Here they are, the five finalists. The judge said it was verrrry hard narrowing them down and a good fifteen others just missed the cut. Congratulations to those who were nominated. My sincere thanks to everyone for playing. If you were nominated, please email me directly so I can get your contract information.Now comes the voting. It's up to you Ameria...and the world. Simply leave a comment voting for A, B, C, D, E. This is the only time I'll accept anonymous comments. And please just confine your comments to voting. I don't need any "these all suck, mine was so much better" posts. Remember, this is all in the spirit of fun.
So now, here they are.
DANNY HAD SUCH A FEAR OF COMMITMENT THAT HE...
A... shouts his own name during sex.
B...told his mother he "Wanted to see other moms."
C...listed his actual salary on match.com.
D...was fired from the video store for stocking "Four Weddings and a Funeral" under "horror".
E...that he only dated Iraqi female suicide bombers.
The polls are open! Voting ends at 11:59 PM PDT on Tuesday night April 22. One vote per comment. Again, many thanks to all who participating. Remember, the prize is spectacular (a signed AfterMASH script) so take great care in your voting.
Addendum: Very interesting reaction to E. Most people think it's in poor taste. And a few have voted for it. It certainly is not politically correct. On the other hand, comedy is sometime very subversive, risky, and even offensive. So in a strange way I'm glad that E. is there. You don't have to vote for it (and clearly many of you are not) but I like that there's a wide range of styles and tones. If I had received 600 variations of the same line it wouldn't be any fun. This might be a great topic for debate in a later post.
274 comments :
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 274 of 274B stood out for me.
I'll vote for B. D is the second-funniest, but it's just a little too wordy. If only FWAAF was a shorter title.
laughed out loud at B and E, but think the wording of E is distracting (too many qualifiers of suicide bomber). so, for all around goodness, my vote goes to... B
'Doctor Strangelove' was funny.
Still is.
I vote for B.
B. Definitely B. Funny, and in a way that used to be funny. Won't go stale in two or three years (or whenever the references in two of the others are no longer remembered.)
B
easy B over E by a head
Cheers
B
C...listed his actual salary on match.com.
I vote for B.
B !
D was too long getting to the payoff. C was too cute, requiring too much thought to get to the payoff. E took me right out of the joke, it isn't funny. A was also okay, worked, but B worked best.
B
B made me laugh the hardest.
B
B
E
c
B
B
B
I gotta go with B too
C...listed his actual salary on match.com
I pick E and don't find it offensive in the least.... just funny.
E
C
B
Third attempt to vote. Hope this finally goes through. Otherwise, I call shenanigans!
B
B (though it was a hard choice between B & D)
B
D.
B
Oh, definitely B - made me giggle. But they were all pretty funny. Even E, although it was worded clumsily. And sometimes its those sick ones that stay with you. Unfortunate or not, I still remember the one about "Why aren't there any jokes about the Jonestown massacre? .... The punch line is too long". But anyway, B is a classic
E all the way.
Offensive is funny. Always.
Here's another vote for B
A
D
Definitely D.
B
I vote for D, although I think it may work better written down than it does aloud.
Paula said:
B
It was laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks
D - the only unfunny one
C - fades over time
E - doesn't roll off the tongue too well
A - good, but didn't make me laugh out loud
B - boy oh boy... a real zinger.
I vote B.
E.
Only if it were to be rewritten ...
Iraqi does not make it any funnier.
Brevity ....
E. ... he only dates female Suicide Bombers.
good point anon. and come to think of it, you don't need the 'female' either.
... he only dated suicide bombers.
Another vote for B.
My second choice is D, but if you run this contest again, I'll substitute "The Wedding Planner" and see how that works.
Okay, I bet you won't run this contest again, but it was great fun. Thanks. Challenge us again sometime, if you can stand it!
E
C.
B, slight edge over D.
B
And congrats to the finalists.
D!
Gotta be B
A
B
B
lizzie v.
D...esp. since your own funeral is quite a long-term commitment
(but B came in very close 2nd)
I like C
I love E, politically incorrect or not. It made me laugh out loud.
A we've heard before; B is my second choice; I've been married too long to get C; and D is clever but not my top choice.
(I tried to post anonymously a few times already, so I hope this isn't a repeat - it isn't showing up for me)
B
a. Clearly.
B is too wordy, as many are. I'll go with A.
Maybe I'm going to hell for it, but E is the only one that really made me laugh.
B...told his mother he "Wanted to see other moms."
C...listed his actual salary on match.com.
a tough, TOUGH choice... gotta go with
B
C !!! Actually made me laugh.
"Anonymous said...
B is too wordy, as many are."
TOO WORDY? WHAT could possibly be eliminated from that joke? Show me ONE WORD you could remove without destroying not only the joke, but all possible sense? It is edited down to the bone. Strunk and White's dictum "Omit needless words" has been fully practiced there.
More than one person noted that "Iraqi" and "Female" could be eliminated from E without harming, and in fact improving, the joke, but B, and A and C also for that matter, are edited down to the bare minimum.
There's just no pleasing some anonymous people. At least he/she practiced what he/she preached, as he/she eliminated his/her name from his/her insane snark.
Is it already time to vote for the KKK contest? well, no question for me:
E
just because it's there, and just because it's the KKK
C
tallulah: my reaction exactly. But "B" does have a slight punctuation problem. The quotation marks should start at "see," not "Wanted." Unless of course Danny is speaking to Mom in the past tense.
Jbryant, you have a valid point, unlike the absurd "Too wordy" criticism.
The joke could be corrected, not improved, just corrected (I happen to know that the author of that joke's grandmother was a strict English teacher, so she'd approve correcting it), by moving the opening quotation marks over to "to". No need to go as far as "See".
Is there homework? Cheers.
D!
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