Marka starts us off:
When stars come into the commissary do they have to wait in line? If not, how do they cut the line? And, what level of star is able to get away with that.
A lot of studios have two sides to their commissary. One is more cafeteria style and one is more a sit down restaurant where they take reservations. Stars generally have reservations. That said, usually at 1 PM (everyone makes reservations for 1 PM) there can be a brief line while the parties are seated and the stars generally stand in line.
Star treatment is more in evidence at regular restaurants. Many stars do require special treatment, but not all.
I was in an Italian restaurant in Brentwood a few years ago. There were no reservations. The line was about seven deep. Harrison Ford came in and asked how long the wait would be. The maitre ‘d said, “Oh no, we will take you in right away,” and Ford, to his credit, said, “No. I’m happy to wait.” And he did.
You gotta love Indiana Jones.
Bradley wonders:
I fell into a YouTube rabbit hole, watching random episodes from one season sitcoms. Among them was an episode of "Pearl" that you directed. It's certainly not a beloved series, but I remember enjoying it at the time. It was a good episode that still made me laugh. Does any one memory from the set while you were there come to mind?
Yes. I was talking to a writer friend the night before I was supposed to start directing. I told him I was a little intimidated. Malcolm McDowell was in the cast. I’d be directing Malcolm McDowell. I said to my friend, “This guy starred in CLOCKWORK ORANGE.” And he said, "Yeah, but he also starred in CALIGULA.”
Suddenly, the intimidation was gone. And by the way, Malcolm was perfectly charming and a pleasure to direct.
My other memory is talking to one of the supporting cast members who had very little to do. Lucy Liu. Whatever happened to her?
From Sparks:
When a show gets rerun or put into syndication, who gets residual payments? I assume it depends to some degree on one's agent, but generally, who? Stars, director, writers?
Not just stars — all actors with a speaking role. Residuals are negotiated with the unions. Agents are not involved. In fact, agents do not receive commission on residuals.
However, “created by” and “developed by” credits are negotiated within the guidelines of the WGA credits manual.
And pilot directors sometimes command a royalty on all future episodes. That’s negotiated by an agent.
And finally, from Jim S.:
Are there any genres you'd like to tackle. For example, Alexa Junge wrote for both Friends and The West Wing. Two very different styles of shows.
So, say, someone you knew said "we're bringing back Columbo and looking for writers with all different kinds of experience, would you care to take a crack?"
Would you? Are there genres you would wish to avoid?
I’d be happy to write a COLUMBO. Among current fare I’d love to write an episode of THE GOOD FIGHT, BARRY, or BETTER CALL SAUL.
Having written MASH for so many years, I have no interest in writing a medical show. I also hate horror shows, disaster shows, zombie shows, and I'm the wrong guy to write something like THIS IS US.
Shows I would have liked to have written on in their day — THE SOPRANOS, JUSTIFIED, SUITS, THE SHIELD, THE ROCKFORD FILES, LOST, BREAKING BAD, 24, PERRY MASON (the original), HILL STREET BLUES, MIAMI VICE, SPORTS NIGHT, LOU GRANT, DEXTER, THE PRACTICE, LA LAW, and THE FUGITIVE. And THE WEST WING now that democracy has been restored.
What’s your Friday Question?
47 comments :
On the topic of residuals, do theme song singers and writers receive them? Has Gary Portnoy been able to live a life of ease as a result of writing and perfoming the Cheers theme?
I feel so out of it with hiding out against the virus...for example, I completely missed the news that democracy was restored. When did that happen?
As for theme song residuals, I asked (on Billboard) Barenaked Ladies if they could all buy a home and retire rich from the Big Bang Theory royalties.
They laughed and laughed and said they could buy a home as long as it didn't cost over $10,000.
I don't know about writing a Columbo. The 80s/90s episodes were brash and raucous, not to mention that the 70s stars are gone now (except Lee Grant, bless her soul).
Ken, I'm glad to see that you would have liked to write for The Rockford Files, one of my all-time favorite shows. I wonder if we might get a little script exercise out of you in what you would have written for Jim, Rocky, Angel and Dennis?
@Timothy Rockford is one of my favs too! It was about two going on three years ago now that I took a big risk by buying the first season on Dvd even though I had never seen it before in my life and now I have the whole series and the 90's Tv movies in my shelf. One of the greatest shows ever made imo.
FQ:
I read in Jay Moriarty's great book: "Honky in the house" that you and David wrote one of my favorite The Jeffersons episodes "Movin' on Down." Now, I never knew this. Do you have any specific memories in writing that episode and how production for it went?
Does anyone else keep thinking about the FRAZIER episode where Martin goes to a party and sits by the fire and his hair dye starts to drip? I can't get it out of my head, for some reason.
Michael J Fox reportedly has long insisted on paying at restaurants that insist on comping his meals. I wonder how many famous or well-positioned people--at every level of fame--do that. Oh wait.
First he was caught putting his hand down his trousers while lying on a bed in a room with an actress playing a 15 year old.
Then he held a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, next to a sex shop and opposite a crematorium.
Now he's been sweating brown hair dye while doing a strange impression of Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny.
Either Rudy Giuliani is trying to win an award for outstanding contribution to comedy, or we're all living in a Levine/Isaacs script come to life.
I WISH/PRAY it is a Levine-Isaacs script...
HILL STREET BLUES
(shots fired, Officer Renko enters and sees Officer Hill bleeding out on the floor)
Hill: Renko, I'm shot.
Renko: Bobby, don't say anything, you're gonna be fine.
Hill: You can have it.
Renko: Stop it Bobby, I'll get you out of here.
Hill: Seriously Renko, I want you to have it.
Renko: Don't mess with me Bobby...(crying)You know how much I love Bear Claws.
There's a YouTube video where Alan Alda talks about waiting in restaurant lines. He said he used to feel guilty about being ushered to the front of a long line just because he was a celebrity. But he said that now, he realizes it's almost expected of him (even by the people in line) and that it slows down the process if he doesn't do it.
Coincidentally, this weekend is the 40th anniversary of Malcolm MacDowell hosting SNL. What to get someone for a 40th anniversary? Well, considering it was from the 1980-81 season and considered the worst one ever behind the scenes, a small bag of trash might be appropriate.
First, Lucy Liu. She was great on an NYPD Blue episode as a nanny who barely spoke English. Minor but good character part. Then to see her on Ally McBeal .... Yes, she can do a lot of things.
So, about the commissary. Among the many great moments in Blazing Saddles is the Warner Bros. commissary scene--not the pie fight, but when the guy dressed as Hitler says he's done after the bunker scene.
And the night that Ed McMahon got one of the longest laughs in Tonight Show history when Johnny Carson wondered why NBC hadn't reopened the commissary yet and Ed shouted, "They're waiting for the food to spoil."
I read a couple of stories about MASH and the cast eating together. They seemed to have a good time, whatever the food.
Speaking of charming: several years ago after the wrap on an "Elementary" shoot on the waterfront (the Brooklyn Navy Yard... for all your "waterfront" needs! :-), Lucy Liu came over to the Fake Detectives and Cops and sincerely thanked them for their background efforts. I mean, who DOES that? She is forever cool in my book.
A follow up on residuals. If all actors get them, how are the amounts derived? Number of lines, amount of screen time, amount of experience/seniority?
Apologies to people who love THIS IS US, but Ken reminded me of something funny a friend said when he asked me about the game show THE WALL. I told him THE WALL was 5 minutes of balls falling down a pachinko board and 50 minutes of maudlin attempts at drama.
He said, "Oh, so it's like THIS IS US if they added a pachinko board?"
Friday Question: Do you know what led to Farrah Forke’s departure from Wings after only one season as a regular (she’d recurred the year before)? Had the writers run out of ideas for her character or did she decide to leave? Given that she made a guest appearance the following year, I’d hazard a guess it wasn’t overly acrimonious.
@Lemuel,
"I don't know about writing a Columbo. The 80s/90s episodes were brash and raucous..."
I've started watching the Columbo episodes from those years, and they're definitely hit or miss. There are good moments, but for the most part they're disappointing. Sometimes they're cringe worthy. A real step down from the 70's.
@Buttermilk Sky,
Great minds think alike. I couldn't get that episode out of my head.
@Ken,
Instead of writing a new episode of Columbo, if the show were revived, maybe you could play the murderer.
I told this story a few weeks ago, but it's appropriate to repeat it here. When I was a busboy at the commissary on the CBS Radford lot none of the stars ever came in to eat. We fed the MTM shows, yet we never say Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart or even a Gavin McCloud. They sent their assistants to pick up their food. As I said previously the only star that came in was Cloris Leachman and that was just to use the phone.
Other shows on the lot used the food service trucks. You never saw celebrities in line there either.
When I was an extra I usually worked on location. Most often they would have two tents. One union and one nonunion. The principles and crew ate in the union tent. Everyone else ate in the other one. When there was only one tent we would be on opposite sides. While some stars ate in their trailers you were far more likely to see stars in the dining tent on location.
On one movie one of the crew asked me what we had in the nonunion tent. I told him something like chicken and mashed potatoes. He said he wished he was eating in our tent. The union tent was serving the kind of hoity-toity food you'd expect famous people would eat. The crew guy prefered more basic food. "The grass is always greener..."
I didn't realize that that was Lucy Liu in that photo. She looks really pretty there.
Off Topic: I watched "B Positive" and "The Unicorn" last night. I was pleasantly surprised by "Unicorn." The dialog was very natural and some of it was actually funny. As for "B Positive," I think Chuck Lorre has finally lost it. He has once again trotted out the mismatched pair trope. The two main characters lack the charm of previous shows. (At this point they're just annoyingly quirky. And the show really suffers from not having a live audience. Although, they wouldn't have much to laugh at since the jokes just weren't funny.
I guess this has turned into a FRIDAY QUESTION.
Is there a fundamental difference between writing for a single camera, no audience sitcom and writing for a multicam w/audience?
Based on the above mentioned shows there seems to be. But I'd love to get your opinion.
M.B.
I *really* want to know what a Ken Levine script for 24 would look like...
I know you don't like political comments so I'm glad that you monitor. But you really should put up that YouTube video of Rudy Giuliani and his booger. Laugh out loud funny
Have you ever worked with Dean Winters? I recently re-watched "30 Rock", "Terminator - The Sarah Conner Chronicles" and then "Battle Creek" (since I noticed him in the first two). I liked Battle Creek (created by Vince Gillian) and am disappointed that it wasn't picked up for more than one season.
My opinion is that FRASIER is one of the best sitcom spin-offs in history. And part of what makes it so great is that it couldn’t been just as strong if *not* a direct spinoff. 19 year old me was obsessed with Bebe Neuwirth (just like 46 year old me) and was disappointed that Lilith wasn’t going to be on FRASIER, but I’m impressed with how distinct the show was from CHEERS, even ignoring some established backstory for the character.
This just makes me wonder if any other CHEERS character (obviously excluding Sam and Woody -- who was going on the movies) could’ve worked on a spinoff as wonderfully conceived, written as FRASIER. Or did Frasier just have more potential as a character. It’s interesting bc while some Frasier-centric CHEERS episodes rank among my favorites, he’s arguably one of the more superfluous characters. He’s always a joy to watch but he’s not like, say, Norm for whom it’s hard to imagine the show working without him.
Malcolm McDowell is a sweetheart. 38 years ago I was working as a bank teller at the Wells Fargo Bank next door to the Cinerama Dome on Sunset. It was a HORRIBLE job that I hated with every fiber of my being, but it had one upside, waiting on stars, and Malcolm McDowell had an account with us. One time, he was at another teller, and I wandered down to that window to say "Hi." (I'd waited on him before.) Well he had his Driver's licence out, and was digging through a large bag (Manpurse) he had with him, pulling out stuff onto the counter, saying, "I've got a second piece of ID in here somewhere." I asked the teller what the hell was going on, and she replied, "I asked this man for two pieces of ID, like I'm supposed to." "WHAT?" I casually replied, "He's Malcolm McDowell. He's an international movie star." "I've never heard of him." "He starred in A Clockwork Orange" "I never saw it."
I turned to Malcolm and said, "Malcolm, take your stuff down to my window. I'll take care of you." He instantly slid all the stuff he'd taken out of his murce back into it and went to my window. I read the teller a quick riot act about how she needs to treat celebrities when working in a Hollywood business, then went down and took care of everything Malcolm wanted.
After that, for the rest of the time I worked there, Malcolm would come only to me. When he was at the head of the line (The celebs always stood in line.) and I was engaged, and another teller would yell "Next," he'd let the person behind him have that teller and waited patiently for me to be free. One memory I'll never forget was holding his then-baby daughter in my arms while Malcolm wrote a check.
Malcolm is salt of the earth.
Doug's story reminds me --
I was in Tower Records the night after the Oscars one year. Standing in the check out line, Benicio del Toro (who had just won an Oscar the previous night) was asked by the pimple faced cashier to show ID. I said, “He just won a fucking Oscar!” She then said, “For what?” I said to him, “Puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?” He laughed and took it in good spirits.
Ken, your anecdote reminds me of the story you once told on the blog about your first day on the set of a show you were directing and one of the veteran actresses came up to you and said something like "Now who the fuck are you?" You never told us what you replied. I hope you gave her a list of your credits and awards and she walked off deflated.
When you mentioned the shows you'd have loved to have written for, I was surprised you didn't include The Jack Benny Show.
Even just a scene involving Jack and Frank Nelson -- make it present day. Jack tries to buy a new iPad for Mary -- and Frank is the techie/sales associate at the Beverly Hills Apple Store. I would love to read the Levine spin starting with Rochester pulling that sputtering old Maxwell up to the door of that space-age Apple store.
Have fun with it!
Malcom McDowell has my heart because he begged to be in the movie 'The Artist' because he loved the whole idea of it! They had no parts for him so he -ha ha- had a non speaking role. I like reading these stories about him.
I once met Malcolm McDowell about 10 years ago, and the first thing I said to him was: "You are my favorite Mr. Roarke." (Malcom's response: "Well, there have only been -two-.)
Actually, "Created by" and "Developed by" credits are NOT covered in the MBA.
They're negotiated in "good faith" by all the parties involved.
But sometimes, you can get screwed. Just ask me. I got screwed.
(Out of the credit. The series royalty was in my contract, but I didn't get the credit.)
Sorry to post a third time but I just read about the passing of Frasier writer/producer Charlie Hauck. RIP
They occasionally make movies and TV shows where I live (we have snow and mountains and get called to be Alaska a lot). I occasionally get to be an extra. On these "on-location" productions I have been a part of, stars certainly have line jumping rights. The last one I was on (a TV show THE DETOUR) the stars had their own craft services trailer, which strictly by accident, I went into.
It was no different, and had no different menu, from the regular trailer, and they were side by side (they were not marked; you were just supposed to "know"). It was empty when I arrived, and I was starting to get stuff when in walked Laura Benanti. It was then I realized I was in the wrong place with a half filled tray of food. Now what? Put it back? Leave with a half filled tray, and go next door where I belonged? I decided I should put it back, which Ms. Benanti saw me doing. She asked why I was doing that, and I apologized, told her I blew it, had made a mistake and was in the wrong trailer, and was going to the right one. She simply said "bullshit", put the stuff back on my tray, told me to take what I wanted, and tell anyone who complained that she said I could do it. I did, and thanked her, and skedaddled to my separate eating area. My conclusion: Ms. Benanti is a very nice lady (who also happens to be more beautiful in person than she is on stage or screen).
Thanks for bringing up PEARL. I loved that show and was crushed it was cancelled so quickly. It was the first time I'd seen Lucy Alexis Liu--as she billed herself then--and I immediately knew she'd be a big star (took a few years, but she got there). And thanks also for the YouTube tip; I knew a DVD set was not likely to happen, but it never occurred to me to check there.
Once I ran into Curtis Hanson at the Billy Wilder theatre and asked him if Lucy was going to be in his next film. He asked puzzledly, "Why would you think that?" Me: "Well, you did a film with Drew Barrymore and then one with Cameron Diaz, so I just figured you were working your way through all of Charlie's Angels." He roared with laughter and replied, "That never occurred to me! But I love Lucy Liu." Me: "Who doesn't?"
@Brian I grew up in Battle Creek. You don't want more than one season of that. Anyway, it won't be authentic until there is a way of conveying smell and we get the full effect of corn and rice going through ovens.
Sat at the next table over from Danny DeVito in the Paramount commissary when his kids were all real young. Visiting mom on the Cheers stage, I imagine. Regular folks.
Stood in line behind Nick Nolte at the Disney commissary. This was way back, he was probably there looping NEW YORK STORIES that's how far back it goes. A real nice fellow with a friendly word for anyone. What a next couple of years he would have with PRICE OF TIDES.
I worked at several studios in the Eighties and Nineties. We always noticed which stars ate in the regular commissary with the rest of us. Two who usually did: Tom Hanks (at Columbia when he was shooting PUNCHLINE) and Patrick Stewart (at Paramount during the run of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION.
D. McEwan
Your attitude to the bank teller appals me, and if I was the teller you would be reported to Human Resources (at the very least) quick smart.
The bank teller was following orders "like I'm supposed to", which means everybody - no exceptions.
And you read her the riot act because:
a) She did her job properly (are you a Trumpist)
b) She didn't act like a sycophant
c) Your warped idea of the world that "everybody" has seen "A Clockwork Orange"
d) The reason I suspect you found it a horrible job - look in the mirror
I take it that's a thumbs-down on THIS IS US? I think it's a good watch, though I certainly get why people would hate it. The cast is first-rate.
"Anonymous said...
D. McEwan
Your attitude to the bank teller appals me, and if I was the teller you would be reported to Human Resources (at the very least) quick smart.
The bank teller was following orders "like I'm supposed to", which means everybody - no exceptions.
And you read her the riot act because:
a) She did her job properly (are you a Trumpist)
b) She didn't act like a sycophant
c) Your warped idea of the world that "everybody" has seen "A Clockwork Orange"
d) The reason I suspect you found it a horrible job - look in the mirror"
At least I have balls enough to sign my posts, Mr. Anonymous Coward.
How long were you a teller? I put in two years, like serving time for a crime I never committed. Tellers were not REQUIRED to get two pieces of ID from everyone, only from people whose identity they do not know. No one is required, for instance, to get ID from their mother if said mother arrives to cash a check.
This branch, in the heart of Hollywood, catered to celebrities, as they were a highly-valued, and highly-remunerative, part of the customer base. Had I reported her to the manager rather than deal with her myself, she could have been in trouble and her job in danger. I saw tellers fired on the spot for offending a valued customer. If you're going to work with customers in Hollywood, you need to get current on the culture.
And no, I am not a Trumpanzee. Are you? No one hates that motherfucker more than I do.
And I hated banking as a soulless hell devoid of human values beyond the love of money, and where one is surrounded by dishonesty and criminality. In the two years I worked in banking, along with robberies (I was held up at gun point twice, and was present for another robbery), on average, one employee was fired for stealing at least once a month, from idiot tellers stealing from their own cash drawers, or depositing customers' checks into their own accounts instead of the customers' accounts (An enormously stupid crime, easily and inevitably discoverable), to managers with the morals of Caligula helping themselves to low-activity accounts, to embittered employees who intentionally sabotaged accounts for petty revenges, to a branch manager (So, originally my boss before he went to prison) who was part of a check-kiting scheme that netted them $4,000,000.00 and 15 years in prison. The new branch manager who followed the crooked one was so horrible a human being that he went nuts after a year on the job and locked himself in the conference room where he was screaming and destroying furniture. He went to a loony bin for a few months.
This was a Wells Fargo Bank, and if you follow the news on these matters you know what trouble that bank recently got into because the chicanery and thievery and corruption went all the way up to the top.
The teller I reprimanded, whom, like it or not, I outranked, did not last there long. She was fired long before I was able to quit, having landed a role in a touring show, where I could escape forever from banking.
So I quail under the criticism of an anonymous coward who doesn't know what he or she is blathering about concerning how I behaved at a job I loathed nearly 40 years ago. Anyone else's business you want to stick your nose out of hiding into?
Oh, and "appalls" is spelled with two Ls, as in "Your spelling appalls me."
Since you mentioned it, can you explain the “developed by credit”? Sometimes, it seems like it gets applied to an adaptation of existing material like an overseas show, book, movie, etc. Other times, it seems to get applied to a reworking of a script—I think Good Times might have a credit like that. Other times, the reason doesn’t seem obvious. Newhart has created by Barry Kemp and developed by Sheldon Bull, yet both worked on the show for the first two seasons with Kemp as executive producer.
Hello D.McEwan
Thankyou for your detailed response.
a) I am, and continue to be, an Anonymous person on Ken's website because I do not wish to sign up to a Google account.
b) I used the Trumpist analogy because of what he did to Chris Krebs earlier this week for doing his job properly (and like you I also detest Trump)
c) My apologies to you for taking my comments as seriously as you did, and I can understand your bitterness at some of the outrageous things you witnessed during your time at the bank.
d) My perceived judgment of you was based on your actions to the teller. But from your third paragraph, it would appear that you were merely following orders.
e) I can understand the bank's attitude about knowing the culture if you're working in Hollywood, and not wanting to offend clients. But to be potentially fired for not knowing everybody that Rona Barrett is aware of is troubling.
Sounds like it happened in the early 1980's. So if it had been Burt Reynolds or Clint Eastwood who were prolific at the time, then maybe. But Malcolm McDowell, apart from a supporting role in Blue Thunder, was doing pictures like Britannia Hospital and Cross Creek which were not exactly lighting up the box office - and therefore public awareness.
f) Following up your comments, Ken related a story about Benicio del Toro at Tower Records. In every Oscar broadcast, there are a number of Supporting Actors, and even leads from independent films whose names/faces are likely to be unknown to the public. If the "pimple face cashier", whose demographic is more likely to go to the movies, doesn't know who he is, then how can a bank expect its staff of all demographics to be on top of it all.
g) Again sorry for any distress my comments may have caused, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.
"I am, and continue to be, an Anonymous person on Ken's website because I do not wish to sign up to a Google account."
What a bullshit excuse for your cowardice. All you have to do is, when posting, check "Name/URL" and type your name, the way I type mine. You don't have to have a Google Account. Or at the top of your message type your name. All it takes is guts, coward.
And as for retelling me Ken's Del Toro story, did you really think I read your post but skipped over Ken's posted response to mine?
(It's spelt "appals", with one L, outside of North America.)
Me and my brother used to buy DVDs from bargain bins for each other to find films that looked terrible (so bad they're good). That's how we discovered Wet Hot American Summer which actually turned out to be very good!
But we also ended up watching a 1993 (I think) film called Train to Hell (it's also called Night Train to Venice), starring Malcolm McDowell and a pre-Four Weddings Hugh Grant. And I'm not exaggerating when I say it was, and remains, the worst film I have ever seen. So when I see Malcolm McDowell I'm afraid I cannot separate him from this spectacularly awful film. At least Hugh Grant probably needed the money!
"Anonymous Sean, a Liverpool Person said...
(It's spelt "appals", with one L, outside of North America.)"
Sadly, right now I stuck here in Trumpland am unable to leave North America. No one else will let us in. Not that I blame them. Trump appalls the rest of the world also, except in Boris Johnsonland, where he only appals.
"But we also ended up watching a 1993 (I think) film called Train to Hell (it's also called Night Train to Venice), starring Malcolm McDowell and a pre-Four Weddings Hugh Grant. And I'm not exaggerating when I say it was, and remains, the worst film I have ever seen."
Then I must assume you haven't seen McDowell's Caligula. Malcolm almost proudly calls it his worst movie. It appalls or appals him, depending on where he is when he sees it. Try watching some of his great films. If I can still love If..., Oh Lucky Man and A Clockwork Orange after seeing Caligula, I can still love him after seeing anything. (Confession, I have a DVD of Caligula for your same "So bad it's good" reasons.)
I guess this is as good a time as any to add that not only have I adored Malcolm since "Time After Time" (with the equally delicious David Warner), my favorite of his films is a Guilty Pleasure I Will Not Apologize For Loving,"Cat People". I was 14 when that came out, and it put me through changes; not only did I look at Nastassja Kinski and say "Oh yeah, I'm bi alright", but every line he spoke made me all goosebumpy, just because of how he said it. WAY sexier than yucky old "Caligula".
If I met him, I think I'd plotz.
Cheers, thanks a lot,
Storm
The mention of Columbo reminde me of a fantasy of having Columbo and Monk being placed in a situation where they had to work together in close quarters.
i.e. "murder in the BioDomme"
or
Murder in antartica during winter
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