Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Let the holiday season begin

Okay, you can put up your Christmas lights now.

Allright, you can start playing Christmas music on the radio.

It’s safe to cart out Charlie Brown’s Christmas again.

Studios are free to unleash their big holiday tentpole releases.

Take that bottle away from Santa and send him out to the center of the mall.

The tree can go up at Rockefeller Center.

You can open the ice skating rink now.

The Radio City Holiday Show can now officially open. Please close it by March.

Bring on the baseball winter meetings.

It’s still not okay for CBS to colorize and air classic black-and-white sitcoms, but that’s another story.

Networks prepare for their live musicals. Too bad the novelty has worn off.

Hollywood officially shuts down until January. The only business that gets done now is firing known celebrities and executives charged with sexual harassment. And of course their shocked reactions.

Travel today becomes an absolute nightmare. If it happens to snow a quarter-inch in Seattle, all flights in and out of O’Hare are cancelled till January. 

Frantic cooking is taking place. People all over America are making that string bean casserole with Campbell’s Mushroom Soup. (“Why?” I ask.)

And finally, it’s time to stop and give thanks to all the people and things in your life that you’re grateful for. In my case, I start with you.

Travel safe this holiday weekend.


Rick Hannon said...

But you can't LIGHT the tree at Rockefeller Center. Gotta have TWO events, the parade and then, like a week later, the lighting ... the holidays are not gonna monetize themselves, you know. Bums the hell out of a lot of tourists in town for just the weekend hoping to get the full NYC holiday experience;

Anonymous said...


Seeing as its Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'll probably be busy sitting in traffic and trying to salvage some edible green bean from congealed mushroom soup, I just want to take a moment to let you know that one of the things I am thankful for is you.

I don't comment much but each morning I look forward to reading your blog and I enjoy your podcast, too. Please be aware that you are appreciated.

Enjoy the holidays!

Keith in Kalama

James said...

They're playing the original B&W Dick Van Dyke shows on the Decades channel (broadcast--adjust the rabbit ears to get it). I believe they've remastered them because they look incredible in hi-def and B&W. I have no idea why they think color adds anything to it.

Anonymous said...

Total agreement with the CBS colorized versions of classic b&w shows. A friend refers to the string bean, mushroom soup side dish as "white trash casserole."

Wendy M. Grossman said...

No. No Christmas before FRIDAY. We still have two days.


kitano0 said...

I love green bean casserole. Canned beans only, please!
(Confession is good for the soul...)

Unknown said...

Why serve the green been casserole with the canned cream of mushroom soup and the crunchy fried onion rings? To quote 'Fiddler on the Roof', "Because it's tradition!"

Our 'for the holidays' radio station, MIX FM, used to go to an exclusively holiday playlist on Thanksgiving, but this year it started over a week ago.

I still don't understand why you can't play "Winter Wonderland" or "Let it Snow" or "Sleigh Ride" at other times when the temperature dips low....

kent said...

For me, you're a couple of days early. I have always regarded the Friday after Thanksgiving as the official start of Christmas decorations. When I was a kid, in the last millennium, that was pretty standard. Now the stores start their Christmas season before Halloween but I will stick with the day after Thanksgiving. When I read this to my wife, who is a Sabra, she said, "I love it, the start of Christmas announced by a Levine!"

sueK2001 said...

Trashing the green bean casserole????? There goes all your sitcom royalties from the Midwest.

I'm in Duluth, MN where Christmas came early as we have not one but TWO snowstorms to cntend with..
I am grateful I don't have to travel..and grateful to you Ken for giving me something daily to read all these years. Haven't had that since April of 1997 when Mike Royko passed.
May you and yours have a blessed Holiday season!

Tom Galloway said...

No, Xmas stuff doesn't start until December 8th, the day after my birthday. Between Thanksgiving and then, it's all about me! : -)

(This actually was my family's policy when I was growing up. The allowed by me exceptions were, in those pre-VHS days, if they scheduled the one showing of any of the trinity of Grinch, Peanuts, or Rudolph for that period and if the Sears Wish Book arrived.)

Cap'n Bob said...

My younger daughter's birthday is Dec 5 (same as Custer's) so we don't do anything Christmas-like until after that date. I recently saw some Salvation Army bell ringers outside Safeway and I told them to go away until after Thanksgiving.Not that they listened.

Despite marked differences in some of our choices, I read this blog daily and enjoy 95% of it. Thanks.

thomas tucker said...

Thanks, Mr. Levine. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and thank you for the years of interesting reading!

RyderDA said...

You write hilarious stuff. It amazes me that actors can deliver it without busting a gut (like Harvey Korman every time Tim Conway got him). So... how do the actors do it? Are they just such good actors that they can listen to a line that any human would guffaw over and just stand there with a straight face (and, do they go to Comedy Clubs to practice this skill of not laughing at funny stuff?) Or do they read and rehearse it so much that they become "immune" to it's humour, so it's not longer funny to them? Or do they stab themselves with hidden porcupine quills to mask it?

Looking forward to 14 more years of you answering my stupid questions.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to everyone !
But I’m a bit out of the loop-
is that the one where they hang him?

Buttermilk Sky said...

Don't forget to thank Trump for saving Thanksgiving. "They" were going to change the name or something.

I plan to celebrate November 28 as usual -- the birthday of Jon Stewart and Randy Newman.

Sean said...

Happy Thanksgiving Ken!

Hope you're enjoying your family and friends today.


Stu R said...

The good news...pitchers and catchers report in less than 3 months.