Monday, August 01, 2022

My Playbill

With a play currently running at the Cape May Stage (go see it), I was asked to write my bio for the Playbill.  This is standard practice.  If this or any of my plays ever goes to Broadway I will have a certain amount of difficulty writing my bio.  For you see I come from "television."  In Broadway circles that's akin to "axe murderer."  The quickest way for Broadway critics to hate me is see MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER in my bio.  AfterMASH will not redeem me.  So I decided to write my bio that would be more Broadway-acceptable.  Okay, I fudge just a tad with the facts, but I think it's worth it to be the Toast of New York.  Whattaya think?


Ken is the adopted son of Stephen Sondheim. His godfather was Bob Fosse whom he met while walking Gwen Verdon’s dog. He spent his formative years building the sets for LES MISERABLES. A Peace Corps stint followed where for two years he introduced the Broadway musical to poverty stricken villages throughout Cambodia.

Ken returned to New York where he walked Carol Channing’s husband. He became somewhat of a play doctor, coming in uncredited to save A CHORUS LINE, PROOF, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE (originally titled: SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH SHLOMO). WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?, AVENUE Q., AIN’T MISBEHAVIN’ (additional dialogue), GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (talking Mamet out of the dance numbers), and THE ODD COUPLE (originally titled: TWO AND A HALF MEN).

An experimental work of his own played two nights in San Francisco and two nights in Detroit. It was called the 2012 WORLD SERIES.

He has never seen a television show, watched a movie, or read any book not written by John Simon or Frank Rich. 

27 comments :

Elf said...

So basically, the theatrical version of Forrest Gump? I like it.

Breadbaker said...

It's a long story (involving five plane rides starting in Vienna and ending in Detroit and stopping in Calgary, Seattle, Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville and Fort Lauderdale) but I entirely missed your experimental show because my dad died during the first performance.

Rich said...

Ken - You left out the part about giving George Abbott the Heimlich maneuver, dislodging a Nathan's hot dog and giving him 15 more years of life...

N. Zakharenko said...

Ken's biggest Broadway proteges were Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly.

Rejected Natalie Wood's advances because she had never starred on Broadway.

Currently developing a loving musical tribute To Roseanne Barr.

Necco said...

(Pin drop.)

Lemuel said...

The bittersweet high school romance with Jan Smithers.

Pat Reeder said...

My wife and I used to be judges in the local theater awards. I preferred musicals (fewer of them, and I enjoy them more), but occasionally, we were assigned to new non-musical plays. Having to see that many new plays will actually make you feel sympathy for critics. Most current thitt-tah writers have no reason to feel superior to good television writers. There were many times when I sat through some dull, pretentious POS, wishing it were as good as a middling episode of "Frasier" and rewriting it in my head to stay awake.

VincentP said...

You forgot when you were a child prodigy, working with Meredith Willson, and endorsed adding "Till There Was You" to "The Music Man" because four friends of yours in England would want to perform it.

Irv said...

From my Playbill reading experience, you can get away with appearances on "The Good Wife" or "The Good Fight," but that's about it.

Michael said...

Also Law & Order. Until you've done Law & Order or one of the spinoffs, you're not a Broadway performer.

At one point, you also were either Betty Comden or Adolph Green (no relation).

Buttermilk Sky said...

What about your work as a director? That revival of MY FAIR LADY where all the actors lugged accordions around. A CHORUS LINE set on the International Space Station (the zero-gravity finale killed). Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison in WAITING FOR GODOT. Genius!

estiv said...

Good, but needs some more up-to-date references.You should mention how you pleaded with Lin-Manuel Miranda, eventually convincing him Hamilton should have a hip-hop score. His original concept (recycling Jerome Kern tunes) might have attracted a smaller audience.

YEKIMI said...

You left out the part where you used to baby-sit David Merrick and became his inspiration to become a Broadway producer.

Todd Everett said...

I don’t think positive mentions of Frank Rich and -especially- John Simon will win many points from Broadway babies.

Chris Bernard said...

Have you ever thought about doing a scripted podcast? Basically a sitcom in podcast form. I've heard many people will download audio versions of Cheers or Frasier to listen to.

Anonymous said...

If your play's as funny as your bio, you've got a big hit.

Anonymous said...

If you mentioned Abe Burrows as dad, and described everyone you met as brilliant and talented, I'd mistake you for Jimmy B. writing his autobiography. Reading after your suggestion and it is good he stuck to sitcoms cuz drama or conflict sure aint his thing.

Jee Jay said...

Huh. I always thought the original title of THE ODD COUPLE was ONE AND A HALF MEN.

Live and learn.

John in NW Ohio said...

This brought a guffaw:

"A Peace Corps stint followed where for two years he introduced the Broadway musical to poverty stricken villages throughout Cambodia."

Such important work...

AaronW said...

That's a winner!

Anonymous said...

Love it!! 😂

VHS Village (Formerly The Beta Barn) said...

I wish you could have also talked Mamet out of becoming the far right MAGA piece of shit he is today.

Charles H Bryan said...

You could also sneak in that you've been a life coach, providing essential guidance to individuals in fields as diverse as medicine, aviation, radio broadcasting, surfing, nuclear power plant operations, and even to a retired baseball pitcher in the hospitality industry. He is proud to say that his was the longest personal relationship many of his clients enjoyed.

Steve Lanzi f/k/a qdpsteve said...

Does anyone know how many Playbills have been published for Broadway (or other venues) by now? I assume it's near a million if not past it.

I also wonder what the rarest, most valuable Playbill issues are.

Steve Edwards said...

Ken, of course, has been acclaimed for his work creating cod pieces for both men and women of The Royal Shakespeare Company and his unforgettable, yet understated performance as an Godot in Waiting for Godot; The Comeback.

Fred said...




1. “[Ken] became somewhat of a play doctor, coming in uncredited to save A CHORUS LINE...”

Mr. Levine has apparently confused himself with Neil Simon— who, if he’d been credited with his Chorus Lines contributions, might’ve received one more Pulitzer than another famous play doctor
https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/george-abbott-5770

2. Ring Lardner, father of the MASH Oscar winner,
had his biggest Broadway success with the 1929 comedy June Moon, a musical about a lousy songwriter, which had intentionally bad songs by Lardner, and a book by Lardner and George S Kaufman, another noted play doctor.
In celebration of the opening, Lardner also penned mock Playbill-style bios for the June Moon cast:
Frank Otto, Harry Rosenthal, Philip Loeb, Jean Dixon, Norman Foster, Lee Patrick, Linda Watkins, and John Barrymore (the last-named of whom was, of course, not actually in the show). Such was the success of Lardner’s spoofery, the Playbill bios were printed-up as a “giveaway” flier with accompanying likenesses by Alex Gard, the Sardi’s caricaturist.
The Lardner June Moon flier may be seen at these links:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EwGS95kWYAAT4HY?format=jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EwGS95oXMAEmTQS?format=jpg

3. For completists, here’s a link to a 1974 TV production starring Tom Fitzsimmons, Barbara Dana, Jack Cassidy, Beatrice Colen, Susan Sarandon, Kevin McCarthy, Lee Meredith, Estelle Parsons, Austin Pendleton, and ....... Stephen Sondheim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsu5LLv3UO4








Paul Duca said...

Did Broadway come to respect the stage output of Bernard Slade...who wrote for BEWITCHED, developed THE FLYING NUN from the original novel, and created THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY?