Friday, April 14, 2006

Worst songs of all-time

My post for the weekend is an audience participation project. This is a compiled list of some of the worst songs of all time. Cringe then suggest what else needs to be on this list. Thanks and Happy Easter.


Honey....Bobby Goldsboro

Good Morning Starshine....Oliver

The Night Chicago Died....Paper Lace

Billy Don't be a Hero....Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods

One Tin Soldier....Coven

My Boy Lollipop.....Little Millie Small

Surfin Bird....Trashmen

Mule Skinner Blues....Fendermen

He Hit me and it Felt like a Kiss....Crystals

Transfusion....Nervous Norvis

Ballad of the Green Beret....Sgt. Barry Sandler

Laurie...Dickie Lee

Deck of Cards....Wink Martindale

Hooray for Hazel....Bobby Roe

Yummy Yummy Yummy....1919 Fruit Gum Co.

My Dad...Paul Peterson


Unicorn Song...Irish Rovers

Watching Scotty Grow...Bobby Goldsboro

I've Never Been to Me...Charlene

Paper Tiger...Sue Thompson

Wildfire...Michael Murphy

Indiana Wants Me...R.Dean Taylor

Letter From Elena...Tom Clay

Little Black Egg....Nightcrawlers

Disco Duck...Rick Dees

Baby I'm a want you....Bread

Past, Present, Future…the Shangri Las

Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald....Gordon Lightfoot

Girls girls girls are made to Love...Eddie Hodges

Seasons in the Sun...Terry Jacks

Love Jones....Brighter Shade of Darkness

Heartbeat is a Love beat -- Delfranco Family

The Streaker...Ray Stevens

She Can't Find Her Keys...Paul Peterson

Ringo...Lorne Green

I Sold My Heart to the Junkman....Bluebells

Gallant Men....Senator Everett Dirkson

Which Way you Goin Billy....Poppy Family

Torn Between Two Lovers....Mary McGregor

Happiest Girl in the USA ...Donna Fargo

Ben...Michael Jackson

Open Letter to my Teenage Son...Victor Lundberg

The Men in my Little Girl's Life....Mike Douglas

Tin Man...America

Johnny Loves Me...Shelley Fabares

I Put a Spell on You...Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Claire...Gilbert O'Sullivan

Walk like an Egyptian…the Bangles

Today is Cindy's Birthday....Johnny Crawford

Close to Cathy....Mike Clifford

MacArthur Park...Richard Harris

Locomotion...Grand Funk Railroad

The Americans...Byron McGregor

Haunted House...Gene Simmons

Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town....Kenny Rogers

Bottle of Wine....Fireballs

Wait For Me...the Playmates

How am I supposed to live without you…Michael Bolton

Sad Movies make me cry…Sue Thompson

Martian Hop....Randells

Skinny Legs and All....Joe Tex

Hello Hello....Claudine Longet

Tutti Fruitti....Pat Boone

Mrs. Robinson....Frank Sinatra

We are the World…USA for Africa

Do the Clam....Elvis Presley

Hello…Lionel Richie

I Remember You…Frank Eifield

Sometimes when we touch…Dan Hill

Uh oh (part II)….the Nutty Squirrels

Wam Bam (Shang-a-Ling)….the Silvers

Laugh at Me...Sonny & Cher

Little Green Apples....O.C. Smith

I Wish I were a Princess...Little Peggy March

You Really turn me on...Ian Whitcomb

I'm Henry the Eighth....Herman's Hermits

Muscrat Love...Capt. & Tanille

Sit on my face, Stevie Nicks...the Rotters

Jingle Bells...the Barking Dogs

Downtown...Mrs. Miller

Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady...Helen Reddy

Candy Man...Sammy Davis Jr.

Puppy Love...Donny Osmond

Touch me in the Morning...Diana Ross

Another Somebody done somebody wrong song...B.J. Thomas

Float On…the Floaters

Dominique…the Singing Nun

Lovin' You...Minnie Riperton

How does that grab ya, darling….Nancy Sinatra

Chick a Boom...Daddy Dew Drops

Mmmmm Bop...Hanson

You Light up my Life…Debby Boone

Neanderthal…Hot Legs

Call Collect...Art Linkletter

Karma Chameleon…Culture Club

Please Mr. Please...Olivia Newton John

Mickey...Toni Basil

Old Rivers...Walter Brennan

You Better Sit Down Kids...Cher

Indian Lake...Cowsills

Ding dong the witch is dead....Fifth Estate

Master Jack...Four Jacks and a Jill

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep...Mac & Katie Kissoon

Wild Thing...Senator Bobby

Tall Paul...Annette

Feelings…Morris Albert

Dreams of the Everyday Housewife…Glen Campbell

Roses are Red…Bobby Vinton

Stayin’ In…Bobby Vee

Chevy Van…Sammy Johns

England Swings…Roger Miller

Patches…Dickie Lee

Popsickle…Jan & Dean

I am Woman…Helen Reddy

Playground in my mind…Clint Holmes

Wind Beneath my Wings…Bette Midler

Trying to stop the feeling…Barry Manilow

The Doggone Girl is Mine…Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney

Ain’t Gonna Bump with no Big Fat Woman…Joe Tex

Speedy Gonzales….Pat Boone

I'm Not a Juvinile Delinquent...Frankie Lyman & the Teenagers

Dead Skunk...Louden Wainwright III


SkookumJoe said...

Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Metloaf. (actually, all of Meatloaf)

Sylvia's Mother - Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show

Shawna said...

i'd like to add a vote for The Thong Song...whatever happened to Sisqo, anyway?

Anonymous said...

Good list, Ken. I agree with MOST of your selections. I would have to add "The Teen Commandments" by Paul Anka, George Hamilton IV and Johnny Nash; and also "We Can't Sing Rhythm & Blues" by Patience & Prudence.

A correction is in order -- "Letter from Elaina" was by Casey Kasem, not Tom Clay (Clay did the narrative version of "What The World Needs Now Is Love").

Anonymous said...

I kind of like a couple of the songs on your list. I refuse to specify which. Also, I think the Ray Stevens song is "The Streak." Which I don't like.

Anonymous said...

Sinatra actually did a cover of Mrs. Robinson? Wow. It's not hard to imagine why it would be on this list.

Christina said...

I love that Screamin' Jay Hawkins song...

Okay, a new one for your list - "You Look Great When I'm High" by the Brian Jonestown Massacre.

Anonymous said...

You seem to favour songs that tell stories. Those are often pretty awful, but my favorite kind of awful. I'd like to add "The Last Game of the Season" by David Geddes and "Dear Mr. Jesus" by PowerSource.

Anonymous said...

Please explain to me the criteria for this list!

Some seem self-evident, but some seem baffling. I'd have been proud to have written some of them.

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald: on the list for length? Then why not Stairway To Heaven?

Please Mr. Please: on the list for pop/country mashing? Hey, it's not on my Ipod, but it just doesn't seem worthy of hatred. I even find the B-17 hook endearing.

Others, too, baffle me, but those are enough to point out that the list just seems like songs you heard too often, not songs that were awful.

Oh, and LOVE the blog!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what an attrocious list. But there IS more out there. My brother and I on long car trips play a game much like this, where we try to batter one another into submission by singing phrases of the worst possible songs. This list adds a few bullets to my arsenal - thanks!

Here are some others:

Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band
Me and You and A Dog Named Boo - Kent Lavoie
Convoy - CJ McCall
Please Mister Please - Olivia Newton John
Xanadu - Olivia Newton John
Pac Man Fever - Buckner and Garcia
The Cup of Life - Ricky Martin
Sister Christian - Night Ranger
We Built This City - Starship
Galveston - Glen Campbell
Jesse's Girl - Rick Springfield
Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me - Mac Davis
The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis Etc
Everybody's Working for The Weekend - Loverboy
The Warrior - Scandal
Sneaky Snake - Tom T Hall
Ebony & Ivory - P McCartney & S Wonder
Sususudio - Phil Collins
Atlantis - Donovan
Some Velvet Morning - Nancy Sinatra, Lee Hazlewood
Shakin' - Eddie Money
Nearly Anything by The Seeg

Well, there's more, but...

fellas, it's been good to know ya...

Anonymous said...

oops, no list is complete without

The Pina Colada Song - Ruper Holmes

Anonymous said...

Streets of London by Ralph McTell makes me want to punch someone in the mouth every time I hear it. Also, songs about artists tend to be crap: eg, Starry starry night and Matchdog men.

Frank Strovel III said...

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Wham!

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel (almost a career-ender)

Pretty much any overblown power-ballad written by Diane Warren.

Anonymous said...

Screamin' Jay simply does not belong on this list. I can put that song on repat for hours at a time. I Put a Spell on You was one of the high points of 20th century culture.

I'd also defend the Trashmen, but not as vigorously.

I'd add pretty much anything by Olivia Newton John to the list. Oh, and Morning Train by Shena Easton.

Anonymous said...

Gee, two songs by Bobby Goldsboro! If you recall he had a TV show for 3 years and I wrote one of those years and the guy was a pleasure to work with. Oh well ... so how about a list of of "best" all-time songs???

Anonymous said...

I remember hearing "Hot in Herre" on the radio for the first time (subsequently I would race to change to dial if I even thought I heard it) - I actually thought it was a parody of a really bad song, not an actual song that was that bad. I think it was so bad that I actually called a friend of mine to tell them about this song that was so ridiculously bad. This also went for the first time I was accosted by the JLo atrocity that is "Jenny from the Block." Yeah, you're just the same person, blah, blah. Keep it to yourself, no one cares if you're the same or not. It's not going to get me to buy any of your music or movies, or perfume or clothes, or, fill in the blank. So think of another angle, girlfriend.

Nice list, Ken. Have you started a list of the best songs of all-time? After the song "Times a Wastin'" was featured in "Walk the Line", it has become one of my favorite songs. The lyrics are sweet and sexy and it's just a nice song.

-- Kate

Anonymous said...

I got one. How about Lulu "Me The Peaceful Heart"?


By Ken Levine said...

Me the Peaceful Heart is a GREAT song. Anything by Lulu is great.

To the writer of one of the Bobby Goldsboro songs on the list -- Wow, I'm impressed. Which one? If you have your own blog and decide to list the ten worst TV shows you are welcome to return the favor and list AfterMASH.

As hard as it is to get people to agree on worst song selections, I'm sure it would be impossible to get people to agree on the best. There are probably many songs that would appear on both lists.

Anonymous said...

let's not forget "tryin' to get a message to you" by the beegees or "do you feel like i do" by peter frampton. anything by the monkees or other corporate pop groups.

Beth Ciotta said...

I actually like a few songs on your list as well as several on xiane's list--but I refuse to name them for fear of being laughed out of blogoshere. ;)

Emily Blake said...

Oh yes, "Macarthur Park". I always enjoyed Brak of Space Ghost's take on that: "Someone left a cake out in the rain, but now it's all wet and I don't think I want any."

But you've got to add "96 Tears" by the Mysterians. I think I vomit a little every time I hear that piece of garbage.

Shawn said...

I kind of like ONE TIN SOLDIER...

But then it's a bit of a campfire song for me...

Anonymous said...

Go-gos: Our lips are sealed... seriously, I remember my highschool cheerleaders making better harmonies.

Toby Keith: His entire collection - this administration is doing badly enough without his encouragement.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to hear them all back-to-back! Now THERE'S the radio format that out-Jacks "Jack".

I'll nominate these additions:
Ringo - Lorne Green
I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
Delta Dawn - Helen Reddy
The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia - Vicki Lawrence
Patches - Dickey Lee (not Clarence Carter)
Nuttin' for Christmas - Barry Gordon (Former SAG President!)
Side Show - Blue Magic
Say It Loud (I'm Black and I'm Proud) - James Brown
You're Havin' My Baby - Paul Anka

more crap on request!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Hey, Mickey and Take My Breath Away. This is the blog of blogs... for writers and other word trippers! Thanks

Anonymous said...

I would definately add "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka, and anything ever sung, hummed, or even contemplated by William Shatner.


Brent McKee said...

Thank you for mentioning both of Terry Jacks' "hits": "Seasons in the Sun" and Which Way You Goin' Billy?" which he did with his soon to be ex-wife Susan as "The Poppy Family". They had the good fortune of coming along just as the Canadian Content regulations came in here in Canada so their songs were in constant rotation, much to the digust of people who like real music regardless of the form it might take. I can almost forgive you for putting Gordon Lightfoot on the list (and if you think "Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald" is long you never heard his "Canadia Railway Trilogy".

Anonymous said...


Love it! One thing: It's "Trying to Get the Feeling" (not "Stop" the feeling) by Barry Manilow. God knows, listening to it, I couldn't stop the feeling of wanting to strangle the man.

Anonymous said...

How about "We Built This City"--Starship? Terrible!

I think it's very appropriate that Honey is at the top of the list. But now...I HAVE IT STUCK IN MY HEAD. Damn you! *shakes fist*

(Kidding. Love the list.)

Chesher Cat said...

Rock The Boat - The Hues Corporation.

I had to travel to the B.C. interior to shoot them for RCA. They played at some weird place that had a small lake or large pond in front of the stage. That's what I call on the nose. The audience loved it.

Thanks for the reminder, Ken. Now the song is in my head:

"So I'd like to know where, you got the notion
said I'd like to know where, you got the notion

to rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
rock the boat, don't tip the boat over
rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby
rock the boat-t-t-t-t"

Might have to put their picture on my blog now...maybe Ray Stevens and Kiki Dee, too.

Anonymous said...

by John Anderson

I win this game.

Anonymous said...

No one's mentioned Britney or any of the boy bands! Are we long in the tooth with these older examples of disaster on vinyl? (Music's still on vinyl, right?)

Anonymous said...

Last Game of the Season (Blind Man in the Bleachers) by Kenny Starr.

Sharone Rosen said...

I Like "We Built this City!" Of course, I was a DJ in the suberbs of that city at the time.. maybe that had something to do with it..


and.. as for Bobby Goldsboro's HONEY, one of the all time funniest sketches on TV was when the Smother's Brothers led a tour of THE HONEY HOUSE, singing that song as straight as can be and leading a tour... "see the tree, how big it's grown...." An all time classic...
AS IS YOUR BLOG!!! Love it!

Anonymous said...


You forgot "Leader Of The Pack" by the Shangri-las. Most effective use of a motorcycle sound effect in a love song ever.

branfordbob said...

Hearing them all back-to-back would be the radio format that out Jacks Jack: JACK SHIT!

You missed the Bay City Rollers' "SSS-SSS-SSS-Saturday Night" (apologies to Howard Hoffman).

Also, Blue Swede's version of "Hooked On A Feeling". A life-long regional Capitol Records rep once told me, "That record wasn't released, it escaped!"


Tom said...

Don't Give Up On Us Baby sung by David Soul.

Sure to make any music lover suicidal by the middle of the first verse.

Anonymous said...

The Song - Somebody's Knocking -

Should I let him in,
Lord it's the devil
Would you look at him,
I heard about him, but I never dreamed
He'd have blue eyes and blue jeans.

Actually, I've always had a fond spot in my heart for ONE TIN SOLDIER due to its excellent placement in BILLY JACK.

Anonymous said...

Ken, what a fun list! My darling boyfriend Ray turned me on to your blog, but neglected to tell me he had posted a negative comment about Mr. Manilow. OOPS (read on). Barry is classic! (This comes from a thirtysomething in LA, by the way, not some aging housewife in Peoria somewhere)

My theory has always been that most people DO like Barry more than they're willing to admit. For example, the very same boyfriend referenced above, you will note, is the one who pointed out the inaccuracy of Barry's song title on your list. Hmmmm. (For someone who "wanted to strangle the man," he sure knows an awful lot about him, eh? My point EXACTLY.) Anyway, despite the fact he's a closet Fanilow, he WAS sweet enough to take me to his fab Vegas show, so I shouldn't tease him too fact, I suppose it only proves how MUCH he adores me that he was willing to clap along and wave his neon glowstick (oh, yes) along with all the rest of us Barry fans...

Oh, and people...don't make me go into my theory about ONJ. (Are you seriously putting her in a category with MEATLOAF??) I agree wholeheartedly with Shawna about "The Thong Song"...but are there NO votes for "Ice, Ice, Baby," "Who Let the Dogs Out" or "Achy Breaky Heart?" "Macarena?" ANYONE? I'll close with a few more of MY suggestions:

Mambo No. 5 (Lou Bega)
Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover (Sophie B. Hawkins)
Lay Lady, Lay (Bob Dylan)
Touch Me (The Doors)
I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman - (Britney Spears)
I Shot the Sheriff (all versions)
ANYTHING by Bobby Brown or

I could go on...but I'm suddenly VERY in the mood to dial up some Manilow on my iPod (ha!). Thanks for the fun blog...happy holidays!

Nina S. Firooz said...

Ahhh, Ken Levine. Nicely done! I can't believe no one has suggested this, but -- CAMEL TOE?!?! By Fanny Pack! Holy mother, that is one horrible song.

Callaghan said...

"Walking on Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves.

Hate it.

Anonymous said...

I think you DO have to seperate material and performance--at the very least, Ken, you should call it "Worst RECORDINGS of all time". You may not relate to the yodel arranged version Frank Ifield did of "I Remember You", but the song was written by one of the legends of Tin Pan Alley, Johnny Mercer. And you can't dismiss any compostion that has the unfortunate luck of being tackled by Mrs. Miller.
(note for the younger crowd...Mrs. Miller was the William Hung of the 1960's).

Mary Stella said...

I'm joining the ranks who like One Tin Soldier, but I'm also admitting to liking the movie Billy Jack. At least I did when I was a high school idealist. Have to see the movie again.

I've Never Been to Me is #1 on my personal "Jukebox from Hell" playlist.

Please add every Golden Throat song from Rhino Records. Sebastian Cabot singing "Like a Rolling Stone". (He's juiced in it for sure.) Leonard Nimoy's "Proud Mary".

Also tacking on the Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias duet "To All the Girls I Loved Before."

Anonymous said...

"Nights In White Satin"--plus any song The Moody Blues ever wrote, recorded, or even thought about writing or recording.

Frank Strovel III said...

Mary Stella: I have one of those Golden Throat CDs. I had to drag it out after this blog post.

Joshua: "Somebody"s Knocking" is by Terri Gibbs. Good choice.

Anonymous said...

ding dong the witch is dead--with a name like ding dong, she should be dead...
-thanks br

Anonymous said... misunderstood my note here...I didn't write one of the Goldsboro songs, just one season of his short lived TV-variety show (which no one remembers!). And I wouldn't put any of your shows in a list of worst sit-com shows fact, both you and David have turned out some fine TV work! I'm a fan!

Noah said...

The Freshman -- The Verve Pipe

A Moment Like This -- Kelly Clarkson

Anonymous said...

one night while being forced into performing "the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald" (i make no apologies for my behavior around rich, free spending drunks in a bar i'm playing) i went up on the lyrics, right in the middle, so i improvised with "now i like this song 'cause it's so fucking long and nobody else knows the words" nobody. noticed. a. thing.

Anonymous said...

"Baby I'm a want you" by Bread? Are you crazy? I got to second base with Sharon W. in my Jewish sleepaway camp by playing that on cassette tape!

Rob Bates said...

Man, you listed A LOT of really good songs in there ...

"Chirpy Chirpy" -- I just think people hate because the English version (by Middle of the Road) is so horrible; "I Sold My Heart to the Junkman" is great (and is on the recent girl groups box set); and none other than Pete Townsend of the Who agrees with me that "Past, Present, Future" is one of the greatest songs of all time. It's moronic, yes, but awesomely so.

And no Billy Joel on such a list! For shame! I nominate "A Matter of Trust" and "You're Only Human" - two particularly dismal songs from a dismal talent.

MaryAn Batchellor said...

AAACCKK! Take Honey off your list. I'm holding a twinkie to my temple and I'm not coming out until we negotiate.

FraggleRock said...

"I'm too Sexy" by Right Said Fred has got to be on the list also.

I'm enjoying your posts, Ken. Keep up the good work!

1hotnovelist said...

The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia, Wichita Lineman (and anything else by Glenn Campbell), Wooly Bully, Mandy (and all Barry Manilow, incl. Copa Cabana), The Battle of New Orleans, anything by the Box Tops, Don Maclean's Vincent, Little Green Apples, Helen Reddy's I Am Woman, Johnny Angel by Shelly Fabres, Around The World by Daft Punk, I Don't Care About You, Fuck You! by the Fugs, Sugar, Honey Honey, anything by Lee Ving, D-I-V-O-R-C-E, I Just Want To Say I Love You...the list goes on...

BUT: LEADER OF THE PACK??? For shame! One of the All Time Greatest Love Songs! xoxo Alexis

1hotnovelist said...

oh, yes...Harper Valley PTA

Anonymous said...

Gee, some of the worst songs also happen to be some of the first songs I came to know as a child. I liked them as a child, but I guess it's time to put away childish things, so:

Wild One - Bobby Rydell
Purple People Eater - Sheb Wooley
Bristol Stomp - The Dovells

I could name dozens from the late 60s but as bad as they are, they're catchy and I still listen to them now and then.

By the way, Ian Whitcomb still gets decent royalties from "You Turn Me On" and still gets requests to perform it. It's one tune Sinatra never covered.

Anonymous said...

Gonna have to disagree with Elvis' Do The Clam.

Unknown said...

Not Transfusion by Nervous Norvus!!! I loved that song, would play it again and again... ok, so maybe I *was* ten years old... (no, this was before Dr. Demento played it)

"I'm never never never gonna speed again..
Put a gallon in it Allan"

Anonymous said...

"The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence gives me the dry heaves every time I hear it if I can't change the station fast enough....

I once wrote a parody of "Johnny Angel" for Shelley Fabares where I changed Johnny Angel into a hit man for the mob... (last line: "How I love him, and I pray that someday he'll love me -- and together we'll rub out the Gotti family") -- she loved it...

Frank Strovel III said...

"Wichita Lineman"? No way! Jimmy Webb is rolling over in his grave.

Orlando C. Harn said... Joshua Kadison

This horrible song was all over the radio in 1993, and I haven't heard it since then, but I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGET IT. That's a formative experience for you.

Orlando C. Harn said...

Also "Night Moves" by Bob Seger. The most self-pitying act of nostalgia I've ever encountered.

Orlando C. Harn said...

And let's not forget "I Love You Always Forever" by Donna Lewis. As the song goes on she sounds like some sort of psychotic 10-year-old swooning over her teacher.

Jennifer R said...

Had I been a boy, I would have been NAMED after "Watching Scotty Grow."

Think on that for awhile. Then be glad I was born a girl.

Anonymous said...

Here's one that'll trump all you mothers. "LET THE EAGLE SOAR" written and performed by John Ashcroft. I can't even count the number of levels that this song sucks.

Anonymous said...

These Boots Are Made For Walkin' has survived again.

Anonymous said...

I'd have to agree with most of your suggestions, (and won't admit to the ones I don't agree with) but would like to add:
Donna Summer's "Macarthur Park"
William Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (the horror!)
and a song called "Pineapple Princess". I unfortunately don't recall the singer, but it is a song so bad it makes you want to hit it with a rolled up newspaper and yell "Bad Song! Bad Song!"
Also: "My Pal Foot Foot" by The Shaggs. "Bilbo Baggins" by Leonard Nimoy.
And I have to second the vote for "Achy Breaky Heart". (shudder)

Anonymous said...

I have 2 that must be added and removed from the airwaves for the sake of the next generation.

"Islands in the stream" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

"Lollipop" by Chordettes----These songs cause homicidal actions.

Anonymous said...

Henry Gross, 'Shannon'; Leif Garrett, everything

Anonymous said...

Apparently CNN writers get ideas from your blog:

Anonymous said...

I gotta nominate 'Imagine' by John Lennon for the lyrics, they read like something scribbled in a high school yearbook by a fourteen year old with delusions of being an intellectual. Painfully bad.

Anonymous said...

"Patio Lanterns"? Kill me.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. I don't want to know you. But you called the greatest song ever made - Surfin' Bird - one of the worst songs of all time.
So know this, I consider you and will forever consider you my enemy.

Anonymous said...

Olivia Newton John in a worst songs list? And plus, that is "Please Mr Pleae" which is one of my favourites.. You should be joking? What do you call a good music, Eminem, 50 Cents, Black Sabbath or what?
Laughing Out Loud to this list...

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled across this most entertaining thread while googling for some Louden Wainwright lyrics. Can't believe Mull of Kintyre by Sir Moptop escaped mention. Someone earlier said Ralph McTell's Streets of London always makes him want to punch someone in the mouth - and who could quibble? M of K is the track that makes anything with a pulse suddenly view suicide in a whole new light...

Anonymous said...

Wow! What a great list. Thanks to all for helping seed my Pandora station.

Anonymous said...

Now, THESE are absolutely THE ALL TIME WORST SONGS! Forget all the other lists these songs are the worst by fact. I would seriously advise you not to listen to them in the dark because they will scare you, they're so bad. They go in order of badness.
1. McArthur Park-Richard Harris
2. Dreams of the Everyday Housewife-Glen Campbell
3. Honey- Bobby Goldsboro
4. In The Year 2525-Zager & Evans
5. Muskrat Love-Captain & Tennille
6. Get the F*** Out of My House-2 Live Crew
7.Feelings- Morris Albert
8.Afternnon Delight-Starland Vocal Band
9. Parents Just Don't Understand-Dj Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
10.The Pina Colada Song-Rupert Holmes

Anonymous said...

Just saw this list. Not bad. I agree with most of it.

My personal vote for Worst Song of All Time will always be MACARTHUR PARK by anybody. I can't listen to it without want to slit my wrists or beat the hell out of the idiot who left the cake out in the rain after losing the recipe. I don't know why that bothers me so much but it does!!!

I'd like to add Brand New Key by Melanie. I think that choice speaks for itself.

Anonymous said...

Every music by hard rock/heavy metal and grunge bands out there and 70's rock--Can't stand them; HATE THEM WITH A PASSION!

Anonymous said...

If you hated MacArthur Park, you may love Weird Al's "Jurassic Park." Bobby Goldsboro is guilty of some very schmaltzy songs like the ones mentioned, but he had some good ones that are forgotten, like "Voodoo Woman" and "It's Too Late to Say You're Sorry." I must say, "Good Morning, Starshine" is a nightmare that periodically surfaces in my mind causing supreme torture. Here are a few additional stinkers: "Daddy Don't You Walk so Fast" by Wayne Newton; "My Cup Runneth Over" by Robert Goulet; "Winchester Cathedral" by New Vaudeville Band which ACTUALLY WON a Grammy for best contemporary R&R recording in 1967. Rock and roll? My 10-year old self was doubled over in disbelief and revulsion, forever diminishing the Grammy awards as B.S. in my mind. Sue Thompson was awful...please add "Norman" to her list. How about "I Can Help" by Billy Swan? I truly hated "Mr. Bojangles," both by Sammy Davis or the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. It falls into the sickenenly schmaltzy washtub along with Bread's recordings. Moving ahead, how about "I Honestly Love You" by Olivia Newton-John? And let's give Helen Reddy another vote for "I Am Woman." If you add "96 Tears," you simply must add "Come on Down to My Boat, Baby."

Anonymous said...

Playground of My Mind... such a horrible song I wanna punch out the kid every time I hear it.

Anonymous said...

all music is good to someone and all music is bad to someone

Anonymous said...

the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald?
my gandfather was on it when it went down soooo lame people who dont know anything can not tell me what songs are bad... good bye

Anonymous said...

What about that gawdawful song "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. That has got to be the WORST song of the entire 20th century!!!

Anonymous said...

No, it gets even worse. Anka did a cover of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." It's on iTunes...


Anonymous said...

well crap, I liked a LOT of these songs. Guess I am jest gettin old!
I have to add one song.......Brand New Key by Melanie. Gets stuck in my mind and can't get rid of it! Makes me want to puke!

Unknown said...

The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars
If U Seek Amy - Britney Spears
Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue - Toby Keith
London Bridge - Fergie
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett
Gangnam Style - PSY
Laffy Taffy - D4L
Tonight (I'm F**king You) - Enrique Iglesias
This Is Why I'm Hot - Mims
Boyfriend - Justin Bieber
Judas - Lady Gaga
Gimme All Your Luvin' - Madonna
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
Run Joey Run - David Geddes
Pretty much any "American Idol" coronation single
Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo - Tracy Byrd
The Christmas Shoes - Newsong
Shots - LMFAO
Sexy And I Know It - LMFAO
Sorry For Party Rocking - LMFAO
Any Jennifer Lopez/Ja Rule collaboration
When A Man Loves A Woman - Michael Bolton
God Bless The USA - Lee Greenwood
Birthday Cake - Rihanna
Like A G6 - Far East Movement

Jay Walker said...

I know I'm years late to the party but better late than never. As an old disc jockey I felt the need to chime in with my "Worst of" additions. These two tragic classics actually got airplay and made the Hot 100. Both were songs that would have made Richard Nixon's Silent Majority or today's Fox News viewer proud...YIKES!!! There's a very scarey thought indeed.

(1) "Open Letter To My Teenage Son" - Victor Lundberg
(2) "Dawn of Correction" - The Spokesmen

The Spokesmen title was one of those typical "answer back" songs of the era as a "rebuttal" to Barry Maguire's nihilistic, yet catchy hit EVE OF DESTRUCTION.

Victor Lundberg's song was most likely written around the draft, and sounds like something Art Linkletter would have written during his family's time of duress..

Anonymous said...

Little Willie - The Sweet

Avrielle said...

Two of the very worst, most nauseating, impossible-to-listen-to songs of all time: "Bobby's Girl" sung by Marcie Blane (1962) and "Remember...Walking in the Sand" by Music Player (1964)!

Bird of Paradise said...

Big Yellow Taxi i cant stand this stupid ecology crap song

Rockin Robin said...

I like Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,Surfin Bird,The Night Chicago Died, what i cant stand is Junkfood Junkie

King Condor said...

Broomstick Cowboy by Bobby Goldsboro,Dog & Butterfly,Age of Aquarius a drug Song for sure

Captain Whitebread said...

What? No "Tennessee Birdwalk"? :D

Cecil Newson said...

I don't disagree with your number one choice, but I have to tell you that you have to hear Paralyzed by The Legendary Stardust Cowboy. Bob Collins used to play it on WGN.

Cecil Newson said...

Great choices. I'd like to hear your opinion of Paralyzed by The Legendary Stardust Cowboy. Bob Collins used to play it on WGN.

Robert Fronczak said...

"Everything Is Beautiful" and "America Communicate With Me" by Ray Stevens.

In fact, just about any song Ray Stevens ever put out belongs on this list.

Eric said...

A few of my picks for the worst songs of all time:

"Beth" by Kiss. Treacly sap from the most overrated band of all time. Every time Peter Criss sobs "Oh Beth, what can I do?" I imagine Don Corleone grabbing him and screaming "YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

"All Summer Long" by Kid Rock. A horrible mash-up of "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Werewolves of London" by a no-talent poseur who grew up in one of Detroit's wealthiest neighborhoods, but likes to pretend to be a redneck from the deep south. It's kind of amazing how he can try his hand at so many musical genres (rock, rap, country, metal) and manage to fail at every single one.

"Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground. A boring song about two of the most fun things imaginable.

"Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Even if I didn't already loathe the Nuge for his hateful political and social views, this song would be enough to make me dislike him.

Anything by Phish, because one Grateful Dead is more than enough. (And I actually like the Dead.) What did the Phish fan say when he stopped smoking pot? "Boy, this band sucks!"

Anything by 311. Horrible white ska/reggae/hip-hop group who are like a poor man's Red Hot Chili Peppers. Warren Beatty in "Bulworth" is a better rapper than these guys.

On the other hand, I must disagree with both "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen and "I Put a Spell on You" by Screamin' Jay Hawkins being on the list. Both of them are straight-up classics which I will defend til the day I die.

scottmc said...

I was curious to see this list again. A friend of mine is in a singing group that recently did a show of covers from the 60's and 70's. They sang mostly what you'd expect. But they also sang 'Guitar Man'. At first I was unable to recall who recorded it, figured some singer/songwriter. Bread! If not that song, I was pleased to see one of their songs on the list.