Monday, January 01, 2018

My New Years resolutions

Happy New Year!

Here are my New Year’s resolutions:

Throw out my Miramax DVD's.

Finally watch THIS IS US.

Get ALMOST PERFECT on Netflix or Hulu.

Go to the gym at least twice a week. (My gym is usually packed in January and by March it’s me and two other guys.)

Stay off the 405 freeway when it’s crowded (so only take it between 2-4 AM).

Get more productions of my plays.

Meet Claire Danes. (I resolve this every year)

Learn to do an accent in my improv class.

See a Broadway show I wish I had written.

Go somewhere in the world I've never been.

Recover from the jet lag.

Impeach the president.

Finish writing my new play (almost done with the second draft).

Learn what half the features on my car are.

Finish watching THE DEUCE. It's been on DVR for months.

Champion strict gun control.

Get a humor piece in the NEW YORKER.

Get a cartoon in the NEW YORKER.

Avoid the incredibly tasty fried chicken wings at the Hamburger Hamlet.

Keep Tetris playing down to three hours a day.

Answer more Friday Questions (which I'll be able to do if I keep the previous resolution).

Clean my desk (a perennial resolution but this year for sure!)

And finally, solve the Natalie Wood case.

Let's see how many I keep.  What are your resolutions?


Peter said...

Happy New Year, Ken!

If I may make a suggestion. I don't think you need to dispose of your Miramax DVDs. Whilst we can all agree Weinstein is a scumbag, the films he produced were collaborative efforts by talented people, many of whom won't have been aware of what he was doing. I own DVDs of films he produced but I won't deprive myself of enjoying those films because of him. I also own the Naked Gun trilogy and I still enjoy watching them despite the fact OJ Simpson is in them.

My resolution is to try and lose a bit of weight. And read more novels.

Ralph C. said...

My New Year’s resolution is to make no New Year’s resolutions.


Jeff said...

Please could you add: Struggle and suffer and somehow watch Golden Globes for one last time and review it for the sake of selfish readers 😀

Some pics of Ann-Margret would be nice in this year's blogs.

Sandra said...

Gym at this age? That's great... Ken!!!

Mark Potts said...

Ken: I can get you the next best thing to s story in the New Yorker. How can I get in touch with you to discuss?

blinky said...

Get chummy with Sinatra.
Who had that resolution and on what great sitcom? He was also on a series that just ended.

Tom said...

Steve Jobs allegedly harangued the original Macintosh team into expending a lot of effort on machine startup time with an argument about net productivity gain across all computer buyers.

He probably hadn't anticipated Tetris.

By Ken Levine said...

I can always be reached at

VP81955 said...

Write a few more comedy feature screenplays...and sell at least one of them.

Roseann said...

Claire Danes is worth waiting for. As you now know I worked the pilot for Homeland with her.

Brad Apling said...

Finally watch Game of Thrones.
Write a play.
Write another play.
Move my funny bone closer to my writing hand.
Finish a script and submit.
Write another script.
Read more often (> 1/2 book/year)
Find out how many people mistake Ken Levine (game developer) for Ken Levine (screenwriter).
Cook one meal from scratch.

Cheryl Marks said...

My resolution is to send my Christmas cards - after I write them, that is.

blinky said...

OK fine. Peter Scolari on Newhart.
The extension of that obscure reference is the series final shot which I posted on FB with a pic of Bob and Suzanne in bed.:
I was hoping to wake up today and tell my wife about this weird dream I had where a bunch of country bumpkins had taken over the country and let a clueless 12 year old bully with tiny hands be president. Turns out it wasn't a dream.

DG said...

My New Year's resolution is about 2560x1080.

Unknown said...

With all due respect to blinky:

Donald Trump is not a country bumpkin.
He's a Park Avenue Brat who got to be Bully of the Town by selling himself to toadies of all neighborhoods, who were more than willing to sell themselves out to him.

"Some fools there were
Who made their prayer
To a rag, a bone
And a hank of hair."
- Kipling (I think - correction welcomed)

Mibbitmaker said...

I'd put impeachment at the tip of the list.

re: OJ in the Naked Gun movies: His character gets hurt a lot in those. Those scenes can be enjoyed on a whole different level since they originally came out.

Breadbaker said...

If I had to bet, I'd put the Hamburger Hamlet wings at the top of "least likely to be kept" among your resolutions.

jcs said...

- More exercising
- More travelling for leisure, less travelling for business
- Less pussyfooting
- Publish more
- Be more relaxed
- Follow through more often

Dr Loser said...

BTW, Ken -- my New Year's Wish for you is that you get to publish that cartoon in the New Yorker. Given your abilities (draftsmanship andhumor) I truly believe you can do it.

When it happens, tell us the issue. I for one will buy it.

Mazel Tov!

blinky said...

I hear you Mike Doran. But I said the CBs elected Trump. He is a city slicker con man fooling all the country mice.

Angry Gamer said...

To impeach the president requires you to be a member of the House of Representatives

And vote on articles of impeachment (as happened during the presidency of William Jefferson Clinton) which would require a simple majority.

So... are you announcing your candidacy or just making comedy like Senator Franken used to do on SNL?

Actually being a Senator vs a Representative would enable to you to Vote for the President's removal from office if the House does indeed vote for Impeachment. I believe THIS is what you actually mean by "Impeach the President". You don't wish him to be President any longer.

Friday question for ya Ken.

Have you ever done a joke that you knew in your heart the central facts were false? But since there was no comedy value in actually explaining the true fact nuances you went with the joke anyway. Thus perpetuating a false narrative while getting that laugh.

And if you did, did you feel remorse in perpetuating a false story line?

The example above makes a good example "Impeach the President" is imperfect since as happened with Clinton you can impeach a President and he's still President and you wasted everyone's time if the Senate does not have 66 votes supporting.

But that Fake News laugh or giggle was worth it right?

Cap'n Bob said...

There won't be any impeachment or any strict gun laws (I assume you mean like the ones in Chicago, Murder City, USA). Good luck with learning an accent.

Jessy S. said...

I think Angry Gamer is talking about scenes such as the one on Cheers where the door or swinging lid on the bar slams and destroys the glass held above the bar. Then Sam remarks, "That is why we keep the door open." Quite frankly, I wouldn't give a care in the world because you are supposed to suspend belief for everything. For me personally, it was nice to hear that a Cheers episode "ended" in "North Dakota."

Ken said...

@Cap'n bob
Now if Indiana and its habit of putting guns in crackerjack boxes were further away then Chicago would be a lot safer.
Gun laws work when one doesn't have wingnut states in close proximity.
Hawaii has sticker gun laws and among the lowest shooting statistics in US
Any number of facts and studies with Australia and Canada being living proof of the effectiveness of limiting the tools of murder that the weak minded can access.
But being a ammosexual means reality is an elusive concept and delusional fantasies rule ones lack of logic.

Cap'n Bob said...


That's Bob with a capital B. So, let me get this straight. Indiana puts guns in Crackerjack boxes and that's why the Chicago murder rate is so high. Gotcha.

I agree that the weak-minded shouldn't be armed. How do we identify them? In my state you can't get a gun if you are or were a felon or mental patient. That's reasonable, I think.

"Ammosexual" is a meaningless term. And stupid.

Ken said...

Everything is small.
If one votes for a thuglican one is weak minded.
if one thinks that guns are the solution to family arguements That is weak minded
If one thinks that one genetic group of people are superior to another that is weak minded
if one thinks that demented donnie doesn't belong in a jail that is weak minded
If one thinks that guns are a tool of pro lfe that is weak minded

The guns used in Chicago are brought in from Indiana ( the state line abuts East Chicago city limits)
Most of the guns used are from indiana a state that used to proudly brag how they had the greatest number of klan members north of the traitor states ( mason-dixon line separates the traitors from those who defended the country)

Burlivespipe said...

Thanks for all you do (mostly putting a smile on my face - guess that puts you in a category with Natalie Wood, although completely different!) Ken!
my resolution is to check-off at least one more MLB city on my tour and see a ball game (I'm halfway through the AL)...
ambitiously look forward to catching the new Orson Welles film due out this year...
master another slow cooker meal, always centring around the secret ingredient of mustard ...
read more ...
exercise regularly ...
keep on truckin' (in a '70s sense, not like Claude Akins) ...
see a Canadian team win the Stanley Cup again !

Unknown said...

Need to call out some Fake news: " (I assume you mean like the ones in Chicago, Murder City, USA)."
thanks to the NRA, Chicago no longer has the strictest gun laws, despite what Trump says (even when he says "believe me", he isn't truthful). Indiana has much more liberal gun laws (see other posts above).
But we are digressing.
I am in agreement of your review of GG. Always good to get an "insiders" view.