Saturday, March 25, 2017

My favorite weekend

Yes, I'm dipping into the archives but it's one of my favorite all-time posts, so what the hell?  I've picked up a few new readers since it ran six years ago.  Here's how long ago this was originally posted -- there's a MySpace joke.  But you will get the idea. 
The Thursday Calendar section of the LA TIMES has a feature called “My Favorite Weekend”. A celebrity is asked to describe his or her favorite southland weekend. It’s always bullshit, but now it seems they’re running out of real celebrities. At one time it was Sharon Stone. Now it's one of the models who holds briefcases on DEAL OR NO DEAL. Like anyone gives a crap that she likes to go to Catalina with friends on Sunday then have dinner at someone’s house and let his chef prepare the meal.

So I wrote up my favorite weekend. Or at least, a typical weekend for me. And God bless the TIMES, they ran it. Here it is again just in case you're looking for something to do today and tomorrow.

Friday I like to get an early start and hit the cockfights in Tijuana. I enjoy the action and it’s fun to see all the young couples out on their first dates.

From there I’ll go to the Hotel Del Coronado for a swim to wash any blood off.

There’s a Stuart Anderson’s Black Angus restaurant in Oceanside right off Interstate 5. They have a three-course dinner for two that includes two sides. And on Friday you can get their signature clam chowder, just like the cowboys used to make.

Saturday morning I power walk from Westwood to Malibu, get the paper, then power walk home. Along the way I may stop at an artist friend’s house and pose for a bust.

For lunch I’ll meet some ex car thieves at Bob’s Big Boy in Toluca Lake. Their Big Boy hamburger is an LA classic, but I order their Super Big Boy hamburger because that one has meat in it.

After lunch and checking to see that one of my dining companions didn’t steal my XM radio, I amble over to the Twin Swallows Oriental Massage Parlor in nearby Inglewood for some pampering at negotiated rates.

Once that ends happily I head back home to work on my “project”. It’s been a ten year labor of love. I’m assembling a table I bought at Ikea in 1998.

For drinks at sunset, especially in the summer when the sky turns an awe inspiring crimson, I prefer the bar at the Shangri-La motel at the beach. Only wish it had a window so I could see outside.

If I went whale hunting the week before I’ll come home and grill it for dinner. I’ll invite some close friends I met on MySpace and we’ll eat, discuss the theater, sample fine wines, and toss water balloons at the useless neighborhood watch patrol car.

Early Sunday morning I reserve for calling back everyone who called me during the week. For some reason I usually wind up leaving messages on their voice mail. I’ve yet to reach my dentist.

For breakfast I’m cutting down on eggs so it’s back to the Shangri-La motel bar for a Ramos Gin Fizz. Those eggs can kill you.

Next I steal a horse and play polo at Will Rogers State Park. The guys love me because I usually bring the little orange juice boxes when we break for snacks.

I love star watching so for lunch I zip out to the Motion Picture Country Home and Hospital in Woodland Hills. Last week I saw the remaining cast members of MCHALE’S NAVY.

Sunday afternoon is culture time. You can’t be well informed if you don’t read. Currently I’m poring through Helen Reddy’s autobiography.

Sunday evening is sushi so that means Angel Stadium in Anaheim. There’s nothing like watching the Halos duel the Kansas City Royals and hearing that vendor come down the aisle yelling “Hey, sushi right here! Get yer yellowtail!”

I get home, use the neighbor’s Jacuzzi if he’s not home, watch the CELEBRITY FIT CLUB and then it’s time for bed. The great thing about LA is that it’s not just me – EVERYONE here has weekends like this.


VP81955 said...

Ken, for your sake, I hope that it either:

* Ran close to April Fools Day, or
* Included a disclaimer from the Times so people would get the jokes.

Mike Botula said...

Now, I'm really homesick for California! A weekend in Texas pales by comparison.

Andrew said...

Hi Ken. Not a Friday question, but an off-topic request: Could you do an "in memoriam" post on Robert Osborne? I know you've referred to him in prior posts, but that was in the context of introducing movies on TCM yourself. I'd love to hear your insights, memories, critiques, etc. Osborne seems to be one of those rare people that everyone loved. His commentaries were just outstanding.

blinky said...

Very funny especially the Ikea joke!
Bobs Big Boy is funny, period. I am making an animated GIF of the Big Boy bobble head and changing the hair color to Trump Cheeto orange. Look for it on Reddit. Hoping to go viral.

Todd Everett said...

The more familiar one is with the actual feature this is based on, the more one knows that they probably didn't realize that your submission was a parody.

Steve Lanzi (formerly known as qdpsteve) said...

Ken, sounds like you forgot to list your regular jaunt playing Texas Hold'Em at Hawaiian Gardens Casino.

I'd heard you're quite the high roller at their no-limit tables! ;-)

Unknown said...

Can't wait for your Reddy book review. How does it end, with a roar, or a whimper?

Bryan Thomas said...

Yeah, those IKEA tables are tough. Thingamabob AC is always missing...