Traci Lords called me an A**hole

I think I’ve reached my pinnacle as a blogger!

Traci Lords on her Twitter page called me an asshole for an article I wrote about her (a TRUE article by the way). I was getting back at her because I wasn’t “good enough”. Oooh, I feel so..so inadequate.

Stepping on toes unfortunately comes with the territory, especially if you’re a humor blog. As Larry Gelbart once said:

“If what you're writing isn't likely to offend or annoy anyone at all, go back and start again.”

I do have rules however. I never try to be malicious or just hurl a gratuitous shot. I once read a review about a show set in Hawaii and out of nowhere the guy rips BIG WAVE DAVE’S, which had been off the air for ten years. Or in the Baltimore Sun very positive review of ALMOST PERFECT the critic says. “Levine is as good a writer as he is a bad sportscaster”. Ouch!

So I try to be a fair and an equal-opportunity sniper.

Sometimes the objects of my ribbing get in touch. Diana DeGarmo’s mother was quite incensed over a piece I wrote about stage parents. We traded emails and actually developed a mutual respect. (I would not recommend this as way of meeting new friends however.) Writer Paul Haggis rebutted something I had said and we became picket line buddies.

Side note to WGA members: Remember all those close relationships you made walking the line every day. How many of them do you still stay in touch with? I owe about six lovely people a call.

Thanks to the LA TIMES misconstruing something I said about Aaron Sorkin’s show STUDIO 60 he came out and blasted me in the paper. But that too got all smoothed over, and Aaron I greatly appreciate the note.

I don’t think I’ll be getting a similar note from Katherine Heigl anytime soon. Or her fans.

The feedback and comments I receive are always fascinating. I usually leave them up, even if they’re unflattering, as long as the dear reader doesn’t hide behind anonymity. An exception to this was when I made one negative passing reference to Opie & Anthony and was flooded with the most vile hate mail ever received. Death threats are not constructive criticism. The Katherine Heigl throng just called me a no-talent blithering idiot. Oh, and one person said I was ugly.

Ironically, I got a tremendous amount of hate mail once for saying nice things about a person – Patty Heaton.

Perception is often the key. I’ve been posting humorous travelogues whenever I stray from home. Vegas, Milwaukee, New York, London, Chicago, Hawaii, Seattle, Dallas, Cincinnati, Palm Springs – lots of places. Never have I received a complaint. But one reporter saw my recent Denver piece and decided I hate Denver (which couldn’t be farther from the truth) and suddenly I’m getting all these irate missives from Denver folks. Jeez, I’m MUCH harder on Los Angeles and I live here.

I do try to stay away from political pieces. Those I now save for the Huffington Post. But just before the 2006 election Larry Gelbart asked me to post a political piece he had written. I was thrilled to be able to do him a favor (plus we shared the same political views). Holy crap! Did that cause a firestorm. Tons of angry readers. The interesting thing is that several said they were never coming back to this blog. And within a month they all were back, commenting as usual.

There have been times I have changed things if I felt I was unjustly attacking somebody or was out of line. But the Traci Lords article – I stand by it.

Again, criticism is an occupational hazard of comedy. I just hope I make you laugh more than I make you want to kill me.