditty you had banged out.

Dan also did thousands of national commercials. I once said to him I hear his voice on spots in LA but no one else knows who he is, and he said, “When I walk out of the building I don’t want people saying ‘Hey, there goes Dan Ingram,’ I want them saying ‘Hey, who is that guy getting into a Rolls?”

Here’s a sample of Dan Ingram on the radio, thanks for friend-of-the-blog, Howard Hoffman.



His favorite moment in broadcasting was when he received a fan letter from a young girl who was about to commit suicide. She was listening to Dan, he said something that made her laugh, and that snapped her out of her deep depression. If she could still find things funny she still had things to live for. She thanked Dan for saving her life.

Dan has shaped many lives, gotten generations through tough times, adolescence, power failures, and personal struggles. To me he was an inspiration. And a mentor. For fifty years Dan has kept me in awe… and in stitches. My love and prayers to his family and millions of fans.

People on the radio are invisible. Their presence is in the air. Dan may have passed but that presence, the sound of his voice, and the joy he brought to our lives will stay with us forever. And will go with us wherever we are. That’s the true magic of radio. And Dan Ingram.

Slipping inside jokes into shows

A reader’s question will sometimes spark an entire post and that’s the case today. Richard Y. wanted to know about inside references and jokes writers slip into shows. Did we do it on purpose? How often did we do it, etc.? He perceptively noticed that on an episode of WINGS, Steven Weber walks by a magazine rack that features an ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY with his likeness and real name on the cover.

Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone but I’d imagine that all writers slip these little nuggets in from time to time. What good is writing a show for 30,000,000 people if you can’t have a joke or two aimed at only six?

In some cases, writers do this to reward the audience for paying strict attention. I think LOST did that 500 times an episode. There are historical, literate, and spiritual references galore. We didn’t do that on ALMOST PERFECT. But any time Nancy Travis or any character was watching TV they were always watching CHEERS.

Hey, I’ll be honest. We do it for our own amusement. We do it because we can.

There’s a very famous episode of BIG WAVE DAVE’S where Adam Arkin keeps commuting back and forth between Hawaii and Chicago. I’m sure you know the one I’m talking about. Well, we show him on a plane four or five times and every time he’s reading my book, “It’s Gone…No, Wait a Minute!” (This did not result in the huge spike in sales I was counting on, however.)

Animated shows are perfect vehicles for slipping in private jokes. The “Dancin’ Homer” episode of THE SIMPSONS that David Isaacs and I wrote is chock-full of names of actual people I encountered broadcasting baseball in the minor leagues. I play the Springfield Isotopes announcer, “Dan Hoard”. Dan was my partner in Syracuse and is a prominent sportscaster today.

There are often cartoon character likenesses of the writers that show up in THE SIMPSONS and FAMILY GUY. You’d think they’d be more flattering.

It’s always a pain-in-the-ass coming up with names for characters. But this is an ideal way to slip in names of people you know. A lot of my former girlfriends show up as nurses on MASH. One became Charles’ sister, “Honoria”. Yes, I went out with a Honoria. It seems that anytime 24 needed a villain who wasn’t Russian or Persian (so that means twice in nine years) they used the name of a Fox network or studio executive.

Growing up, our family dog was named Babette. My mother named her. Can’t say I was ever crazy about the name. So in an episode of MASH that we wrote, Radar loses his hamster, which he named Babette. Then throughout the show everyone gave him a raft of shit for naming her that. After the episode aired my mom called and said, “Very funny.” But again, what’s the point of producing a primetime network television show if you can’t use it expressly to needle your mother?

Anytime I directed a show and there was a scene in a nice restaurant my dad became the maitre ‘d. That turned into a regular gig on ALMOST PERFECT when the show got picked up and “Annie’s” (named for my daughter) became a permanent set.

I used to love in MAD magazine there were sometimes cartoon panels that were just loaded with little bonus gags in the margins and background. Let’s just say there’s a lot of MAD in MASH.

What words kan't you spell?

Thank God for spellcheck. There are some words I just can’t spell. For whatever reason my brain refuses to learn the correct spelling of a few words – words that are fairly common and you dear readers have no problem with at all.

One is jeopardy. Even as I typed it just now the squiggly red line appeared underneath. I keep putting a’s where there should be o’s or o’s where there should be a’s. And again, it’s not an obscure word. I watch the TV show all the time. The word is displayed in giant letters.

Another is privilege. I don’t even come close on this word. At any given time I may write privlige, priviledge, priveledge, privlige, privelige. None of these look any more wrong that the actual spelling.

For a long time I wrestled with guarantee. Somehow I mastered it. And I’m afraid to list the ways I misspelled it for fear that that will confuse me again and I’ll be back at square one.

In the case of pigeon, I want to always write pidgeon. And don’t get me started on pidgin.

I’d like to think I’m not alone in this brain cramp. So let me ask you – what are words that you can’t spell?

Imagine losing the final round of the National Spelling Bee over jeopardy?

Friday Questions

Summer is officially here. So are Friday Questions.

Don Rosnel starts us off.

When he first joined Cheers, could you foresee Woody Harrelson’s future?

Honestly? No. Not that he wasn’t a terrific actor, but I will say this – he deserves all the success he’s received. He has great range, is so likeable, and I’m personally happy for him because he’s such a good person.

From Gary:

An old sitcom staple is for one character to believe he or she is a talented writer, and could be a great success at it. But when you hear a sample of what they've written, of course it is hilariously bad. The DICK VAN DYKE SHOW did this with Laura taking a night course in creative writing, and so did THE ODD COUPLE with Felix writing a series of terrible poems.

My question is, have you ever had to write something into an episode that is intentionally bad, as if done by an amateur? And for a professional writer is it easier or harder to write something that is supposed to sound bad?

Yes. The second episode of MASH we ever wrote was called “The Most Unforgettable Characters” and in it Radar took a correspondence writing course. It was great fun writing badly.

By the way, that DICK VAN DYKE episode you referenced is one of my favorite. Written by the great Garry Marshall & Jerry Belson.

From Robert Foreman:

Have you ever done any writing for advertising? Is that considered a whole different world? Is there much crossover from advertising writing to television and vice-versa?

I once applied to J. Walter Thompson and submitted some copywriting, but fortunately for me I was rejected. It is a different world.

A few noted comedy writers have come from the Mad Men ranks. Three off the top of my head are Howard Gould, Allan Katz, and Steve Gordon.

Karan G. wonders:

Can you think of serendipitous moments in your career….right place, right time….the universe giving you a helping hand? (As an example: In the 1950’s, the conservative New York Times book reviewer would never have selected Jack Kerouac’s first novel to review. As it happens, the reviewer went on vacation, and a more liberal leaning substitute selected the book and gave it a great review, displeasing the main book reviewer, who never allowed the substitute to review again. Nevertheless, Kerouac’s writing career was well underway……..serendipity.)

Too many to count. Meeting David Isaacs, my mother playing golf one day with the Story Editor of THE JEFFERSONS, the showrunner of MASH looking for young writers just when we were available.

Even having to serve in the army. I never would have met David nor could I have ever really written MASH with any authority if I didn’t have that personal experience in the military.

So many times the stars have to line up, and sometimes you don’t think they’re lucky stars but they are. 

What’s your Friday Question?

Something I need to say

Sorry. Nothing funny today.  There IS nothing funny today. 

It is utterly incomprehensible to me that anyone, regardless of political leanings, could support this truly despicable practice of separating children from families. At what point does compassion and simple human decency supersede politics?

These are not terrorists. These are CHILDREN. My God!

Seriously, if in fact you do condone this barbaric practice that goes against everything America and DECENT human beings stand for, please go away.  I mean it.  Please stop reading this blog. If you’re a friend on Facebook please unfriend me. Stop following me on Twitter. If you comment in support of caging innocent children I’ll delete your comment and ban you for life. (I also don't want you guys turning on each other, so no name calling.  Thanks.)

You just can’t believe how furious I am. And heartbroken.

What has this fucking world come to? I would never have believed something like this could ever happen in the United States. And furthermore, I can’t fathom why everybody, 100% of the population isn’t outraged by this, isn’t completely up in arms. This isn’t a debate about school vouchers or how much of the budget should go to defense – this is the most shameful detestable policy this country has ever had.

And FUCK YOU FOX NEWS for trying to sell this atrocity to gullible idiots. Yeah, your family is going to be so much safer when toddlers are rounded up. May all the FOX NEWS commentators who spoke out in support of it rot in hell for eternity and beyond.

Here’s something you probably thought you’d never see in this blog – God bless Seth MacFarlane. He was the first showrunner to speak out against FOX. Also kudos to Steve Levitan.

People, it’s time to take our country back. Step one is being a caring loving human being. And if you’re not, please go away – forever.

EP77: How do you know if something is funny?

Ken discusses how top comedy writers determine whether things are funny or not, and offers some helpful tips on how to make your writing and content much funnier. It’s another behind-the-scenes look at Hollywood… and Broadway.

Listen to the Hollywood & Levine podcast!

INCREDIBLES 2: My review

Those of us who loved THE INCREDIBLES had to wait 14 years for the sequel. It was worth the wait. Even if it had been 15 years (16 might’ve been stretching it). But the sequel is incredible too.

Having the same creative voice writing and directing was a huge factor. I’m in awe of Brad Bird. How can one person be that great a writer AND animator? INCREDIBLES 2 is visually stunning, there’s fun at every turn, and none of the superheroes brood!

Since THE INCREDIBLES is my all-time favorite animated movie (sorry RAINBOW BRITE), it was hard for the sequel to live up to the original. But it’s certainly risen to my top five. The story itself is similar in structure to the original but there are enough surprises and new elements that you don’t feel you’re watching ROCKY VII.  And no songs!  Yay!

INCREDIBES 2 sure spoiled me for superhero movies. You can pair the Avengers with the Justice League of America and the X-Men and I’d still yawn at this point.

Now let me save you some angst. You’ll be watching a new character, Evelyn Deavor and go nuts trying to guess who does the voice. It’s Catherine Keener. You’re welcome.

Another thing I loved:  In the closing credits, all of the animators and other department heads got billing before the actors.   That Pixar animation team WERE the stars.  

I’ll be seeing INCREDIBLES 2 again. There’s so much going on and the pace really moves so I’m sure there are more things I’ll pick up that I missed upon the first viewing. Contrast that with the new AVENGERS movie. You couldn’t pay me to sit through that exercise in excess again.

I don’t want to hype INCREDIBLES 2 too much because there’s always the danger you might go, “Huh? He loved THIS?” But it’s well worth seeing. Several times even.

What did you guys think? 

My Top 8 performers of SNL

Been watching the new David Letterman Netflix interview series, GRIZZLY ADAMS & GUESTS and quite enjoyed the episode featuring Tina Fey. (Can I stop a moment to confess I LOVE Tina Fey? Going to New York this week and already have my tickets for her MEAN GIRLS musical.) Anyway, the episode is well worth seeing.

At one point Dave asks her to name her all-time top eight performers of SNL. Considering the enormous talent pool from the 156 years it's been on the air I thought that’s a Herculean challenge. So I decided to name mine. You’re welcome to name yours.

Narrowing it down to eight was tough. There are at least that many or more who could easily replace the ones I picked. But here they are:

John Belushi
Kate McKinnon
Will Ferrell
Gilda Radner
Eddie Murphy
Phil Hartman
Tina Fey
Bill Murray

Tina included Maya Rudolph, Jan Hooks, and I think Amy Poehler. I only watched once and was too lazy to go back and double-check.

I imagine it’s like popular music. Just as people tend to prefer the music they grew up with I suspect there’s a greater affection for the cast you watched when you first got hooked on SNL. Your lists will be a good test of that theory.

Thanks for playing and unless you pick Ann Risley there are no wrong answers.

On the road again

When Romcoms Go Bad

Just back from a couple of weeks in New York, Cleveland, and Grand Rapids – the typical east coast swing. In no particular order, here are some observations and thoughts along the way.

NEW YORK

No, I did not see CAROUSEL. I know it’s a classic but I hate CAROUSEL.

Unless you want to spend a fortune, see plays that are 8 hours long (but worth it) or musical adaptations of movies, there’s not a lot on Broadway these days.

That said, do see THE BAND’S VISIT. It just won the Tony for Best Musical and proves that heart and characters can beat out glitzy LED sets and overblown production numbers.

Had dinner with Broadway Bill Lee from CBS-FM, one of the last actual disc jockeys with personality. Keep the flame lit, Bill.

Everybody on the subway is checking their phone. Even the crazy people.

With Uber and Lyft the traffic is even worse in Manhattan, if that's possible.

Ocean Prime on 52nd St. – my best meal in New York. Better even then the Original Ray’s First Ray’s Only Real Ray’s pizza.

Thanks to the Gallery Players Theatre in Brooklyn for including my play, WHEN ROMCOMS GO BAD in their outstanding festival. I participated in a talkback after the Sunday performance and when asked what I was doing next I said, “I have to catch the F-Train for Rockefeller Center by 7. I’m nominated for a Tony.”

June is the month to go to New York. You can walk everywhere and eat outside.

Every building in Manhattan has scaffolding.

Certainly a highlight for me was getting lunch with Rob Long. Rob is a terrific writer/producer/commentator and does the preeminent entertainment podcast MARTINI SHOT on KCRW, Los Angeles. We went to the Union Square Café without a reservation at 1:00. The place was hopping. We thought we might have to eat at the bar. But we went up to the host stand to try our luck. The host looked up and said, “Ken Levine! Ohmygod! I’ve been reading your blog for years!” We got a table and this gentleman made my entire trip.

My daughter Annie and her husband Jon were in New York to move out of their Long Island apartment back to Los Angeles. They are driving back to LA even as you read. Since I planned to be in Grand Rapids, Michigan this past weekend to see my play OUR TIME they offered to give me a ride on the way. Thus began a four-day road trip that was great great fun.

CLEVELAND

Got there around 4:00 after a long day of driving through Pennsylvania and hitting construction every 30 miles.

Cleveland was fantastic. The weather was actually “nice.” Whenever I went to Cleveland with the Mariners or Orioles it was either snowing, raining, or a 1000 degrees with a million tiny swarming bugs called Midges. Wait, that’s not true. One trip with the Mariners we had a gorgeous day. But during the game there was an earthquake.

Last Thursday night was ideal. We of course hit the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. So much to see including Taylor Swift’s two piece chandelier dress.

At the gift shop (of course the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame had a gift shop) the clerk asked why I had come to Cleveland. I said for the R&R HOF. “Why else do people go to Cleveland?” I asked. “For the sports,” she said, “And our hospital.” Now Cleveland does have one of the premier Cardiac hospitals in the world, still – a “hospital” seems like an odd third most popular attraction.

People were walking and eating outside in Cleveland too.

Mabel’s BBQ – pork ribs almost as good as Gates BBQ in KC.  And it might explain the need for the hospital. 

We left Cleveland on Friday morning.  LeBron will not be far behind.

GRAND RAPIDS

Driving through Michigan and Ohio I’ve never seen so many billboards for fireworks… or rifles.

Grand Rapids is known for making office furniture and was the boyhood home of President Gerald Ford. There’s a Gerald Ford Museum, which we didn’t see since no Taylor Swift costumes were on display.

Our Time

My play OUR TIME is at the Lowell Arts Theatre in picturesque Lowell. There’s a river and even a paddleboat. Both Friday and Saturday nights were sold out and both performances played great. My thanks to Brent Ailes, the cast and crew for really doing my play proud. It’s on again this weekend. If you’re in the area, you like to laugh, and you’ve already purchased your fireworks, swing by. Here’s where you go for info.

Annie & Jon continue their drive west and I flew home yesterday. Had to change planes at O’Hare. I got in my 10,000 steps and then some. Why does United put their video controls on the armrests right where you put your elbows? So to avoid changing my seat mate’s channels every five seconds I had to sit with my arms pulled in, thus feeling really squished into the seat.

Also, why do people in window seats keep the windows closed the entire time? I can understand when you want the cabin dark to see movies better or sleep, but in the middle of the day – especially right after takeoff and right before landing – I never get over the thrill of being in the air and seeing cities from above. You pay big money to simulate that at amusement parks. It seems weird that people are so blasé that they’d rather close the window and play video games on their phones.

Now I’m home and the best part of yesterday was gaining three hours. So my Father’s Day was 27 hours. As it should be.