Friday, October 27, 2006

From the pen of Larry Gelbart

Larry Gelbart (brilliant writer of MASH, TOOTSIE, OH GOD, FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM, SLY FOX, CITY OF ANGELS, etc.) just emailed me this and I wanted to pass it on. You're welcome to do the same.

Ken

***********

For Election Day – Lest We Forget


Iraq
Iraq
Iraq
Abu Ghraib
Guantanamo
Evil Doers
Evil Do Gooders
Terrormercials
Outsourcing Jobs
OutsourcingTorture
Quitting International Criminal Court
The Kyoto Protocol
The Geneva Conventions
Leaving Habeas Corpus for Dead
Civil War Abroad
Uncivil War at Home
Sound Bites
Unsound Policies
Unremorseful
Unregretful
Unrepentant
The Middle East Mess
The Middle Class Collapse
Predictably Unprepared
Perpetually Unequipped
Unmatched Ignorance
Unbridled Arrogance
Unwarranted Phone Taps
Unprecedented Powers
Compassionate Imperialism
Faith-Based Fascism
Total Dicktatorship
700 Club
700 Mile Border Fence
Over 700 Presidential Signing Statements
Unmatched Incompetence
Unparalleled Corruption
Ethic Cleansing
Governor Bob Taft
Governor John Rowland
Governor Bill Janklow
Oversight
Overlook
Stuff Happens
Stuffed Shirts
Tailored Suits
Tailored Stories
24/7 Spin Cycle
Executive Privilege
Privileged Executives
Wordsmiths
Warsmiths
Surrogate Samurais
Draft Dodging Doges
Potomac Pattons
A Coven of the Craven
Representative Tom Delay
Representative Roy Blunt
Representative Ken Calvert
Representative John Doolittle
Representative Jean Schmidt
Representative Jim Gibbons
Representative Tom Feeney
Representative Patrick McHenry
Representative Christopher Shays
Representative Katherine Harris
Representative Barbara Cubin
Representative Joe Barton
Representative Jerry Lewis
Representative Gary Miller
Representative Marilyn Musgrave
Representative Richard Pombo
Representative Rick Renzi
Representative John Sweeney
Representative Charles Taylor
Representative Curt Weldon
Representative J.D. Hayworth
Representative Don Sherwood
Representative John Patterson
Representative Rodney Alexander
Representative Roy LaHood
Representative Bob Beauprez
Representative Bob Ney
Representative Randy Cunningham
Representative Chris Cannon
Jeff Gannon
Representative Mark Foley
Representative Dennis Hastert
Representative Jim Kolbe
Representative John Shimkus
Representative Tom Reynolds
Over Paid
Over Reaching
Over Logging
Under Armored
Under Suspicion
Beneath Contempt
Senator Bill Frist
Senator George Allen
Senator Conrad Burns
Senator Joe Lieberman
Senator Rick Santorum
Senator Trent Lott
Senator James Inhofe
Senator Pat Roberts
Senator Sam Brownback
Rubber Stamps
Robber Barons
Senator Larry Craig
Craig Schelske
Ken Blackwell
Lester Crawford
Crawford, Texas
Brian Bilbray
Margaret Spellings
Media Consolidation
Homophobia on the Range
Fearmongering
Smearslinging
The RNC
The DNC (Do Nothing Congress)
DC (Dutifully Corporate)
Family Valuables
The Far Wrong
The Far Righteous
Reverend Jerry Falwell
Reverend Pat Robertson
Reverend James Dobson
Reverend Lou Sheldon
Ralph Reed
Gary Bauer
David Safavian
Vice Presidential Energy Task Force
Seventy Dollars a Barrel
Three Bucks a Gallon
Record Oil Company Profits
Anwar Pipeline
Anbar Province
Arthur Anderson
ABB
Adelphia Communications
Merck
Eli Lilly
Mirant
AOL Time Warner
Kmart
Bristol-Myers Squibb
CMS Energy
Duke Energy
Nicor Energy
Reliant Energy
Dynegy
Peregrine Systems
Homestore.com
Xerox
Qwest
Tyco
WorldCom
Global Crossing
Global Warming
Global Boiling
Lee Raymond
Exxon
Enron
Abramoff
Tribe Bribes
Mike Scanlon
Grover Norquist
War Profiteers
War Privateers
Halliburton
Bechtel
Blackwater
CACI
Titan
Carlyle Group
Custer Battles
Kellogg, Brown & Root
George Tenet
Unanswered Questions
Questionable Answers
Adam Kidan
Timothy Flanigan
Lawrence Lindsay
Jessica Lynch
Jim Ellis
John Colyandro
Donald Keyser
Peter Roskam
Katherine Gun
Garrett Lott
Armstrong Williams
Talking Points
Pointless Talking
Chuck McGee
James Tobin
Thomas Scully
Kenneth Tomlinson
Allen Raymond
Claude Allen
Katrina
Rita
Harriet (Miers)
FEMA
FISA
NSA
Cut and Run
Run on Cuts
Bring It On
Dead Or Alive
Terri Schiavo
Bill Frist, MD
John Bolton
Diebold
Florida, 2000
Ohio, 2004
North Korea 2006
Selective Diplomacy
Preemptive War
Iraq.
Iran?
Sleeper Cells
Stem Cell Research
Darfur
Dubai Ports World
Swift Boat Hit Men
Max Cleland
Douglas Feith
Mumming the Press
Dumbing the Proles
Roger Ailes
Sean Hannity
Bill O’Reilly
Fred Barnes
Morton Kondracke
Brit Hume
John Gibson
Ann Coulter
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin
Glenn Beck
Neil Cavuto
Neal Boortz
Neil Bush (No Brother Left Behind)
Rush Limbaugh
David Frum
David Horowitz
Golden Parachutes
Shrunken Pensions
Sunken Bipartisanship
Bernie Kerik
Eminent Domain
J. Steven Griles
Numerous Convictions
Occasional Confessions
Social Security Privatization
Abrupt Resignations
Porter Goss
Dusty Foggo
Zero Accountability
Even Less Credibility
Michael Chertoff
Homeland Insecurity
Ahmad Chalabi
Baghdad Museum
Tora Bora
Taliban Resurgence
Iraqi Insurgents
General William Boykin
General Eric Shinseki
General Janet Karpinski
General Ricardo Sanchez
General Anthony Zinni
Mission Accomplished
Lawbreaking Lawmakers
Impeachable Sources
Suppressed Medicare Costs
The Donut Hole
Intelligent Design
Intelligence Failures
Ari Fleischer
Scott McClellan
Tony Snow
Tony Perkins
Tony Rudy
Tony Blankley
Tony Blair
Downing Street Memo
The Late Great Britain
Ken Mehlman
Dennis Prager
Wayne Simmons
Frank Gaffney
Expiration of Assault Weapons Ban
John Ashcroft
Alberto Gonzales
Alberto Fernandez
Danny Diaz
William Bennett
Stephen Hadley
Karen Hughes
Bunnatine Greenhouse
Richard Grasso
Brian Doyle
Thomas Noe
Ted Van Der Meid
Tan Nguyen
Michael Gerson
Michael Medved
Michael Reagan
Michael Maloof
Michael Savage
Aluminum Tubes
Rice
Yellowcake
Niger
Valerie Plame
Joseph Wilson
Scooter Libby
Robert Novak
Richard Armitage
Brent Bozell III
Paul Bremer III
Gulf II
Non-Regime-Changing Regime Changers
Neoconmen
Ex-Non-Vet Vulcans
Playing to an Enraptured Audience
Armageddon Uber Alles
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Perle
David Wormser
Elliott Abrams
James Woolsey
Zalmay Khalizad
William Kristol
The Coalition of the Dwindling
Staining the Course
WMD (W’s Mass Denials)
Mad Cowboy Disease
Mad Cowhands Disease
Kissinger Redux
Duck Cheney
Rumbo
Blossom (the Turd)
George (the Fourth):Son of a Higher Father; Uniter, Decider, Flatulater; Reader of at least three Shakespeares, Camus’ “The Stranger” and “The Pet Goat;”
Prematurely discharged National Air Guardsman, missing in inaction, who describes members of the political party that successfully prosecuted two world wars as quitters.
Billions Missing in Iraq
Trillions Missing in D.C.
Missing Limbs
Missed Lives
Iraq
Iraq
Iraq

On to ’08 ...

68 comments:

Jules said...

Please indulge a gentle Conservative rebuttal:

Nancy Pelosi.

Great Big Radio Guy said...

Amazing how the cons are so afraid of a girl.

oldgringo said...

Pelosi does not advocate torture as being an acceptable part of American behavior, nor is she a rubber stamp warmongering contributor to war crimes, and crimes against humanity, and has nothing in common with Gingrich, Blunt, Hastert, DeLay, or any of the rest of the George Bush Fascist Cabal which includes such luminaries as Joe Lieberman, Boner, Allen Pat Roberts, Hoeckstra, and many more "representatives of the people" who append an "R" behind their names! Refer to the subject list of this post.

shtove said...

Favourite one: Dicktatorship.

I didn't see anything about insulting the French to get a cheap laugh - or is that still a national sport in the US?

Benton Harbor said...

It's Ray LaHood, not Roy. If Gelbart is airing his laundry list, he should at least get the name right. Perhaps people Gelbart should talk to the people in LaHood's district to see how they feel about him.

And I thought your blog was above the fray.

Lady said...

The mere thought of Nancy Pelosi is torture..
I could sum up the OTHER SIDE in three words:

DUMB AND STUPID...

Now I know why I never liked MASH!!

Robert said...

Excellent list, Ken, thank you.

The first ten items on the list alone far oustrip any possible rebuttal.

Joshua James said...

Has Pelosi been convicte or indicted of anything? Has she violated the Fourth Amendment and lied about it? Did she suspend habeus corpes and take away american citizen's civil rights guaranteed by the constitution? Does she even have any power? YOu can not like her if you like, but don't pretend she's done anything terrible other than criticize a real corrupt administration.

Please. Jules. Please.

Anonymous. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Dem's don't support any of the things you list, anon, those are simply the things the neo-con's SAY dem's stand for.

but it's a lie. Just like when he said, "I never said stay the course." It's a fucking lie and you should be ashamed.

YOu must be, anon, because you didn't sign your name.

Keep that bullshit out of new york, you come here talking neo-con shit like that, you're gonna get smacked.

BrianScully said...

Please add:

Pronouncing "Nuclear" as "Nucular"

Overusing the word "Comprehensive" and not knowing it's meaning.

And for President Bush now having been responsible for the deaths of almost as many American soldiers in Iraq as Osama Bin Laden was responsible for the deaths of American citizens on 9/11. Mr. President, American soldiers are American citizens too.

Charlie Kennedy said...

Amazing how the cons can't write comedy.

Robert Hogan said...

Another great reason to appreciate Larry Gelbart. And I'm a conservative.

benson said...

What does all this prove? A pox on both houses! Both sides are horrible.
Both sides are hypocritical. Both sides are more committed to their own agendas than doing good. And besides, no one can agree on what "good" is.

I'm probably butchering the quote from Jon Stewart, but I believe he said it best....Politics is run by extremists on both sides, because the middle is too busy with doing shit.

Mustang Bobby said...

Great list, and the tightie-righties can't do anything to defend themselves except act like kids in the sandbox.

They like to call the Democrats "the nanny party" as some kind of put-down, but apparently we need one to watch over the Republicans.

jim treacher said...

Listmaking

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Anonymous:

It's sad that you think politics has nothing to do with writing.

It's sad that you would even try to equate Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Andrew...actually, it was a bit funny.

Cut and Run is not a strategy. It's a sound bite that was invented by the people in power. Try and notice that I didn't say, "The Republicans". What's going on now has little to do with a specific political party. All Republicans aren't evil idiots. Just the ones in charge right now.

Anonymous, I don't think you're an idiot because you're a Republican. I think you're an idiot because you make idiotic statements. There's a difference.

50 years from now Bush's term in office will be in school text books and his administration will be remembered as folktale. 50 years from now it will be hard for a teenager to accept all the things that Bush has done simply because it'll seem unreal, fascist, and completely UnAmerican.

Bush destroyed the America that I love. Yes, we've always been flawed and no, we're not perfect. But this is the first time I feel like my life is in danger because of a sitting President.

Thank you Larry Gelbart.

--Tenspeed

Jell Sanchez said...

Am I crazy or did he forget the best one of all: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?

Mike Barer said...

I think that was an excellent post. You neo cons, this congress won't even hold the President accountable to the same rules that you overzealously prosecuted President Clinton.

Richard Jensen said...

Ken:
Great list. Thank Mr. Gelbart for us. By the way, I tookl the liberity of posting the link on my blog. (It's a MySpace blog but still, every little bit helps.) Also I have to pass along a favorite Gelbart moment.
Gelbart's a panelist on Bill Maher's "Politically Incorrect" and he's sitting next to this Christian woman (Who's name I'm blanking on. Sorry.) who's saying how strip clubs encourage rape. And she describes how men walk out of these clubs "With hormones coming out of their eyeballs".
Without missing a beat, Gelbart responds "Honey, that's not where they come out".
I can only aspire to that kind of rapid response.

VP19 said...

Let's see what happens for 2008. I'm a liberal, but I'm afraid we'll end up with a Clinton-Obama ticket. And while I would have no objection to a female or black president, to me it's too much "meet the new boss, same as the old boss" if they're both Ivy League lawyers, of whom we frankly have too many running the country -- liberal and conservative, Democrat and Republican.

VOTER said...

Scoreboard, bitches! The silent majority keeps speaking on election day. But Benson is right, both sides are wrong and their followers silly for following so blindly.

Greg said...

Actually, Joshua, Nancy Pelosi has done none ANY of the things you mentioned -- she can't, because the citizens of this country have wisely kept her and her like-minded friends out of power for the last 12 years.

... and God-willing, another 12.

P.S., if anyone reading this board has actually suffered from having any of these oft-mentioned "rights" taken away, please let us know. Yep, even one. Anyone? Hello?

JSW said...

Um... oldgringo... The Nancy Pelosi rebuttal was said with a bit of a wink. If I wanted to get into a deeper discussion, I'd post comments on Salon.

Anonymous said...

And yes, I know I made a typo in the previous post -- chalk it up to Conservative idiocy...

JOHN LEADER said...

I always thought of Larry Gelbart as clever and funny.
Apparently now, like my 92-year-old father-in-law, he's become opinionated and long-winded.
Okay, Larry, we get it. You're a liberal democrat. It only took four words to say it.
Bush, Clinton, Gore, Kerry, Obama, Pelosi? It's the "usual suspects" and it won't make a bit of difference in the long-run. Sadly.

david o'hara said...

Did Larry leave out:
Sadam no longer in power. The insurgents are terrified of democracy invading their backward countries.

How can any woman be infavor of cutting and running from Afganistan where all the women were living in slavery?

We had far more loses in the Civil War. How many Americans would have favored the North cutting and running back then. How many blacks?

Don't anybody tell me there's no comparrison. There are always comparrisons - history repeats its self - always.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David O'Hara:

Comparing the Civil War to the War in Iraq is like comparing a Toilet Seat to Apple Pie.

Do you have any idea of what's going on in the world? Seriously. That's an honest question.

When I read comments like yours I imagine that it probably sounds like the people who believed that the world was flat.

Democracy is a very good thing. It also has nothing to do with Iraq. And wouldn't it be nice...no, interesting if anyone had some sort of clue about what the belief system was in Iraq? If you really want to know what we're doing in Iraq, you should watch Star Trek: First Contact.

Here's a hint: We're the Borg's.

--Tenspeed

Douglas McEwan said...

Ken
Gee, it seems everyone wants to jump down your throat when you post any opinion beyond "STUDIO 60 sucks". Last I heard, this was your blog for your thoughts.
I loved Larry's email, and batch-sent it to my whole e-address book. Hopefully this evil cabal will lose a lot of power next week, and Bush and his evil, criminal, murdering administration will be sent packing in two years. It will take a century to wipe the stain off of American History.
Oh, and "Greg", whether WE suffered from the Bush Administration's rape of the First Amendment or not is irrelevant. That ANYONE suffered from it, and many have, is more than enough. Call me old fashioned, but either you believe in Liberty and Justice for ALL, or your opinion is worthless.
Thanks Ken.

franny said...

The Conservatives don't want to hear the truth, they can't handle he truth.

franny said...

they can't handle THE truth either.

Anonymous said...

To answer Greg's question: I'm writing a thesis script for a graduate film program. In my script, one of the characters works for the Federal government. I wondered if this position routinely gets Secret Service protection. I looked online, couldn't find the answer. Thought: Well, I can always call the Secret Service...

And that's when I decide to just make something up. Because I don't feel safe calling up a government office and asking an innnocent question about something funded by my tax dollars. I am not a conspiracy theorist or paranoid. I just don't want to piss off a gov't that's stopped acknowledging habeas corpus.

So to answer your question, that's what I've lost: My inalienable right to a fair trial. And with it, I've gained a fear I never had before--a fear of my own government.

Greg said...

Um, your being afraid of what might happen because of your fear of a "shadow government" that would imprison you for asking a question is not a right that you have lost.

For the record, there are/have been innumerable movies and TV shows that use information from the Secret Service/Armed Services all the time. The Army even has a special office to handle creative questions about how it works.

I'm afraid of sharks, but I don't believe they "stole my right" to swim in the ocean.

david o'hara said...

Tenspeed,

didn't read my last paragraph? Are you female?

Actually, there are many similarities between all wars. All the sides of the Iraq War believe in what they are doing, even Bush (and I'm no fan of his).

If you don't think the women aren't, at the best, second class citizens, then what are they? Even if many of them don't think they are, it's because they don't know any better.

Both sides in the Civil War wanted things - some good - some bad (unless you consider slavery good). The North did want to lose the agricultural South. The South didn't want to lose their slaves. There was not a shortage of egos on both sides, either.

Could be the biggest difference in the two wars - is the carnage. I'll let you try and figure that one out.

History repeats itself not because I can't see the differences in the wars - it's because many people can't see the similarites.

If you want to allude to a Star Trek episode - see "The City On The Edge Of Forever" written by Harlan Elison (If this is not the exact title - it's close - .

Log line: Captian Kirk must let a Peace Activist he has fallen in love with, die because her movent will delay America's involvement in WWII, giving the Nazis time to develope the A Bomb.

Gosh, we went to war BEFORE the Nazis had Weapons Of Mass Destruction. How many of you thought Bush's move was a first?

History repeats itself - over and over and over. The only protection is to put your head in the sand. (South Park episode)

david o'hara said...

Tenspeed,

"Democracy is a very good thing. It also has nothing to do with Iraq. "

Who thinks the world is flat?

Democracy has much to do with despots and finatical religious leaders - they fear it. They don't harbor discent of any kind. Where the hell have you been?

You can openly knock what I believe and I can knock you back. It's the freedom to do this that basically keeps our country trundeling along somewhere near the center.

Oh, by the way, the Borg were all sociopaths (look up the word). Bush may be an ass, but any sane person that hates him, knows he's no Ted Bundy.

Hey, did you cry at Bundy's execution? He wouldn't cry at your demise - it just wasn't in him.

Mike Barer said...

Wasn't there room for Ahnold?

JP said...

Great list. You could add two other quotes from the white house fantasy script factory:

"They hate us because they hate freedom"

"Bring it on!"

Anonymous said...

Please, someone, inform brianscully that the possessive of "it" is NOT "it's."

It renders any argument on semantics on his part pointless.

Matthew said...

O'Hara--

"Sadam no longer in power"?

And we've killed the number-three man at Al-Qaeda about six times. Know why? 'Cause someone else moves up! There's always some damn tinpot dictator waiting in the wings. The right claiming credit for kicking Saddam out is simplistic and surface-oriented. Bush is like the little Dutch boy, waist-deep in water, saying, "Look how great I am for plugging up this one hole."

"The insurgents are terrified of democracy invading their backward countries."

Democracy is an ideology; it doesn't invade anything. Dictators are not afraid of ideas; they're afraid of anyone else having any power, and THAT is only maintained by democracy, never caused by it. The Halliburton millionaires are who's terrified, and of Iraqi oil profits going to ordinary Iraqis instead of them.

"How can any woman be infavor of cutting and running from Afganistan where all the women were living in slavery?"

Ah, more of that tired old "cut and run" bullshit. You are a lemming, shouting, "stay the course" in your rush toward the cliff's edge. The fact is that in practical terms, we've already left Afghanistan for Iraq, with the drug lords back in power and the Taliban re-forming. The 10,000 or so troops we have in Afghanistan amount to a fig leaf covering this fact.

"We had far more loses in the Civil War. How many Americans would have favored the North cutting and running back then. How many blacks?"

What was at stake in the Civil War was the very existence of the United States. It was also ON OUR SOIL. Quitting was not an option. How do you not see that those facts make it not comparable to Iraq? You're on this "all wars are the same" kick, and it's simply wrong.

Oh-- and as far as preventing or taking care of nuclear weapons goes, Iran and North Korea are the countries comparable to 1930s Germany. Not Iraq. But the Mediocrity in the White House went for the easy country to beat, and now we have a jackal by the tail that we can't let go of to deal with the tigers coming.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David O'Hara:

Okay, let's compare The American Civil War and The War in Iraq.

President Lincoln said, "I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free"

President Bush said, "The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder".

Hmmm...no mention of free slaves in Iraq. No mention of Democracy. In fact, Bush never mentioned this so-called "Bring the Democracy" reasoning until it was determined that Iraq did not have have weapons of mass destruction.

The American Civil War was an internal conflict in America because the South and the North disagreed about owning slaves.

The biggest difference in both wars is NOT the carnage. That's a silly statement and entirely untrue.

The Civil War in Iraq between the Shiite's and the Sunni's is a Religious War that was started by President Bush (this is undisputed, by the way) and he has no idea what he's doing there, how to get out, or what he started.

You seem like a semi-competent man. You do see the difference, don't you?

"Gosh, we went to war BEFORE the Nazis had Weapons Of Mass Destruction. How many of you thought Bush's move was a first?"

Holy smokes, you're not comparing World War II and this War in Iraq, are you? Please, please, please say you're not...

"Oh, by the way, the Borg were all sociopaths"

Yes they were, weren't they?

The Borg's also believed that humans had to conform to their way of existence. The humans believed that, although flawed, they didn't want or need some grandious other nation coming in telling them how to live. Watch the movie again and listen to the words and speeches by The Borg's. And...dear God, The Star Trek references are ridiculous. Forget it.

But you get my point.

And the fact that we can disagree is what makes this nation great. Although our current President just took a steaming shit on our Bill of Rights so who knows how long that'll last?

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

Again, this is not a Republican=BAD, Democrat=GOOD argument. That's a ridiculous stance.

Point of fact, the regime in power now doesn't even hold most Republican ideologies. President Bush is the worst President in the history of our nation (not a fact per se but I dare you to find one that's worse). That fact that he's a Republican is unfortunate to other Republicans.

Great Big Radio Guy said...

Hey, Leader! If only we can all say what needs to be said in 30 seconds (an artform which you do sensationally!).

As a second-gen liberal, it'll sound incredibly moderate for me to say: When the hell did we go to war with each other? I kinda miss Americans talking to Americans. It used to be spirited. Now it's just hateful.

Still, I harken back to 2000 when my Mom lived in Florida. She never discussed politics with anyone. She and her next door neighbors were best of friends - watched each others' houses when one was out of town, Mom would feed treats to their dog, shared her home with them - the whole bit.

As I said, she never talked politics with anyone.

One day, the neighbor wife knocked on Mom's door to return the set of house keys they'd use to watch Mom's house when she was away. The wife said that the husband heard - HEARD - that Mom would vote for Al Gore, and that he didn't want to be associated with her any more. He also wanted their keys back. That was the last contact they ever had with each other. (We have since moved Mom closer to us in Cali.)

There's no defense for that kind of behavior. And having rolled it around in my mind, I simply couldn't imagine anyone on my side of the spectrum slamming a widowed 80-year-old lady out of their lives because they HEARD she's not voting to their liking.

They're an aberration, I know. But a sad indication of how ugly America would get over the next six years. As long as people keep depending on Rush and all the little Limbaughs out there for their news with no chance of equal time, things won't change much.

Now give your father in law a hug and tell him to make room for long-winded me at the cracker barrel...

Ken Levine said...

I must agree with GREAT BIG RADIO GUY.

I have a number of good friends, close friends who are all Republican. I don't agree with them but so what? We're still friends. I still care about them, still enjoy their company.

I rarely use this blog as a political forum. But I do try to stay topical and we are nearing a big election.

It saddens me to think there are readers who will discontinue coming to this blog because I'm a Democrat but so be it I guess.

Although I'd feel better if you left because you thought I wasn't funny.

david o'hara said...

Tnespeed,

one of us is semi-competant:

The Borg's also believed that humans had to conform to their way of existence. The humans believed that, although flawed, they didn't want or need some grandious other nation coming in telling them how to live. Watch the movie again and listen to the words and speeches by The Borg's. And...dear God, The Star Trek references are ridiculous. Forget it.

You use Star Trek to support your views and then the refferences become ridiculous and we should forget them ALL IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH? Hmmm...

And you still don't understand the definition of sociopath.

Democracry invades minds. Just ask the people who fear it?

mathew,

"What was at stake in the Civil War was the very existence of the United States. It was also ON OUR SOIL. Quitting was not an option. How do you not see that those facts make it not comparable to Iraq? You're on this "all wars are the same" kick, and it's simply wrong."

Dude,

The North and South could have split the territory - no war! Starting was an Option!

The North could have cut and run anytime. The South frequently reccomended that.

In fact, the South sounded a bit like the insurgents do today. Hmmm....

What is at stake now, is the very existance of radical Islam

The ability to see the similarities may just be beyond you...or you may have the abilitiy, but your head is in the sand.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David O'Hara:

Just imagine how hard I laughed when you talked about competency and then misspelled "Tenspeed" and "competent".

"You use Star Trek to support your views and then the refferences become ridiculous and we should forget them ALL IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH? Hmmm..."

Okay. First of all, you've proved you can't spell all that well. Two, I wanted to drop the Star Trek references because it made me sound like a fucking geek. Which, in a lot of ways I am but I've tried to keep that secret for years.

"The North and South could have split the territory - no war! Starting was an Option!"

"The North could have cut and run anytime. The South frequently reccomended that."

"In fact, the South sounded a bit like the insurgents do today. Hmmm...."

Yikes. Each paragraph got worse and worse. Can I make a suggestion? Go out and pick up 2 books:

Practical Spelling: The Bad Speller's Guide to Getting It Right Every Time by Learning Press

and

The Civil War: A Narrative by Shelby Foote

Both books will do you a world of good.

Anonymous said...

Greg,

Way to be glib. Opening a post with "um" was original at the dawn of the internet, but it's been an obvious marker of the writer's condescending arrogance for at least 5 years.

I don't know why you put "shadow government" and "stole my right" in quotes--neither is phrase I used in my post.

I know all about the information agency working with the Secret Service, et al, and I choose not to contact them, for the stated reason.

Also, your shark analogy makes no sense. Among other logical problems, no one has ever been guaranteed the right to a shark free ocean.

Out of pity for you, I will concede the serious logical flaw in my post--that I can't PROVE I've lost my right to a fair trial until I am denied that right. But since I lost my faith in that right, I will go to any lengths to avoid proving my point the hard way. Of course, I would love to be proven wrong and perhaps will be someday.

Jim Walsh said...

Oh, we're all so tired of Tweedle-Dee, so let's vote for Tweedle-Dum.

Right...like it would makes a dime's worth of difference.

My philosophy: don't vote...it just encourages them.

Seymour said...

Now I'm no longer clear on this. Please help me.
The Sunnis are the Klingons,
The Shi'ites are the Romulans,
and we are the Borg?
Or are the Sunnis the Romulans,
The Shi'ites the Klingons,
and we're the Ferengis?
No wait, the Iraqis are the Romulans, The Shit'ites are the Borg, the Sunnis are the cybermen, and we're the Daleks?
My brain hurts.

BrianScully said...

Hey, thanks to "anonymous" for correcting my incorrect use of "it's" as a possessive. I'm terrible at that stuff and guilty of even worse violations. I also never know how to use that damn semi-colon thing; I always screw that up.
P.S.
Oh, and just to sort of wind this whole poltical discussion down on something REALLY important... "Studio 60" blows.

david o'hara said...

Tenspeed,

Could have predicted this would come down to spelling on your part: This is a response to another person who couldn't handle the sparring of ideas.

I had spelled Iraq incorectly. You will think you have scored again...but if you can follow this:

You haad no problume detirmining the countrie I was refffering to. So eye muste have communikated cleerly. That is a sign of intelligence - speelling is not. Sppelling is a functione of memorie. Sum idiot savants are quite good at memmery but can designe nothing and have troubel communicating. Ever seen spelling questions on an IQ test?

A person dwelling on the incorrect spelling of words in written communications are usually dodging the ideas in the communication. Pointing out the missspeeled words gives them a false fealling of superiyoritie - allowing them to dismiss incorrectly spelled ideas out of hand. Many good writers are poor spellers - that is what secretaries and spell checkers are for. They can spell - they can't rite.

I have seen some of your writing. In a battle of witts - you are poorly armed.

I am not Star Jones said...

Thank you
for sharing that list.
More hyped than ever to get my butt in the voter's booth.

Ken Levine said...

Had to delete a few comments, not because they were negative but because they were from anonymous. Gotta leave your name, folks. I left one anonymous thread in there because it was a back and forth with another reader.

But truly, give whatever opinion you want but if you don't leave your name you're a coward. And again, if you want to stop reading this blog because I'm not a Republican fine. Be my guest.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David:

"I have seen some of your writing. In a battle of witts - you are poorly armed"

I think it's really cool that you have no problem writing a line of dialogue that's been used for the last 50 years and hasn't even been funny for the last 30. That takes courage that I just don't have. I would've felt like an idiot writing something so unoriginal and yawn inspiring but you've obviously already wrestled with those demons, so kudos to you!

David, it seems a little bit obvious that you're not exactly sure what happened in The Civil War nor The War in Iraq. But again, that's fine! Who needs those silly little facts? You've got an ideology and you're gonna stick with it no matter what happens.

By the way, both of my book recommendations were serious. If you want to reject the spelling book that's your choice but you should really read The Civil War: A Narrative by Shelby Foote book.

"Sppelling is a functione of memorie."

Not entirely true. David, you're writing on a computer. You can fact check anything before you write it. The truth is, you don't care about "getting it right". You just want to "get it out right now". Which is yet another problem in this country.

Tom Quigley said...

I thought the first letters of each word on the list were going to spell something out. I gave up after IIIAGEETOOQCTTL....

eboydowen said...

o'hara,

"Sadam no longer in power. The insurgents are terrified of democracy invading their backward countries."

The insurgents don't seem all that terrified of democracy. I think they may be a little peeved at what they perceive to be imperialist soldiers invading their land.

The thing about democracy (and Christianity and Britney Spears and any other great thing that Westerners can't get enough of exporting) is that these things must be embraced by the people. They cannot be forced on someone at the barrel of a gun.

As for the war itself, which I was initially in favor of based on the intelligence provided, is that it's been so poorly managed that it's undermined anything the chickenhawks set out to do in the first place. They are so incompetent, it's almost immoral. None of those idiots had any grasp of foreign affairs or military strategy and a lot of people have died due to to their smug stupidity.

The "War on Terror" is closer to the War on Drugs than the Cold War. There is no centralized country to fight, no physical base of operations. It's just random pockets of radicals that are a lot faster and smarter than our outdated tactics allow us to be.

You'd think at least one of those idiots in the Administration would have cracked open The Art of War or studied the way Rommel fought the Allies in Africa or looked at how the American colonists fought the British. Our current tactics are strategically bankrupt.

I got off on a tangent. My real point is, if you want to instill democracy and "freedom" in a country that prima facie appears to not share our values, the paradigm should be China. China is still one of the worst human rights violators in the world, but the people are slowly but surely taking back the power and embracing the free market (as best they can).

Democracy is something that has to be embraced by the majority. That's how it works. And if you think people who still hold their tribe and their religion above their own interests and the interests of their families are ready for democracy just because we knocked over a statue and draped it in an American flag, you're even more simple-minded than your blind partisan hackery implies.

But you're free to stay the course if you want.

I'll be cutting and running.

Elliott

Moeski said...

Ken, Sorry I’m late to the party but I just got caught up on my reading. I normally don’t post comments, I lack confidence as a writer, but hopefully this post finds an audience.

As I read the comments about history repeating it self and how textbooks will written 50 years from now, it occurred to me that all this banter about liberals and conservatives is just a dog and pony show that distracts from the real issue. America is a super power in decline and neither the democrats nor the republicans have any interest in stopping it.

History will repeat itself. Every great empire that the world has spawned has risen and fallen. It is inevitable. The only difference is that as technology has progressed, the rise and fall has been compressed over time. The Roman Empire lasted much longer than the Holy Roman Empire that lasted longer than the British Empire. We’re next.

It’s not that I am un-American; it is just that I am not so arrogant as to believe we are in god’s country. We have been indoctrinated into believing we have the moral authority, but no one mentions that Americans are responsible for the genocide of an entire continent of Native Americans and our founding fathers had no problem with the enslavement of an entire race.

Our political system is failing. Elections are bought and sold. As a culture, politics no longer attract the brightest and the best, but the ambitious and the privileged. Debating ideas is no longer possible in the sound byte era.

Our economic system is failing. The trade deficit with China is the elephant in the room. If China decides to sell off all the US notes they are holding, the treasury will have to dramatically hike interest rates in order to service the dept. This will cut the legs out from under the highly leveraged American consumer causing the house of cards to fall. Seventy percent of our economy is based upon Americans continuing to spend their money. It is a pyramid scheme of the highest order.

Our educational system is failing. The popular opinion is that textbooks 50 years from now will be written in Mandarin. I don’t know, but I hope that 50 years from now American teenagers are still reading. Quality education is now reserved for those who can pay for it furthering a new class system between the haves and the have-nots. The cynic in me believes this is an intentional act to keep the population from questioning the status quo.

Our foreign policy is failing. The war in Iraq is a thinly veiled attempt at reviving American imperialism. Fifty years from now it will be clear to see that this war is about oil and money. We need both to survive and it is human nature to strive for survival.

I think it is a mistake to frame the current political environment in terms of right and wrong, good and evil or even conservative and liberal. It makes more sense to view things in terms of human nature. It is human nature for those with political power to try to hold onto that power. It is in the interests of both republicans and democrats to maintain the environment of extremism. They can continue to focus the attention on the name-calling, taking turns controlling government, while no one has to take the political risks necessary to fix the underlying problems with our country.

Lincoln was the last great president; he risked everything in order to do what was clearly morally right.

Wow, that was more than I thought I had to say.
Ken, I love your blog.

david o'hara said...

Elliot,

"Democracy is something that has to be embraced by the majority. That's how it works. And if you think people who still hold their tribe and their religion above their own interests and the interests of their families are ready for democracy just because we knocked over a statue and draped it in an American flag, you're even more simple-minded than your blind partisan hackery implies."

There were many people in Iraq who wanted democracry before the overthrow of Saddam. (Not that they could voice that opinion then. They can now. And will be able to until we cut and run.

Partisan? To whom? Did I say a was a Republican or Democrat? I'm pro choice, anti-welfare, infavor of people taking responsibility for their own actions - would prefer less government to more, pro-cloning and anti-religion (all of them). I don't think any party would have me.

Address what I said - not what you assume.

Just guessing, but maybe your knee-jerk assumptions are because you can't read. Is that why you didn't attack my poor spelling?

Team up with Tenspeed. She (an assumption) slipped off my bad spelling and grammar to score a devastating blow by pointing out my using an old phrase I didn' coin. I guess it couldn't be appropriate, because It had been used before??????

Between your assumptions and her anal clinging to propper grammar, spelling and quest for new phrases, your team will still debate like crap, but hopefully you'll be less aware of it.

Wait a minute...I just said something really stupid. You can't be less aware of something you are not aware of at all.

david o'hara said...

I want to thank you, Mr. Levine for not squashing my comments on your website. I'm sure we don't see eye-to-eye on most of what I said, but you let me say it. You have my respect for that and for your writing.

This site is FUN. Unlike many of the mouth-breathers (not my phrase - just wish it was) who Hollywood caters to, your readers have thoughts, ideas, and passions. I don't agree with many of them, but hey, any decent screenwriter knows without conflict - there's no drama - or humor.

Hope I don't get to badly trounched by the tag team I've tried to put together.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David O'Hara:

I don't know why you think I'm a woman. Either you didn't take the time to find out by simply clicking on my name (facts...who cares about facts?) or you think that women are...I don't know. Where are you going with the gender thing?

Fact is, I'm a Black Male. I took the time to mention your inept spelling because it was a small insight on how you have no interest in facts.

Most of the things you've written about the War in Iraq seems painfully uninformed. Comparing it to the Civil War seems painfully silly. Please just read the book. You think I'm being facetious but offering you a chance to learn isn't a threat. It's an opportunity.

Take it.

I too don't really suscribe to a particular party. There are some things that I'm kinda conservative about, there are some things that I'm kinda liberal about. Believing in just one thing is crazy. No, it's fanatical. And dangerous. And dumb.

It would be nice if you learned the true meaning of Democracy. It would be nice if you learned that you can't bring about Democracy in the way that we're doing. Actually, it's kind of obvious. Even most Republicans agree with that sentiment. You have something called, "Blind Faith". Meaning, regardless of the facts, you will believe whatever you want to believe.

What exactly is it gonna take for you to realize that this war is a disaster. And worst of all, it's a lie. I want you to do one favor for me. Just ask yourself this question. Really think about this:

Does Our Current Government Really Want To Bring Democracy Across The World?

Do you really, truly believe this is what it's all about?

Seriously.

Think about it.

--Tenspeed

david o'hara said...

Tenspeed,

Come on, Tenspeed, you can tap dance faser than that. (borrowed that line also)

You brought up the spelling, to take a cheap (and irrelvelvant shot) - a weak ploy when you can't come up with something better. The discussion wasn't originally about spelling.

Did you get it at all? The bit I truly mangled, most people understand perfectly. The ideas presented were quite clear with the words intentionally misspelled. You know why?

Because the mind doesn't read all the letters.

Do you automatically dismiss the ideas of someone with a speech impediment? Even if they can get their intentions across to you? Probably not if they agree with your ideas. Assuredly so if they don't agree.

I'm lazy. That doesn't make me wrong. (unless this is a spelling and gramar test). I was hoping it was a test of ideas. Some verbal sparring. If this was verbal, you wouldn't know I misspelled anything. Wow, what a concept? You might have to stick to the subject at hand. Or would you try to get my notes - maybe show the audience some typos or mangled words they wouldn't have been aware of.

As to the Iraq war being a disaster - what wars aren't? Even if you win? How many died in the Civil War? half-million men and boys? More? That's not a disaster? A disaser that could have been avoided if the South had a true democracy? It wasn't because there were groups of people excluded.

Maybe you should look the up definition of democracy?

About the women thing, that was an assumtion, but I did ask. And I was aware it was only an assumption. The spelling thing was so weak it seemed to be girly - not womanly, but girly.

But now that I know you have the FACTS. I may have to reconsider my factless position. ... Naw, I misspell, I don' need no stinkin' facts. (tweeked some Good, Bad, and Ugly) and that's a fact.

Ken Levine said...

Jeez, I can't leave you guys alone for five minutes. Play nice together. This is a comedy blog. I can only imagine what goes on at Ann Coulter's site. Yikes.

Tenspeed & Brownshoe said...

David O'Hara:

"Does Our Current Government Really Want To Bring Democracy Across The World?"

You never answered my question.

"Because the mind doesn't read all the letters."

"Do you automatically dismiss the ideas of someone with a speech impediment? Even if they can get their intentions across to you? Probably not if they agree with your ideas. Assuredly so if they don't agree."

David...what?

"As to the Iraq war being a disaster - what wars aren't? Even if you win? How many died in the Civil War? half-million men and boys? More? That's not a disaster? A disaser that could have been avoided if the South had a true democracy? It wasn't because there were groups of people excluded."

Okay. Let's get back to an intelligent debate. You keep bringing The Civil War and I'm just starting to realize that you truly believe that the American Civil War is comparable to the War in Iraq.

David, The American Civil War was an internal conflict between the Federal Government and eleven Southern States that chose secession from the North.

The War in Iraq was started by an American President that believed the country was harboring weapons of mass destruction. After it was found that they did not, the United States removed Saddam Hussein and subsequently STARTED a civil war between the Shiites and the Sunni's.

Not the same.

Look, we all know that Saddam was a bad guy. But now that he's gone, Iran and North Korea have proven to be the true threat to this country and now there's not a damn thing we can do about it. Now if you understood anything that was going on in the Middle East you would know that Saddam Hussein was actually the one keeping Iran and its President President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in check and now with him gone, that's the reason why Ahmadinejad has been so bold.

It's a delicate and intricate balance. A lot more goes into it than vapid flash words like, "Democracy", "Good vs. Evil", and "Cut and Run".

"I'm lazy. That doesn't make me wrong."

Not it doesn't. But I wouldn't be so proud of being lazy either.

--Tenspeed

Anonymous said...

What a shame. A single, pompous, pointless, unnecessary post in an otherwise stellar site has kinda soured me on this blog for good. I hate that it has- it makes me feel so small- but it has, and now I can't read here anymore. Pity. Keep up the (otherwise) good work!

Anonymous said...

First the internet gave us the list as a substitute for jokes.

Now, the list as political discourse.

This doesn't help anyone. (Though I suppose it makes Larry Gelbart feel clever without forcing him to produce a logical thought.)

Another unfortunate example of the lazy thinking by the Left. Getting rid of the Neocons is going to take a lot more intelligence than this.

But then NYT and all of New York think that "STUFF HAPPENS" at the Public was truthful.

Ugh.

Heywood J. said...

Amazing how the cons can't write comedy.

Sure they can, they just call it "comedy-boarding". It's banned under the Geneva Convention, not that that stops them.

I am not Star Jones said...

whether you agree with the list or not, it does make for provocative, frank discussion and thought.

And isn't that one of the top five reasons we love being Americans?

Our willingness to embrace dissent? To discuss issues without fear?

I know that's why I love being who I am.

Happy Voting!

Enlightenment said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dwg said...

He forgot the Patriot Act.

Steve Bailey said...

As of Gilbert and Sullivan might have noted, he has quite a little list, and he never will be missed.